Partying and health. Mission impossible?

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  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    If you can't be social without drinking in excess, you probably need friends that you enjoy being around when they're sober. Or you have a problem with liquor.

    If you're happy not going out and drinking, that is not having a suboptimal social life. That you think the only way to optimize your social life is by getting drunk, is a problem. You need friends whose sober company you enjoy or maybe a hobby.

    While I agree with this in theory, I do think it's a little short sighted. He's 22 and he's an introvert. I'm going to guess that his friends are young, too, and they are doing what a lot people do when they are 22, which is go to bars and drink. This doesn't make his friends good or bad, or mean he needs new friends, or has a suboptimal social life with the friends he has.

    It just means that he needs to:

    1. Find a balance
    2. Find activities that build self-esteem so that the shyness combined with being introverted don't compel him to drink too much. To your point, hobbies are great for this...

    Well said...

    Thank you :flowerforyou:
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    1. You need to accept the fact that you are an introvert.

    2. You might be the type who goes overboard on the drinking to "overcome" said introversion, since it tends to lower inhibitions. Do you feel like you fit in better or something?

    3. Just because everyone else goes out and gets blasted doesn't mean that you have to. Find other social pursuits that fits your more introverted style.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.

    ^^^^ This.....it's not rocket science but does require a modicum of self-control and maturity.

    He's 22.

    For some of us extreme introverts, it is really hard to find the right social balance in all respects (from booze to number of social gatherings). Add in being young, shy and having self-esteem issues? Even harder. He just needs to be self-aware, understand why he is drinking too much and then be proactive about finding esteem building hobbies and a balance between home and social outing that works for his energy levels.

    If you aren't an introvert, it would be very hard for you to ever understand what it's like.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.

    I don't know. That is pretty hard to not do.
  • DvlDwnInGA
    DvlDwnInGA Posts: 368 Member
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    For me to comment on this and say not to drink would be highly hypocritical. As a matter of fact, football season and good beer is the largest reason I put on all my weight. All I can say is that if you continue down this road all you are going to do is get fatter. And at some point if you want to get where you want to be you are going to need to make a choice. Be healthy, or continue to live the life you are now. That is to not say that you can not go out and have a couple drinks a few times a week. The question is, can you stop at a few?
  • beepaz
    beepaz Posts: 42 Member
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    What a great post. i too feel the pressure of social events and drinking. although people are right, you have to find a balance. For me i find drinking water between drinks helps. or just not drink at all.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    What a great post. i too feel the pressure of social events and drinking. although people are right, you have to find a balance. For me i find drinking water between drinks helps. or just not drink at all.

    When someone ask you if you want to drink. If you want to just say no then that is find. I used to get pressure by folks by you free drinks. I decline them now. It did not make my goals impossible but it would have take at least 3 x longer.
  • wibutterflymagic
    wibutterflymagic Posts: 788 Member
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    If you can't be social without drinking in excess, you probably need friends that you enjoy being around when they're sober. Or you have a problem with liquor.

    If you're happy not going out and drinking, that is not having a suboptimal social life. That you think the only way to optimize your social life is by getting drunk, is a problem. You need friends whose sober company you enjoy or maybe a hobby.


    This is a good point. For some reason our society thinks that unless you are "partying" you aren't "living" or enjoying life. Well, I've got news for a lot of people that that is so not the case. Sitting in a bar all the time and drinking til your wasted is not living. It's pathetic and what people that are afraid to stretch their boundaries or take chances do. There is a big world out there with many things to do and see and you should enjoy it.

    If you enjoy not going out and getting drunk then try to find people and other activities that don't revolve around getting wasted. If when you do go and partake in a social situation, and you just can not have just 1 or 2 drinks then you may have a drinking problem and need to address that.

    Many times when we start to make changes in our lives we need to change the people in our lives also. You may have a great group of friends but if all they want to do is party all the time and you are trying to better yourself you have 2 choices. Either stay with them and continue on the same path you've always taken or find new people for your new life. It's all about choices. Everything we do is a choice. Choose to be happy or choose to be unhappy. Choose to eat that piece of pizza or choose a piece of grilled chicken. Choose to go workout or choose to sit on the couch. It's all up to you.
  • Strange_magic
    Strange_magic Posts: 370 Member
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    This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.

    This

    I'm going out tonight. I've already logged it. I'll be 24 calories over and have an awesome night.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    If you can't be social without drinking in excess, you probably need friends that you enjoy being around when they're sober. Or you have a problem with liquor.

    If you're happy not going out and drinking, that is not having a suboptimal social life. That you think the only way to optimize your social life is by getting drunk, is a problem. You need friends whose sober company you enjoy or maybe a hobby.


    This is a good point. For some reason our society thinks that unless you are "partying" you aren't "living" or enjoying life. Well, I've got news for a lot of people that that is so not the case. Sitting in a bar all the time and drinking til your wasted is not living. It's pathetic and what people that are afraid to stretch their boundaries or take chances do. There is a big world out there with many things to do and see and you should enjoy it.

    If you enjoy not going out and getting drunk then try to find people and other activities that don't revolve around getting wasted. If when you do go and partake in a social situation, and you just can not have just 1 or 2 drinks then you may have a drinking problem and need to address that.

    Many times when we start to make changes in our lives we need to change the people in our lives also. You may have a great group of friends but if all they want to do is party all the time and you are trying to better yourself you have 2 choices. Either stay with them and continue on the same path you've always taken or find new people for your new life. It's all about choices. Everything we do is a choice. Choose to be happy or choose to be unhappy. Choose to eat that piece of pizza or choose a piece of grilled chicken. Choose to go workout or choose to sit on the couch. It's all up to you.

    I don't think this is what the problem is though...

    His friends drink because they are in their early 20s and that's what kids in their early 20s do. He drinks too much because he is an introvert and it is helping him "lubricate" the situation so that he is more comfortable. He doesn't necessarily need new friends, he needs to have some self-awareness about what he is doing and why he is doing it and then work on his self-esteem so he feels more confident when he is out and about.

    In regards to finding new friends? Well, new friends are always great especially if he takes on some new hobbies. But he doesn't need to cut his old friends, either. They aren't bad people because they are 22 and hitting up some bars.
  • sccet
    sccet Posts: 141 Member
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    This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.

    Prove it.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.

    Prove it.

    I have went out this year sober more than I have since I started drinking. It is actually fun when you don't have alcohol goggles on dictating your night.
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
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    There were some good posts already, but I suppose it matters why you're drinking. Is it socialization, because it ups your confidence, or it's just...fun?

    If it's socialization - drink hard alcohol. Start with a gin and tonic or a vodka soda and switch to water. You get a nice buzz in the beginning and by the time you switch to water, everyone else has been drinking so much, they don't notice. I used to do this at work functions where alcohol was involved.

    If it's confidence - well maybe you can do something just before you go out that makes you feel pumped up. Maybe lifting weights or trying for a new personal record just before? Or something that gives you a little adrenaline rush, like rock climbing?


    If it's fun...? Well, I don't know. Add some physical activity to partying so you burn some calories.
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
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    I cut my drinking down from several times a week, to getting falldown *kitten* faced drunk about twice a month. I still feel like I'm pretty healthy and maintain my weight. You just need to find a good balance.
  • sccet
    sccet Posts: 141 Member
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    This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.

    Prove it.

    I have went out this year sober more than I have since I started drinking. It is actually fun when you don't have alcohol goggles on dictating your night.

    Sounds like anecdotal evidence to me.
  • sccet
    sccet Posts: 141 Member
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    (I'm kidding, BTW)
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
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    I drink heavily on the weekends, workout and eat right throughout the week, and have no problem staying in shape (and I'm 42).

    Decide what's important to you -- partying or being fit -- and do that. And if BOTH things are important, do both.
  • Cinarocket
    Cinarocket Posts: 49 Member
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    Thanks for the answer everyone.

    Obviously balance is key I just would like to point out that finding good balance can be quite tricky when you're 22 years old, we're still learning life after all.

    In regards to drinking & socializing, I do enjoy drinking. I do not drink for others and I'd have a really hard time having (as much) fun if I wasn't drinking. Moderation is obviously key but especially in the area I'm from, drinking in mass has become a culture and relying on making the smart decision to stop once you're already 4 or 5 drinks in can easily go wrong.
  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,709 Member
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    This might sound crazy, but it's possible to have a social life without getting falldown, sh*tfaced drunk on a weekly basis.

    Prove it.

    I have went out this year sober more than I have since I started drinking. It is actually fun when you don't have alcohol goggles on dictating your night.
    I've found this to be true, also. Plus, I feel just fine the next day. Everyone else? Not so much. I like both enjoying my evening out AND my entire day the next day (instead of spending most of it trying to recover). Not trying to be preachy. Just stating what I've found, personally.
  • iheartinsanity
    iheartinsanity Posts: 205 Member
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    Not going to say stop drinking and partying because we all know you aren't going to do that (and even though it doesn't fit with my lifestyle, I sympathize with others). I've haven't had a single drink in about 3 years, but any chance you can do it a little less often? Maybe once a month? I can eat 4000 cals a day but I limit myself to one "refeed" day a month (unless my body needs it more). Maybe be the DD on the the other 3 nights of the month?

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