Super Discouraged & Depressed
athelsel
Posts: 15
I'll try to make this as short as possible. Basically, I weighed 198 when I gave birth on August 26th. My third pregnancy, but the sweet baby girl belongs to my friend. I carried her baby for her, since she couldn't. Anyways, I began dieting on September 21st. I was 180. I immediately dropped down to 172 within a few days. This past Thursday, I went with a friend to an Adipex clinic, and got a prescription. The physician made me watch a half hour video & then coached me on how to go about dieting. She basically said I can eat whatever I want to, just don't go over 1200. So I started them, download the loseit! app, logged every single calorie and ate less than 1200 daily. I actually set my budget to 1000, and never exceeded it. I weighed myself on Saturday, 168.2. I have continued the same scenario and today weighed myself and I have gained weight. The scale said 170. How is this even freaking possible. I have not snacked, not cheated, didn't even come close to my calorie budget, and I managed to put more weight on? I am a wreck as it is, I know that I am unhealthily obsessive with my weight and trying to get thinner. I have cried all day long, I have no support really, my husband just says, "oh i love you how you are", (what happens when he doesn't? and it's not like he would just say, oh yeah I don't find you attractive anymore..) and he rolls his eyes anytime i try to mention my diet and or calorie counting, etc. I have a couple friends who are trying to lose, but they aren't serious as I am, they say they will join me in my journey, but continually put it off. So I researched and apparently if I don't eat enough I can gain? or not lose? I just have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I finally got the drive and willpower to do it and do it right, and it seems i've overdone it somehow. I can't win. help. 
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Replies
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First take a deep breath and breathe
weight can flucuate from day to day, that is why it is wise to weigh only once a week. Also are you getting enough water? Give your body time it will respond? Have you been exercising maybe putting on some muscle weight? There can be many reasons for a couple pounds in just a couple days difference. 0 -
TOO FEW CALORIES...your body is conserving all its energy it thinks its staaarving. go back and try it with 1200 calories - 3 meals a day with a snack or even two snacks as long as you don't go over 1200 calories.0
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There are always fluctuations in scale weight. Depending on hormones, sodium, workout, etc, your scale weight can vary quite a bit. As long as you are weighing your food and know you're at a calorie deficit you will lose weight. Weight loss is not linear. You could always take measurements and check them weekly/monthly. Also take pictures because you will be able to see the difference better in photos. I was looking at photos that were 6 weeks apart. I have only lost 6 lbs between them but the difference is significant. Hang in there and the weight will come off. Just don't expect super fast weight loss and take it one day at a time.0
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First, you need to be patient. You made a good choice coming here, and this tool and the people here can help you figure this out and if you stick with it you will get back to your healthy weight range. Yes, 1200 is too low. If you eat more it will be healthier and more sustainable.
Trust your hubby, you did a wonderful thing for your friend and there are so many things that make people attractive. Be gentle with yourself and stick with it
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Unfortunately our bodies don't like to be deprived and they go to great lengths to hold on to calories. When you eat less than 1000 calories, your body wants to hold on to those calories. Are you eating frequently? That helps the metabolism. Cardio and light weight lifting or exercises like squats help to tone the body while burning calories. I like Zumba, it's only 20 mins and burns alot of calories. I'm 185 right now and 6 months ago I was 150, so I know how you feel about the weight. Stay positive, believe me your mood can effect how you eat and how you lose weight. Try not to go to hard, too fast. 1200 calories a day with light cardio and strength training should help you get to your goal. Be consistent and don't give up. 0
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1st: what you did for your friend was awesome and commendable.
2nd: take a huge step back. breathe. and realize that the scale is not your master.
3rd: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here0 -
I wouldnt worry. Consistency is the key. I think your intake is too small but thats your choice. Also, I wouldnt go with eat what you want over eating healthy. Your body is retaining water thats all. You gave your body 9 months to get where your at. Give it time to get where its going!0
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If I could reach thru cyberspace and give you a hug, I would!! :flowerforyou:
With all the work you've done, please try your best not to focus on the scale!! For women, the scale is the devil :devil:
I agree pretty much with what everyone else has posted!!
If you're active...then you've gotta eat!!! Even tho that sounds crazy, it's sooooo true....shoot, any nutritionist, personal trainer, or other fitness professional will tell you to feed your body....healthy, good stuff however LOL, but you've gotta feed yourself!!
Good luck to you!!
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It still cracks me up when people use the "you're in starvation mode" crap. LOL. Study physics people.
Anyways, water retention is probably all it is, especially when you said "eat what ever you want". If you eat the wrong things, sometimes you don't use the bathroom regularly and sometimes there's too much salt in certain things which will then cause you to retain water.0 -
Eating less than 1200 calories isn't just not so good for you but the lack calories can actually make you gain weight. I know you want the weight off and you want it off as fast as you can get it but breathe! I would try eating between 1200 and 1300 calories a day and slow down a bit. Weight loss overtime sticks! Just believe in yourself. You will have bad days, you will have random gains, but just keep going.0
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1st: what you did for your friend was awesome and commendable.
2nd: take a huge step back. breathe. and realize that the scale is not your master.
3rd: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here
All. Of. This.0 -
I have no support really, my husband just says, "oh i love you how you are", (what happens when he doesn't? and it's not like he would just say, oh yeah I don't find you attractive anymore..) and he rolls his eyes anytime i try to mention my diet and or calorie counting, etc. I have a couple friends who are trying to lose, but they aren't serious as I am, they say they will join me in
You have no support? One interpretation is DH is probably telling the truth, and rolls his eyes because he is frustrated you don't believe him. My DW is the same way - she loves me, she just is not interested in hearing about calories and exercise and such. If the friends are not serious, wish them well, ooh and ahh over them occasionally, and continue on YOUR path.
See if you can convince your primary care physician to write a referral to a registered dietitian. MDs traditionally have a sketchy background in nutrition. I have read more than a few post where MDs set a daily limit of 1200 calories. It seems to be a one-size-fits-all magic number. It does not take into account you, your cultural eating habits, or your activity level.
Keep logging your food and exercise. It can be valuable information for any professional assessment and it can keep you honest.
-- edit --
Info about Adipex:
Phentermine is used along with a doctor-approved, reduced-calorie diet, exercise, and behavior change program to help you lose weight. It is used in people who are significantly overweight (obese) and have not been able to lose enough weight with diet and exercise alone. http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-4899/adipex-p-oral/details
IMO, a half-hour video is NOT a behavior change program. if that truly is all the info and no followup, the MD is remiss in his actions.
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I'm just gonna leave this right here.
Read these:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1217573-so-you-want-to-start-running
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13
TL:DR the link right above this one then ->http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet
Excuses??? http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2014/06/02/the-no-excuses-play-like-a-champion-challenge/
If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal
Want to lift heavy things?
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/
Stronglifts Summary
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary
Stronglifts Womens Group
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/4601-stronglifts-5x5-for-women0 -
Thanks everyone. Immediately a little better.
I ate healthy mostly anyways, tons of grilled chicken, my fave! and only drank water.
Its just hard!
I just have a horrible self image and I want rid of this weight now.
I feel so disgusting..
So is the starvation mode thing really false? Because if so I feel like I shouldn't have gained weight back, and also that would kind of be a relief because on this adipex, you really don't have an interest in eating. Like yesterday, I ate a piece of toast, and nothing the rest of the day until around 8 when i forced myself to eat a chicken sandwich from burger king because I read that I needed 1200 or I'd gain. UHH. its so hard!0 -
just to throw something out there. this is just opinion and feel no need to listen but this is what I am doing. I am setting a positive fitness goal for myself which does not involve my weight. For me, my goal is to do a triathalon in early 2015. While i do check my weight once a week it is not my goal. It gets me out of my head if i am tracking weight constantly because it does fluctuate, but when i can run a couple of miles in my goal time i am pumped - and that doesn't fluctuate based on how much water i drink. We have three kids so it's tough but my wife and i take turns watching them to give each other time to go workout. I still count calories etc. but everything isn't based on that.0
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I'll try to make this as short as possible. Basically, I weighed 198 when I gave birth on August 26th. My third pregnancy, but the sweet baby girl belongs to my friend. I carried her baby for her, since she couldn't. Anyways, I began dieting on September 21st. I was 180. I immediately dropped down to 172 within a few days. This past Thursday, I went with a friend to an Adipex clinic, and got a prescription. The physician made me watch a half hour video & then coached me on how to go about dieting. She basically said I can eat whatever I want to, just don't go over 1200. So I started them, download the loseit! app, logged every single calorie and ate less than 1200 daily. I actually set my budget to 1000, and never exceeded it. I weighed myself on Saturday, 168.2. I have continued the same scenario and today weighed myself and I have gained weight. The scale said 170. How is this even freaking possible. I have not snacked, not cheated, didn't even come close to my calorie budget, and I managed to put more weight on? I am a wreck as it is, I know that I am unhealthily obsessive with my weight and trying to get thinner. I have cried all day long, I have no support really, my husband just says, "oh i love you how you are", (what happens when he doesn't? and it's not like he would just say, oh yeah I don't find you attractive anymore..) and he rolls his eyes anytime i try to mention my diet and or calorie counting, etc. I have a couple friends who are trying to lose, but they aren't serious as I am, they say they will join me in my journey, but continually put it off. So I researched and apparently if I don't eat enough I can gain? or not lose? I just have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I finally got the drive and willpower to do it and do it right, and it seems i've overdone it somehow. I can't win. help.
168.2 to 170 isn't necessarily a gain, hon. I have poops that have weighed more than that. You need to look at an extended period of time to determine success or failure. You've only been at this for a week or so - it takes time to get into the swing of things.
You also gave birth just over a month ago - your body and your hormones are going to need time to settle, too. It took me around 8 weeks to get rid of all the excess water in my body with my first birth.
I'd start by figuring our your BMR (someone posted good links above) and then figure out what your calorie intake should be. Take control of this - and be an active participant in your loss. If you want to take pills, that's up to you - but as someone who was given them by a doctor, I'd stay away. You don't them to succeed.
You can do this - and you have the support of people here, too. You just need some patience and to be kinder to yourself.0 -
wait it's been a month since you had the baby? good lord. Your body is still holding to all the fat and stuff to breastfeed, EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT. Take it slow and throw some exercise in there instead of just cutting food out. I can't believe you got a prescription at that weight...I also can't believe the "doctor" told you what you eat won't matter. There's no easy fix, you spent nine months making a baby, ditch the pills, ditch the calorie counter, eat healthy choices, reasonable amounts, only when you're hungry, start walking or whatever you can handle and build up as you heal.0
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You should just calm down because you are being obsessed with losing weight and i don't want you causing danger to yourself. If you keep watching the scale of course its going to seem like you're not losing weight. Its like watching the clock and it seems like time is not going any faster which it isn't. you should diet with out thinking about losing weight and just do what you think is best light work outs throughout the day or after each meal. but don't stress over you losing weight that's not healthy at all I hope i helped. 0
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I've been on myfitness pal for over a month and have not lost one pound. It's starting to piss me off.0
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I'll try to make this as short as possible. Basically, I weighed 198 when I gave birth on August 26th. My third pregnancy, but the sweet baby girl belongs to my friend. I carried her baby for her, since she couldn't. Anyways, I began dieting on September 21st. I was 180. I immediately dropped down to 172 within a few days. This past Thursday, I went with a friend to an Adipex clinic, and got a prescription. The physician made me watch a half hour video & then coached me on how to go about dieting. She basically said I can eat whatever I want to, just don't go over 1200. So I started them, download the loseit! app, logged every single calorie and ate less than 1200 daily. I actually set my budget to 1000, and never exceeded it. I weighed myself on Saturday, 168.2. I have continued the same scenario and today weighed myself and I have gained weight. The scale said 170. How is this even freaking possible. I have not snacked, not cheated, didn't even come close to my calorie budget, and I managed to put more weight on? I am a wreck as it is, I know that I am unhealthily obsessive with my weight and trying to get thinner. I have cried all day long, I have no support really, my husband just says, "oh i love you how you are", (what happens when he doesn't? and it's not like he would just say, oh yeah I don't find you attractive anymore..) and he rolls his eyes anytime i try to mention my diet and or calorie counting, etc. I have a couple friends who are trying to lose, but they aren't serious as I am, they say they will join me in my journey, but continually put it off. So I researched and apparently if I don't eat enough I can gain? or not lose? I just have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I finally got the drive and willpower to do it and do it right, and it seems I've overdone it somehow. I can't win. help.
In 9 days you lost more than 11 pounds. It took me 3 months to do that. It is common in the beginning to lose rapidly (especially post-partum) but from here on in you shouldn't expect to lose more than 2 lbs/week at the most. Probably less given your starting point. Give it time.0 -
I've been on myfitness pal for over a month and have not lost one pound. It's starting to piss me off.
If you opened your diary and shared a bit of information about yourself (current weight, goal weight, height) I'm sure people would try to help.0 -
Thanks everyone. Immediately a little better.
I ate healthy mostly anyways, tons of grilled chicken, my fave! and only drank water.
Its just hard!
I just have a horrible self image and I want rid of this weight now.
I feel so disgusting..
So is the starvation mode thing really false? Because if so I feel like I shouldn't have gained weight back, and also that would kind of be a relief because on this adipex, you really don't have an interest in eating. Like yesterday, I ate a piece of toast, and nothing the rest of the day until around 8 when i forced myself to eat a chicken sandwich from burger king because I read that I needed 1200 or I'd gain. UHH. its so hard!
A big portion of your initial weightloss was probably water weight and that will come and go. ETA. Also certain days of the week and times of day you will weigh more than others. I weigh the most on Monday's and usually my lowest weight is Thursday. And there can be a 5 pound difference--usually not fat related, but water weight and digestion factors all play into it. Keep your weighing consistant, compare only same time of day same day of week weights to each other--For example, every Monday at 8 am, before breakfast after bathroom. Not daily fluctuations.0 -
You are a SWEET HEART for helping your friend! First know that it takes about 6 weeks for your uterus to involute.. get back to its normal size, plus hormones are flying all over the place readjusting so this is all playing into what your results are along with the fact that since the doctor said "eat anything just don't go over 1200".. we don't really know what you are choosing, so if it is not "balanced" your body may be doing all it can to conserve this or that. Water retention with and after pregnancy is a big thing, also dehydration at the cell level even though the tissues are over hydrated.
BREATHE like everyone says, give yourself a kiss for being so kind and then turn this kindness to yourself. I think you said something about a medication in your post? If so, check the side effects, all that is happening can be contributed to by this med. Eat a little more, keep your proteins, carbs and fats balanced and know that you have a lot of support here0 -
I agree with most of the advice here. Bump up your calories a bit, try some light exercise to balance the increase in calories and stay off the scale for a few days because the daily fluctuations can drive you crazy. Good luck, believe your husband when he says you look great and enjoy what sounds like a great life you have with your 2 children. Stay strong, you will lose the weight.0
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Maybe you need to talk to someone. You have very unrealistic expectations and don't seem to deal with the disappointment well. Get your head in the right space before you worry about anything else. Most people don't gain weight overnight, so don't expect to lose it overnight. I weigh a fair bit more than you, and while I've lost 46lbs it's not been a smooth downward. Even the last two weeks I have gained and lost the same 3lbs repeatedly, and I haven't "cheated" or eaten anything different or more than I normally would. Last week I was sick, and ate probably less than 400 cals 3 days in a row, and I gained weight. Go figure.
Bottom line is, it's going to take time. Some days you'll gain and some days you'll lose. Too bad. As long as the overall trend is going the right way. And eat more. There is no point being crazy strict to lose a heap of weight that you will only put back on again if you "return to normal eating". Eat now how you plan to eat for the rest of your life, not how you plan to eat to lose a heap of weight in a short period of time. That's called yoyo dieting.0 -
I just sent you a FR so we can talk one on one, but 1000 cals is not near enough unless you're about 4'9 and even then it may not be enough. You did a beautiful thing by being a surrogate so please see that beauty within yourself b/c there are many woman out there who would not go through all of that for a friend.
Also, take it from someone who has been maintaining her weight loss the whole time you've been alive, weigh in once per week, same time, same circumstance, and NO MORE. Your sanity will thank you for it!0 -
Usually Id agree that the initial weight that is lost is water weight, and it all goes down slowly from there... But thats the body under normal circumstances... You just had a baby a month ago, and your body is still going through hormonal and biological changes that sooo do not apply to standard weight loss of someone who didnt just have a baby.
Based on my experience, and what Ive been able to gather from talking to others is this... If you ate healthy during your pregnancy (and did not "eat for two" or see the world as your buffet during pregnancy) then as your body adjusts back from doing what it needs to do to support another life, you will lose the weight no problem.
During my pregnancy, even though I ate healthy and kept active, I had gained 60lbs by the time I was in my 9th month. When my mom saw me, she freaked out and when I said it was pregnancy weight, she actually laughed at me and said she can't wait to see my 60lb baby. Anyway, I didnt even try for doing anything until kiddo was a month old, and then after that, I would jsut go for walks with her a couple times a day. Nothing major, super slow casual walks with a stroller. I went back to work a month after that, and at my weigh in, I had lost nearly 50lbs...I lost the last ten, plus some, by the next month.
Of women Ive talked to who have had babies, those who ate right lost the weight within a few months... The thing to keep in mind, is that after a woman has given birth (given she did not overeat and overindulge during her pregnancy) the extra weight is not fat, they did not get to that weight out of neglect of their diet...they got to that weight because of what the body is naturally doing to sustain and grow new life. Once that part of its job is over, and after some time when it realizes youre not breastfeeding, then it will naturally work to revert back to pre-pregnancy mode, which means shedding of all the fluids, water, additional blood, all of the fun stuff it retains to maintain a pregnancy and nourish a child afterwards, it doesnt need anymore so it gets rid of it.
So please dont get discouraged or depressed...you just need to give your body time to readjust..you just did this whole miraculous thing, your body just went through a 9 month adventure. So give it some time to come off that ride and go back to what it was doing before you got pregnant. If you stress yourself out too much then thats just going to wreck havoc on your already havoc wrecked hormones and make it that much harder. Eat right, stay active, and give nature a fighting chance to do what its supposed to do.
And I second the reaching through the interwebs to give you hugs!!!0
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