Another person trying despratly to lose weight.

Yeah the picture is me. facebook.com/GoreJessTina feel free to add me.... but yeah, I CAN and WILL lose weight. I guess I shouldn't have posted in the introduction forum.

Thanks anyway I will hang out in fun and games.

... held there with a feeding tube in her system until they get all the right papers filed to, well; commit her where she can be helped. You don't want to have your freedom taken away do you? ...

I am currently on mental health commitment and right now I am living in a mental health treatment facility... however no one here knows ANYTHING about eating disorders, and in about a week I am being discharged from treatment and going to live in an apartment and meet with a county social worker weekly.

One of the plans in my goal plan is to do the Emily program. I will do it, but that is no guarantee that I will change. I am not sure if you realize this, but what everyone else said does not affect me at all. It is like telling an alcoholic that they are going to kill themself if they don't stop drinking.

I am also trying to stop the bulimia by going back to simply restricting which is a LOT more healthy choice.

I also have a ton of skills and wrote this paper to help other bulimics about two days ago. However... I can help others but I can't help myself.

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Comments welcome. I wrote it in the 3 paragraph format, its just I have never been one for conclusions so I thought screw it. I hope you can get as much use out of it as I had intended. Everytime I get a really bad craving I read it. And I am usually able to cope with the urge to binge. Good luck.

Eating Disorders and Cravings go hand in hand.

What is usually most difficult for people when changing their eating disorder is coping with the sometimes relentless cravings to binge and/or purge. The initial days of trying to change your behavior can be exhausting as cravings will dominate your thinking and interfere with your daily routine. Many girls will give up their change in efforts because they feel that there is no way they can function without their eating disorder as the cravings interfere way too much with the quality of life.

It is important to remember that CRAVINGS ARE NORMAL!

We experience cravings in varying degrees every day. And because your eating disorder has been important to you for a long time, it may be unreasonable to expect cravings to vanish completely. What is hoped is that you will come to experience cravings with less frequency and that when they are experienced you will be able to react in a way that will not lead to a gigantic binge.

There is a CBT skill that I have learned that can help you cope with your cravings; It is called the "three D's" and it can help you cope with your urges. The D's stand for Decatastrophizing, Disputing expectations, and Distracting. The use of these will help you stop b/p all together and you can restrict without fear of an uncontrollable binge.

Decatastrophizing

Especially early on in your change efforts, cravings can seem excruciating. Your daily routine has been altered by the elimination of an important part of life and now you can't get your mind off it. Everything you see reminds you of your eating disorder. If you purge, using the bathroom may bring to mind the image of throwing up your last meal and the associated twisted pleasure. The inability to satisfy the cravings to binge can lead to frustration and inner statements like, "I can't stand this!" or "There is no way I will be able to live without giving in. I'll just go crazy!" Statements like this can be overwhelming. So much so that some girls often just give up.

Catastrophic thoughts like these can lead to a great deal of arousal which can, in turn, make things seem worse than they really are. If you believe that you are completely out of control, your emotions will follow. What is important to remember is that cravings are normal and typically decline in intensity as you continue restricting without a binge. Often times there will come a time when it feels like there is no way you can go on, the point in which you gave in quite possibly may have been the turning point in which cravings would begin to subside. To combat catastrophic reactions to craving it is important to remind yourself of times in the past when you have successfully changed something about yourself ( Think now, we have all done so at least once or twice! ) Furthermore, think about other people you have know who have undergone significant change. Do they seem so haunted by cravings that they cannot function? If not, who is to say that you cannot accomplish that also?

Try to take some of the power away from a black and white adjective like "horrible" or "unbearable." Belief in horrible extremes only makes you feel worse. Just how unbearable is your craving right now? Ask your self this every time you eat. To accurately answer this you may need to conjure images of what other types of suffering reported as unbearable are like. Is this desire to binge as unbearable as getting stabbed in the stomach? Probably not! Or better still, what have you endured which was worse than your current craving? Was that unbearable? If so, does it follow that your craving is less than unbearable and only perhaps only "very uncomfortable."

Disputing Expectations

Craving is, basically, the act of expecting something. There are three beliefs associated with the urgent decision to b/p. There is the Anticipatory, such as "I am going to feel so much better after eating ALL of this", Relief Oriented, such as "I won't have to worry about gaining weight if I purge this right away" and Facilitative or Permissive, such as, "I have been good all week, therefore, I am entitled to a quick small binge. (well all know it won't be)"

Since we rarely think about distant consequences when craving, bring them to mind deliberately. Bring to mind the Negative Emotions which may be experienced at a later time due to engaging in a binge. Cravings are blind, in that they can only see advantages. You must shed some light on your craving in order to effectively control it. Ask yourself questions like:

* How will I feel later if I give in to my craving? (Guilt? Depression? Craving to purge?)

* What consequences might I suffer if I give in? (Strong desire to b/p tomorrow? this evening? Complete loss of progress to stop b/ping?)

* Will the negatives outweigh the positives in the long run if I give in?

Another way to cope with cravings is to imagine that someone very close to you is voicing the very urge you are experiencing. How would you go about convincing her not to give in? Sometimes distancing yourself from your cravings is imperative before you can subject them to any scrutiny.

Your ability to conjure vivid images can be used in your favour when you experience craving. In the presence of a strong urge, try to imagine a very negative outcome. The more negatively graphic the better. The more true to your life the better. For example, if you have a strong urge to binge, imagine that it sets off a chain of events that make you b/p over and over and over again all in one evening. Imagine getting a migraine and a bloody eye from popping blood vessels as a result of very violently purging. Better still - imagine someone very important dropping by, someone you really want to impress, and them seeing you in that condition. It is amazing how powerful your own imagination can be in fueling or stopping behaviour.

Distracting

Some urges are so relentless that talking back to them is insufficient. You still can't get your mind off of food. Good old fashioned distraction is sometimes the only thing that can pull your thoughts away. Distraction can be cognitive, in the form of some mental exercises, or behavioural, in the form of activity. Cravings tend to occur in environments which are the same or similar to those in which the b/p happened in the past. So if your ED developed when you were living in your parents house, a house setting may elicit a strong craving to binge. If possible, don't have any trigger foods in your apartment that will cause you to start bingeing. If you still live at home with your parents, plan to do things that are out of the house as much as possible, alternatively taking a break and walking outside will often decrease the craving to a manageable level as well as burn off some of that fat in your thighs and butt. You must evaluate your schedule and determine which situations evoke the most intense cravings and create as much flexibility as possible so that you can "escape" if necessary - especially in the initial days of your change efforts and if you end up in a restraint with lots of high cal/fat/sodium foods.

Cognitive Distraction can be very powerful. Imagery has been used as a means of helping stressed people learn to relax. You too can use imagery to take your mind off a craving which is dominating your consciousness. Conjuring a pleasant place like a beach or an a raft in a lake can help you not only take your mind off the cravings but relax as well.

However, "relaxing" images are not helpful for everyone. Some find that if they relax when craving they will only want it more. This makes sense, as many habits are associated with relaxation and pleasure, and evoking these feelings in places previously associated with your ED can strengthen cravings tremendously. I recommend that you find some mental task that will be very difficult to finish but which is interesting and consuming and that you can activate in response to a craving.

Certainly what you choose will depend on your interests, but the key is to make it something that will be easy and perhaps interesting and fun to do. Choosing to think about all the mistakes you've made this year and how you should have done things differently is not going to prove a good distraction as it will not be enjoyable. Reminiscing on the past and how you "should" have not binged will not fix that you binged yesterday, instead it will cause undue anxiety that you do not need in a time of craving. In fact, it may increase the power of your craving, especially if stress has precipitated your ED in the past.

It is sometimes best to try one craving control technique at a time so that you do not get overwhelmed. These techniques work, but they also require a great deal of mental energy and conscious effort. The aim here is not to make change excruciating or overly taxing, but to provide you with some tools which you can add to your tool-box, so to speak, at your own pace.

Written by Christina G.
Any questions email me a christina.audrey.gallagher@gmail.com

Wow! I was just about to turn the light off when I saw my post was the last one commented in this forum! I copied it to my flash drive and I am going to read it a few times before I go to sleep. Thank you so much for showing your care and dedication in such a long post.

Don't you worry, we are going to talk later, k? Add me.