My weight struggle
Mz_Bea
Posts: 1
In the last 4 months or so, I believe I have reached my ultimately highest weight. I just let myself be driven and led by food... It was pretty much my most therapeutic treatment. I have to admit, I am a very emotional eater, and during the time I gained that weight, I was emotionally wrecked. I look at myself in the mirror and just wonder; "why am doing this to myself?" I've become a whole other person under layers of skin, painful layers of skin that mostly reminds me of every bad moment that I went through. I really don't want to be that kinda person who'd throw it all and blame it on problems or sadness, I did this to myself and I definitely shouldn't have, I shouldn't have depended on food to get over the bad times, because I didn't realize I was only hurting myself by doing that. Food's become an addiction, that I honestly cannot control myself every time I see or smell it. I don't wanna be controlled by food anymore and I definitely don't want to put on anymore weight. Earlier today when I was changing my clothes, I've seen the dramatic changes on my body and how much I've gained a lot of weight in such a really short time... It was my wake up call! I know I have a lot to change, but I'm more than willing to get this done completely. From now on, I've decided I'm going to change, and I will. I highly believe in myself, I just need to stay motivated and focused on my upcoming goals. I want to be the woman I really am... Beautiful, smart, happy and healthy... I want to make better choices for my future, because I really don't want to end up being an obese, miserable and unhealthy person who'd probably die before time. I realize it's not going to be easy and that I'll pretty much go through a lot to get things done, but I believe in myself and I know that if I went to God and sought his all mighty's help, he won't let me down. So guys, please help me with any tips, support or motivation! I'd really love to stay motivated so I can reach my goals!
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Replies
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I hear you loud and clear. I've gained all my weight back and then some more. I have no confidence in myself and I'm miserable. I've also turned to food for comfort. I've gained the weight I lost in the last 6 months. Would you like to become friends and we can help each other on this journey? If you'd like add me!0
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Just sent you a friend request. Your post really mirrored a lot of my situation. The first and most important thing you can do is love yourself NOW, don't decide that you will love yourself when you're rocking your goal weight, but right now- who you are, as you are, in your current body. Appreciate the good parts of your body and accept the parts you don't love, but love your whole self. Realize, unfortunately, this is not always an easy process but ultimately very worth it. On one hand, I feel hypocritical offering any advice because I am not even two weeks in, but on the other hand, in those two weeks I have had all kinds of personal successes and am happy to motivate anyone just starting. I lost a few pounds my first week (of water weight I assume) and am feeling better, have more energy through the day, am drinking less coffee and not having caffeine withdrawal headaches anymore, and while I can't say I'm never hungry, I can say I don't have specific cravings anymore, which is awesome for me! Yesterday, I had a "bad" day - I ate fried chicken tenders and French fries and ranch and honey mustard and ketchup and miller lite (no excuse, but I was at a pro baseball game and succumbed to the temptations of stadium foods) anyhow, I felt terrible!!!!! My guts were churning and I really didn't feel well, and that had never happened to me before. I would frequently eat fried foods and never felt I'll from them. I feel like I kinda detoxed my body and I can tell you, I have no desire to eat chicken tenders and fries for a long time. This may sound like no biggie, but honestly, for me, that's a big deal and definitely a personal success. The other one that comes to mind happened about an hour ago, I ate my 6 inch subway sub and was happy that I could eat that and fit it into my daily calorie allotment but I was still hungry. I waited ten minutes and drank a whole glass of water (two things that sometimes help) and I was still hungry. Before I decided to partake in this conscious lifestyle change and join MFP I would have eaten something, anything, just so it was something. And honestly, I thought about it tonight, we have chips and dip, we have all kinds of left overs in the fridge, all kinds of snacks that I could have temporarily justified, but would have later regretted. I am proud to say I got a mix of raw veggies from the fridge and steamed them and added garlic salt and black pepper and measured and ate a cup of steamed veggies, and have no guilt about it. This too may seem like no biggie, but it's a personal success for me and I want to share simply to hope to be a motivation for you and or whomever else may read this and think, I ate supper and I'm still hungry I can't stick with this I'm just gonna give up and eat whatever snack because I can't do it. Let me tell you, if I can do it you can do it. And please don't think, if you have a bad day that it's all over and all for not. Like I said, I'm only two weeks in (not even) and had a bad day yesterday (this reminds me, I still have to add that miller lite to my food diary yesterday and I'm already waaaaaaay over my calorie allotment for the day) but bad days happen, and that's ok. Each day is its own day and each meal is its own meal, if you have a bad one, don't beat yourself up over it, just don't let it continue. I did not mean for this reply to be so long, I was just inspired by your post and wanted to respond, and I think it became a little therapeutic for me to write all this. Anyhow, best wishes on your journey, and make self love a part of it as we'll!0
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