getting married n PISSED OFF.....

kalebsmama07
kalebsmama07 Posts: 503
edited September 23 in Chit-Chat
SO IM GETTING MARRIED......but man was i steaming this morning ive been updating the jop that were to have for our wedding n letting her know ill be paying as soon as i get the money i.e tax return....so i get an email this morning n such sayin i havent heard from you guys in awhile , i thought u told me you were gonna send a payment last week and this also being what she wrote. .(Just to let you know... if you are filing a tax return claiming itemized deductions, including for home-mortgage interest, charitable deductions, medical expenses, etc., the IRS will not start processing those returns until Feburary 14th or later. The IRS attributes the late start of the filing season to changes in the tax laws for 2010 that were finished in late December. I suspect that none of us will receive our returns in a timely manner. My return has been completed since January 14th and my accountant is still waiting to file it. I was told not to count on him filing it until late February.) ...so i wrote her back by saying that i never told you that i was sending a payment and that i had been waiting on my tax return to send you money and that i will do as soon as i recieve it...n that h&r block is a qualifed tax service and they explained 8-15 day today being the 8 th day...i also proceeded to say that i was looking for a jop not a tax accountant...man this lady is being pushy...im almost tempted to tell her to take her services n shove them where the sun dont shine...who r u to tell me when n where ill recieve my tax money n to her that was good enough...almost pushing me to pay her sooner...im mean really...whats that all sound like to you guys... sorry for this being long but man im still PISSED! i dont wanna drop her services cause she is the cheapest around... p.s i know this is only one thing so i guess things could be alot worse lol...i understand she needs money to reserve date ...but i have to wait to pay her to reserve when i recieve my tax money i have no choice...i have not recieved any service from her yet! so keep this in mind

Replies

  • cakeordeath
    cakeordeath Posts: 229 Member
    well, if you can and know where to look (im not sure on this you might want to google it) but any notery puplic can marry you. my father was one and he married a few people. i would look it up so you dont have to deal with people being jerks. =) congrats on getting married!
  • CraftyGirl4
    CraftyGirl4 Posts: 571 Member
    It sounds like this woman is expecting payment, and you're not paying her. She's frustrated too. Most people will not wait until you get the money to try to collect their payment. In the world of business, the person providing the services expect the person who is accepting the services to be able to pay. No one likes not being paid. You can understand that from your tax return situation. You have to wait, and this is all frustrating you too.

    Now, what I would suggest is getting in touch with this woman and telling her that you're unable to pay the full amount until your tax return has been processed. You may not be filing with itemized deductions, and she has no idea as to what your tax situation is. But, she would probably feel better and somewhat get off your back if you gave her part of the payment now. Most people are reasonable. CALL and talk to her. Don't e-mail. That's so impersonal.
  • LFern
    LFern Posts: 141
    she's probably cheap because nobody wants to work with her because of her attitude! Good Luck to you!
  • losterhout
    losterhout Posts: 4 Member
    I would definitely try and find someone else. We had a JOP marry us back in 2006 and she was lovely and very nice to deal with. If you still have time, try and find someone who doesn't make you angry - that's the last thing you want on your wedding day!
  • skygoddess86
    skygoddess86 Posts: 487 Member
    Totally obnoxious. When is the wedding and why do you have to pay her before that. My daughter got married in September by a minister, $100, we didn't have to pre pay.
  • cassandra77
    cassandra77 Posts: 120
    Sounds like my jop... she turned out to be a hugeee b$*@h! But my wedding was still beautiful so if she is the only one in your budget you may have to grin and bare it :/
  • mixmastermolly
    mixmastermolly Posts: 272
    It sounds like there was just some miscommunicating. My tax return also won't be processed until February 14th because of itemized deductions and legislation not being passed until December. It sounds to me like she was just giving you a heads up on that in case you didn't know. On the other hand, it's her fault that she didn't have a contract signed with expected dates for payment. Sounds like she isn't the brightest business woman.
  • punkrockmama
    punkrockmama Posts: 142 Member
    You're getting married in May, which is a very busy wedding season.
    Honestly it sounds like a lot of high emotions and miscommunications. I'd try a phone call, as emails cannot carry a tone, and can very easily be misinterpreted. Or better yet, meet with her in person.
    She doesn't want to miss an opportunity to get paid, the same way you don't want to miss an opportunity to book a JOP.
  • rebecky27
    rebecky27 Posts: 842 Member
    We were married by a JOP and we didn't pay him until just a few days before the wedding when we went through a quick rehersal.

    I think a quick phone call should help get things settled out. Good luck and hope this gets resolved for you soon!
  • Dtho5159
    Dtho5159 Posts: 1,054 Member
    Im sorry you're going thru all this!! Our JOP went to high school with my mom and we met him at his house for a meeting of what we wanted in our vows etc and we paid him then. It was about a month before the wedding and he didn't even ask for it then, we just gave it to him. Her wanting to be paid 3 months in advance is crazy because a lot can go on in the next 3 months.
  • Becky011
    Becky011 Posts: 384
    It sounds stressful :( I hope it all works out ok!!
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
    It sounds like this woman is expecting payment, and you're not paying her. She's frustrated too. Most people will not wait until you get the money to try to collect their payment. In the world of business, the person providing the services expect the person who is accepting the services to be able to pay. No one likes not being paid. You can understand that from your tax return situation. You have to wait, and this is all frustrating you too.

    Don't e-mail. That's so impersonal.
    Agreed!!
    It sounds to me like she was just giving you a heads up on that in case you didn't know.
    My first thought as well, I didn't see it as anything but helpful info she was sharing since she was in the same boat.

    Calmly look at the situation from her point of view, she's a business person expecting to be paid for her services just like any other business, you pay first and then receive the item or services. I don't think you'll find many businesses offering up their services that allow the payment to be paid with the mentality of 'I'll pay you when I can.' They couldn't stay in business doing that.
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