Feeling obligated to eat

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wowamom87
wowamom87 Posts: 63 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
My Husband made waffles this morning before I even woke up. He was just too excited to use his waffle maker. I really didn't want all the calories from the waffle and syrup but I felt I had to eat it because he made it. He thinks I am obsessed with this whole calorie and eating healthy/exercising thing but I just don't think he understands how I just want to have a more healthy lifestyle. His few high cal meals caused me to go over today. I feel so mad at myself because I know the weekends when I have all meals with him is setting me back every week. Anyways thanks for letting me rant.

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  • luv2ash
    luv2ash Posts: 1,903 Member
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    nothing in the world would have made me eat those waffles. You have to get him on board with you, and it may take something like refusing to cook his food for him to get the picture. Better luck next time.
  • glasscc
    glasscc Posts: 8 Member
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    Men just don't seem to "get it". Most have a much higher metabolism than women do and have no clue what one meal can do to your plan. Every man I've ever been with has sabatoged my diet plans. I don't think they really mean to, they just think like men. It's up to you to stand up for yourself though and do what you need to do, to make your goals.
  • sabrinafaith
    sabrinafaith Posts: 607 Member
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    You could eat one half of a waffle with low calorie syrup and then have a non fat yogurt on the side to keep you satiated longer. You should be able to fit in some splurges in you lifestyle.
  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
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    Know what I used to do with waffles and pancakes? I never liked syrup before I started using "real" syrup. I used applesauce and jam. You could reduce the portion size, use low cal topping, and make it work. A half of 1/4 of a piece. The farther you go with this, though, the more your husband will realize you have made changes that you are serious about, getting results with, and are going to keep up. He'll change his attitude and start to help you out more. If he doesn't, well then I'll punch him in the teeth for you!
  • CarolHudson11
    CarolHudson11 Posts: 372
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    You could eat one half of a waffle with low calorie syrup and then have a non fat yogurt on the side to keep you satiated longer. You should be able to fit in some splurges in you lifestyle.

    This! I would have eaten half. But, I'm not one to say "no" to myself. It doesn't work for me if I tell myself I absolutely can't have something. Portion control and smart choices (low cal syrup, etc) are the key! :)
  • EyeDoc98
    EyeDoc98 Posts: 5
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    May be a little jealous and not wanting you to get too skinny so you don`t get too much looks on the street??
  • EyeDoc98
    EyeDoc98 Posts: 5
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    May be a little jealous and not wanting you to get too skinny so you don`t get too much looks on the street??
  • Xandi
    Xandi Posts: 319
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    I have a husband who is similar to that, He cooks breakfast on the weekends.. the first week I really got into MFP ( about the second week I was on) He asks me if I want French toast or pancakes.. I tell him neither.. that they are too high in calories and that I will find something else. He is butthurt and figures out the calories for 1 piece of WW french toast and syrup. I glare, I pout , I explain that I don't want to do this anymore that I am tired of bouncing back to being 50lbs+ overweight every time I let down my guard.

    Now he cooks my food and does it with better ingredients or a different meal altogether. He pays attention to what I am eating and even though he isn't there yet... He will be eventually, when he decides he is ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle.
  • loriefolk
    loriefolk Posts: 352
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    I don't deny myself, but next time make sure to monitor your portion size :)
  • wowamom87
    wowamom87 Posts: 63 Member
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    Thanks for all the ideas. I even do smaller portions of the good things (no way I could give up the good stuff all together) and he just glares at me and says OBSESSED! It is hard to take that at most meals but all your support here helps to know I am not alone.
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
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    Echoing other posters, let’s reframe this in a way that makes you feel powerful, instead of victimized by food. There is nothing wrong with choosing to eat waffles. But we know there are consequences to that choice. You can limit how much waffle you eat. You can make choices about what toppings you use, and how much. You can choose to increase your exercise because you have chosen to eat a high calorie food. You can find a whole grain waffle recipe and ask that your husband make that next time and serve it with fresh fruit.

    You are going to confront food all day every day for the rest of your life and not all of it is going to be tailor made with your fitness goals in mind. But it is still up to you, to approach the decision from a position of power, and make a choice. And be secure in it, even if it was a choice to eat a full fat waffle, smeared with syrup, and every pocket filled with warm maple syrup. But feeling victimized by eating will get you nowhere on this journey.
  • pobbles
    pobbles Posts: 16
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    I am sooooooooooooo glad to hear I am not the only one who has a partner who tries to lead me astray!

    A lthough I love him dearly I do find it frustrating that he is not fully supporting me.

    He made a batch of chocolate muffins today and they smelt and looked amazing, I was polite enough to try one......but I knew my limits! I immediately entered the muffin on to my tracker and then knew what allowance I had left for the day.

    I have had my first chocolate fix in a week, and NO I do NOT feel guilty as I am still in my allowance range (without going over).

    I actually feel really proud of myself for having a naughty treat without being tempted to have another.....and another....and another!

    So stay strong, have the odd treat and enjoy the results. I think if you deprive yourself from every single luxury you enjoy, you are way more likely to stray and give up on all your hard work

    Pobbles xx
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    The only thing that changed my husband's views on food was his own research. He's trying to get healthier and trying to build muscle, so he does lots of research on how to achieve his own goals. But before that started he didn't understand everything I was doing.
  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
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    Thanks for all the ideas. I even do smaller portions of the good things (no way I could give up the good stuff all together) and he just glares at me and says OBSESSED! It is hard to take that at most meals but all your support here helps to know I am not alone.

    My husband and 10 yr old are sloooowly getting on board instead of rolling their eyes! It took 6 months... They have actually started picking up some of my habits and stopped complaining about having only healthy food. Drinking water and getting a move on a little bit themselves. While actually trying new foods I'm bringing into the house and finding new favorites that are actually "healthy". I never would have imagined that from the guy who would bring me doughnuts or a bag of chips every time I started a diet.
  • edleim
    edleim Posts: 81 Member
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    It sounds like your problem is that waffles are not the splurge you want. It is hard when you eat with other people and you feel pressured to eat what they are having even if you would prefer something else. To me, Nachos are totally worth the calories but something like wings is not. I am not going to eat wings just because you are. You are not depriving yourself if it not what you want. Instead of saying you can't eat waffles maybe say what you really are in the mood for. Even if it is a chocolate crossaint! At least the cheat would have been worth it because it is something you wanted.
  • SueGeer
    SueGeer Posts: 1,169 Member
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    Have same problem with my hubby - weekends are hell, food-wise, just because he's there........today he wanted egg & mayo vol-au-vents for lunch......feel obligated to eat the same or he goes into 'grumpy little boy' mode :grumble:
  • Martha_VH
    Martha_VH Posts: 386 Member
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    The diet I am doing says I can eat one pancake/waffle with 1 tbsp of peanut butter. The peanut butter will give you some protein, and help you feel full. And you can also eat a piece of fruit or something else small.

    My husband eats the food I make, but will bring home Taco Bell or McDonalds as a late night "snack" He says he just craves it.

    I have tried this diet before, and lost some weight then quit for a while. Now I'm ready to go all the way. I think the temptations don't phase me anymore because I resisted the cupcakes a kid brought to school on Friday for her birthday!
  • alliebthespian
    alliebthespian Posts: 11
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    While you shouldn't feel pressured to eat anything, your healthy lifestyle should not be restrictive. If you actually want a waffle, have one, but watch your portions and watch your toppings. Syrup isn't the best calorically, obviously, but peanut butter, fruit, and lowfat yogurt are all better choices. Don't make yourself eat badly for others, but don't deny yourself the occasional splurge. LIfe's short, after all.

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