Partying and health. Mission impossible?
Cinarocket
Posts: 49 Member
Currently typing on a pretty bad hungover. After consuming probably just shy of 10,000 kcal in 2 days pre-party and post-party (junk food, lot of alcohol, pops mixed with alcohol, etc...) my confidence has reached an all-time low.
I've been losing at a pace I'm very happy with and have dedicated the past 2 months to being healthy with decent success (-9 and -10 lbs) and that included little to no alcohol and therefore very little social events as I'm the kind that can't go out without drinking and if I'm starting my 1st glass...
You probably think you know where this is going. That i'm feeling really guilty and that I don't have motivation to get back on the horse. Well it isn't really that. What bothers me is that during those 2 months I didn't go out nor party I was pretty happy about it. Why? Simply because it made my health journey easier. Being an introvert guy, I used my diet as an excuse to make me feel better about not going out or have social interactions but the truth is that was just me fooling myself. I do want social interaction but not at all costs. I could very easily go on for another 3 months of school - lunch - nap - sport - dinnner - early sleep and stay within my 2000 kcal goal AND burning calories through sport. This is what i've been doing for 2 months basically. But i'd miss out on a lot of fun too. The fact that i'm having a suboptimal social life and being happy about it because that means I can lose my couple pounds a week is scary. Also scary that I'm beating myself up if I do go out.
I think this is when i'm starting to double question myself my habits. Haven't I gone too far with this? Am I becoming too obsessed? Ultimately I'm doing this diet for my health and feeling better about myself, but does feeling better about myself have to go through feeling bad about myself?
I don't know but this sure seems like a paradox to me.
I've been losing at a pace I'm very happy with and have dedicated the past 2 months to being healthy with decent success (-9 and -10 lbs) and that included little to no alcohol and therefore very little social events as I'm the kind that can't go out without drinking and if I'm starting my 1st glass...
You probably think you know where this is going. That i'm feeling really guilty and that I don't have motivation to get back on the horse. Well it isn't really that. What bothers me is that during those 2 months I didn't go out nor party I was pretty happy about it. Why? Simply because it made my health journey easier. Being an introvert guy, I used my diet as an excuse to make me feel better about not going out or have social interactions but the truth is that was just me fooling myself. I do want social interaction but not at all costs. I could very easily go on for another 3 months of school - lunch - nap - sport - dinnner - early sleep and stay within my 2000 kcal goal AND burning calories through sport. This is what i've been doing for 2 months basically. But i'd miss out on a lot of fun too. The fact that i'm having a suboptimal social life and being happy about it because that means I can lose my couple pounds a week is scary. Also scary that I'm beating myself up if I do go out.
I think this is when i'm starting to double question myself my habits. Haven't I gone too far with this? Am I becoming too obsessed? Ultimately I'm doing this diet for my health and feeling better about myself, but does feeling better about myself have to go through feeling bad about myself?
I don't know but this sure seems like a paradox to me.
0
Replies
-
This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.0
-
As an introvert who also likes to indulge, I get where you are coming from when you say you want to drink when you go out. It does make groups easier and it what people like to do, especially at your age.
Which brings me to my second point - you are pretty young. What are friends like when they go out? When I was in my early 20s it was a total mess for EVERYONE going out because....alcohol and young.
As I've gotten older, I've gotten wiser. Also hangovers have gotten worse. I naturally just...stopped drinking so much. I don't really go out much during the week because I work out at 6am. On the weekends, I drink but it's mostly limited now to 2-3 drinks in a night.
It's really all about moderation, not just with the booze but with lifestyle preferences too. As an introver, I know I can't go out all the time. It's exhausting. As someone who likes to be social, however, I know I can't stay home all the time or I'll start feeling really disconnected. You have to find a balance that makes you happy all around.0 -
As an introvert who also likes to indulge, I get where you are coming from when you say you want to drink when you go out. It does make groups easier and it what people like to do, especially at your age.
Which brings me to my second point - you are pretty young. What are friends like when they go out? When I was in my early 20s it was a total mess for EVERYONE going out because....alcohol and young.
As I've gotten older, I've gotten wiser. Also hangovers have gotten worse. I naturally just...stopped drinking so much. I don't really go out much during the week because I work out at 6am. On the weekends, I drink but it's mostly limited now to 2-3 drinks in a night.
It's really all about moderation, not just with the booze but with lifestyle preferences too. As an introvert, I know I can't go out all the time. It's exhausting. As someone who likes to be social, however, I know I can't stay home all the time or I'll start feeling really disconnected. You have to find a balance that makes you happy all around.
Great reply.
You can still have a social life while watching your calories and health, you just have to remain in control.
Before going out set a limit, it might be easier said than done but I know you can accomplish what you set your mind to. Like the other people mentioned, it's all about moderation. & it's totally fine now and then to let loose and forget about calories. I've done it before, have some drinks or junk food and just not log that day. I usually don't see much difference in the scale as long as I stay consistent and get back to eating healthy and working out the rest of the week.0 -
This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.
QFT0 -
If you can't be social without drinking in excess, you probably need friends that you enjoy being around when they're sober. Or you have a problem with liquor.
If you're happy not going out and drinking, that is not having a suboptimal social life. That you think the only way to optimize your social life is by getting drunk, is a problem. You need friends whose sober company you enjoy or maybe a hobby.0 -
As an introvert who also likes to indulge, I get where you are coming from when you say you want to drink when you go out. It does make groups easier and it what people like to do, especially at your age.
Which brings me to my second point - you are pretty young. What are friends like when they go out? When I was in my early 20s it was a total mess for EVERYONE going out because....alcohol and young.
As I've gotten older, I've gotten wiser. Also hangovers have gotten worse. I naturally just...stopped drinking so much. I don't really go out much during the week because I work out at 6am. On the weekends, I drink but it's mostly limited now to 2-3 drinks in a night.
It's really all about moderation, not just with the booze but with lifestyle preferences too. As an introver, I know I can't go out all the time. It's exhausting. As someone who likes to be social, however, I know I can't stay home all the time or I'll start feeling really disconnected. You have to find a balance that makes you happy all around.
+10 -
This content has been removed.
-
I used to use drinking and eating all those awesome foods at social gatherings as an excuse NOT TO keep dieting, or I'd lie to myself and say "well, this week is a loss, I'm going to eat like this week but Monday I'll be back on board". Of course Monday's came and went and I started packing on the weight again.
For me the realization came that once I stopped focusing on that one day or 2 days I went astray and looked at the big picture. I put 2 months into looking better and this weekend I totally blew it. Who cares! Move on and just keep at your diet and chalk it up to events that are going to happen in everyday life. Weddings come and go, holidays happen, football Sundays, etc. You need to stay motivated and shrug off the bad days just like you savor the good days.
Also, I found this easier to do by weighing myself monthly instead of weekly. Nothing discourages me more than when I either work my as* off for a week with no loss or gorge myself on the weekend and weigh in 3 lbs heavier (mostly water weight but try telling yourself that week in and week out).
Good luck and keep up the good work!0 -
I drink every day but I don't get drunk. Try to slow down a bit, one trick is to drink a bottle or glass of water before your first drink. keep this up every drink or two and you will limit your calories. It will also keep you better hydrated which greatly reduces the hangover. I switched much of my beer consumption over to wine because I think it is better for me and I tend to drink it slower than beer. I also equate junk food with the amount of miles that I need to run just to burn it off, very motivating to not get fries with that.0
-
If you can't be social without drinking in excess, you probably need friends that you enjoy being around when they're sober. Or you have a problem with liquor.
If you're happy not going out and drinking, that is not having a suboptimal social life. That you think the only way to optimize your social life is by getting drunk, is a problem. You need friends whose sober company you enjoy or maybe a hobby.
While I agree with this in theory, I do think it's a little short sighted. He's 22 and he's an introvert. I'm going to guess that his friends are young, too, and they are doing what a lot people do when they are 22, which is go to bars and drink. This doesn't make his friends good or bad, or mean he needs new friends, or has a suboptimal social life with the friends he has.
It just means that he needs to:
1. Find a balance
2. Find activities that build self-esteem so that the shyness combined with being introverted don't compel him to drink too much. To your point, hobbies are great for this...0 -
Drinking alcohol in 2014.... :laugh:
Alright, sorry about that. You need to set limits.
Not sure I understand...0 -
I don't drink when I go out because I'm normally driving.. however when I do drink it's at home.. and once I have that 1st bourbon and soda... next thing I know I have 15 in me. I've got a very adictive personality and I believe thats what leads to me being so overweight. I also prefer to stay at home and not interact with most people so that also leads to a lot of couch sitting. I've been trying to drink from a smaller glass. I think Mentally it helps me go... "Okay, you've had xxx number of drinks...let's slow down". With the bigger cup I always go "Well, you've only had 3... let's keep going!!!"0
-
As long as you're happy, why do you have to adhere to some arbitrary standard of what a social life is "supposed" to look like? If, however, you are unhappy with your social life, that is another matter entirely.
One of the most import things about losing weight and keeping it off is learning to do it in every circumstance. If your diet doesn't work in real-life situations, then it doesn't work!
To give specific advice: 1. Learn moderation in all things. Eat the noms. Drink the drinks. But do it in moderation. No one is making you eat/drink that much. Sure, it's nice to go along with the crowd and not be different, but let's face it, if you do what the crowd does, you'll get what the crowd gets. Is that what you want?
2. A lot of people on MFP balance their calories throughout the week. For instance, if you know you're going to go out Friday night, have some delicious, calorie-laden appetizers and drinks, then short yourself a couple hundred calories a day to make up for it.0 -
It's possible.
(1) Don't drink during the week.
(2) Cut your weekday calories significantly to make up for the extra you're getting on the weekend.
(3) Put in a more intense workout on the weekends to further cut into the extra calories you're getting.0 -
If you can't be social without drinking in excess, you probably need friends that you enjoy being around when they're sober. Or you have a problem with liquor.
If you're happy not going out and drinking, that is not having a suboptimal social life. That you think the only way to optimize your social life is by getting drunk, is a problem. You need friends whose sober company you enjoy or maybe a hobby.
While I agree with this in theory, I do think it's a little short sighted. He's 22 and he's an introvert. I'm going to guess that his friends are young, too, and they are doing what a lot people do when they are 22, which is go to bars and drink. This doesn't make his friends good or bad, or mean he needs new friends, or has a suboptimal social life with the friends he has.
It just means that he needs to:
1. Find a balance
2. Find activities that build self-esteem so that the shyness combined with being introverted don't compel him to drink too much. To your point, hobbies are great for this...
/\ wise words!0 -
If you can't be social without drinking in excess, you probably need friends that you enjoy being around when they're sober. Or you have a problem with liquor.
If you're happy not going out and drinking, that is not having a suboptimal social life. That you think the only way to optimize your social life is by getting drunk, is a problem. You need friends whose sober company you enjoy or maybe a hobby.
While I agree with this in theory, I do think it's a little short sighted. He's 22 and he's an introvert. I'm going to guess that his friends are young, too, and they are doing what a lot people do when they are 22, which is go to bars and drink. This doesn't make his friends good or bad, or mean he needs new friends, or has a suboptimal social life with the friends he has.
It just means that he needs to:
1. Find a balance
2. Find activities that build self-esteem so that the shyness combined with being introverted don't compel him to drink too much. To your point, hobbies are great for this...
I'm 23 and never been much of a drinker or partier. It was never an issue until I started dating my current bf. His family views alchohol consumption to quanities that make me uncomfortable as totally normal and it's a hard thing to adjust to.
I don't have much advice for the OP, being in a similar sort of situation myself. But for me, it's less that I want to drink, and more I'm not used to being around drunk people and as an introvert it's hard to deal with that peer pressure. I just kind of deal with it one day at a time, learn what my triggers are, and set boundaries for myself. If you're happy not going out, then you shouldn't have to go out. Your life is what you want to make it, right?0 -
I drink every day and I run everyday... but I can't remember the last time I was drunk or hung-over or when alcohol interfered with a run.... it's all about balance and knowing (and respecting) your limits...0
-
If you can't be social without drinking in excess, you probably need friends that you enjoy being around when they're sober. Or you have a problem with liquor.
If you're happy not going out and drinking, that is not having a suboptimal social life. That you think the only way to optimize your social life is by getting drunk, is a problem. You need friends whose sober company you enjoy or maybe a hobby.
While I agree with this in theory, I do think it's a little short sighted. He's 22 and he's an introvert. I'm going to guess that his friends are young, too, and they are doing what a lot people do when they are 22, which is go to bars and drink. This doesn't make his friends good or bad, or mean he needs new friends, or has a suboptimal social life with the friends he has.
It just means that he needs to:
1. Find a balance
2. Find activities that build self-esteem so that the shyness combined with being introverted don't compel him to drink too much. To your point, hobbies are great for this...
Well said...0 -
This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.
^^^^ This.....it's not rocket science but does require a modicum of self-control and maturity.0 -
Being in your 20's isn't easy, socially speaking. Last year I had gotten all the way down to 170, basically by letting my introversion take over and not doing anything I consider "fun". Then I moved, found some friends that really liked to drink and (coupled with being hungover all the time and using that as an excuse not to workout), I gained 70 lbs in under a year.
I don't have any really healthy advice. Try to only get wasted once a week, or even once a month is a better. I let myself get hammered with friends once a month now and it seems to be working with my weight loss. If you binge drink once a week or even more often, you have to do unhealthy things like plan for all those drinks before hand and not eat so you don't go over your calories. Furthermore, you have to restrict yourself from drunk eating which can be difficult (understatement). Also, try sticking with straight vodka. At least it doesn't have carbs or sugar. Just doesn't taste as great but maybe that will limit your intake as well :laugh:0 -
If you can't be social without drinking in excess, you probably need friends that you enjoy being around when they're sober. Or you have a problem with liquor.
If you're happy not going out and drinking, that is not having a suboptimal social life. That you think the only way to optimize your social life is by getting drunk, is a problem. You need friends whose sober company you enjoy or maybe a hobby.
While I agree with this in theory, I do think it's a little short sighted. He's 22 and he's an introvert. I'm going to guess that his friends are young, too, and they are doing what a lot people do when they are 22, which is go to bars and drink. This doesn't make his friends good or bad, or mean he needs new friends, or has a suboptimal social life with the friends he has.
It just means that he needs to:
1. Find a balance
2. Find activities that build self-esteem so that the shyness combined with being introverted don't compel him to drink too much. To your point, hobbies are great for this...
Well said...
Thank you :flowerforyou:0 -
1. You need to accept the fact that you are an introvert.
2. You might be the type who goes overboard on the drinking to "overcome" said introversion, since it tends to lower inhibitions. Do you feel like you fit in better or something?
3. Just because everyone else goes out and gets blasted doesn't mean that you have to. Find other social pursuits that fits your more introverted style.0 -
This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.
^^^^ This.....it's not rocket science but does require a modicum of self-control and maturity.
He's 22.
For some of us extreme introverts, it is really hard to find the right social balance in all respects (from booze to number of social gatherings). Add in being young, shy and having self-esteem issues? Even harder. He just needs to be self-aware, understand why he is drinking too much and then be proactive about finding esteem building hobbies and a balance between home and social outing that works for his energy levels.
If you aren't an introvert, it would be very hard for you to ever understand what it's like.0 -
This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.
I don't know. That is pretty hard to not do.0 -
For me to comment on this and say not to drink would be highly hypocritical. As a matter of fact, football season and good beer is the largest reason I put on all my weight. All I can say is that if you continue down this road all you are going to do is get fatter. And at some point if you want to get where you want to be you are going to need to make a choice. Be healthy, or continue to live the life you are now. That is to not say that you can not go out and have a couple drinks a few times a week. The question is, can you stop at a few?0
-
What a great post. i too feel the pressure of social events and drinking. although people are right, you have to find a balance. For me i find drinking water between drinks helps. or just not drink at all.0
-
What a great post. i too feel the pressure of social events and drinking. although people are right, you have to find a balance. For me i find drinking water between drinks helps. or just not drink at all.
When someone ask you if you want to drink. If you want to just say no then that is find. I used to get pressure by folks by you free drinks. I decline them now. It did not make my goals impossible but it would have take at least 3 x longer.0 -
If you can't be social without drinking in excess, you probably need friends that you enjoy being around when they're sober. Or you have a problem with liquor.
If you're happy not going out and drinking, that is not having a suboptimal social life. That you think the only way to optimize your social life is by getting drunk, is a problem. You need friends whose sober company you enjoy or maybe a hobby.
This is a good point. For some reason our society thinks that unless you are "partying" you aren't "living" or enjoying life. Well, I've got news for a lot of people that that is so not the case. Sitting in a bar all the time and drinking til your wasted is not living. It's pathetic and what people that are afraid to stretch their boundaries or take chances do. There is a big world out there with many things to do and see and you should enjoy it.
If you enjoy not going out and getting drunk then try to find people and other activities that don't revolve around getting wasted. If when you do go and partake in a social situation, and you just can not have just 1 or 2 drinks then you may have a drinking problem and need to address that.
Many times when we start to make changes in our lives we need to change the people in our lives also. You may have a great group of friends but if all they want to do is party all the time and you are trying to better yourself you have 2 choices. Either stay with them and continue on the same path you've always taken or find new people for your new life. It's all about choices. Everything we do is a choice. Choose to be happy or choose to be unhappy. Choose to eat that piece of pizza or choose a piece of grilled chicken. Choose to go workout or choose to sit on the couch. It's all up to you.0 -
This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.
This
I'm going out tonight. I've already logged it. I'll be 24 calories over and have an awesome night.0 -
If you can't be social without drinking in excess, you probably need friends that you enjoy being around when they're sober. Or you have a problem with liquor.
If you're happy not going out and drinking, that is not having a suboptimal social life. That you think the only way to optimize your social life is by getting drunk, is a problem. You need friends whose sober company you enjoy or maybe a hobby.
This is a good point. For some reason our society thinks that unless you are "partying" you aren't "living" or enjoying life. Well, I've got news for a lot of people that that is so not the case. Sitting in a bar all the time and drinking til your wasted is not living. It's pathetic and what people that are afraid to stretch their boundaries or take chances do. There is a big world out there with many things to do and see and you should enjoy it.
If you enjoy not going out and getting drunk then try to find people and other activities that don't revolve around getting wasted. If when you do go and partake in a social situation, and you just can not have just 1 or 2 drinks then you may have a drinking problem and need to address that.
Many times when we start to make changes in our lives we need to change the people in our lives also. You may have a great group of friends but if all they want to do is party all the time and you are trying to better yourself you have 2 choices. Either stay with them and continue on the same path you've always taken or find new people for your new life. It's all about choices. Everything we do is a choice. Choose to be happy or choose to be unhappy. Choose to eat that piece of pizza or choose a piece of grilled chicken. Choose to go workout or choose to sit on the couch. It's all up to you.
I don't think this is what the problem is though...
His friends drink because they are in their early 20s and that's what kids in their early 20s do. He drinks too much because he is an introvert and it is helping him "lubricate" the situation so that he is more comfortable. He doesn't necessarily need new friends, he needs to have some self-awareness about what he is doing and why he is doing it and then work on his self-esteem so he feels more confident when he is out and about.
In regards to finding new friends? Well, new friends are always great especially if he takes on some new hobbies. But he doesn't need to cut his old friends, either. They aren't bad people because they are 22 and hitting up some bars.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 423 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions