Another person trying despratly to lose weight.

GoreJessTina
GoreJessTina Posts: 10
edited September 23 in Introduce Yourself
Hello everyone. I joined this site by recommendation of another bulimic. I will now be able to keep track of my weight-loss so I do not do it in an unhealthy way.

I will post my last check in so you can see where I am at.

*02/03 16:30
Weight: 126.6 LBS
Body Fat: 18.7 LBS
Water: 59.3%
Bone Mass: 5.0 LBS
BMI: 18.1%
Goal Weight: 110.0 LBS (BodyFat MIN: 107.9 Calc MIN: 103.6854)

Replies

  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    At 5'10" why on earth would you want to go down to 110, your BMI is already under the normal "healthy" rate of 18.5. Ideal weigh for a woman of 5'10" is about 150 lbs.

    You should be trying to gain weight in a healthy way. You said you are hear to lose weight in a healthy way but anymore weight loss at your size is NOT healthy. You may want to talk to someone as this is a serious matter.
  • You don't need this site, you need to see someone about your bulimia/anorexia, you're thin enough considering how tall you are.. please get some professional help!
  • scagneti
    scagneti Posts: 707 Member
    At 5'10" why on earth would you want to go down to 110, your BMI is already under the normal "healthy" rate of 18.5. Ideal weigh for a woman of 5'10" is about 150 lbs.

    You should be trying to gain weight in a healthy way. You said you are hear to lose weight in a healthy way but anymore weight loss at your size is NOT healthy. You may want to talk to someone as this is a serious matter.

    Ditto.

    Is that you in the picture? You don't have any fat left to lose!
  • heather0mc
    heather0mc Posts: 4,656 Member
    i don't know what to make of this.

    if you are really here to start a healthier lifestyle than that is amazing! i am very happy for you.

    however, i wish you would use this site as a tool to help you eat correctly, not to lose more weight. to know what it feels like to live life free of your disease and to be truly happy with yourself.

    if you have an eating disorder and do not address it, it will kill you. you must get help.

    inner beauty is not for ugly people. inner beauty is something you must embrace as a woman and use it to get through good times and bad. inner beauty is one of the most beautiful things to have - it makes you shine.

    i hope you are really ok :flowerforyou:
  • Yeah the picture is me. facebook.com/GoreJessTina feel free to add me.... but yeah, I CAN and WILL lose weight. I guess I shouldn't have posted in the introduction forum. :/

    Thanks anyway I will hang out in fun and games.
  • CalorieNinja
    CalorieNinja Posts: 645 Member
    Yeah the picture is me. facebook.com/GoreJessTina feel free to add me.... but yeah, I CAN and WILL lose weight. I guess I shouldn't have posted in the introduction forum. :/

    Thanks anyway I will hang out in fun and games.

    I couldn't imagine going through what you have gone through to get to be as skinny as you are now. You are so tiny now, I know your disease won't let you see it but you look smaller then most super models! I wish you the best of luck in getting treatment even though I know you desperately want to lose more weight, your killing yourself and it saddens me to know someone is going through this...
  • OceanAddict
    OceanAddict Posts: 55 Member
    So sad. Yes, you probably CAN lose weight, but you SHOULD NOT. You are already underweight, and there is no possible way to lose more weight in a "healthy" way.

    Please - talk to a professional and get some help.
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
    This is really sad :( Your disease has deluded you into thinking that you need to be 110 lbs at 5'10. Please seek professional help. It's a matter of life or death. You're killing yourself.
  • I have a very close friend who is in the hospital right now on the verge of death as a result of her weight obsession. She is going to be held there with a feeding tube in her system until they get all the right papers filed to, well; commit her where she can be helped. You don't want to have your freedom taken away do you?

    I don't mean to sound harsh but you already look scary because of how skinny you are. If you want to be attractive you need to gain some weight and tone it up. Musle is more dense compared to fat so even though your scale may go up you'll look much healthier and you probably wont be much bigger than you are now. If you just eat what you should eat and exercise and GET SOME THERAPY for not only your sake but for the sake of everyone around you who is fighting your disease with you then everyone will be alot better off.

    I hope that what I said reached somewhere deep down and struck a chord. Good luck on getting healthy. I hope you do.
  • ... held there with a feeding tube in her system until they get all the right papers filed to, well; commit her where she can be helped. You don't want to have your freedom taken away do you? ...
    I am currently on mental health commitment and right now I am living in a mental health treatment facility... however no one here knows ANYTHING about eating disorders, and in about a week I am being discharged from treatment and going to live in an apartment and meet with a county social worker weekly.

    One of the plans in my goal plan is to do the Emily program. I will do it, but that is no guarantee that I will change. I am not sure if you realize this, but what everyone else said does not affect me at all. It is like telling an alcoholic that they are going to kill themself if they don't stop drinking.

    I am also trying to stop the bulimia by going back to simply restricting which is a LOT more healthy choice.

    I also have a ton of skills and wrote this paper to help other bulimics about two days ago. However... I can help others but I can't help myself.

    [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
    [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[Start My Paper that I wrote]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
    [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

    Comments welcome. I wrote it in the 3 paragraph format, its just I have never been one for conclusions so I thought screw it. I hope you can get as much use out of it as I had intended. Everytime I get a really bad craving I read it. And I am usually able to cope with the urge to binge. Good luck.

    Eating Disorders and Cravings go hand in hand.

    What is usually most difficult for people when changing their eating disorder is coping with the sometimes relentless cravings to binge and/or purge. The initial days of trying to change your behavior can be exhausting as cravings will dominate your thinking and interfere with your daily routine. Many girls will give up their change in efforts because they feel that there is no way they can function without their eating disorder as the cravings interfere way too much with the quality of life.

    It is important to remember that CRAVINGS ARE NORMAL!

    We experience cravings in varying degrees every day. And because your eating disorder has been important to you for a long time, it may be unreasonable to expect cravings to vanish completely. What is hoped is that you will come to experience cravings with less frequency and that when they are experienced you will be able to react in a way that will not lead to a gigantic binge.

    There is a CBT skill that I have learned that can help you cope with your cravings; It is called the "three D's" and it can help you cope with your urges. The D's stand for Decatastrophizing, Disputing expectations, and Distracting. The use of these will help you stop b/p all together and you can restrict without fear of an uncontrollable binge.

    Decatastrophizing

    Especially early on in your change efforts, cravings can seem excruciating. Your daily routine has been altered by the elimination of an important part of life and now you can't get your mind off it. Everything you see reminds you of your eating disorder. If you purge, using the bathroom may bring to mind the image of throwing up your last meal and the associated twisted pleasure. The inability to satisfy the cravings to binge can lead to frustration and inner statements like, "I can't stand this!" or "There is no way I will be able to live without giving in. I'll just go crazy!" Statements like this can be overwhelming. So much so that some girls often just give up.

    Catastrophic thoughts like these can lead to a great deal of arousal which can, in turn, make things seem worse than they really are. If you believe that you are completely out of control, your emotions will follow. What is important to remember is that cravings are normal and typically decline in intensity as you continue restricting without a binge. Often times there will come a time when it feels like there is no way you can go on, the point in which you gave in quite possibly may have been the turning point in which cravings would begin to subside. To combat catastrophic reactions to craving it is important to remind yourself of times in the past when you have successfully changed something about yourself ( Think now, we have all done so at least once or twice! ) Furthermore, think about other people you have know who have undergone significant change. Do they seem so haunted by cravings that they cannot function? If not, who is to say that you cannot accomplish that also?

    Try to take some of the power away from a black and white adjective like "horrible" or "unbearable." Belief in horrible extremes only makes you feel worse. Just how unbearable is your craving right now? Ask your self this every time you eat. To accurately answer this you may need to conjure images of what other types of suffering reported as unbearable are like. Is this desire to binge as unbearable as getting stabbed in the stomach? Probably not! Or better still, what have you endured which was worse than your current craving? Was that unbearable? If so, does it follow that your craving is less than unbearable and only perhaps only "very uncomfortable."

    Disputing Expectations

    Craving is, basically, the act of expecting something. There are three beliefs associated with the urgent decision to b/p. There is the Anticipatory, such as "I am going to feel so much better after eating ALL of this", Relief Oriented, such as "I won't have to worry about gaining weight if I purge this right away" and Facilitative or Permissive, such as, "I have been good all week, therefore, I am entitled to a quick small binge. (well all know it won't be)"

    Since we rarely think about distant consequences when craving, bring them to mind deliberately. Bring to mind the Negative Emotions which may be experienced at a later time due to engaging in a binge. Cravings are blind, in that they can only see advantages. You must shed some light on your craving in order to effectively control it. Ask yourself questions like:

    * How will I feel later if I give in to my craving? (Guilt? Depression? Craving to purge?)

    * What consequences might I suffer if I give in? (Strong desire to b/p tomorrow? this evening? Complete loss of progress to stop b/ping?)

    * Will the negatives outweigh the positives in the long run if I give in?

    Another way to cope with cravings is to imagine that someone very close to you is voicing the very urge you are experiencing. How would you go about convincing her not to give in? Sometimes distancing yourself from your cravings is imperative before you can subject them to any scrutiny.

    Your ability to conjure vivid images can be used in your favour when you experience craving. In the presence of a strong urge, try to imagine a very negative outcome. The more negatively graphic the better. The more true to your life the better. For example, if you have a strong urge to binge, imagine that it sets off a chain of events that make you b/p over and over and over again all in one evening. Imagine getting a migraine and a bloody eye from popping blood vessels as a result of very violently purging. Better still - imagine someone very important dropping by, someone you really want to impress, and them seeing you in that condition. It is amazing how powerful your own imagination can be in fueling or stopping behaviour.

    Distracting

    Some urges are so relentless that talking back to them is insufficient. You still can't get your mind off of food. Good old fashioned distraction is sometimes the only thing that can pull your thoughts away. Distraction can be cognitive, in the form of some mental exercises, or behavioural, in the form of activity. Cravings tend to occur in environments which are the same or similar to those in which the b/p happened in the past. So if your ED developed when you were living in your parents house, a house setting may elicit a strong craving to binge. If possible, don't have any trigger foods in your apartment that will cause you to start bingeing. If you still live at home with your parents, plan to do things that are out of the house as much as possible, alternatively taking a break and walking outside will often decrease the craving to a manageable level as well as burn off some of that fat in your thighs and butt. You must evaluate your schedule and determine which situations evoke the most intense cravings and create as much flexibility as possible so that you can "escape" if necessary - especially in the initial days of your change efforts and if you end up in a restraint with lots of high cal/fat/sodium foods.

    Cognitive Distraction can be very powerful. Imagery has been used as a means of helping stressed people learn to relax. You too can use imagery to take your mind off a craving which is dominating your consciousness. Conjuring a pleasant place like a beach or an a raft in a lake can help you not only take your mind off the cravings but relax as well.

    However, "relaxing" images are not helpful for everyone. Some find that if they relax when craving they will only want it more. This makes sense, as many habits are associated with relaxation and pleasure, and evoking these feelings in places previously associated with your ED can strengthen cravings tremendously. I recommend that you find some mental task that will be very difficult to finish but which is interesting and consuming and that you can activate in response to a craving.

    Certainly what you choose will depend on your interests, but the key is to make it something that will be easy and perhaps interesting and fun to do. Choosing to think about all the mistakes you've made this year and how you should have done things differently is not going to prove a good distraction as it will not be enjoyable. Reminiscing on the past and how you "should" have not binged will not fix that you binged yesterday, instead it will cause undue anxiety that you do not need in a time of craving. In fact, it may increase the power of your craving, especially if stress has precipitated your ED in the past.

    It is sometimes best to try one craving control technique at a time so that you do not get overwhelmed. These techniques work, but they also require a great deal of mental energy and conscious effort. The aim here is not to make change excruciating or overly taxing, but to provide you with some tools which you can add to your tool-box, so to speak, at your own pace.

    Written by Christina G.
    Any questions email me a christina.audrey.gallagher@gmail.com
  • heather0mc
    heather0mc Posts: 4,656 Member
    this is a fantastic paper! you are talking about redirection - the ability to choose how to react to any situation. for example, when driving down the road and someone cuts you off you might immediately feel pissed off. but if you control the reaction and think almost subconsciously, 'ok am i really that mad or am i just over reacting?' and instead of feeling anger, try a different approach, like empathy 'i hope that whatever that person is in such a damn hurry for is ok'...redirection is an amazing thing to learn and really live by - life gets less hard when we choose how to react to every day events, whether deep seeded or surface level.

    you are the kind of person i have a strong desire to help. i know i cannot help you. i wish i could though. you have to help you and figure out how to make changes for the right reasons. death isn't scary enough, i know. i posted that link because that poor model died at a really young age. she tried to get the word out to help others and to honor her efforts, i thought you should see her (if you haven't already)

    i am 6'1" and was always thin growing up. got to a point at age 19ish that i was downright ill and weighed 125 pounds. a modeling agency said i had to lose 10 pounds and an inch off my hips. i was in a situation where i had no money and what little money i came across went to gas and smokes and basic cheap things to eat like ramen noodles. eventually i figured out how to just go with out eating. but i was sick, even though i had an excuse for everything.

    as i got older, i got better. i was always conscious of my weight (growing up in a house where mom was never thin enough according to dad) and did not think it was possible to get fat. i finally broke free and stopped how i was living and enjoyed food for what it was - delish - and made sure i always had enough to keep me fed. at my lowest point i started saving pennies (which turned into all other coins) and i put them into a vodka bottle. i told myself that if i ever ever got that bad again, i could break into the bottle. it was like a little security blanket and a reminder that i was miserable back then. i super glued the bottle shut when it was full and still have it to this day, some 17 years later. i love that bottle. (and, a side note, eventually all the other change was too much to deal with and so i turned it into a coin-star - had over $300! yay money).

    there has never been a time that i haven't thought about my weight or my appearance in a negative way. i do not take compliments very well (but have learned to get much better!). it is hard and i have tried to think differently but i think it is just something that is in my head that will never change.

    i cannot say i had an eating disorder. i was never diagnosed and was able to help myself pull through. but i know i had no idea how slim and sick i was. i look at pics from back then - there are VERY few - and i cringe. i looked skeletal and unhealthy. but at the time i did worry that i was too fat. sounds crazy but it is true.

    fast forward to 15 years and 100 pounds - yes 100 pounds - later and i end up here. over weight. but i am losing it in the most healthy way i can. i got here by a multitude of different reasons but i am going back to my healthiest weight - steady as she goes! i am only a few pounds away from a healthy weight and from there i will be maintaining my new lifestyle as a tall, fit woman who has been thru both ends of the spectrum as far as weight goes. maybe not as extreme as most people who have issues with not eating, but it was there. i cant deny it.

    here is a cropped pic of a pretty bad time, maybe the worst. i cropped it because it is hideous, but you can see my arm is a twig. also, my hair is short because it all broke off due to not eating...

    arm.jpg

    here is a picture from about the time when i started to get better. yes, i am wearing my docs and my shorts and a polyester shirt in the middle of the summer in AZ. but what stands out the most (besides my late 90's grungy punkish attire) is my arm - no meat on it. and my head. looks huge on my frail frame. and i promise i was worried that i looked fat in this photo. sheesh.

    skinny20.jpg

    this is probably way too much to share on a public forum, but maybe someone will read it and it will help them. i know i cant help, but maybe in some way...???

    i hope you get better. it really is worth it, even if you end up where i am right now. it is worth not being sick and dying. :flowerforyou:
  • Wow! I was just about to turn the light off when I saw my post was the last one commented in this forum! I copied it to my flash drive and I am going to read it a few times before I go to sleep. Thank you so much for showing your care and dedication in such a long post. :)

    Don't you worry, we are going to talk later, k? Add me.
  • heather0mc
    heather0mc Posts: 4,656 Member
    Wow! I was just about to turn the light off when I saw my post was the last one commented in this forum! I copied it to my flash drive and I am going to read it a few times before I go to sleep. Thank you so much for showing your care and dedication in such a long post. :)

    Don't you worry, we are going to talk later, k? Add me.

    ok girl!! promise me we will keep in touch. i really do care :heart:

    it was hard to write to be honest, but i am very glad to have replied. sleep good! :wink:
  • WOW! This is really discouraging. I just joined my fitness pal, to become a healthier person and I can't even imagine why you would feel like you need to lose weight! I hope my new journey here finds me people who are struggling to be healthy and can be more encouraging than this. I would be thrilled to have your BMI... good luck in your goal I hope you can understand the true meaning to a healthy lifestyle and become confident in yourself... enough to realize what your doing is dangerous
  • heather0mc
    heather0mc Posts: 4,656 Member
    WOW! This is really discouraging. I just joined my fitness pal, to become a healthier person and I can't even imagine why you would feel like you need to lose weight! I hope my new journey here finds me people who are struggling to be healthy and can be more encouraging than this. I would be thrilled to have your BMI... good luck in your goal I hope you can understand the true meaning to a healthy lifestyle and become confident in yourself... enough to realize what your doing is dangerous

    wow, i am surprised as your post. this person is also trying to find a healthier lifestyle. just because it is different from you does not make it discouraging. as a matter of fact, it should shed a light on a darker, lesser known health problem if anything.

    there are THOUSANDS of people on MFP to lose weight, and it is a very personal goal in a very public forum. i do not know this girl as i do not know you, but i do know that being unhealthy in any way is dangerous, whether you are over or under weight.

    you will find plenty of encouraging people on this site. hopefully you will also encourage others on your journey too.
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
    WOW! This is really discouraging. I just joined my fitness pal, to become a healthier person and I can't even imagine why you would feel like you need to lose weight! I hope my new journey here finds me people who are struggling to be healthy and can be more encouraging than this. I would be thrilled to have your BMI... good luck in your goal I hope you can understand the true meaning to a healthy lifestyle and become confident in yourself... enough to realize what your doing is dangerous

    wow, i am surprised as your post. this person is also trying to find a healthier lifestyle. just because it is different from you does not make it discouraging. as a matter of fact, it should shed a light on a darker, lesser known health problem if anything.

    there are THOUSANDS of people on MFP to lose weight, and it is a very personal goal in a very public forum. i do not know this girl as i do not know you, but i do know that being unhealthy in any way is dangerous, whether you are over or under weight.

    you will find plenty of encouraging people on this site. hopefully you will also encourage others on your journey too.

    Agreed. The OP is someone with an eating disorder. To call them discouraging is rather disheartening and cruel IMO.
  • I am sorry to upset anyone, my intentions were not to be rude, or mean- I didn't understand the whole topic. So I do apologize immensely and I wish you lots of luck on your journey!
This discussion has been closed.