Ladies...

Elizabeth_C34
Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
edited September 23 in Motivation and Support
If you are dating a man who cheats on you, talks down to you, refuses to support you, DUMP HIM IMMEDIATELY. Do not give an ultimatum, just leave. If he doesn't respect and love you now, he never will even if you lose the weight. You deserve better. It doesn't matter if you're 400 lbs or 120 lbs. Someone who loves you will love you when you gain weight and when you lose weight.

A man who loves you will never cheat or threaten to cheat "because" of your weight.
A man who loves you will never make you feel that you are unworthy of him.
A man who loves you will never belittle or talk down to you about your weight.
A man who loves you will always want the best for your health and happiness.
A man who loves you will always provide positive support to you in your journey.
A man who loves you will always celebrate your victories and help you move past your failures.

Stand up for yourself. Don't be afraid to be single just because you're with some jerk. I don't care what he says. You CAN and SHOULD have better. Surround yourself with loving friends and family and keep your chin up.

Hold your head up high ladies! Be proud of yourself and surround yourself with the ones who love you, boyfriend or not.

/rant

Replies

  • Bluesmilie
    Bluesmilie Posts: 161 Member
    I agree with you :)
  • arwamya
    arwamya Posts: 304
    very true !
  • fitgirl4life
    fitgirl4life Posts: 111 Member
    So true! It sounds like common sense but so many women allow themselves to be taken advantage of and/or mistreated, thanks for posting this as a reminder that we are worthy of love and respect!
  • debbyrae3
    debbyrae3 Posts: 200 Member
    Agreed! This is a great topic!
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    So true! It sounds like common sense but so many women allow themselves to be taken advantage of and/or mistreated, thanks for posting this as a reminder that we are worthy of love and respect!

    I just got SO irritated this morning when I saw someone post that their boyfriend was threatening to cheat on her because of her weight. You have to demand respect to get respect. I have a lot of friends in relationships with bad men who for whatever reason have decided they can't do better. Just breaks my heart....
  • baypathgradLyns
    baypathgradLyns Posts: 639 Member
    Amen sister!
  • summadmak
    summadmak Posts: 44
    You hit the nail on the head....wish more women would listen to this!!!!
  • MadeToCraveHIM
    MadeToCraveHIM Posts: 213 Member
    Well said!
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    Great post!!!:heart:
  • Aeriel
    Aeriel Posts: 864 Member
    Great post. I wish more women would realize that there are good men out there and you don't have to settle for one who hurts you, be it mentally, emotionally or physically!
  • yellowfairy
    yellowfairy Posts: 207 Member
    I wish women would take this to heart. I see so many on here with such low self esteem (and I can relate to that-don't get me wrong), but you really shouldn't be with someone-who doesn't put you first. Someone who is going to tell you that you are fat and cheat on you and blame it on weight-DOES NOT DESERVE YOU! Now, don't get me wrong-if he lovingly thinks that you need to drop a few because of health reasons and does it with you-that is different. But in general-the stories I see where the girl is asking for advice on here....she should know the answer-leave him if he isn't treating you right. You have to make yourself stand up for yourself.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Great post. I wish more women would realize that there are good men out there and you don't have to settle for one who hurts you, be it mentally, emotionally or physically!

    There are so many great guys out there, and I think a lot of them get shafted for jerks by women who don't believe they deserve better. If more women stood up for themselves, the prevalence of jerkitude would drop dramatically.
  • Deberlin88
    Deberlin88 Posts: 70 Member
    What a great post, Elizabeth! I wish there was a "like" button! LOL I agree with you 100%.
  • emmagooseberry
    emmagooseberry Posts: 1
    Fabulous post. A person does NOT love you if they behave in any of those ways. They only love themselves!
  • sandmart2009
    sandmart2009 Posts: 153 Member
    If she doesn't dump that loser, she'll miss out on Mr. Right.

    Pathetic.
  • Kath712
    Kath712 Posts: 1,263 Member
    Well said!!
  • chickadee2010
    chickadee2010 Posts: 1,389 Member
    I agree!
  • maipai21
    maipai21 Posts: 146
    I was married and settled for a man that treated me this way because of my weight. I wish I had had enough self esteem to leave him earlier but now that I have LIFE IS GRAND and I have someone that loves me the way I DESERVE through thick and thin! Thanks for posting this!!!
  • kwardklinck
    kwardklinck Posts: 1,601
    Hear hear! My hubby was great support during my weight loss. It was my choice to do it and I did it for me, not for him. He's reaping a few benefits of course. It turns him on to be with a woman who has a smaller, tighter body than she did a year ago. He also loves how I walk with more confidence. We flirt a whole lot more than we used to. If I say something about being hot, he's like "Yeah baby you sure are." LOL. He never told me I needed to lose weight but he's really proud of me for doing it.
  • johaleesi
    johaleesi Posts: 55 Member
    As much as it pains me to admit it, I hear what you are saying and I totally agree, however, I am one of those women who have been cheated on and have decided to give him another opportunity time and time again. I keep saying that I keep forgiving him because we have 2 children and I do not want a broken home, but I know deep down I just fear being alone and no one else wanting me. I clearly have issues I need to work through.
  • LoveMy3Boys
    LoveMy3Boys Posts: 562 Member
    OMG I would never put up with that crap.
  • maipai21
    maipai21 Posts: 146
    @johannabr I know the feeling- much like weight loss, when you're "tired of being sick and tired" you will make the necessary changes you need to be happy. Trust me, it's not worth the stay just for the children- devise a plan for your better life and act on it. What kept me going was in order for me to be the best mommy I could be I had to make the best decisions I could for my children. Ultimately that decision was Mommy and Daddy are better off as friends.

    I didn't want my girls to think that the way Daddy treated Mommy with disrespect was ok. Or that Mommy having low self esteem was ok. Further I didn't want them to grow up and become married to someone who would treat them this way. I made the decision to become the woman I wanted them to model...someone strong and happy. There is someone out there who will treat you the way you deserve and if not treat YOURSELF the way you deserve!
  • johaleesi
    johaleesi Posts: 55 Member
    @johannabr I know the feeling- much like weight loss, when you're "tired of being sick and tired" you will make the necessary changes you need to be happy. Trust me, it's not worth the stay just for the children- devise a plan for your better life and act on it. What kept me going was in order for me to be the best mommy I could be I had to make the best decisions I could for my children. Ultimately that decision was Mommy and Daddy are better off as friends.

    I didn't want my girls to think that the way Daddy treated Mommy with disrespect was ok. Or that Mommy having low self esteem was ok. Further I didn't want them to grow up and become married to someone who would treat them this way. I made the decision to become the woman I wanted them to model...someone strong and happy. There is someone out there who will treat you the way you deserve and if not treat YOURSELF the way you deserve!

    Thanks for your words. I am working on my self esteem through my weight loss. It's very low at the moment and it's always been (since I was a teenager) because of my weight issues. I think, and I hope, that when I learn to love myself the way I should, I will be able to turn my life around. Hopefully that day will be here soon :)
  • maipai21
    maipai21 Posts: 146
    Congrats on already taking the first steps to a happier you!! Continuous improvement is the name of the game! You can do it!
  • AprilChampion
    AprilChampion Posts: 184 Member
    i hope you dont mind but I am going to repost this on my facebook page in my notes to remind myself since i dont often get into the forums here...it was very well said. :)
  • danlyn
    danlyn Posts: 157 Member
    johannabr,
    If you are a happier, self-confident mother then your children will be better off even if they're from a broken home. If you've been cheated on more than once by the same man he obviously doesn't have the respect for you that you deserve. He is also sending a message to your children that it's okay to behave this way. If you have a son, I'm sure you don't want him to think what his father does is okay because he will most likely follow the pattern when he is an adult. If you have a daughter, she needs to see you receiving the respect you deserve. I am not doubting that life will be hard as a single mom, but you are SO worth it and so are your children. Be strong and look for a professional to help you through it. I've benefited tremendously in the area of self esteem from seeing a therapist. Congratulations on taking the first step - knowing that things need to change. Best of luck!! Friend request me if you'd like someone to chat with.
  • pammbroo
    pammbroo Posts: 550 Member
    We teach people how to treat us. Well said and very valuable words to anyone who settles (be it male or female) in the name of "love"....

    Great post!
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