Soon to be Air Force Wife....?! HELP!

MrsSommer · February 2011

So, My fiance and i have had some tough times over the past year. I lost my job last July and Laz pulled out of college to get a job to support our family of 3. (We have a nearly 2 year old son) SOO his dad was in the air force and the guard and he now is looking into following in his foot steps to try and provide a better life for us.
We're getting married on July 3 this year and hes talking about leaving for boot camp shortly afterward. I need some words of encouragement...BIG time! Im finding my self being torn! He has done the research and I guess we will be taken care of financially and relocated BUT im not sure if its worth it. There is not an Air Force base in the state of PA (where we live and with all of our family being here, i would rather stay) so in order for us to be with my new husband i will have to leave everything i know behind....
Laz is currently a customer service rep for Highmark and is making average pay, Im currently on unemployment and will be for at least 6 more months. With our current situation we are living pretty comfortable in our APARTMENT. He keeps saying that with the training he will get from the military we can finally be more comfortable and move on with our lives.
The biggest point he has made, and i cannot argue is "yeah, its nice to be around family but they don't pay our bills"
Im rambling, hope this makes sense and hope someone can help me deal with this life changing event! Thanks for listening.

MOMvsFOOD · February 2011

I love my family and miss them dearly, but the best thing I ever did for my family was to relocate to make a better life for our family of 4. No more family gatherings, no more mom down the street for a quick sitter or when the kids are sick and cant go to school, BUT it was so worth it to be in the place we are.

Sometimes you just have to spread your wings and do whats best for YOUR family.

bethvandenberg · February 2011

I too have left the nest so to speak. It's not bad at all as long as you have the right attitude. I love my new friends, and the town we live in. I love my family and miss them dearly but it's fun to go visit.

It's a hard decision and one not to be made lightly. Take your time and figure it all out.

Personally I think our marriage is stronger now since we depend on each other and not so much family. When we first moved here I only had him. He was wonderful and we started a new chapter.

Good luck

heb14 · February 2011

I'm not in your position, so I don't have much for good advice for you, but I hope everything works out! Just think of it as another "adventure" you can tell your grandkids one day... The worst that can happen is moving back home again!

xxjessikatxx · February 2011

Iam a airforce wife..We also lived in PA before my husband joined..Yeah you miss family but honestly there will be times when its nice having your own life away from family.The only down side is he will have to be away going tdy and deploying but the positive out weigh the negative..But if your not a strong person this life is not for you.you will be by your self a lot.It works great for our family of 3 my hubby left when she was born and she is just kinda used to him going away now she just turned 3 in sept.

mandyreadsbooks88 · February 2011

my husband is in the military. I would not recommend it to anyone. It has been a tough life with deployments, long working hours, and constant moving. You can't put a price tag on family time. Personally, I wouldn't do it again.

Samana06 · February 2011

I'm a former military brat, military spouse and the military itself. Although it's going to be a big adjustment you need to look at all of the good things. He's right when he says you'll live a good life. You won't have to worry about insurance, military covers it. You won't have to worry about food ... the military gives you an allowance. If you get base housing you won't have to worry about ANY of the bills that go along with renting/owning a home. Also ... even though you won't see your family as much as you'd like ... the people you meet and the friends you make will become like a second family. Military folks are VERY close knit, and very supportive.
I hope this helps you a little bit. If you want you can add me as a friend on here, and voice ALL of your concerns

mosinnagant · February 2011

I commend your husband by taking the step to serve his country. I am an Air Force veteran. I was in for 6 years with a mix of active duty time and guard time. The military opens up your life to endless opportunities and benefits for you and your husband. You are going through a time that many military spouses have been through. I would recommend checking out www.militaryonesource.com - they have alot of resources for your soon to be military family. There are many spouse programs and benefits for education you could take a look at. I guarantee you will make new friends on base as there is plenty of activities for your family, wellness centers, base gym, commissary, base exchange just to name a few. Financially you will have a decent income, free health care, housing allowance, and education benefits. As far as his military education helping him find a better job, he is right. I used the skills I was trained with in my military career field, and now I make 50k a year starting with no college degree, no college debt. Not saying college is a bad thing, just wasn't for me. You husband can also obtain his associates degree free from the Community College of the Air Force, and then continue his schooling towards a bachelor at a 4 year college basically for free using his GI bill benefits. If you have any questions feel free to hit me up.

Nate

LonnaRox · February 2011

Although it was many years ago for me, I relate to your story. I was an Air Force wife at 18 years of age. Our first duty station was in Germany (we were both from small towns in Ohio) and this was before the days of email and cell phones!

Even though the military was a big change for the both of us, it helped us better ourselves and helped us to focus on 'us' in those early years. We ended up thoroughly enjoying ourselves by embracing the change and staying focused on how these steps would bring us closer to our goals as a family.

Some of our friends in Germany spent their whole tour of duty 'missing home' instead of making home where they were. We saw the country and took advantage of all the things to see and do and the education. We wouldn't change a thing!

Since then, I've used this same approach (focus on the goal & take advantage of the moment) to accomplish other life goals I've had (BA, MBA, career goals etc).

You can do it! The photo of you and your son are precious.

bikerbiz · February 2011

I'm an Air Force vet, originally from PA. It is a VERY tough life on families/marriage--you have to both be extremely strong, build a good support system, and be able to deal with inevitable long separations (up to a year), depending on his career field. It will happen, in this time of war. It is very tough, especially with kids, to be far away from extended family. You have to decide if you can live this way, now, before it's too late. It can be a very rewarding life, depending on your motivations...and separation can even make your marriage stronger (and you more independent). It takes BOTH of you, though, to make it...to want to make it...and a lot of understanding and support when he is doing his mission.

With that said...my motivation was a strong sense of obligation to serve, to fly, and to save lives. I would not change my career choice....but, my ex-wives may tell you something different. I think my kids are proud, though (they are wearing my flight jackets to death, and won't take off my wings and nametags).

tater8589 · February 2011

My husband and I are both Active duty Air Force. It comes with its struggles, as I am very family oriented and I miss my mom/best friend and my maternal grandparents very much. But its a pretty good life. Travel depends on the job he picks. Some jobs (ex: Space) doesn't travel much, where special forces are gone all the time. He can look up (by job number) where different jobs can be stationed, how long trianing is, and where it is. I would also suggest that if either of you have friends who recently went through basic to ask all kinds of "what to expect" questions, cause being prepared for it helps. Another thing, being a military spouse, there is an organization on base that will help you find a job. And there are all kinds of ways for both of you (if ya'll want) to go to college.

There are many Pro's and Con's. But I truly believe that the Pro's (especially in todays economy) heavily out weigh the Con's. If you have any questions feel free to ask me :happy:

tamijd · February 2011

My dh has been serving in the Air Force in some way for 23 years...first as a young airman during Desert Storm, then as an Airman/NCO in the reserves for 10 yrs and came back to active duty after 9/11. I have to say that coming back active duty is the BEST thing that has happened in our lives....yes, it has meant long separations at times and being away from my family. BUT I have grown as person by having to depend on myself to take care of the children and house while he is away. Then there is the awesome opportunities we have had to travel the world and to meet the people that have become my military family. These are the people that have helped me through all the 'bad' parts of the separations and long shifts. I can now say that I have family all over the world. My 4 children are having experiences that my nieces and nephews back home don't have and they are turning into amazing, tolerant, independent individuals. With all the technology today, family all over the world is now just a phone call, text, IM, email or video chat away. I love this life and wouldn't change it for anything. Every base has some sort of newcomers program(sometimes called HEARTLINK) , there are playgroups, moms groups and spouses groups to meet people.

On the financial side, you don't make a lot of cash but the benefits are good-free medical, housing/food allowances, special pay and bonuses for some careers. Plus education benefits.

Good luck and you can send me a private message if you would like to chat

MrsSommer · February 2011

Thank you everyone for your input! Its amazing how there was only 1 negative response to the whole situation. This is all new to me and he is just in the beginning stages of all this...so i guess ill keep you all in mind and lean on you when i need ya!

) Thanks again!!

Soon to be Air Force Wife....?! HELP!

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