Apologies!

kimi233 · January 2011

I was venting to my husband in our car last night, that yes, I have finally lost 20 pounds, and I'm extremely proud of myself for keeping dedicated to this, and literally working my butt off. I went shopping earlier that day and I tried on jeans, and I fit into a size smaller!! YAY!! And while saying how proud I am, and I know that I've lost all this weight in my head, but when I look in the mirror, I still see myself 20 pounds heavier. And I asked him if he has noticed a change (because not once has he said anything about it) And his response was, "Yeah, I can tell some, but I see you everyday so its not like it was a huge change, but the people at the Christmas party really noticed." And I started saying, it would just be nice to finally feel the way I know I look. And his next comment "You need to shut up or some one is going to punch you in the face." My mouth dropped, and I was like why?? He said because I've lost enough weight, and people are going to get mad at me for wanting to loose more, I should be happy where I'm at and stop talking about it.

So, on that note, I do apologize if I have ever offended anyone. I know my goals are small, and I'm almost there, but I never in a million years want to discourage anyone, or make them feel bad! I want every single one of you to reach all of your goals, no matter how big or small they may be! I plan on being here for a very long time, because even when I do meet my goals, it will take a lot for me to maintain, because I'm a huge emotional eater (note the cookies in my diary today) so I know its going to be a long road! So again, sorry if I have upset anyone. I do not ever think that anyone should be judged on their goals, the fact that you are here and trying to improve your health is the best thing ever, and I'm proud of all of you!

Really hope you all have a happy and healthy day! I'm going to go wok out and relieve some of this stress before I finish that entire pack of cookies!!

jdp21 · January 2011

No offence kimi233, but your husband sounds like a jerk. :-/ I mean, it's sort of a jerky thing to say. In my experience, people who react negatively to others accomplishing their goals and discussing their successes are people who are simply jealous. They're jealous and bitter because they can't seem to accomplish them themselves. I know this because I felt similarly towards a friend of mine and I was that jerk myself.

Don't worry about offending anyone! If people take offence to you being proud of what you accomplished, then that's THEIR problem and it's most certainly not yours! You are here to improve your quality of life and it's not anyone else's business whether or not you do!

Now, go give yourself a pat on the back for losing 20 lbs, because that's awesome.

Triquetra · January 2011

The journey is different for everyone, it might be that last 10lbs or the last 100lbs, everyone still struggles with the same issues and we are all here to support each other no matter what our goals are. I personally have 75 to lose, my sister 10, we both have the same struggles day to day with what to eat, when/what to exercise, and being proud for our little accomplishments whether it be 10 lost or 1 lost.

Feel better...and put the cookies down :laugh:

hardybelle83 · January 2011

Never apologize for wanting to be healthy!! I'm assuming that the last few pounds you want to lose will still keep you within a healthy weight range .. so who cares what OTHER people think?? Your weight loss goals are just as important as anyone else's .. even someone with lots more to lose.

I'm where you are .. trying to lose that elusive last 5 pounds. My husband says I look great, my parents wonder why I'm trying to lose weight, but it's not about them. It's about how I want to feel when I look in the mirror. I'm healthy about it - I'm not starving myself, I'm not trying to attain an unrealistic goal. So, don't beat yourself up!! Keep on truckin' & you'll get there, or maybe even decide that you're happy where you are. Either way, make it your decision

FoamyRiver · January 2011

No apologies are neccessary.

Like you said, everyone on this site is here to improve their health; whether they have 10 pounds or 310 pounds to lose. I'm just as happy and excited for you almost reaching your goal of 24 pounds as I am of someone who wants to gain 15 pounds or lose 100.

Keep up the good work and don't ever feel like you have to apologize for your accomplishments!

cardbucfan · January 2011

OMG, I think HE needs a punch in the mouth! Congratulations on losing 20 lbs. I am right there with you not having a whole bunch to lose but that doesn't make it any easier and I will be here doing the maintenance thing with you too. It sounds to me like he might be a wee bit jealous but as far as I am concerned, you don't need to apologise for anything.

happybrooke · January 2011

Don't apologize.
From the sounds of it, I think your husband owes you an apology.

There's more to weight loss than just losing the weight. It's as much psychological as it is physical. I think most of us can say that WE see in the reflection in the mirror isn't what OTHERS see. There's nothing wrong with wanting to balance your physical and emotional responses to your weight loss. Keep up the great work and don't worry about what your husband said. It doesn't sound like he understands what you were saying.

live2smyle · January 2011

Shout it from the rooftops!!!!! I know I will :happy:

kimcat73 · January 2011

I don't think you should ever feel bad for your successes. Shout them from the rooftops! And those who love you or care about you will (or should) be happy for you. Jealousy is something we have all dealt with when it comes to this journey because we want to succeed as well. Relish in your loss, you deserve it! Never apologize!

And didn't intend to steal the "rooftops" quote, that was purely like minds typing at the same time! LOL

Setof2Keys · January 2011

Your success is GREAT. I think your Husband was trying to make a point and it didn't come out clearly. When someone is thin, it makes heavier ppl (who are trying to lose weight) annoyed to hear them say they want to lose more weight. I think your Husband was trying to let you know that some miserable ppl will see it as attention seeking and warn you of that perception. I think those ppl need to look within themselves and wonder why they can not be happy for others. I feel like you've earned the right to brag and anyone that is not happy for your accomplishment, is not the type of ppl you need in your life anyway. Way to go!!!

alliecore · January 2011

First off, DON'T apoligize!

IF (and that is a big IF) you have ever offended anyone, most likely it was due to jealousy rather than you saying something you shouldn't have. You earned it, you should rejoice!

That being said, I understand where you're coming from, 1000%. I have never had a lot of weight to lose; in fact, my gain of 10 lbs over the last several months was somewhat needed, as I was a bit too thin; but I'm working on taking about 6 off. I have spent my life vowing that I will nip weight gain in the bud, rather than letting it get out of control. So believe me, I have received plenty of hate over the years for wanting to take 5 lbs off here and there. I've been snobbed, I've been judged, until basically I just keep it to myself if I find myself needing to lose a little.

When the day is done, we all need to applaud each other for our effort. It all comes off 1 lb at a time, and it all takes work. And we're all in it together!

HMKan · January 2011

I can see where heavier people would be upset at a "skinny" person complaining about needing to lose weight. But I think it's all relative. I'm a heavy, heavy chick. And I take skinny girls complaints about losing weight with a grain of salt (plus it helps that on here I'm not hearing it in person, nor am I actually seeing their size when I read posts). Fact is, someone heavier than I am might consider me the skinny chick who is complaining about losing weight when they'd be happy to be at my weight. Well, I'm over 230, so while they might wish they were at my weight, I'm still allowed to want to be smaller myself.

I think there's a difference in seriously trying to reach a goal and being one of those people who is just out there "complaining" about reaching a fictitious goal they made up just to get attention. The latter gives the former a bad rap. If you seriously want to lose more weight, go for it and do what you need to do. Anyone who is unsupportive is jealous (either of your progress or of your size). As long as you're not flaunting it to make others feel bad or to get attention, I think you're in the same boat with anyone else who has a goal to meet, whether it be 100+ pounds to lose or 5 pounds.

christy_frank · January 2011

Yep, your husband is a jerl who cannot be happy for you because he is unable to obtain his goals.

alliecore · January 2011

I can see where heavier people would be upset at a "skinny" person complaining about needing to lose weight. But I think it's all relative. I'm a heavy, heavy chick. And I take skinny girls complaints about losing weight with a grain of salt (plus it helps that on here I'm not hearing it in person, nor am I actually seeing their size when I read posts). Fact is, someone heavier than I am might consider me the skinny chick who is complaining about losing weight when they'd be happy to be at my weight. Well, I'm over 230, so while they might wish they were at my weight, I'm still allowed to want to be smaller myself.

I think there's a difference in seriously trying to reach a goal and being one of those people who is just out there "complaining" about reaching a fictitious goal they made up just to get attention. The latter gives the former a bad rap. If you seriously want to lose more weight, go for it and do what you need to do. Anyone who is unsupportive is jealous (either of your progress or of your size). As long as you're not flaunting it to make others feel bad or to get attention, I think you're in the same boat with anyone else who has a goal to meet, whether it be 100+ pounds to lose or 5 pounds.

Sigh.....you said what I was 'trying' to say....and you said it so much better!

chilipeppers · January 2011

yeah, i gotta say, your husband is being a bit of an a-hole. The mere fact he said "someone is going to punch you in the face" is totally unacceptable. He should be someone you can vent your frustrations to, he should be someone who, no matter what, wants to encourage you and pick you up when you fall down (and you the same for him!) He should NEVER, under ANY circumstances, treat your journey to better health as a light issue. It is important, and he should know that, because if he's supposed to be with you forever, he should want you to be healthy and happy for all the days of your life.

Sorry, but I had to say it, and there's so much i could say about that comment, but i'll leave it at that haha. Hope you feel better after your workout, and know that on this website, as far as i'm concerned, we're all here to listen to your frustrations and give advice and encourage, so if your total *kitten* of a husband wont, never apologize for coming here. That's what this website is for isn't it?

kimi233 · January 2011

Thank you all for understanding!!! I didn't know what to think after that! So thank you for all of your support. I was very upset by his comments, and the more I thought about it, I didn't know if I did really sound like what he said. I think chilipeppers hit the nail on the head, what upset me the most, was he is my husband, the ONE person I should be able to count on for anything!! So from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU, to each of you for offering your kind words and all of your support! I really do love this site!! And I wish you all health and happiness!! I did get my work out in and feel sooo much better, and I hid the cookies!!!

Out of sight out of mind right??!! hahaha Thank you all again!!:flowerforyou:

Mrs_McFadden · January 2011

I'm new to this site, so obviously you owe zero apologies to me. What I'd rather hear is your husband apologizing to YOU lol. I have oh 70 pounds to lose and I certainly am not the kind of person that would think ill of someone achieving their own personal goals. You rock!! 20 pounds is nothing to scoff at, that's hard work! Congrats!

tater8589 · January 2011

No apologies needed. We all feel different ways and have different jouneys. If you feel something and want to vent Vent away! Holding it in is unhealthy and we are all here to help. There are actually a couple of vent pages that are ongoing. One is Vent and the other is An Open Letter... part 2.

I have been working my rear off and have nothing to show for it. Its very frustrating. We all need some time to let if off our chest.

ncahill77 · January 2011

I am not taking his side at all, but I tend to talk about it too much to my wife and I think she gets frustrated hearing me go on and on about it. Kind of like a kid with a new toy, so I have had to learn to tone it down some with her. I don't think you owe anyone an apology here, we are all here reading of our own free will and mostly because we want to hear the good things and the motivation. As a man and a husband I can say just slug him in the arm tell him he was an a-hole and why he probably doesn't even have a clue he hurt your feelings....we can be kind of dumb.

Apologies!

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