Help! Desperatly need support

Options
I began October of 2010 to lose weight and have a healthier life. I revolved my whole life around eating!!! It was all I think about is FOOD and what i can eat next. Its like it never was enough food for me. I gained weight to 227 lbs the biggest I ever been. So like I said in October 2010 I had lost 26 lbs till about Dec 2010. I am a divorced single mom of 2 children. I have been single for about 5 yrs. For a long time I didnt want to go on a date or anything! DEPRESSED MAYBE!!! Now I am ready to move on with my life in a way but yet I feel like I need to get this weight off me so I will not run into the next loser to play on my self-estem! The crazy part about it my ex-husband left me for a woman WAY bigger than me!!!
Everyday since DEC I been saying " ok this is a new day I will do better" and everyday with the exception of a few days I have been failing at it. Its like I have no self-control over food. I log in the morning to MFP and feel so inspired and READY TO DO IT! Then feel so guilty logging in after eating 3000 cal!!! PLease any advice!!! I guess the good part is that I still will not give up!!! But I am tired of letting myself down!!!!

Replies

  • Pinoy_Pal
    Pinoy_Pal Posts: 281 Member
    Options
    "3000" cals!? It would be nice if we can take a glimpse at your food diary? :o]
  • christydufrene78
    Options
    will do!!! Thanks!!!
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
    Options
    Honey, why are you eating 3000 calories?

    And one thing I've learned about men..it doesn't matter what size you are. A loser is a loser. A cheater is a cheater. Look at celebrities who have all the money and so called "happiness" in the world- except where it counts.

    There's no shame in asking for help. And there's no shame in being selfish and doing this for YOURSELF. You're in the right place. Read, ask questions, join challenges and start today :flowerforyou:

    And- you need to plan your food, not planning ahead in your case is planning to fail. What do you like to eat?
  • hwiser
    Options
    You have to give yourself a little credit....your a single, working mom! I think the biggest thing for me so far has been not focusing on the number, but focusing on how I feel! How is your exercise? Because it's ok to eat 3000 calories as long as you are burning enough to stay within your calorie goal! That's the beauty of exercise! Hang in there girl....you can and will do this!! We are all behind you :)
  • christydufrene78
    Options
    I like to eat alot of everything!!!! Thanks just tears are coming down my cheek! I have been hiding under all this fat! I feel like I just confessed all my sins!!! Its almost embarrasing to say some days I eat that much!!!
  • anolan807
    anolan807 Posts: 273 Member
    Options
    My coworker who has lost a ton of weight told me to make a poster of the reasons I want to lose weight, use pictures and post it some where you can see it every day. I have on my that I am losing weight for my family (picture of my family), my health, and then placed a picture I hate on as well with the caption so I do not look like this anymore. I printed it and put it in my walk in closet as well as my cabinet at work so I can see it throughout the day. If I'm feeling like eating I look at it and it does help me stay on track. You can do this, but it is up to you. We are here to support as much as we can. you can add me if you like!
  • kristie874
    kristie874 Posts: 774 Member
    Options
    I find that logging here helps me to be more accountable. If you have a bad eating day just move forward. You WILL make better choices next time. You came to the right place for support. This site has been such a help for me! I'll add you as a friend...if you ever need encouragement just shoot me a message! You will get to where you want to be!
  • Kristy085
    Kristy085 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    Kudos to you for keepin' on! Maybe you need to look at what you are eating! I work at a desk job and I've found that buying nuts and 100 calories fruit cups and light pringles will help keep your metabolism up but still low calorie.

    Remember, you are beautiful! Do this for yourself and not the acceptance of MEN, they will always let you down!
  • Mememone
    Mememone Posts: 48 Member
    Options
    This is probably going to sound silly cause I'm sure you already know this but take a look at what kind of food you are keeping around the house. Get rid of anything unhealthy or that you shouldn't have. Keep healthy snacks. Even if you still have children at home, just make it an example for them what they should also snack on. You say that you lost 26-27 lbs so far. I know that when I get to a number that ends by a 0, its always the hardest. It seems to get forever to get under it and I get discouraged but hang in there. Maybe choose food that are healthy, low in calories and is bulkier (takes more room in your stomach to make you feel fuller. And how much exercise do you do? Cause to eat 3,000 calories, you have to work out quite a bit to burn that. Of course, these are all just suggestions hoping that something will click and work out for you. Sometimes we just hit a plateau but keep working on it and it will give in soon. Its good that you don't give up and keep working at it. Wish you all the best.
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
    Options
    Ok. Without the calories (which you know are too high), what are your Fat, Carbs, Protein and Fibre grams sitting at per day?

    What is going to fill you is protein and fibre. Carbs are OK, just keep out the simple ones like white bread, cookies, white flour etc.

    You need to eat several smaller meals per day. You're binging because you're hungry, and I bet you get say 2 big meals per day and probably skip meals trying to make up for it.

    Think of this time next year- where do you want to be? Because that's where we're going :flowerforyou:
  • muth3rluvx2
    muth3rluvx2 Posts: 1,156 Member
    Options
    Where are you in your cycle? Take that into consideration along with any other possible hormonal changes and workout routines. If you've burnt an excessive amount over the last few days, you may be making some of that up. And mostly, stay on track generally. We all screw up sometimes. We're human - as one of my MFP friends so profoundly pointed out recently. :-)
  • christydufrene78
    Options
    When I lost the weight I was not eating no more than 1500 cal a day! ending it with a nice workout in the evennings! I waitress so I am around food all the time!!!!
  • christydufrene78
    Options
    I dont know when my cycle is? Sounds crazy! I been on the depo shot for birthcontrl for 5 yrs and I had my last injection about 9 months ago and have not seen one yet!!! Maybe hormones! Thanks for pointing that out!
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
    Options
    What is going to fill you is protein and fibre. Carbs are OK, just keep out the simple ones like white bread, cookies, white flour etc.

    You need to eat several smaller meals per day. You're binging because you're hungry, and I bet you get say 2 big meals per day and probably skip meals trying to make up for it.

    That's the big thing... for me, when I first started doing 5 meals per day instead of 2 or 3, it was kind of rough at first. I always felt so stuff and full. But after about 2 weeks, it was like I was never getting enough. The way I would do it was a meal replacement shake for breakfast with a cup of coffee, yogurt and/or cottage cheese 2-3 hours later, a normal "light" lunch... typically lean chicken or pork, yogurt and/or cottage cheese 2-3 hours later, then a decent dinner. I would also supplement a protein shake immediately before working out sometimes too (usually whey protein with skim milk and ice).

    That being said, maybe there are other factors outside of the diet that are causing the calorie consumption to go up... anything that's stressful, or irritating, or just in general gets the body flustered. There's sooo many factors that can go into this.
  • millerll
    millerll Posts: 873 Member
    Options
    OK, take a breath, girl! :smile:

    First, what you need is consistency in your diet. Eat 6 small meals a day, and eat on a schedule. Breakfast, make sure you get protein - yogurt, egg whites, maybe a little cheese. Add a piece of fruit. Have some almonds or carrot and celery sticks as a morning snack. Can you pack your lunches? If so, try cooking up a pan of chicken or turkey breasts ahead of time. Use Mrs. Dash seasonings to cut the sodium. Pack about 4 oz (around half a breast), get some frozen mixed veggies and steam them up, about 2 cups. Add fruit. Voila! Lunch!

    Get some bagged salad if you're pressed for time (busy mom!) and throw a couple handfuls of that together with chopped cucumber and maybe some avocado. Add a little light dressing, oil and vinegar, lemon juice, or whatever you like - you can eat TONS of salad for next to no calories, and it gives you nutrients and fiber, plus it fills you up. Crackers and hummus or fruit are great afternoon snacks. Again, try to get protein - it keeps you full longer. Evening snacks can be Skinny Cow ice cream, lo-cal pudding cups or whatever you crave - just get the lighter version.

    I cook in advance on Sundays - chicken breasts, crock pot meals, etc. - and live off it during the week. Search the recipe section here for lots of quick and nutritious meals both you and your kids will enjoy. Take it one small step at a time and just try to work the changes in one by one. Add some exercise when you can - a walk or a gym visit if you have time. There are great workout videos available for under $10 - all you need is some floor space!

    You can do this! Give yourself some credit for what you've accomplished so far! Give yourself a little breathing room, and don't try to do everything at once - too much pressure. Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • IreneAdler
    Options
    I had a look at your food diary--I can see how working at a restaurant would make it really hard for you. At least you have an active job. I think you are very brave for trying to lose weight, considering all the other things you are going through.

    If you feel like you are a failure every day because you overdo your food calories, maybe you need to start with an easier goal. It can be difficult to completely change your lifestyle (food habits) in one fell swoop. Maybe only have desserts on the weekends could be a goal. Or don't eat any more fast food. Or have at least two low-fat, low-cal, low-sugar meals a day. Is there any way you can cook more at home and eat out less? I gave up fast food for the month of January, and only eat in a restaurant once a week, and it is a lot easier to control calories when your (home) menu is limited. I also make serious use of my crockpot because I won't be tempted to buy fast food on the way home if I know that there is a hot meal waiting for me.

    Hang in there! Let us know how you are doing.
  • susanjh212
    susanjh212 Posts: 3 Member
    Options
    I hear what you are saying, and I too love to eat. Logging your food, and keeping a diary will help, and so will exercise. Might I suggest that you try a plan that outlines what to eat, how much and when. I am using the Flat Belly Diet, and what I notice is that when I really follow what and how much is suggested to eat and when (they recommend following a 1600 calorie intake, with 4 400 calorie meals per day, no more than 4 hours apart), AND keep up with the water, I feel satisfied and am not "craving" something I "should not" have. The FBD has you eating one "MUFA" per meal, mind you it is a restricted amount, so you really have to be willing to weigh and measure, like 1/4 cup of sunflower seeds, or one segment of a good, dark chocolate bar, with each meal. A MUFA is Mono-unsaturated Fatty Acid, and they list five: 1, Monounsaturated oil such as olive oil, 2. Olives 3. Avocado 4. Nuts and 5. Dark Chocolate.

    When you can allow yourself to have a measured amount of what you love to eat, you will feel hopefully satisfied. At least that is how I am feeling. I am trying to lose weight for me because I do not like what I see in the mirror these days. Plus I have two weddings this year and I want to look good for the photos (LOL). There is a psychology involved in trying to drop those LBs. I think having a "coach" look over what you are eating will definitely help. Chin up. If you make up your mind, I am sure you will succeed, but definitely do it for YOU! And don't forget that the weight, to stay off, should come off slowly! I want that quick fix, but it isn't going to happen. Carpe Diem!!
  • korda83
    Options
    Hey there,

    I noticed that you wrote that it is like you have no self control over food. You need to start believing that you do have control. Because you really do!!! Everytime you go to eat, you make a choice there and then about what you're doing. So only you can make the choice not to do that.

    I'm sure that you know really well what foods are good and what foods not so good, the real issue is that you are eating too much, possibly emotional eating? Sounds to me like you may have some deeper unlying issues that you need to explore. Try to get underneath what it is that causes you to eat, because it definitely isnt hunger. If you start to see that you're eating when bored or eating when depressed, you can try to work out strategies to stop this.

    Try to only actually eat when you are hungry. When your tummy actually feels really hungry. If you are eating when you're not hungry then you're eating for some other reason, you're emotional eating.

    Just remember before you eat something, ask yourself, am I actually hungry right now? If the answer is no, walk away from it. If you really really want to lose the weight as much as you say you do, then stop yourself. If you want it bad enough you will.
  • CarlitaK
    CarlitaK Posts: 139
    Options
    Here to help! Feel free to add me :)
  • cutmd
    cutmd Posts: 1,168 Member
    Options
    First of all, congratulate yourself for being brave enough to keep on logging even after you've gone over! I still find that hard to do, and it means you have the mental toughness it takes to conquer this.

    You are actually in an exciting position because just a few changes will make a huge difference for you. For instance, if you cut out flour (no little debbies in the house, no white bread, no bun on the burger king sandwich or biscuits) or sugar, or started bringing lunch, you would have HUGE calorie savings. If you could work out before you left in the morning you'd feel better and make healthier choices. I think some of your eating habits come from sadness and trying to get some serotonin stimulated, exercise does that naturally.

    Also, how are you doing on water? If not so great, buy yourself a 1 liter bottle to keep in the back at work.

    You can do this, you've tackled so many obstacles and taking care of yourself is one of the most rewarding!