Success.failure.success.failure

Have you identified your eating triggers? That might give you the clue to why you are sabotaging yourself. Are you convinced you can't do it? If you are afraid of failure, then sabotaging yourself means you never have to test that. Are you convinced you don't deserve to be fit and healthy? Are you suffering from hormonal fluctuations? Are you limiting your calories *too* much on your "good" days?

You definitely should keep going - one or two bad days, or even weeks, still can't undo the good you are doing yourself over a long time period. A setback isn't a failure, and keeping to your plan isn't a success - it's just a journey you are taking on your commitment to a better life.

It can help to have alternatives there for you when you get the impulse to eat, be it healthier foods or an alternative activity such as meditation.

Are you exercising? One of my big motivators is working hard in the morning on my run or cycle, and then pigging out is less tempting because I don't want to waste all that hard work!

You aren't the only one who sabotages themselves. I've been doing it for years - I don't know what flipped the switch for me this year but I feel so much more confident in my ability to do this.

peppers -

I had an AWFUL day yesterday, I was stressed over school and allowed myself to eat an entire pint of soy ice cream, crisps, nuts, who knows, you can look at my diary it was insane. but i still went to the gym. which really cheered me up. yeah, my calorie goal was way off for the day but today i didn't let that stop me: i made it back to my 1200 goal today.

one of the biggest motivators for me is that it's not over if you go over your calories. you can always work out and make it right. even if you eat them late night, just add the extra calories to the next day's diary in the morning so you HAVE to go to the gym.

i know it's really hard and i can't pretend i can understand your situation but i know it's not easy for anyone. please don't let one bad day decide your future. keep going.

Ive had bad lunches for the last 3 days , essentially 1000 cal for just that meal.
Ive managed to stay under my calorie goal by eating better at night BUT its not the proper way to do it. I know that and i have to control that.

prior to that i was going real good and eating clean.

Ive managed to maintain my exercise which is good.

Yes you should continue, this isnt an overnight thing , it wont come undone overnight and it wont happen overnight either.

Stay strong

I've never been a thin person but I've always wondered what it would be like. I thought once I drop 100 pounds I'll be happier, healthier and I'll like myself more. Well wouldn't you know it... I lost almost 20 pounds and I was feeling great! Then over the last 3 or 4 days I've begun to undo it... Eating nearly 5000 cals a day, stated making excuses not to exercise... Why once I'm feeling happy do I do this to myself? Is it too late? Should I even bother continuing? Am I the only one who had sabotaged themself? I'm so down.

It's NOT to late! You CAN continue this journey! Once you reach your goals you'll say "I'm so glad I continued this" b/c you will feel so much better!

I think most people before they are able to stay on track suffer through relapses. I know I have! But just remember how good it feels to have had any success and remind yourself that it's been done before and that you can do it too. And don't discourage yourself. I know it's hard, but living a life with a love/hate relationship with food is torturous and not worth it. It's all about learning to love the food you eat because it loves you back.

Also, a good motivation for me is picking up a couple bags of 10 lb potatoes (or something to that effect) and just feel the weight in your hands and think about how that weight in your hands was once on your body, putting stress on your joints and holding you back. It's interesting to physically see what 10 pounds looks like, cause it may not feel like much, but it really really is.

First: WOW!!!!! 20 lbs gone!!! That is great!!! Don't be forget to celebrate that HUGE victory!!! And remind yourself of how strong you are and will continue to be!!

Next...I peeked at your profile and food diary (your kids are gorgeous, btw!!), and I noticed that your protein seemed a little low. Perhaps you should research the % a little and try tweaking yours to see if maybe you are having trouble bc you are no receiving enough of something. I know I crave sweets like crazy if I don't have the proper amount of fat/protein.

Also, I know that if I don't do well at breakfast, I will have a horrible day filled with cravings, hunger, etc. Are you vegan? Maybe some steel cut oats, nuts, and yogurt will help start you out on a stronger path?

I know this isn't easy!!! It's so hard to stay on task and falling off track is so easy! But you have 3 beautiful children who look to you to show them what can be done, and how to so it! Remembering that my kids see me and my own feelings toward food really keeps me in check. I want their little bodies to be as strong and as healthy as I can make them.

You can do this!!! Look for support near you...maybe something like weight watchers? I've heard so many wonderful things about them!!

Good luck!!! Your so beautiful and so young that I know you can do this!!!

You ARE worth it!!!!

I have had an issue with emotionally eating and binge eating since I was about 16.
I know the feeling of eating way too much and wondering if it's even worth trying to do right the next day.
Let me tell you, it is worth it!
You are worth it.
There will be days that are hard but never give up!
MFP and all of us are here to support each other through the ups and downs.
We are here for you!