Diaries

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peggybrant
peggybrant Posts: 144 Member
in Food and Nutrition
You know I have been wondering lately that if MFP is supposed to be a support site then should we not help others be accountable for their diets and such? A person yesterday made a post about people's diaries and she was given bad feed back on her comments. Maybe she could have worded it differently but the fact remains she was right on what she was saying. I leave my diary open for you all to see because I should be accountable for the stuff I let pass my lips. Is that not why we all allow our diaries to be seen? Well I've noticed that there are those who always stay under their calorie goal but it was because all they ate was a couple pieces of pizza or what ever else junky food there may have been on their menu. Does that really make since? Well those were my thoughts and I am wondering do MY FRIENDS want to be reminded that its nice you stayed under your goal but look at what you ate and wouldn't you want to eat way more and have your numbers all balanced?
God Bless

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,004 Member
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    If you leave your diary open, then I think you should expect people to judge. If people judge, they should expect the person to be defensive. Human nature.

    One more reason to keep diaries private. Accountability is one thing. Asking for anonymous critique.....not really helpful - unless there is some specific issue someone needs help with. Even the so called "clean eaters" really aren't all the time. It just isn't realistically possible .
  • k8tmama
    k8tmama Posts: 58
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    You know, I have thought about the same thing, particularly when I notice that people are way under their calorie goals or are skipping a lot of meals. I just want them to be successful, but I feel like I shouldn't say anything because I don't want to come across as judgmental. I know that I am way over in my sodium, and wouldn't have a problem with someone telling me so. Just not sure (after a month on this site) how honest people want you to be! There's also the issue of MFP's exercise"burn" totals being so far off. I find that my actual burn is less than half of what MFP estimates. I wouldn't want to discourage anyone, but maybe it's an answer to why someone isn't seeing the results they expect. Anyway, I figure it's just my role to encourage people that their dedication will pay off. I don't want to say something discouraging. But I'm encouraging all my friends to be honest with me!!

    Thanks! :o)
  • Mads1997
    Mads1997 Posts: 1,494 Member
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    I have to say I am a little scared about congratulating some people about being under their calorie goal for the day. It's clear they are not eating well or nearly enough calories and worry that my 'well dones' could cause more problems for them. I don't know it a fine line I think.
  • loseit4ever
    loseit4ever Posts: 187 Member
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    You bring up some good points. I keep my diary private partly because I just think it's weird to have people looking at everything I eat. I eat a pretty balanced diet, but I still don't want people watching every little thing. The main reason I have it set to private, though, is the exercise calorie issue. I feel that MFP overestimates a lot of the cals burned during exercise, so my net on here is probably never really close to what it is supposed to be according to what they say I burned. I try to research what the cals burned should actually be and go with those. Some things are right on, so not everything is too high, but I also don't want people nagging at me if I exercise a lot one day and don't make up all the cals. I eat when I feel I need to based on hunger and my intake for the day. I am eating 3 meals plus a couple of small snacks most days. I am losing relatively quickly, so I don't think I'm doing too much wrong. The other thing is, when I do overeat, I beat myself up about it enough that I don't want anyone else doing it too...lol!
  • kimwig
    kimwig Posts: 164
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    You know I have been wondering lately that if MFP is supposed to be a support site then should we not help others be accountable for their diets and such? A person yesterday made a post about people's diaries and she was given bad feed back on her comments. Maybe she could have worded it differently but the fact remains she was right on what she was saying. I leave my diary open for you all to see because I should be accountable for the stuff I let pass my lips. Is that not why we all allow our diaries to be seen? Well I've noticed that there are those who always stay under their calorie goal but it was because all they ate was a couple pieces of pizza or what ever else junky food there may have been on their menu. Does that really make since? Well those were my thoughts and I am wondering do MY FRIENDS want to be reminded that its nice you stayed under your goal but look at what you ate and wouldn't you want to eat way more and have your numbers all balanced?
    God Bless
    I have my diary open to all, as it keeps me accountable. If someone wishes to make a comment that is constructive and well balanced (ie based on the science not diet myths) I have no problems, because I know I'd not get it right all the time.

    I agree that there is a little bi too much "way to go" etc against food intake that is not always nutritionally good.

    If I make a diary comment (that is a one that relates to something that could be better) I do try and give a reason. If it is sugarcoated the message can be lost. If I lose an MFP "friend" because I make a valid suggestion that they find hard to hear it does not bother mean, because supporting someone needs at times to include "tough love"
  • lodro
    lodro Posts: 982 Member
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    I eat one meal a day, I try to stay around 1000 calories a day with a low carb intake. I do this for a very specific reason. Seeing how judgmental people generally are about meal frequency and "eating your calories"/starvation mode issues, there's no way I'm making my diary public. :)

    There are other reasons than weight loss for people to track their food intake.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,004 Member
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    I agree that there is a little bit too much "way to go" etc against food intake that is not always nutritionally good.

    That's also why I hide all my feeds, all my "updates," and delete comments on my profile page. There aren't enough hours in the day.

    If I want input, I ask for it. Each to their own! :wink:
  • Cristy_AZ
    Cristy_AZ Posts: 986
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    I guess I'm in the middle somewhere, I usually comment on my own entry when I know I am over on carbs or that I wonder if its ok that I'm over on sugar if it was all from fruit, but all I get is way to go, good job etc., I've posted requests for people to critique my diary a couple times and then got good info. I think people are just scared to be judgemental it hurt peoples feelings. I find peoples open diaries helpful as examples, I never eat fast food and try to stay away from packaged and proceeded foods, so I don't care to see thine peoples diaries but I would not feel comfortable saying anything unless they asked for help. That said I sent you a friend request and would appreciate feedback.
  • peggybrant
    peggybrant Posts: 144 Member
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    You know I have been wondering lately that if MFP is supposed to be a support site then should we not help others be accountable for their diets and such? A person yesterday made a post about people's diaries and she was given bad feed back on her comments. Maybe she could have worded it differently but the fact remains she was right on what she was saying. I leave my diary open for you all to see because I should be accountable for the stuff I let pass my lips. Is that not why we all allow our diaries to be seen? Well I've noticed that there are those who always stay under their calorie goal but it was because all they ate was a couple pieces of pizza or what ever else junky food there may have been on their menu. Does that really make since? Well those were my thoughts and I am wondering do MY FRIENDS want to be reminded that its nice you stayed under your goal but look at what you ate and wouldn't you want to eat way more and have your numbers all balanced?
    God Bless
    I have my diary open to all, as it keeps me accountable. If someone wishes to make a comment that is constructive and well balanced (ie based on the science not diet myths) I have no problems, because I know I'd not get it right all the time.

    I agree that there is a little bi too much "way to go" etc against food intake that is not always nutritionally good.

    If I make a diary comment (that is a one that relates to something that could be better) I do try and give a reason. If it is sugarcoated the message can be lost. If I lose an MFP "friend" because I make a valid suggestion that they find hard to hear it does not bother mean, because supporting someone needs at times to include "tough love"
    I absolutely agree
  • girl_brett
    girl_brett Posts: 166 Member
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    If someone feels the need to critique, to each his own, but what some people I think are looking at is whether you feel that what another person ate is not healthy enough to your standards. We are all on here for our own reasons...and I think being on here helps people begin the journey of weightloss. You might be judging someone who has been at this for a week, a day or whatever and they have not fully gotten into the groove as others may be with more time in it. Also, I know like for me, since I am now tracking my calories, whether or not it's the "healthiest" it is definatey still atleast 1500 or more calories less then I was normally doing before joining MFP. So that is a huge improvement right there. People do want to be held accountable, but you also don't want to discourage people so badly that they feel the need to give up on something that has been attempted many times before or put off for so long. One thing that I have also found is I may eat something, but because the resteraunt I ate at is not listed or whatever, I just go by what I can find that I feel is closest to what I had...even if that may be listed from a fast food resteraunt.

    My personal outlook on my losing weight is not as a diet. I don't want to feel that I can't eat anything if I go out to eat or panick because I don't know how many calories are in something. I know that I am making significant changes and I am the judge of that.
  • shannonshock13
    shannonshock13 Posts: 355 Member
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    i consider myself i pretty "clean eater" but not all the time and thats for sure. I have never stated that i eat that way 100% of the time. Do i have off days OH YES, tonight was one of them. Do i think that people should just eat junk but still stay under their cal goals and stuff NO WAY.

    People can judge me and make rude comments all the want, I know what is working for me and im sticking to it they can be rude all they want.


    My food diary is open for people to see how i eat and that i am human and i do eat junk every now and then. I also feel it makes me try harder to eat healthier things cos i know people will see it since i log everything i eat.
  • peggybrant
    peggybrant Posts: 144 Member
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    i consider myself i pretty "clean eater" but not all the time and thats for sure. I have never stated that i eat that way 100% of the time. Do i have off days OH YES, tonight was one of them. Do i think that people should just eat junk but still stay under their cal goals and stuff NO WAY.

    People can judge me and make rude comments all the want, I know what is working for me and im sticking to it they can be rude all they want.


    My food diary is open for people to see how i eat and that i am human and i do eat junk every now and then. I also feel it makes me try harder to eat healthier things cos i know people will see it since i log everything i eat.
    thats why I log also. And i could easily eat 3000 calories in a meal before I made myself stop doing it. I love the food I love so I feel everyone concerning that.
  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
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    I agree. I leave my diary open - hopefully, my good days when I really eat clean, will be an inspiration to others. Also, I get lots of good ideas from other people's diaries.

    If I have a friend that isn't making healthy choices - I don't badger them or give them tough love, each of us is trying to do the best that we can.

    If someone wants to judge me or thinks poorly of me for what I eat or it makes them feel better about themselves to see I had a bad day - that's really their problem and not mine.

    Honestly, I don't care if you look at my food diary or not. It's open if you want to look at it and if you don't, that's fine too. :flowerforyou:
  • janesmith1
    janesmith1 Posts: 1,511 Member
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    I think leaving your diary open is actually helpful to other members on the site. The default is to leave it closed I believe, and so many people here might not know how to open their diaries unless they go through some effort.

    However, I think it's great to look at what people are doing, especially those on the SUCCESS forum here. Not everyone that has success is doing what *I* consider to be correct eating habits either, some have eaten like 700 cals for instance. I don't say anything, this is *my* work, this is how *I'm* doing it, I've decided that I'm not going to worry about how other people are doing their thing, everyone is different, I am trying not to judge, at least out loud.
  • LoveMy3Boys
    LoveMy3Boys Posts: 562 Member
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    Meh... I think people need to quit being "concerned" about how others meet their calorie goals. For me this is a lifestyle change but I'll still have days where I eat crap. Fortunately for me my diary is only open to friends. Not the judgmental masses.

    That being said I didn't see the post you're referring too.
  • CalorieNinja
    CalorieNinja Posts: 645 Member
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    I have my diary available only to friends. People I add I want them to hold me accountable when I am feeling down and not holding myself accountable. I need that bluntness "hey your eating like crap" etc. Some things I didn't even realize how bad they were until looking at diary or someone comments on it.

    But the reason I have it to friends only is I don't want random people looking at my diaries and judging off that, where as my friends will know if I am feeling down, if its my free day etc.

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