Laughing about my belly

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Lizz_a
Lizz_a Posts: 2
in Motivation and Support
There is one guy i like. I tried to seduce him and kinda succeeded - he asked me on a date (i agreed of course).

Our date took place at the beach. So i was wearing my bikini, and we were playing beach volleyball one-on-one. And then he found very amusing how my belly jiggled & bounced when i was running and jumping for the ball! He just started to laugh and tease me about my belly! I felt completely ashamed. But he kinda didn't notice that and continued to tease me about it. In that situation i had no better idea than pretend that i find it entertaining too. But i didn't fell comfortable at all. I know that my body is not perfect, i have kinda girls beer-belly. But it is the last thing i want to hear from the mouth of the guy.

The thing is that he is asking me on another date. How you would advise me to react in that situation?

Replies

  • 1pjah7
    1pjah7 Posts: 24 Member
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    I haven't posted before but when I saw this, I felt I had to. It's a red flag. Anyone who ridicules your body isn't someone you want to be with. Laughing and teasing about someone's flaws is very passive aggressive and it only gets worse the more you allow it. Why would you want to be with someone who makes you ashamed of yourself? When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Don't ignore the red flags you see early in a relationship.
  • squishprincess
    squishprincess Posts: 371 Member
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    um i def wouldn't go on a 2nd date and i'd let him know why. he didn't care about hurting your feelings, intentional or not (who cares if he was 'just teasing'), so why should you care about putting an end to your dates dead stop. no one should make you feel bad about yourself!
  • abusybeemommy
    abusybeemommy Posts: 2
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    Run baby run!
  • Pikacu90
    Pikacu90 Posts: 13 Member
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    I have a friend whose boyfriend teased her about her weight before they got together, and he still does. Even though she's skinny now. He seems like a nice guy, but she's really taking it seriously. So, depends if you're willing to put up with that, but I suggest you politely tell him that his comments are bothering you.
  • Lizz_a
    Lizz_a Posts: 2
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    I talked to my friend and she said that i should definitely say "yes" because either he is into me so much, he doesn't care about my belly, or he really likes my belly.
    So what if i go to the date and then, if he start to tease me about my belly again, just say that it makes me uncomfortable?
  • squishprincess
    squishprincess Posts: 371 Member
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    i would tell him BEFORE your next date (personally i wouldn't feel that i'd want to go on the 2nd date, do you like him that much?) and explain what made you uncomfortable/feel crummy and why. even if his jest was innocent, it'd really speak about his character if he apologises or not..
  • ThePhoenixIsRising
    ThePhoenixIsRising Posts: 781 Member
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    I'm calling troll.

    You joined a fitness site and your first post is about this? If you want dating advice I would think you would go to a dating site. If you want help changing your diet or setting fitness goals that will get you to the body you want, this is where you post.
  • machinistgoalie
    machinistgoalie Posts: 17
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    It indicates several things about him. A previous post nailed it about being passive aggressive. To that I'd add insecure, immature and totally oblivious to things like decorum and other people's feelings.

    And your friend sees this as a guy "being so into you"? I am male, I am 38, so perhaps my opinion is skewed by age here. But I'd hope this dude is younger than that, and has yet to learn the finer nuances of how to treat a woman. But if this is standard operating procedure for younger men- all I can offer is my condolences.

    Do not give this asshat a second more of your time.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    How old are you?
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    What I would do first and foremost is let him know him teasing you about your belly hurt your feelings and made you feel ashamed. You shouldn't have to be put through that. See how he reacts, he probably did not mean it in a malicious way, he probably isn't a nasty bloke. If he apologises and is genuinely sorry, and you feel right, go for a second date, if not, then don't bother. There are other fish in the sea.

    EDIT: Also, let him know you are going on a journey with MFP and at least you are trying to improve yourself. Let him know he must support you and respect you like you deserve, which means no further joking about your body whatsoever. Boys tend to act like this naturally, and sometimes, which I think is this case, they don't get girls think differently and are more insecure about their bodies and they don't realise they go too far.
  • Chickaboo2014
    Chickaboo2014 Posts: 136 Member
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    Really? Are you 11 years old? Or are you that needy? If you are an adult, put your big girl pants on and move on. :drinker:
  • MoveitlikeManda
    MoveitlikeManda Posts: 846 Member
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    Id like to meet this Adonis, he must be bloody amazing to look at if you actually want to go on a second date with him after he spent your first date taking the p!ss out of you.
    either that or you need some counciling to help you understand you dont need a man as badly as you seem to think.

    dont listen to your mate, she is pushing you in to a relationship that could be awful, abusive even!!
    If this had happened to me I know my mates wuld be telling me to stay clear, and would probably have a few things to say to him too

    "he must be really in to you" <<<< if this was the case he would have spent your first date telling you how great you looked in your bikini not teasing you about how you body looks.

    QUESTION......... if you only had one arm, went on a date and he kept teasing you about it would you go on a second date?
    ANSWER...... no? didnt think so
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
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    I'm calling troll.

    You joined a fitness site and your first post is about this? If you want dating advice I would think you would go to a dating site. If you want help changing your diet or setting fitness goals that will get you to the body you want, this is where you post.
    +1
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Interesting first date. You should have handle it right there but maybe you like him so much to let him talk to you in any typa way. Now you want to go on a second date so he can continue to talk to you however he feels regards of your own feelings.
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member
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    I'm calling troll.

    You joined a fitness site and your first post is about this? If you want dating advice I would think you would go to a dating site. If you want help changing your diet or setting fitness goals that will get you to the body you want, this is where you post.
    +1
    +2
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    I'm calling troll.

    You joined a fitness site and your first post is about this? If you want dating advice I would think you would go to a dating site. If you want help changing your diet or setting fitness goals that will get you to the body you want, this is where you post.
    How's this trolling?
  • ThePhoenixIsRising
    ThePhoenixIsRising Posts: 781 Member
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    I'm calling troll.

    You joined a fitness site and your first post is about this? If you want dating advice I would think you would go to a dating site. If you want help changing your diet or setting fitness goals that will get you to the body you want, this is where you post.
    How's this trolling?
    Going to a fitness site to post dating drama centered around a weight or image issue isn't trolling? Especially when it is their first post, and all the post is about, is the dating question "should I go out with him again!?!?"

    Please tell me you see it for what it is!
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    There is one guy i like. I tried to seduce him and kinda succeeded - he asked me on a date (i agreed of course).

    Our date took place at the beach. So i was wearing my bikini, and we were playing beach volleyball one-on-one. And then he found very amusing how my belly jiggled & bounced when i was running and jumping for the ball! He just started to laugh and tease me about my belly! I felt completely ashamed. But he kinda didn't notice that and continued to tease me about it. In that situation i had no better idea than pretend that i find it entertaining too. But i didn't fell comfortable at all. I know that my body is not perfect, i have kinda girls beer-belly. But it is the last thing i want to hear from the mouth of the guy.

    The thing is that he is asking me on another date. How you would advise me to react in that situation?

    So...you're self conscious about your weight but felt okay to wear a revealing bathing suit?

    You claim to have a beer belly, and be self conscious about your figure, but....felt okay to wear a revealing bathing suit?

    You ALLOWED someone to make fun of you and are considering giving him the opportunity to do it again?

    Either you're a troll or you're a talking carpet.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    I'm calling troll.

    You joined a fitness site and your first post is about this? If you want dating advice I would think you would go to a dating site. If you want help changing your diet or setting fitness goals that will get you to the body you want, this is where you post.
    +1
    +2
    +3
    Seriously??? If this were true, the fact that you would consider a second date, says you have bigger issues than a beer gut.

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