Am I losing too much weight,I have history of anorexia)

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cylence82
cylence82 Posts: 14
in Health and Weight Loss
My wife has been expressing concern that I am losing too much. At one point in my teens I was placed in an institution for anorexia. At the time I weighed 107lbs, ate once every 3 days, and worked out constantly. This is not the case today, however my wife is worried. She says I look too skinny, that my ribs and backbone are too visible. When I look at myself though I still feel like I could lose a little more.

I'm 5"9", 32 y/o, and currently weigh about 135, I'm not sure how much I weighed when I started trying to lose weight, somewhere between 150 and 160.

I overhauled my diet to fruit, veggies, eggs, and poultry during the last week of June and started working out on a daily basis. For the first month I limited myself to 800-1000 calories a day and worked off 300-700 of that a day, mostly through cardio. I would do 10-15 miles a day on the stationary bike, as well as crunches and pushups.

Once the 15 or so pounds I wanted to lose came off I aimed to become and stay lean and trim...not bulky muscle, just tight. I upped my calories to 1200-1500 a day, allowing myself to splurge without counting a day or two a week, and cut back the exercise to 300-500 crunches/120 pushups 4 to 5 days a week, and hit the bike for 10-15 minutes a day 3 days a week. I don't count calories burned with crunches/pushups just cardio.

Even after doing that I have still continued to lose weight but I am eating, frequently and working out far less than I was so to me I'm not anorexic. I get that my view of my body will be distorted and I will always think I'm fat due to having the anorexic mindset but I don't feel that my exercise and diet warrant my wife's concern.

You guys know more about adequate weight and nutrition than I do, so what do you think. Is 130 to light for a guy my size?

Also my abs aren't getting as tight as I'd like, but I am starting to see definition. My wife says this is because all that is there is skin.

Replies

  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,904 Member
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    Is 130 to light for a guy my size?

    Without knowing what your BF% is like, 130 is on the low end of normal for your height according to the BMI.

    Given your history, you should probably be seeking professional guidance.

    If you didn't have an ED in your history, I probably just advise you to eat more (paying particular attention to macros) and research a progressive lifting program.

    EDIT: And by low end of normal, I mean it's too low for me to feel comfortable.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    I'm a 5'8 girl and I would be laughably skinny at 130..I can't imagine a taller guy suiting that very low weight

    Listen to your wife who is the only one who knows you and she clearly loves you

    And please see a doctor ...I think your ED might be returning
  • BabyKaneBash
    BabyKaneBash Posts: 10
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    I'm 5 ft tall and to maintain my weight I eat around 1300 to 1500 lbs. I don't believe you are eating enough calories but, just like what everyone else is seeing, I would seek professional guidance. I definitely think you are skinny for your height. I am 5 ft and weight about 125 and although i could stand to lose some weight.. im not fat by any means.
  • zamphir66
    zamphir66 Posts: 582 Member
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    I'm a guy, two inches shorter than you, and look/feel my best at about 155. My understanding also is that a reasonably active male should not be routinely dipping under 2000 calories a day. In fact, my daily goal is right at 2000, and I've been losing at a healthy, steady rate for months now (I lost 20 lbs before joining here.)
  • stevesilk
    stevesilk Posts: 204 Member
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    I am scared reading this post. It's obvious there's a major issue, and if your wife cannot convince you of your issues, it's doubtful we can. EDs are diseases, and need to be treated as such. Please get help. For your sake and your wife's.
  • Kate7294
    Kate7294 Posts: 783 Member
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    I'm a 5'7" female when I weighed 130 lbs. in high school I had been ill and lost weight ( abscessed tonsils and then tonsillectomy at 18 yrs. old ). My ribs and hip bones stuck out I looked awful. As a Mom of a 16 yr. son who is 5'9" and weighs 140 lbs. I think you need to seek a Doctor/treatment again.

    My son is a picky eater and I worry about him not eating enough. A Doctor/friend said "If he weighed 10 less then he would be underweight".

    ***Please get help!****
  • shexy16
    shexy16 Posts: 68
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    Please talk to your doctor/therapist immediately...it sounds like you're experiencing some of your ED symptoms again. EDs don't go away, they're always there, and we have to work on managing the symptoms for the rest of our lives.
  • cylence82
    cylence82 Posts: 14
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    Thanks for the feedback guys. This is why I asked. I know I'm not a good judge of what my body actually looks like, and while I appreciate my wife's concern she's not exactly impartial.

    Maybe I should adjust my MFP settings. It is still set to weight loss rather than maintenance, and it is set to sedentary, though I don't know if an hour of exercise a week and wrangling an infant at night when I leave my job after sitting in a cubicle for 9 hours would be enough to consider myself lightly active.

    I'm definitely not trying to fall back in to the ED...like I say I am eating frequently, and more nutritious than I ever have, and not exercising near as much as I think I should...but then again I am not the best judge of this due to the distorted image I will always have of myself. I'll make some adjustments and see how it goes. Thanks again!
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    I would be very surprised if you're not still losing on 12-1500/day.

    What caused you to decide to go on a drastic diet in the first place? And yes, the extreme caloric restriction of 800/day as well as the narrow scope of types of food counts as drastic in my mind.
  • cylence82
    cylence82 Posts: 14
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    What caused you to decide to go on a drastic diet in the first place?

    I got chubby and slow. After years of working desk jobs and getting caught up in raising kids and whatnot I just let myself go. One day I woke up and realized I had a pot belly going on and decided it was time to get in better shape.

    I've lost the weight I set out to lose so it sounds like I need to make adjustments to get the muscle tone now instead of just continuing to lose.

    I do wonder thought if American views on anorexia are based on cultural norms rather than the hard science of health. Compare an average healthy American to the average healthy citizen of Japan. The build on these 2 people will be drastically different, but in their own societies would be considered perfectly normal and healthy despite the large difference in size. Are we, in western society just predisposed to think we should be bigger than we actually need to be because we've become accustomed to easy access to larger portions, wider variety of foods, and lifestyles based around comfort and convenience? The mass acceptance of gluttony doesn't make any healthier, right?
  • sljohnson1207
    sljohnson1207 Posts: 818 Member
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    I say these things below from a place of understanding, caring, and experience.

    It's not your height/weight that alarms me in your posting, though I personally think it's very likely borderline underweight, it's the words you choose surrounding your body image and how you nourish (or under-nourish) your body.

    You do not have to accept a distorted image of yourself. You do not have to accept having an illness. You can admit you have an issue, while giving up being in denial. You can seek the help you need to get rid of body dysmorphic disorder and learn a new vision of yourself. While your underlying issue will be there always in a small way, you can turn your cheek to it. You can choose to heal and accept that you are a worthwhile person, and that you deserve to be loved, and loved most importantly by YOU.

    Please seek renewal of treatment immediately with a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist and registered dietitian that are both experienced with eating disorders in all their variations.



    I have two questions for you, and if you don't feel comfy answering here, just ask yourself and answer yourself as honestly as you can.

    (1) Do you place value on your life?

    (2) Do you feel worthy of love?



    ETA: I just read your last justification for your actions, and that is truly scary thinking, IMHO.
  • z_bra
    z_bra Posts: 79 Member
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    Your wife said that you are but u will trust a bunch of strangers on the internet instead? Stop losing weight! You are making excuses and trying to rationalise your eating disorder.
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,904 Member
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    What caused you to decide to go on a drastic diet in the first place?

    I got chubby and slow. After years of working desk jobs and getting caught up in raising kids and whatnot I just let myself go. One day I woke up and realized I had a pot belly going on and decided it was time to get in better shape.

    I've lost the weight I set out to lose so it sounds like I need to make adjustments to get the muscle tone now instead of just continuing to lose.

    I do wonder thought if American views on anorexia are based on cultural norms rather than the hard science of health. Compare an average healthy American to the average healthy citizen of Japan. The build on these 2 people will be drastically different, but in their own societies would be considered perfectly normal and healthy despite the large difference in size. Are we, in western society just predisposed to think we should be bigger than we actually need to be because we've become accustomed to easy access to larger portions, wider variety of foods, and lifestyles based around comfort and convenience? The mass acceptance of gluttony doesn't make any healthier, right?

    The only reason that would matter is if you're suggesting that anyone who thinks you're too thin has a significantly biased viewed of what is and is not healthy. If you're not suggesting that, then it's nothing more than a tangent. But if we want to go there, regional differences in happen. It's why you look at an individual within their own context. Men generally have more muscle mass than women. Women generally have a higher BF% then men. it's just biology.

    In any event you should consult with a doctor about your health.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    What caused you to decide to go on a drastic diet in the first place?

    I got chubby and slow. After years of working desk jobs and getting caught up in raising kids and whatnot I just let myself go. One day I woke up and realized I had a pot belly going on and decided it was time to get in better shape.

    I've lost the weight I set out to lose so it sounds like I need to make adjustments to get the muscle tone now instead of just continuing to lose.

    I do wonder thought if American views on anorexia are based on cultural norms rather than the hard science of health. Compare an average healthy American to the average healthy citizen of Japan. The build on these 2 people will be drastically different, but in their own societies would be considered perfectly normal and healthy despite the large difference in size. Are we, in western society just predisposed to think we should be bigger than we actually need to be because we've become accustomed to easy access to larger portions, wider variety of foods, and lifestyles based around comfort and convenience? The mass acceptance of gluttony doesn't make any healthier, right?

    It's not about how you look but about what you're doing. You said you wanted to 'get in better shape', so you basically dropped your net intake to ZERO. And wanting so badly to justify yourself is another red flag. It feels to me like maybe when you realized you were going to diet, you got excited about indulging your ED a bit. Which I'm not judging at all, I know some stuff about some stuff, but just being honest about what I'm reading here. It's done now, so you have to decide: do you want to be anorexic or not?
  • cylence82
    cylence82 Posts: 14
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    It's done now, so you have to decide: do you want to be anorexic or not?

    I definitely don't, that's why I'm trying to do things differently this time instead of falling into what I did 15 or so years ago. I'm not doing anything near as extreme now as I did then but it sounds like I might still be pushing it a bit, which was my wife's concern and why I thought I'd come here and ask. Sometimes its nice to get the opinion of someone not directly involved.

    I wasn't expecting this much feedback, I was just wondering if I should eat more, but I appreciate what everyone has had to say.
  • cylence82
    cylence82 Posts: 14
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    I have two questions for you, and if you don't feel comfy answering here, just ask yourself and answer yourself as honestly as you can.
    (1) Do you place value on your life?

    (2) Do you feel worthy of love?

    Value on my life is debatable (I'm one of those people that never thinks they've done enough in life), but I do acknowledge the value my wife and children place on my life.

    And yes I feel worthy of love. I work hard to provide for my family and they love me more than I could ever hope for.

    I don't think the perception of myself has much to do with feeling worthless or anything like that.

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