"Dieting" moms with teenage daughters

emilytaylo
emilytaylo Posts: 7 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I was just wondering how other moms handle "dieting" with teenage daughters. I don't think I ever use the word "diet" but talk a lot about making healthy choices. My girls are both average size but I have not been a great example of being active and eating right. I don't want to over emphasize weight (my weight my loss, gain, etc), especially during teenage years while they are so sensitive to body image, but I do want to emphasize healthy choices to give them a good foundation.

I honestly am not in search of a specific weight or dress size. I love being able to be more active & play longer & harder with my kids. I try to point out those changes & not the size of my waist but I do get excited about seeing physical changes too. I wonder if the physical change speaks louder than the health benefits?

Any suggestions to help this mom get healthy & teach her daughter's to safely do the same?

Replies

  • chadya07
    chadya07 Posts: 627 Member
    as someone who was once a daughter, whos mom wa always talking diets and never for health reasons, only for vanity, and then gave HUGE portion sizes with every meal and big bowls of ice cream every single night...

    i was very mistaken about priorities around food with all these conflicting things. i ate a lot of food, hated my body, and thought the only solution was dieting, which meant starving (my mom still... i went to visit her last month and she kept saying, you dont have to use your calories just because you have them, she thinks weight loss has to mean no food)

    so from the perspective of an ex teenage girl, you are on the right track by not saying diet, learning to eat right and serving proper portions to everyone, not having a size goal but a health goal, and leading by example.

    also i want to add i am not blaming my mom, she did raise me on an organic farm, raised me loving vegetables, and so on. its just around weight she had old fashioned ideas and came from a time when things were just different. and the conflicting ideas... i had issues with obsession and compulsion that arent her fault either... its just i never gained an idea of what a reasonably portioned plate looked like, and thought weight was all that mattered and that starvation was the only alternative.
  • carlyhaycraft3
    carlyhaycraft3 Posts: 2 Member
    You should check out this book: Overcoming Overeating. It has some tips on people who had mother's that focused on diets a lot and messed up their kids view of how they should eat, how they perceived their body and has some fantastic information. I know the description says breaking the diet/binge cycle but even if you don't binge or anything the book is just relevant for anyone! I've lost about 5 lbs so far (~ a week and a half) - judging by how my clothes feel/looking in the mirror and I feel much better physically. It also helped immensely with my body hate and putting myself down constantly, I didn't even realize how much I did it! Trust me on this one. I am in no way associated with this book. I just bought it because I was looking for a different book and stumbled upon this and thought "what the heck, might as well." I am thankful everyday for mistyping that search for the other book lol. This is a long term solution not a quick fix though, so keep that in mind.

    Overcoming Overeating: How to Break the Diet/Binge Cycle and Live a Healthier, More Satisfying Life – December 13, 2010
    by Jane R. Hirschmann (Author), Carol H. Munter (Author)

    This is a fantastic book and distinguishes the difference between mouth hunger and stomach hunger. It is very inspiring and encouraging and promotes loving and caring for your body. It has helped me so much! The topics are something I used to know when I dropped about 50 lbs and was a very healthy and active weight but then I got in an abusive relationship and forgot all of my natural eating habits.

    I was so happy to find this book to reinforce what I used to know and am dropping weight quickly again but in a healthy way without feeling deprived at all. This book is honestly a game changer and a life changer. I really hope you read it. It's able to be purchased for kindle as well so if you have a smart phone you can download the kindle app and read it on your phone!
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    My youngest is about to turn 13 and I also have a 14 year old daughter. I make it clear that my goals are health & fitness, and that I've monitored my calorie count because of years of being inactive, eating poorly. I encourage them to be active, to eat plenty of fruits & veggies. But I don't severely limit other foods.
  • Shauna2626
    Shauna2626 Posts: 196 Member
    You should check out this book: Overcoming Overeating. It has some tips on people who had mother's that focused on diets a lot and messed up their kids view of how they should eat, how they perceived their body and has some fantastic information. I know the description says breaking the diet/binge cycle but even if you don't binge or anything the book is just relevant for anyone! I've lost about 5 lbs so far (~ a week and a half) - judging by how my clothes feel/looking in the mirror and I feel much better physically. It also helped immensely with my body hate and putting myself down constantly, I didn't even realize how much I did it! Trust me on this one. I am in no way associated with this book. I just bought it because I was looking for a different book and stumbled upon this and thought "what the heck, might as well." I am thankful everyday for mistyping that search for the other book lol. This is a long term solution not a quick fix though, so keep that in mind.

    Overcoming Overeating: How to Break the Diet/Binge Cycle and Live a Healthier, More Satisfying Life – December 13, 2010
    by Jane R. Hirschmann (Author), Carol H. Munter (Author)

    This is a fantastic book and distinguishes the difference between mouth hunger and stomach hunger. It is very inspiring and encouraging and promotes loving and caring for your body. It has helped me so much! The topics are something I used to know when I dropped about 50 lbs and was a very healthy and active weight but then I got in an abusive relationship and forgot all of my natural eating habits.

    I was so happy to find this book to reinforce what I used to know and am dropping weight quickly again but in a healthy way without feeling deprived at all. This book is honestly a game changer and a life changer. I really hope you read it. It's able to be purchased for kindle as well so if you have a smart phone you can download the kindle app and read it on your phone!

    Yes!!! I also highly recommend this book.
  • fanceegirl75
    fanceegirl75 Posts: 620 Member
    I'm very open with my daughter who is 14 about my eating, exercise and desire to lose weight. She has at times been brutally honest with me when she's noticed I've gained weight and on the flip side of that when I'm showing progress. I do feel lucky because she's open to eating what I eat so that helps a great deal with me cooking and eating healthier.
  • salgal33
    salgal33 Posts: 49 Member
    A very good analogy I have heard is looking at your life in 4 quarters - like a football or basketball game.

    The best conditioned athletes can play a strong 4th quarter. But you must play a smart first half. Stay aggressive, pace yourself.
    Enter the 3rd quarter winning the game.

    Do not become complacent. Injuries and illnesses take longer to recover the older you get. Stay physically fit and you mend much quicker

    At 47, I feel as though I am just entering my 3rd quarter. I wish I had played the first half game of life a little smarter. I would be in better physical and financial shape. Neither are terrible, but I wonder how much better it would be if I had heeded advice at 20?
  • myheartsabattleground
    myheartsabattleground Posts: 2,040 Member
    Why would I DIEt ?
  • emilytaylo
    emilytaylo Posts: 7 Member
    Thank you so much for your replies. I will check out the book mentioned. My mom was also dieting often (extreme calorie restriction or fad diets) and when they didn't last more than a few weeks it was back to the "same old" stuff. She is the greatest mom, just one area she struggled with that I picked up too. (My parents actually introduced me to MFP after they each lost 50-70 pounds & have kept it off over 2 years.)

    I liked the "4 quarters" idea (though I don't know sports :) ) I just know how much I want to be around for my children & future grandchildren. I want to be able to play & not just be a "rocking chair gma".

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