Feeling alone and frustrated!

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  • sandraeward
    sandraeward Posts: 28 Member
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    I now weigh the same as I did the day I had my youngest son.He's five...
    I sent you a friend request.
  • kkimpel
    kkimpel Posts: 303 Member
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    ssl

    It isn't easy, but you can do it. You're young. I have yoyo'd my whole life and my ex was the same.. for him love was sugar and fat .. I have worked since 2011 to finally meet my goal o 80 lbs .. now I'd like to go down about 5 more, but I'm ok if I don't .

    If you do this and maintain this NOW you will avoid all of the health issues, your body is young enough to recoup.. Talk to your family doctor, because your insurance may cover a visit to a nutritionist and/or diet program. Many insurances do now, because obesity is such a health problem.

    One day at a time.. one small goal at a time.

    What can you do today? Set a goal and do it. Then each time you set a goal, you will have more confidence in yourself. It will make the next goal more attainable.

    I started with just not stopping for fast food and walking down the block. I added a block a day then one day I decided to go a mile ... I added not stopping for fast food and bringing a healthy lunch every day. Now each day I leave the house with ALL of my food of the day in a bag... and I walk at least 5 miles a day, and most days those walks are on mountain trails. But I started 3 years ago, and failed a bit last year.. and had to get back on the bike again.

    You can do this, there is nothing special about me or my life that makes it easier.. Let me recommend this book to you

    Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You Paperback – March 4, 1998
    by Susan Forward (Author), Donna Frazier (Author)

    I read this book to help my stepdaughter .. but discovered that I also lived in fear obligation and guilt.. and because of it I loathed myself too much to be healthy .. I can't explain how my life changed, except to say it was one small goal at a time .. and one more block of self worth added to my empty store ..

    Good luck dear.. and feel free to add me
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
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    I am with you and I just started back also. I am also cigarette free for 15 days as of today after 22 years, All so I can be healthier for myself and my children. Hang in there we can do it :)

    Super congratulations on quitting the cigs! You are going to LOVE, LOVE,LOVE being a non-smoker. I quit 4 months ago and all I can say is I wish I had tried years before.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
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    There are many, many people here who have lost 100Ibs, and a fair few who have lost 200Ibs plus. If they can do it, so can you.
    The key is that this is NOT a diet. It needs to be a sustainable lifestyle change that you can maintain for life.
    It is when people make changes that are too extreme, too drastic, that things tend to go wrong and they give up.
    You need to stick with it, even at times when you get fed up or feel you have failed etc.
    If you have a bad day, move on from it and carry on, without using it as an excuse to just give up and go all out.
    Make gradual changes, and try to aim for 80% nutritious, healthy foods and the other 20% foods you love and do not want to give up, that might not be so healthy. Those with the best success here, seem to be those who continue to have a bit of chocolate, a bit of ice cream, a meal out here and there, but balanced within an overall healthy lifestyle.

    Try to not focus entirely on the scale, life goes on and you still have to keep living while doing this, so just see it as part of your new life, from this day on. If hubby brings home junk, ignore it, or just have a serving. He will soon get the message. And remind him that unless you lose weight, you stand the risk of not being with him as long as he might like.

    Gather a good group of friends here, for support and encouragement, and most of all, Never Give Up.
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
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    Well you've certainly come to the right place. Welcome back. :)

    One day at a time and one pound at a time. It IS doable.

    If you are dead set against going on a trip now, that is a great goal to set for later.

    :smile:
  • gmdaniel
    gmdaniel Posts: 44 Member
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    No you're not alone! We are all here on this journey.:heart:
  • Cloud2103
    Cloud2103 Posts: 3 Member
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    I am exactly that also and my youngest just turned 8.:indifferent:
  • joanthemom8
    joanthemom8 Posts: 375 Member
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    I don't have a lot of weight to lose (constantly battling the last 10 pounds) but my motivation for me was the same as yours: my kids. I'm an older mom - I had my youngest, my daughter, at age 38 and she's now 10. I wanted to be able to keep up with her (and my son, who's 16). I'm 48, I track my food everyday and I have incorporated exercise into my (almost) daily life. Began running at age 46 and ran my 1st 5K at 46. Last weekend my daughter and I ran a 5k together (she left me in the dust, LOL). We ride bikes together, go rollerskating, etc. My mom was the same age as I was when she had me and she alwasy stuck out as the oldest mom mostly because of her inactivity. That's one thing I didn't want to repeat.

    I have issues with my husband, too. He's never said he thought I needed to lose weight, but he actually gets annoyed when I try to watch what I eat. I do all of the shopping, so he doesn't bring "goodies" home, but we work together and he always (I mean every day) wants to go out to lunch. Even if I'm careful with what I eat, it's still hard..... but I have to take the ultimate responsibility for myself. So,sometimes I bring my own food to the office and just say "no" to him. Or if we do go to lunch, I just make up for it the rest of the day.

    Good luck to you. I'm going to send you a friend request too....I also like to have friends near my age.
  • Fsunami
    Fsunami Posts: 241 Member
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    The best place to begin is at the beginning.

    All you have to do is lose 1 pound 95 times. Not 95 pounds, all at once.

    That kick to get it done comes from inside....

    The fact you are reaching out and being honest about your struggle is a sign of growth and progress, for which you should be commended. Take comfort in that.

    The difference between MFP and everything else? If you adopt the mindset that its a lifestyle change & not a diet, the rest will fall into place.

    The past is done. The future will be here soon enough. Try and focus on today & today only. Its all we have to work with.

    4.5 months ago, I weighed 312 pounds. I woulda been dead in 5 years if I hadn't made this commitment. All signs were pointing that way.

    Just a few things the MFP tribe and common sense has taught me:

    1) This is a thing you DO, not a definition of who you ARE. Just like laundry. Take the emotion out of it wherever possible. I cannot stress this enough.

    2) My approach? This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. So there is no finite number of days that I am trying to get to. I will be logging in and logging food for the rest of my life, because:

    a) This program works
    b) I don't want to die young and I was headed that direction

    3) Try to remember - We are the results of the choices we make every day, whether those choices are good or bad. Make as many good choices as you can, and the ship will stay steady. At the end of the day, we are the man in the mirror. We are accountable to ourselves and no one else. We can help you with getting there, but the doing is up to you. Leave rationalizing at the door, and continue to be honest with yourself. Its the only path to long term success

    Cal tracking is considered a good choice (whether boring or not) because it tells you where you really are (just like your check register tells you your balance) - remember to be honest with yourself all the time. Ultimately, you will achieve that which you are seeking much sooner.

    Knowing that plus the support I get from my MFP buds make enough difference that Ive lost 39 in 139 days without doing anything stupid. You just find what works and then hammer the crap out of it, staying in the present while doing so.

    If you will stay committed to this, your MFP tribe will commit to helping. Why? Because that's what we do. And we have ALL been there.

    And? Id suggest going to Vegas. You only get one chance to live your life.

    FR on the way.

    Fsunami
  • allisonthompson6
    allisonthompson6 Posts: 19 Member
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    i understand completely! the lack of energy and missed opportunties is so frustrating. i seem to go good for a few days and then fizzle out, this time i've decided to reach out for support. best of luck on your journey, i can't wait to see your success milestones!
  • fire7ice
    fire7ice Posts: 23
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    Just think of it as losing 1-2 lbs a week. It might not sound much... but it soon adds up. Even if you don't lose one week... don't give up... the weight will shift eventually.

    With 52 weeks in a year: if you lose 1-2 lbs a week... in 3 months you could be 13 lbs-26 lbs lighter....in 6 months you could be 26 lbs-52 lbs lighter...in a year you could be 52 lbs-104 lbs lighter :) and happy to go off on trips with your husband.

    Yes, it is difficult trying to lose weight when other people around you are eating what they like.... but not impossible. My husband eats whatever he likes and isn't bothered about his weight but as I am bothered about my weight I recently restarted logging on MFP and am trying to eat healthy most of the time and treat myself a little now and again.

    Don't be too strict on yourself. If you eat healthy most of the time and allow yourself a little of what you like now and again (counting it into your daily calorie allowance) it may make it easier for you. If, as I read, most diets don't work and people put weight back on and more.... it makes sense to treat yourself along the way... then hopefully the weight will stay off longterm.

    Wish you success.
  • jeep2961
    jeep2961 Posts: 32 Member
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    Its nice that your husband wants to take you on a trip, but if he really wants to do something nice for you he should stop bringing home junk food. You need to sit him down and have an honest conversation on what you need from him to succeed, even thou your husband may not be overweight, all the junk food is still not healthy for him or your kids. Try to make it a family endeavor, try to make it fun for the kids whether asking them to help you prepare their favorite healthy meals, taking walks as a family after dinner, or grocery shopping together. Its important to have the food in the home to prepare for the week, i use an at home grocery delivery service from stop and shop, but other food stores have this service also, it only costs $6 for delivery, you order online and they deliver it, that way i always have the right foods snd dont get swayed by adding the junk food you see in the aisles when shopping, plus a real time saver as i work full time. I am no great cook, but the internet is great for searching healthy few ingredient easy tasty recipes that everyone will enjoy. The community is always here to turn to for support:-)
  • kagevf
    kagevf Posts: 509 Member
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    you can do it !

    woot woot !!!
  • leahkayl
    leahkayl Posts: 7 Member
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    Feel free to add me as one of your friends! I am a mother of two trying to lose the weight to be more active with my girls. They do grow up so fast and I don't want to miss out on anything. Good Luck!
  • mandz31
    mandz31 Posts: 19 Member
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    you can do this. you are not alone, having a great support network really does help, maybe express to your husband that you don't want him bringing back junk food to the house. Tell him how much it means to you to do this. There are lots of people who also want to lose 100 pounds, me included. I am ten weeks intro my journey and have already lost 32lbs. Just take it one day at a time and your brain will soon see that this is what you really want.
  • MyTurn2BHappy
    MyTurn2BHappy Posts: 475 Member
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    Feel free to add me! Changing your way of life to feel better and look better is so hard, I KNOW!! I'm working on it myself and just need to change my mindset! I'm so tired of being "fat" and need to get my *kitten* in gear!

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