Anyone suffer from an eating disorder?

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I began losing weight in May of 2010. It started out really innocent, and I honestly didn't expect to lose a pound. Then, I figured out that the less I ate....the less I had to work to burn it off. That's when the numbers began to rapidly drop. These days I aim to consume less than 500 calories a day. On my off days, which I seem to be having a lot of lately, I go way above normal....sometimes more than 2,000 calories. It's a terrible cycle. However, lately, I am noticing that my health is declining. I feel weak all the time and my body physically hurts. I feel down and out, irritable, achey, tired....emotionless. My life revolves around numbers and counting calories all day long. I even count the calories in a piece of gum...that is how bad it has gotten. Anyone know how to get out of this rut and start losing the healthy way? I am ready to make that change, but am absolutely terrified of gaining. I am looking for any healthy snack suggestions, quick and easy healthy meals, maybe someone could tell me how many calories I am supposed to be consuming too? and how many should I be burning? Because I honestly have no idea. If it helps, I am 20 years old, 4 feet 10 inches tall, and currently 93.2 lbs.

Replies

  • Mads1997
    Mads1997 Posts: 1,494 Member
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    how many calories does MFP give you to eat?
  • camille45
    camille45 Posts: 106 Member
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    hey sweetie, congrats on realizing that you may be doing more harm to yourself than good and acknowledging that you may have an eating disorder. Might help to consult someone who specializes in this area, or a nutritionist to get you back on track, maybe also a counselor. You cant live your life in fear of food, because we have to eat. Learn to feel empowered about food, not be afraid of it. Good Luck!
  • Sandikh
    Sandikh Posts: 116
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    When I was a teenager I suffered from anorexia. I felt exactly the way that you are feeling now. The hard truth sweetie is that the very best thing you can do for yourself is seek the help of a professional counselor that specializes in eating disorders.
    I am so impressed with your bravery to share this with all of your friends on MFP. I know how hard this must have been for you.:flowerforyou:
  • POOKIE19
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    At first like it or not you will gain weight. try using the mfp to preplan your meals for the next day. Make the meals and put them in rubbermaid containers. Never go under 1200 calories. Add a 30 minute workout. The first month will be hard bc your scared of gaining weight and your gonna want to go back to old habits but keep it up and it soon becomes routine.
  • littlelionesslove
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    SEE A PROFESSIONAL. I'm going this next week as soon as I'm done with this flu bug. I've struggled with an ED for several years now. A nutritionist should be able to help you...even a counselor/therapist type person. Please get help because the longer you go without it, the harder it is to overcome it. Muchlove...sending positive thoughts your way <3
  • shannonshock13
    shannonshock13 Posts: 355 Member
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    I don't understand why you want to LOSE weight. the weight that you are at seems fine and may even be a tiny bit on the thin side your your height.

    You may want to seek out a therapist and try to get to the root of your eating disorder.

    If you want ideas for clean healthy eating you can look at my food diary (i'm 5'4 i weigh a lot more than you though but my calorie goal is 1,200 a day)

    that was very brave of you to share that <3
    :flowerforyou:
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
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    Go seek help! As a person who has struggled with EDs for the past 16 years...professional help is the only way to go before it spirals out of control even more.
  • Kirstie_C26
    Kirstie_C26 Posts: 490 Member
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    hi,well done for admitting your issues :) this site is fab and can really help along with the awesome support networks from others on the site im sure we can all aid u in finding a way to aid u in your goals :)

    feel free to add me

    best wishes
    Kirstie xx
  • sehncw99
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    I used to have an eating disorder too. About 5 years ago i started out weighing 140 lbs and thought i needed to lose weight so i tried dieting it wasnt good enough for me so i began to count calories with that it went down hill from there. i was counting my calories over 100 times a day!! thats all I could think about was food and numbers and what was i going to eat later that day, did i go over yet. I was working out 3 times a day!! i got down to about 92 lbs. my parents were so stressed because of what i was putting them thru they took me to get help. i slowly gained weight back and felt amazing. well 5 years later i let myself go..142 lbs now and i feel awful but this time i am losing weight the Healhy way and couldnt feel better about it. I sometimes worry that my old habits will return but i am dedicated to turn everything around and keep the weight off. I know you can do this, and i am not saying you will gain all your weight back like me i just went thru another difficult stage in life. Family members passing away and relationships and so on. I am so proud of you for trying to turn your life around because its a great feeling. good luck hun!!
  • atheiss
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    I think it helps to slowly increase the number of calories/day. I think you need at least 1200 calories a day. I started running (and you have to eat in order to do this!) and I realized it made me feel much better than when I wouldn't eat. It is very brave of you to admit you have an issue with food, it took me years (and I live with it everyday) to realize I had an eating disorder. Hang in there and just concentrate on making yourself feel better.
  • Booper83
    Booper83 Posts: 70 Member
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    Go by what MFP is telling you to eat. 1200 calories? Then you should eat that and then if you exercise aim for burning only 300 calories (no more), so your total calories a day 900 after exercise. Eat something for breakfast or coffee. Eat a salad, sandwich with whole wheat, tuna with veggies, chicken salad, whole wheat wrap, etc. And then for dinner a meat, veggies, and healthy carb. Stick to that. You have lost way more weight than you should have I'm guessing. And, yes, I know how it feels when the weight and inches fall off and it feels awesome. But, you need energy too from food. So, try that plan, and you should maintain. Hope this helps. And congrats for realizing that you do need a change. And for snacks...almonds, yogurt, v8 low sodium, berries, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, celery, etc. Good luck girl!
  • loganaw
    loganaw Posts: 62 Member
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    Thanks for all of your input and support guys. :) It really does help to hear from each of you! I thought maybe if i started eating normal again it would be as if I never starved myself at all but I have found that is definitely not the case. I eat one normal meal and I get the worst stomach pains ever and then I can't eat for the rest of the day from feeling so bloated. No one knows about my eating habits or that I over-exercise at all....I've hinted around to my best friends and my boyfriend but they don't really take it seriously because I don't LOOK like I have any sort of disordered eating. My parents are becoming weary of it though so they've been trying to get me to eat all kinds of vegetables and small meals. I have my own drawer in the refrigerator now with tupperware containers filled with small amounts of food. It's almost scary to me all of these steps we're having to go through to get me back to normal. It's even scarier knowing that the damage I've done internally may not be reversible. I'm not sure how many calories MFP recommends that I consume because I changed it all around whenever I first joined but I am going to change it back tonight. I am really glad all of you are supportive and know where I'm coming from. It means a lot! And as for seeking professional help, I keep telling myself...."there is nothing wrong with you. YOU wouldn't have a disorder. that only happens to girls on tv or celebrities" but now I realize it can happen to anyone. I am going to consider professional help but am kind of afraid of being "put away" for a while. I've seen the documentaries.... and it looks so scary. :(
  • Serafimangel
    Serafimangel Posts: 174 Member
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    go to a doctor/proffessional something. I would like to say relisation is a big step but you actually need to act on that. I was anorexic and knew I was, it took my periods stopping and a good few fainting spells to start eating again, and that wasnt cos I wanted to, it was cos i was forced to. My hair started falling out, my periods stopped, my veins went blue, my friends felt alienated etc (I was eating under 1000 calories a day and exercising an hour and a half a day, im 5ft9). You need to eat more, if you dont a scary spell in the hopital or worse awaits you.
    I can totally empathise, i even refused to steal a chip off of other people's plates at my worst and I still have that little anorexic voice in my head, after memorising the calories for literally thousands of foods, Its hard not to count calories every single day.
    Try to get enough protien, and iron, you're probably anemic as well because of your lack of food so red meat, spinach and broccoli are good for this, it may help with the tiredness. Being anorexic is all about control, I had to control ever little bit of food that went into my mouth, if you can maybe switch this to a different thing, now I try to get enough grams of protien a day and lower my salt as well as counting calories, so I dont get too obsessive over the calories.
    It's frustrating sometimes doing it the healthy way but your skin will look better and you will fell better. Anorexia does make you short tempered, depressed, irratable etc as well, so mentally you will feel better if you eat better.
    What kind of foods do you really like? Generally there are ways of working really yummy food into a really good regime. If you have any problems, support or want any good meal ideas, just message me.
  • merB89
    merB89 Posts: 122
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    Hi! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am sometimes afraid that I will spiral into unhealthy habits by counting calories, but then I remember that my body is the GREATEST gift given to me. It is the one thing I truly own, It can do anything! But you have to nourish and take care of it. Think of your food as fuel. You can do it!
  • newmeat30
    newmeat30 Posts: 766 Member
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    (((BIG HUGS)))

    You are a brave girl for sharing your story (so are all the other lovely women who have shared theirs too). I wish you the very best on your journey to a healthy lifestyle. Please seek some professional help or at the very least share with your parents what you just shared with us so that they can help you make the step to get help. :flowerforyou:
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
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    And as for seeking professional help, I keep telling myself...."there is nothing wrong with you. YOU wouldn't have a disorder. that only happens to girls on tv or celebrities" but now I realize it can happen to anyone. I am going to consider professional help but am kind of afraid of being "put away" for a while. I've seen the documentaries.... and it looks so scary. :(

    I'm so glad you can say this. There is nothing wrong with YOU, there's just a little problem in the way your mindset is shaped right now. A professional will help you, and I think you have a very low risk of being 'put away' as you mentioned. You have the WILL to change yourself and you have the will to become healthier! This will help you so much. I was bulimic throughout high school, I am 25 now and I still have a little trouble in my mind with it, though I haven't done the action for years. It is very difficult to overcome and you have every right to seek out all the help options you can.

    I certainly hope your parents help support you, it sounds like they are good people. Please take care of yourself and know that this is a slow path to recovery, but it's very possible. Keep your chin up, girl!
  • jaspiel
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    Definitely seek professional help. There are lots of different types of services that range from mild to more intensive, but a counselor can also help you decide what will work best for you.

    There are also often lots of support or educational groups that you can attend. Therapeutic groups are great because you realize you are not alone in what your going through and you learn from your peers as well as professionals. You have accomplished the hardest part: Acknowledging that something needs to change in order to benefit yourself.

    You are very brave for finally coming to terms with this and you've already started seeking help. Mayoclinic.com offers a lot of resources on eating disorders and nutrition. Alexian Brothers (http://www.alexianbrothershealth.org/services/abbhh/ourservices/eating-disorders/index.aspx) also offers a lot of information on eating disorders. There are so many types of disordered eating as well that even emotional eating could fall into that category.

    As for changing your eating habits, definitely talk with a nutritionist, which a counselor may be able to help you set up as well. You body is used to eating minimal amounts of food, which means you will need to slowly re-integrate calories and food, otherwise, as you've noticed, you won't feel well. As you begin to eat healthy and reach a safe goal weight, you will find your body will function much more efficiently and you'll feel better.

    I hope this helps. I know its a lot but I speak as a professional, which is why I strongly encourage you to seek help. If you are attending a community college or university often times the school will offer a certain amount of counseling services for free. Like I said before, you've already accomplished one of the hardest parts, which is acknowledging the need for change.