Parent's Cooking

LittleOldUnhealthyMe
LittleOldUnhealthyMe Posts: 18 Member
in Food and Nutrition
So I live at home with my parents, and although I have control during the weekdays, as I do not eat with them, on the weekends this control is taken away from me.
They cook a main meal on Saturdays and Sundays, which I have to eat with them. I don't get a say in what the meal is. I don't get a say in when the meal is.I have to eat whatever they give me, and I have to finish my plate completely. There is no other choice, so please don't suggest cooking for myself, or only eating part of it, or whatever. The problem is that I have been brought up my whole life knowing that I have to eat what's put in front of me, no matter what. (And it's not a matter of a simple argument, or my mother being 'disappointed' in me, or whatever. As far as she's concerned, I am eating everything on the plate no matter what. That's it.) And it doesn't exactly help that - to be frank - both my parents are fat. The meals are generally not as healthy as I would pick. I do not know what goes into the meals, and I do not know how many calories are in them.

And I just completely and utterly hate it. And completely and utterly resent my parents for it.

It's better than it used to be I suppose, when they used to force me to eat a main meal with them every day, and to have breakfast with them everyday (and I wasn't allowed to pick anything that took longer to make - so it always had to be cereal - and always cereal that my mother had chosen to buy.)

So my question, I guess, is what can I do? I'm longing for when I move out full time and no longer have to sacrifice any of my control. Is there anything I could do before then?

I just find it so hard to plan the rest of my day, eating wise, when there's this big gap of a meal where I don't know what's going to happen. How can I know how many calories I can eat in the rest of the day, if I don't know how many I'm going to be forced to consume with my parents? Even they don't seem to know what's for the meal until about five minutes before they start cooking it. And again, I don't know when it's going to be, so it just complicates everything.


Err, sorry for the rant there. :/ Any suggestions? I hate this so much, but there seems to be no way around it.

Replies

  • Maryam2014mfp
    Maryam2014mfp Posts: 174
    Can you help your Mum/Dad serve up the plates and thereby prepare your own plate, so you can manage what goes on it and in what quantity? If so, try this. If they comment it is not enough, you can always indicate that you will go back for seconds if you are hungry. At some point it may be helpful to talk about your goals with them; but it depends on your family dynamics and how well everyone communicates with each other. Take care.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    If you like the food, eat it. Eat what you put on your own plate. If someone else serves you, you're not obliged to finish it. If they force feed you, run away.
  • DaniellaB1995
    DaniellaB1995 Posts: 64 Member
    I kinda see where you're coming from, I live with my parents and eat with them most evenings. If you don't want to explain to them that you're trying to lose weight or just be healthy, or they won't listen, then try offering to help with the cooking, or just ask them what's in it so you can log it on here.

    Also try telling them you're just too full to eat more, tell them you're gonna chunder all over their table if you keep eating if you have to!
  • squishprincess
    squishprincess Posts: 371 Member
    oh man i hate parents that do that kinda thing. how old are you? seems a little ridiculous that they're forcing you to eat. i don't think they can honestly shovel food into your mouth that you didn't wanna eat, but i completely get what you're saying, avoiding confrontation and drama. really try to sit down and have a chat with them, and ask if you can help cook/help grocery shop and perhaps offer healthier suggestions. have you tried this? sorry if it does't work. i would hate to have a unruly adult down my throat telling me what i could/couldn't eat and i wouldn't be very nice about it... lol
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    You're 18 and your parents make you eat what you're told and finish everything? Wow. My parents worked shifts and at 18 I often had to make dinner for me, my brother and sister. We had salad a lot lol. Then I went to university.

    I have 3 kids. I don't make them finish their plates off, and we eat healthily anyway.

    Can't you ask them in the morning what dinner will be so you can plan the rest of the day? Or offer to help with dinner? Or suggest new recipes?

    What sort of things are they making that are so unhealthy?
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    They are completely crazy but there is nothing you can do about it for now. It is only two meals a week. Find ways to deal with those two days. Plan on eating small meals on the weekends to accommodate the calories in their two meals.
  • Boccellin
    Boccellin Posts: 137 Member
    I remember this problem from when I lived at home. I come from an Italian family, and my mother would literally start screaming bloody murder at me if she prepared an unhealthy dinner and I did not eat a large portion of it. At least you only have to deal with it for two meals a week. I solved it by being "busy" during meal times and cooking for myself later, and eventually by moving out.

    Can you perhaps eat lightly throughout the day for those two days, which would allow larger meals into your daily calories? Or, like others have said, plate your food yourself? Or maybe sit down and have a serious conversation with your parents? Maybe tell them about swapping some of the ingredients in the meals for lighter options? Express concern for their weights, since you said they are heavy too? If all else fails, you can just flat out refuse. I've done that, and yes, it started a fight. I dealt with it. They cannot force you to eat what they serve, you are an adult. As an adult, you have a right to disagree with your parents. The worst they can do is kick you out, but I highly doubt any parent would do that to their child over dinner.
  • ruqayyahsmum
    ruqayyahsmum Posts: 1,513 Member
    can you offer to take over cooking duties on one of the days? say you want to help give your parents a night off then its just the one meal a week you dont have control over

    i get the have to finish your plate thing, i grew up in a town where even the school dinner ladies wouldn't allow you up from the table until everything was eaten, it set a pattern of behavior that took me years to break
    can you insist on serving up for everyone again worded as your doing it to give your parents a rest since they cooked

    that way you get what you want and your parents dont get their feelings hurt

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