About to cry....

bsoxluvr
bsoxluvr Posts: 183 Member
edited September 23 in Motivation and Support
Seriously, I am beyond the point of frustration and am about to have a minor breakdown.

I have been working out for over a year now and lost about 40 pounds between January and August of last year. I took a month or so off to get married and came back from my honeymoon having only put on about 3 pounds. Awesome! I thought it would be easy to get back into the swing of things and continue on my journey. It took a while for me to get back to the point of dedication that I had prior to the wedding, but I got there in November and managed to loose another 5 pounds. Then the holidays hit. Not so bad, I gained a few pounds since I was eating the treats and hurt my back which kept me out of the gym for 2 weeks. Come January 2nd I was back in the groove and working out 5-6 days a week, watching my calories and keeping to a pretty healthy diet. FF to February 4th and nothing has changed. I always stay within my calorie goal, including eating back at least half my workout calories, I watch my sodium and am always around 1000 milligrams below my allowance, I switch up my work outs, incorporate weight training, eat small meals.....it all sounds like I'm on track, right? After a solid 3 weeks of this (I got sick in the beginning of the month so missed a few days of working out) I have nothing to show for it. NOTHING. The scale doesn't move, the tape measure doesn't move and my BMI doesn't move (I have a fat loss monitor as well). What's the point of all this hard work if I can't have anything to show for it? I just want to cry and this point and needed to get that out. This weekend is going to have a lot of activity and I don't see the point of torturing myself and being good if I'm still going to have the same results.

Oh, and to top it off, I have reached out to numerous trainers for advice and can't even get someone to talk to me. Maybe I have a sign on my forehead I'm not aware of? GRRRRR!

Thanks for listening.

Replies

  • 4alison4
    4alison4 Posts: 54
    I have no idea. I feel your frustration...I'm sort of in the same boat. Maybe we've reached our "happy weight"?
  • sunstreaks22
    sunstreaks22 Posts: 40
    That does sound extremely frustrating...I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. Remember though, even if you're not making an progress on the scale right now (and you will soon!), you are living a MUCH healthier life than in the past. Your body is thanking you for helping it become healthier, even if it hasn't shown it yet. Keep doing what you're doing, and remember, despite what the scale says, you're doing a great job. Don't give up yet!
  • anolan807
    anolan807 Posts: 273 Member
    Don't get frustrated take a deep breath... I don't understand the entire eating back all workout calorie things. I know depending on who you talk to is what you should do. You might want to try a few days not all days but just a few not eating them back if you can help it. That might move your metabolism a bit. Plus is your working out your probably gaining muscle which will not have any scales moving. Hope that helps a little..
  • JRIV60
    JRIV60 Posts: 732 Member
    This is the sentence that stuck with me "I have been working out for over a year now and lost about 40 pounds between January and August of last year."
    You have lost 40lbs! :noway: That is not an easy feat. You need to give yourself some credit and at the same time cut yourself some slack. Give it a few more weeks and do not give up!
  • clioandboy
    clioandboy Posts: 963 Member
    firstly congrats on your success! you have done brilliantly!! just keep at it you are doing it, you HAVE to be doing good for your bod
  • ajrodriguez
    ajrodriguez Posts: 1
    Listen, I have felt the exact same way before and I gave into the frustration and let myself go after I had put all this work in. Now I'm back to ground zero. You don't want to do that. Remember working out is for your health too. Maybe your body has hit a plateu and it just needs a solid month to get things going again. No matter what. Remember that you have come this far and do not do what I did. You will regret it!

    Stay strong. Feel good about working out and I'm sure things will work out.
  • mamafoofer
    mamafoofer Posts: 60
    I have heard, I think Jillian Michaels, say that is you hit a plateu you should eat more for a few days, then go back on your plan-I think she said it kick starts your metabolism. And remember, all the working out isn't just to lose wieght, but it is to keep you healthy as well- good for the heart! So while you might not be seeing weight loss results, it is helping you in other ways. It is a never ending struggle for some of us (myself included, obviously). You can't let it get you down, just let it make you more determined!
  • Neliel
    Neliel Posts: 507 Member
    Lets fight our scales together! I'm in exactly the same place. 6 weeks of disappointment and wanting to throw those scales out the window. We're NOT finished yet and we're not going to be beaten by stubborn fat!
  • gussmi
    gussmi Posts: 13 Member
    First, Calm down. there are a number of reasons why your scale weight is steady. Try changing up your exercise routine. And if you haven't already done so, try weightlifting. (You don't have to do heavy weights). Weight lifting will help turn some of the remaining fat into muscle, which should reflect what you see in the mirror

    Second, you don't have to eat back the calories you burn off, I don't know why everyone thinks that. As long as you are eating more than 1,200 calories a day, in order to prevent your body from gaining weight due to being in starvation mode, you will be fine over the long run.

    Finally, you didn't do this for a number on the scale, you committed to a lifestyle change. That involves being healthy and staying fit. Go with that and put the scale away for a while. Once you commit to staying in the best possible shape you can and follow steps one and two, you will start to get back on you weight goal track in no time. Look, I am currently in a weight plaeteu now and they seem like they last forever. Trust me, they don't

    Stay positive and don't go backward. (Weightlift, use light weights)
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
    Maybe you need to consider either slowing your weightloss goal, or eating back more of your calories? I hit a plataeu for a while in Dec/Jan and actually bumped out of it eating a bit more (just about 100 cals a day) and even though my goals say ".8lbs" a week, I'm still on my steady 1lbs. So maybe you just need a few more cals, even if its only a few days a week?
  • gussmi
    gussmi Posts: 13 Member
    I agree, You don't have to eat back your calories.
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    you have done amazing! Losing 40lbs and making some major life changes.
    The only thing I can think of it you have had so many back and forth changes over the last few months that your body is being slow to react. This is a good thing. I know it may seem bad on the side of kicking in weight loss, but on the flip side you have maintained that weigt loss within a few lbs despite all these changes. That is a huge accomplishment. Most people don't come through a honeymoon, two holidays and a back injury only 3 lbs heavier.

    I think you should stick with it and find a way to jump start your body. Maybe do a cleanse, or eat some extra calories and work out twice as hard, I don't know, but keep doing what you're doing or you may find by summer you are 10lbs heavier instead of 3.

    Best of luck to you. You have done great, so keep going.
  • Charrisse
    Charrisse Posts: 163
    Maybe your body is just gearing up .. i posted htis before about myself - that it takes me a while to begin losing and seeing reults. If you lost 40 pounds Jan to Aug you are doing great! Just keep trucking. Your body will respond, it did before!
    Avg out your weight loss for the year and you almost avg'd a pound a week.. thats pretty dang good!
  • freerange
    freerange Posts: 1,722 Member
    Just looking at your avatar I can’t tell what shape you are in, but what are your goals, and what is your shape now? Maybe you are where your body wants to be and you should be on more of a maintenance program. Maybe you are not eating enough? Maybe you are not working out enough. You have to be realistic with yourself, is further weight loss really what you need? I have no idea, just throwing things out there. It can really only be one of three things, to many calories, not enough exercise, or your body is in starvation mode and conserving fat.

    Think of it as a challenge, mix things up, see what works,,,,,,, here is something that just popped in my head,,,,, Honey moon?????? Could there be a baby on the way and you don’t know it yet?
  • SheliaN1960
    SheliaN1960 Posts: 454 Member
    Hi and please don't cry! As women we tend to use this method as the last resort. How do I know that....well I will tell you that it has taken me 5 years, yes 5 years to even get what it takes to get started. The only thing that I can think of is maybe your water intake. Common rule of thumb is 1/2 your body weight. I notice the weeks that I do not drink enough water the scale number slows down. Hang in there and do not be so hard on yourself!!! Best wishes!
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
    1st you are living healthy. Its not about depriving yourself. You come across like you are punishing yourself for exchanging bad habits for good ones. Please don't do that to yourself. I'm glad you came up here to vent because right now what you need is a clearer mind to see the whole picture. The weight loss is going to come. Thats a given because if you are doing everything you said then its in the works. Living healthy isn't easy being unhealthy is. There is definitely going to be some ups and downs, but stick with it. You know within yourself that everything you've worked hard for is going to pay off. You are just getting impatient and thats more than understandable. But you hang in there. Seriously. You've been at this too long to let go of everything you've accomplished.

    Now maybe you are plateauing which isn't really a bad thing. What I'm hearing is I'm not gaining. I'm maintaining. So maybe you need to drop your calories by 200 for a week or two and see if that jump starts something. I can't view your diary but right now thats my only suggestion.

    Keep your head up. You are doing great.
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
    I agree, You don't have to eat back your calories.

    No- I said you should eat MORE of your exercise calories. I eat all of mine. I'm almost always within 30-50 cals of my daily goal, and go over 20 rather than under 100. Sure I might not HAVE to, but I like food, I like fueling my body.

    And through my plataeus I've found that my "starvation mode" seems to kick in when I have a net under 1300. Everyone is different, but I find many more people who have had sucess eating a bit more than a bit less- if only because so many of us err on the conservative side (over estimating what we eat, under estimating what we burn) eating less is equated with weight loss, which makes logical sense, but sometimes our bodies need more to do what we are asking of them.

    So my suggestion is to try to eat 1-200 more calories 2-3 times a week. Just my $.02
  • SunshineCherie
    SunshineCherie Posts: 17
    Take it easy on yourself. You are doing something to improve your life, and that is the most important things. It took me roughly a month to see any change that wasn't going backwards, and it was only a pounds and an inch or two dropped. Just keep at it. You will get there. Keep telling yourself that you can do it, and you will.
  • CombatVet_Armywife
    CombatVet_Armywife Posts: 300 Member
    I feel your frustration. I have been stuck in a plateau for over 2 months now. Try that one. 2 whole months. No change on the scale, no change with measurements, no change in my BMI (I have a scale that measures that too).

    •I completely overhauled my workout routine (doing P90X now)
    •Increased my calorie intake (as SO many suggest in order to break through a plateau)
    •I eat clean and healthy foods (aside from a small treat like pudding every now and then @ 130 cals)
    •Gave up coffee (I only drink 1 cup in the morning, but finally gave up that fight as of Monday, otherwise I would literally sleep all day)
    •AND gave up wine (even though I had already cut it back to 1 night on the weekends since starting with MFP)

    Many many changes, even since starting with MFP.....and no luck breaking through this plateau. If anyone knows frustration to the point of tears, I'd be one. BUT....as others have mentioned....we have to remember:

    1-This is a journey for a lifestyle change
    2-Staying active with our workouts & eating properly will pay off for the rest of our lives, our bodies will (and do) thank us!
    3-We can keep pushing and reach that point where our bodies FINALLY cooperate......OR..........we can give up and guarantee we never reach our goals.

    Trust me....I know everything you're feeling....and I've reached those low points. But I know if I give up, then I will certainly NEVER see the results I am looking for.

    I also read an article awhile back when I started with MFP....the author mentioned one of the biggest reasons people are unable to reach their goal is because they give up too soon. They get stuck behind a wall and don't see the results they want, so they give up not realizing their bodies just needed time....that their moment of breaking through that wall was just around the corner, but they gave up too soon. That thought alone helps keep me pushing. Good luck to you....you are definitely NOT alone! :)
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
    I feel your frustration. I have been stuck in a plateau for over 2 months now. Try that one. 2 whole months. No change on the scale, no change with measurements, no change in my BMI (I have a scale that measures that too).


    Wow. You are such an inspiration!

    Just a thought (and I'm sure you've tried a million and a half things and everyone gives suggestions but just in case it helps-) Have you tried 1-2 weeks of easy/lighter exercise? My workouts are distance running training programs and almost all of them have a "rest week" where my mileage tapers a little and I have an extra day off- so I will still be exercising but my body has extra recovery time because my long run is an hour instead of an hour and a half, and my middle runs are 30 min instead of 40. I don't see this in a lot of workout programs, but I've noticed my biggest losses are usually the week after this period. It's every 3rd week for my programs (so FULL week, FULL week, REST week, etc) if you want to try it.

    Anyway just wanted to throw that out there. Good luck- and Freakin way to stick to your guns lady!
  • Bmorrow
    Bmorrow Posts: 169
    O my goodness girl...look at your tracker, you've lost 35 lbs.! I would hardly call that no progress! Maybe you are just jurning into a muscle machine. Now don't take this the wrong way ( I know I can't inflick my southern personality with the typed word) but my suggesstion to you is this: Put your big girl panties on and get over it! You've done a fantastic job and whether the weight keeps falling off or not, just think about how much healthier you are and I'm sure how much better you fill. Keep up the good work. I'm striving to do what you have already done...lose 35 lbs.! Don't look for excuses to quit and lose all the benefits from your hard work.
    Enjoy your weekend!:wink:
  • bsoxluvr
    bsoxluvr Posts: 183 Member
    I feel your frustration. I have been stuck in a plateau for over 2 months now. Try that one. 2 whole months. No change on the scale, no change with measurements, no change in my BMI (I have a scale that measures that too).


    Wow. You are such an inspiration!

    Just a thought (and I'm sure you've tried a million and a half things and everyone gives suggestions but just in case it helps-) Have you tried 1-2 weeks of easy/lighter exercise? My workouts are distance running training programs and almost all of them have a "rest week" where my mileage tapers a little and I have an extra day off- so I will still be exercising but my body has extra recovery time because my long run is an hour instead of an hour and a half, and my middle runs are 30 min instead of 40. I don't see this in a lot of workout programs, but I've noticed my biggest losses are usually the week after this period. It's every 3rd week for my programs (so FULL week, FULL week, REST week, etc) if you want to try it.

    Anyway just wanted to throw that out there. Good luck- and Freakin way to stick to your guns lady!

    I haven't tried slowing things down just yet, but that might be the next step. After reading everyone's encouraging words (THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH) I'm going to keep pushing this next week and see if anything happens, while also adding a few more (ok maybe more like 100 more) calories to my day. Thank you for the great tips and the push I needed!
  • bsoxluvr
    bsoxluvr Posts: 183 Member
    O my goodness girl...look at your tracker, you've lost 35 lbs.! I would hardly call that no progress! Maybe you are just jurning into a muscle machine. Now don't take this the wrong way ( I know I can't inflick my southern personality with the typed word) but my suggesstion to you is this: Put your big girl panties on and get over it! You've done a fantastic job and whether the weight keeps falling off or not, just think about how much healthier you are and I'm sure how much better you fill. Keep up the good work. I'm striving to do what you have already done...lose 35 lbs.! Don't look for excuses to quit and lose all the benefits from your hard work.
    Enjoy your weekend!:wink:

    How can anyone take that wrong! That was an awesome kick that put a smile on my face. Thank you!!
  • tgh1914
    tgh1914 Posts: 1,036 Member
    I agree, You don't have to eat back your calories.

    No- I said you should eat MORE of your exercise calories. I eat all of mine. I'm almost always within 30-50 cals of my daily goal, and go over 20 rather than under 100. Sure I might not HAVE to, but I like food, I like fueling my body.

    And through my plataeus I've found that my "starvation mode" seems to kick in when I have a net under 1300. Everyone is different, but I find many more people who have had sucess eating a bit more than a bit less- if only because so many of us err on the conservative side (over estimating what we eat, under estimating what we burn) eating less is equated with weight loss, which makes logical sense, but sometimes our bodies need more to do what we are asking of them.

    So my suggestion is to try to eat 1-200 more calories 2-3 times a week. Just my $.02

    Exactly! The closer you get to your healthy weight, the more important it becomes to eat your exercise calories. Your body will be relying on the food as fuel more so than body reserves - cuz you've lost so much of them. Also, the closer you get to your healthy weight, the less quickly you should expect to see weight come off. Your body just naturally wants to hold on to that last part of body fat - I know that personally. :smile:

    In fact, have you adjusted your weight loss settings & profile settings recently? If you haven't since before the major part of your weight loss you could have some inaccurate goal calorie levels.

    In any case, you look to be doing great. Congrats!
  • Kalamitykate
    Kalamitykate Posts: 34 Member
    Oh my gosh, are we twins? Last spring the weight was just dropping off of me. Then in June I hit 150 (35 pounds down) and have not lost another pound since. I've tried working out more and less, eating more and less and nothing has moved the scale. I was really frustrated after Christmas then I had a couple of revelations. The first was that I weigh 35 pounds less than I did this time last year and that rocks. Yesterday I ran 6 miles!! This time last year I could barely do a quarter mile. The last month I've reengaged by shifting my goals from weight goals to fitness goals. I'm working on lowering my run times, and looking at signing up for a triathlon and 10K this spring/summer. If I'm going to be 150 pounds at least I'll be the fittest 150 I can be. And if my doctor tells me that I'm still 5 pounds over healthy weight I'll just tell him that subtracting my 14 pounds of boobs puts me at a perfectly healthy weight :laugh:

    Hang in there. You'll get there eventually and even if you never lose another pound your body is so much happier and healthier now than it used to be. Cheers :drinker:
  • Bluedimplett
    Bluedimplett Posts: 52 Member
    This may be a strange questions... but are you getting enough sleep? I've read a lot of articles about getting enough sleep and being able to lose weight.

    I had issues with the scale from early december up until mid january. I was going up and down the same pound. I was getting between 4-5 hrs of sleep and it was beginning to take a toll. I finally started gettting in 7-8 hours and suddenly i saw the scale move down. (i've lost 5lbs since) :) I also switched my workouts from 6 strenous workouts to 3 strenouse and 3 light.

    Hope this helps.
  • sauza
    sauza Posts: 159 Member
    I, naturally, read the other posts before writing my response, no need from repetition from me, right? So many were so dead on, do not reduce calories, your body will save itself by slowing its metabolism. Mixing up the rountines, perfect. Happily, I do feel I have something to add: I jumpstart my system when I plateau by doing the unthinkable :) I workout aerobically longer and harder than I think possible (I also increase calories to support this increase in activity) - just for a while. When a trainer suggested that to me years ago, I was already doing more than I felt I could, I wanted to choke him. I had been a trainer myself, so I felt confident in arguing with him, he then suggested that I prove him wrong. Well I tried, since it was only going to be for about 10 days, not the rest of my life, I really hit the aerobics, I could face an increase just for a bit. Well, it was like pounds fell off. When I dropped back to my regular routine, I continued to lose at my pre-plateau rate. Good luck!
  • kimcat73
    kimcat73 Posts: 687 Member
    I, naturally, read the other posts before writing my response, no need from repetition from me, right? So many were so dead on, do not reduce calories, your body will save itself by slowing its metabolism. Mixing up the rountines, perfect. Happily, I do feel I have something to add: I jumpstart my system when I plateau by doing the unthinkable :) I workout aerobically longer and harder than I think possible (I also increase calories to support this increase in activity) - just for a while. When a trainer suggested that to me years ago, I was already doing more than I felt I could, I wanted to choke him. I had been a trainer myself, so I felt confident in arguing with him, he then suggested that I prove him wrong. Well I tried, since it was only going to be for about 10 days, not the rest of my life, I really hit the aerobics, I could face an increase just for a bit. Well, it was like pounds fell off. When I dropped back to my regular routine, I continued to lose at my pre-plateau rate. Good luck!

    This sounds like a good idea also ...... thanks!

    And bsoxluvr I agree with most of what everyone else has said (except the guy saying not to eat your calories, I'm a believer in eating them, lol). Chin up, you'll get there!
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