Being fat sucks...

C5North
C5North Posts: 50 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I mean it really, really fricken sucks.

But before I go on I guess this is my second intro post I guess.

First can be found here:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1450512-i-m-fat

It just seemed like this is the right spot on the forum to post this one too.

Being fat sucks. Then the question is; why am I fat?

I just got done with a 1.5 mile walk. The longest I've walked without a rest in longer than I can remember. I thought about a lot of stuff.

Why am I fat? Is there a reason?

Well WHY:
- I wasn't sexual abused as a child.
- I wasn't beaten as a child.
- I parents are awesome. I mean truly epic type awesome.
- My wife is awesome. Really incredible and she puts up with me.
- I have a great job. Make what most would consider a lot.
- Low to no stress in my life compared to the trials others endure.

So what is my deal? I love food. That is about it. I knew it sucked being fat at 225 pounds. I did nothing except eat more. I knew it sucked being fat at 275 pounds. Yep, just ate more. I knew it sucked at 300. You guessed it. So there I was at 365, pain all the time. I get winded climbing one flight of stairs for crying out loud. I mean heavy breathing type stuff. What is to like about that? Being fat sucks!

At my worst, just 2 months ago, I was 365 pounds. Really for the last 2 years I’ve been floating between 350 and 365. It HURT just getting up from a chair! Who wants to live like that? Me obviously. I HATED it but I was unwilling to do anything about it. Why? I guess I loved food more than being healthy and in shape.

What finally clicked? Why now? I'm still not sure but...

About 3 months ago work announced a team weight loss program. The whole company and then some would be competing. Of course I thought this was a complete joke as I went out for another pizza buffet where I had the equivalent of a whole pizza, 2/3 of a fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and OF COURSE some dessert pizza. I did this 3-4 times a week. WTF? What losers would participate in such a thing I thought. NOT ME! But then I was invited onto a team. A few other fatties at work thought my fat *kitten* would be a good fit on the team. Hey, I have A LOT to lose. I accepted the invitation. We talked. Then the oddest thing happened. I wanted it. Yes, I wanted to do well in the competition but I wanted a lot more than that. I wanted to stop being called: "tons of fun" and "big guy" and a whole host of other crap. Time to get serious.

And I have been. I’m down 30 pounds from my highest. The scale has been stuck for the last 2 weeks but my cloths continue to fit differently. I am eating better than I ever have in my life. I am exercising and working up my endurance. Maybe I’ve been replacing some fat with muscle and that is why the scale is stuck?? I’m not sure and honestly I really don’t care. I KNOW what I am doing is right. I feel better than I have in ages and I am focused. I know that if I feel as good as I do now at 335 pounds I’ll feel truly incredible at 190 pounds… someday.

Accountable
Honest
Focused
Unrelenting
One step after another

One step down on the thousand mile journey... ok, maybe two by now.

Replies

  • Tiamo719
    Tiamo719 Posts: 256 Member
    Good for you!! I love food too especially my ice cream.

    "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"

    Keep it up and don't get discouraged!
  • justcindy59
    justcindy59 Posts: 904 Member
    Nicely done, and well said. It took me 41 years to get to the place you are today. Keep up the good work..
  • LeonCX
    LeonCX Posts: 862 Member
    awesome post that I can relate to. thanks.
  • christhenix
    christhenix Posts: 163 Member
    Yep, you need to do this, and you gotta want to do this to succeed. Sounds to me you want it enough to do it.

    And we, as a community, are with you all the way buddy. :smile:
  • C5North
    C5North Posts: 50 Member
    You got this...you will have ups and downs over the next few years.. yes years.. . it is a journey.. and even when you are not where you want to be in the future.. you will almost certainly feel better than you did in the past...remembering that will help.. I have made progress weight wise (195 t0 140), changed goals (added weight through lifting to 152), slid backwards.. inched forward... slid backward (now up to 156 without gaining any appreciable muscle.. read added fat)... but even now.. the journey is a lifestyle.. you have embraced it so continue...

    Yep, this IS a journey. I'm NOT on a diet as many have asked me how my "diet" is going. Ther is NO DIET. Period. The path I'm on will be for the rest of my life, which I hope will be a long damn time. I was killing myself to be sure. Yeah, not as fast as a bullet to the head but killing myself nonetheless.

    I finally like the idea of being healthy more than I like food.
  • Strongandscrappy
    Strongandscrappy Posts: 1,735 Member
    It's amazing how honest you are with yourself. I love food too but I like feeling like this better. It's funny because every morning I remind myself of this fact. Everytime I want to overeat I think about how crappy I would feel afterwards. It's all about the right mindset and it sounds like you are there. Good luck in your journey Keep us posted!
  • ehunte
    ehunte Posts: 125 Member
    I love your honesty! Good luck on your journey to healthy.
  • icanplay3
    icanplay3 Posts: 173 Member
    Please be kind to yourself. Even though you weigh more than you would like to, you must treat yourself with love and respect. Calling yourself "fatass" "fatties" etc will bring you down subconsciously. You no doubt, like everyone else here, have amazing qualities and losing weight will just make you that much more awesome!! So please. Lose the negative self talk and rock on. You got this :bigsmile:
  • C5North
    C5North Posts: 50 Member
    Please be kind to yourself. Even though you weigh more than you would like to, you must treat yourself with love and respect. Calling yourself "fatass" "fatties" etc will bring you down subconsciously. You no doubt, like everyone else here, have amazing qualities and losing weight will just make you that much more awesome!! So please. Lose the negative self talk and rock on. You got this :bigsmile:

    Thanks. I know what you are saying. I truly do. But this works for me. This, to me, is simply the unabashed truth of my situation. Frankly it is fueling me. Make no mistake I do love myself. It is why I am finally going to be successful on this journey. I figure I have at the least a year and more realistically two years before I achieve my goal. I'm good with that.

    I'm fat. It sucks. But it is OK! I'm getting skinny and more importantly healthy. Step by step.
  • Guitarist4L1fe
    Guitarist4L1fe Posts: 31 Member
    Its funny I have been saying to myself and my wife. I do not want to love food too much. I will never again use it as recreation or reward only fuel. I do enjoy the taste of healthy food, and i log every calorie to make sure i stay accountable. I can not be trusted with food sad but true. Its a fact I will have to live with and I am good with that. Good Luck I am down almost 65 pounds in a little more then 3 months. If I can do it you certainly can Good Luck! You will actually love it when you are comfortable in your body again. I am.

    Mike
  • C5North
    C5North Posts: 50 Member
    Its funny I have been saying to myself and my wife. I do not want to love food too much. I will never again use it as recreation or reward only fuel. I do enjoy the taste of healthy food, and i log every calorie to make sure i stay accountable. I can not be trusted with food sad but true. Its a fact I will have to live with and I am good with that. Good Luck I am down almost 65 pounds in a little more then 3 months. If I can do it you certainly can Good Luck! You will actually love it when you are comfortable in your body again. I am.

    Mike

    Awesome! Way to go and sweet Tele. I have a few electric twangers hanging on the wall too.
  • radiosilents
    radiosilents Posts: 223 Member
    You and I are on what sounds like the exact same wavelength. Even similar weights! I started at 372 in May and I'm down to 329 now. It does feel good, doesn't it???

    At age 44 I just need to do this once and for all and so I have been working on finding the most sustainable way to do this – a lifelong way of eating and living. If you're interested, I have a blog: http://amytenpercent.blogspot.com

    Continued success to you!
  • roliph96
    roliph96 Posts: 4
    You are such an inspiration! It sounds like you have the right mindset to achieve your we right loss goal. Hang in there!
  • C5North
    C5North Posts: 50 Member
    You and I are on what sounds like the exact same wavelength. Even similar weights! I started at 372 in May and I'm down to 329 now. It does feel good, doesn't it???

    At age 44 I just need to do this once and for all and so I have been working on finding the most sustainable way to do this – a lifelong way of eating and living. If you're interested, I have a blog: http://amytenpercent.blogspot.com

    Continued success to you!

    Yep, pretty similar situation. I am doing the he same thing. Finding what is going to work for me for the rest of my life. I'm actually finding it to be a lot of fun.

    Congrats on your progress!

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