I have been half-@$$ing this. Can you lend me some motivati

defygravity531
defygravity531 Posts: 289 Member
edited September 23 in Motivation and Support
Ok, I have to be honest with myself (and you all) here. I have been half-@$$ing my efforts at losing weight. It comes down to three things:

Mental obstacle #!: I am a lot smaller than I used to be, so I'm very happy with my body and I have gotten complacent about making it EVEN BETTER!
Response: I have to remember that just because I feel good at 170lbs doesn't mean it's a HEALTHY weight for me. 130 is a healthy weight for my height and I WILL get there!

Mental obstacle #2: I work two jobs and I feel like I never have time to plan out good food choices or go to the gym.
Response: While I do work a lot, I also spend a lot of time hanging out with my boyfriend or watching TV and if it's 8:00 or 9:00 I pretend it's too late to go to the gym even if I'm going to be up another two hours anyway! I love my boyfriend but he will understand if I need to take some time for myself. And there are TVs at the gym too, I can just watch stuff there!

Mental obstacle #3: I'm young and happy, (etc, etc) so I DESERVE to eat delicious, decadent things and go out to dinner all the time.
Response: It doesn't matter what age you are or what mood you're in. You need to do what's best for your body and put that before what looks yummy right this moment. You DESERVE to be thin and healthy for the rest of your life, not to be forever a slave to temptation.


Can anyone give me some more ideas to help reverse these mental obstacles? For example, taking X minutes to think about the consequences before I decide to eat something bad for me?

Replies

  • khanamura
    khanamura Posts: 7 Member
    Mental obstacle#1: Just because you are smaller than before, there are other people who have pushed themselves harder than you.

    Mental obstacle#2: You may work two jobs, but I know someone who worked 2 jobs and was a full-time student. I am a full-time student, and work part-time at a car dealership and part-time in the US Army Reserves and I workout 4 days a week and save Sundays for hiking EVERY week.

    Mental obstacle#3: You are young and happy, which means as you get older you will be more unhappy for your poor excuses you gave yourself at a young age.

    I know they may sound too "mean" but you gotta be mean to motivate yourself.

    When my alarm goes off at 7AM to start my morning run, I DON'T want to get up, soooo tired I tell myself. Went to sleep late I tell myself. Then I think about all the people who push themselves harder than me. What a poor excuse I am! I tell myself. Then I eventually get out of bed.

    Because of my busy schedule, I keep a bag of mandarins in my car. Healthy!
  • mixmastermolly
    mixmastermolly Posts: 272
    I can lend some (possible) motivation for mental obstacle 2. Although I'm sure working two jobs IS very busy, there are plenty of us here with very busy schedules who are able to maneuver around them. I work full time and go to school at night. I am also a single mom to a 3 year old. I often don't feel like I have any time for anything. When things are slow at work I take my cooking magazines or cookbooks and look at some recipes. Make a quick list for the grocery store so when I have time to get there the list in ready in my wallet. I usually have to plan for my day one day in advance. After I get my son to sleep I usually make breakfast and lunch and prep whatever I need to prep for dinner the next day. It's all done the night before so it's a no brainer throughout the day when my time is limited. I find it VERY hard to find time to go to the gym with my schedule so I can completely understand that. Workout DVDs may be a better option so you can throw them in at home when you have time. Soon you'll probably memorize the workout so you can do it while you watch TV.

    It's very hard to sacrifice time with our loved ones. That's one of my biggest issues. I already sacrifice enough time with my son to work and go to class. I don't want to take more time away by working out! However, I know that I can't be the best mom to him if I'm not in the best shape. This busy schedule is temporary until I get to an end result. If I'm able to create a routine for us then both he and I are used to it and everything goes a lot smoother.
  • jchecks
    jchecks Posts: 133
    so i totally heard this thing about 'counting to your age' ... its from Daphne Oz's book "The Dorm Room Diet" where she says if you're picking up something to eat (that you know you shouldnt) count to your age...for me a good slow count to 26...if you still want to eat it after that...then go ahead. but 9 times out of 10 you will realize in those seconds that you arent going to sabatoge your diet and you wont end up eating it! i thought it was pretty neat:happy:

    but seriously...i think what you've done here is really great...just putting your obstacles out there and pretty much going through your mental train of thought...great first step! we're not always going to be perfect...but we do have to treat our bodies right...dont live to eat...eat to live:flowerforyou:
    best!
  • deneesie25
    deneesie25 Posts: 20 Member
    I work two jobs and on Monday-Thursday I usually leave my house at 7:30 A.M. come home at 4:30 to let my dog out, then leave again and work until 9:45 P.M. or so. Regardless of how tired or crappy I feel, I go to the gym at least 5 days a week. I find that I have the least will power on Sundays when I am lazy or hungover, so I make myself go at 9:45 Monday-Thursdays. I pack my gym clothes the night before and already have them in my car. I have found that if I go to my house first, then I just won't leave.

    As far as food goes, I bring my lunch everyday. I had a problem of being REALLY hungry when I get home at 11:00 P.M. from the gym so I eat at 8:00 A.M., 12:00 P.M., and 4:00 P.M. and that's usually it for the day. I haven't been as strict as I should have been, so I am doing this. Let me know how it goes.
  • samb
    samb Posts: 464 Member
    I like how you have accepted your "mental obstacles" and have responses for them! That is definitely a step in the right direction. I have heard that when you feel hungry, drink a glass of water, wait 15 minutes or so and if you still feel hungry then eat because sometimes hunger is mistaken for other things such as dehydration. You sound like a very busy girl though so I understand your obstacles and way to go, seriously! Maybe you could walk on a treadmill while watching TV (at home or at the gym)? Sometimes it is really really hard for me to motivate myself and get through my own mental obstacles as you put it, but my best way is to plan to do an easy workout at the gym when I am not feeling as motivated, and then once I get there are start that, my adrenaline kicks in and usually I move on to the actual workout I wanted to do. Just make sure your workout plan is something you enjoy or at least don't dread, that way you are more likely to follow through with it instead of making excuses (I have definitely learned this first hand recently).
  • jackier19
    jackier19 Posts: 24 Member
    I LOVE your post and how confident you are!!! Too many women don't have that many positive things to say about themselves. I admire the honesty of this. But you have to keep in mind, you love how you look (which is awesome) but you also want to be healthy. Whenever you go to eat something, think about how it will affect your body. Stay away from fried, super sugary, processed foods. Once you incorporate the healthier things (whole wheat, fruits, veggies) it will get easier and easier until it becomes your first and only choice! Good luck and kudos on such an amazing outlook on your life!!!
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
    Well, it looks like you’re starting to have a conversation with yourself, but I’m not positive you’re asking the right questions. Ask yourself why you’re okay with being 40 pounds away from your goal. What are you afraid would happen if you actually made it? And yes, I think when we start to play around with self sabotage that is 100% about fear. Yes, there is a part of you that has an easy time saying you deserve to be healthy and thin, but there is some other sabotaging belief that you have that makes you want to settle for not-quite-as-fat-as-before. I say it, because I have carried around these beliefs my entire life. And I recognize it when I see it in others. You need to get deep down in that ugly place and blow it up, before you blow up your plan for a healthier, smaller you. I am not saying that going there is easy. But I honestly believe that going there is essential. And that you were called to post this right now, because that scary self-sabotaging voice was asking you to confront it.
  • Thorneapple
    Thorneapple Posts: 154
    Congrats on getting smaller! That's a good start, but it sounds like you feel you can do better. Take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if this is where you want to be.


    Planning is key! I try to do all my cooking on the weekends and then pack lunch-size containers for the week. This way I have no excuse for not eating a healthy lunch. I also chop up lots of raw veggies for snacks.

    I make my gym time first thing in the morning. Yeah, it requires getting up earlier. But if I don't make myself go first thing, I know I won't do it later.


    Good for you on the young and happy. But take it from me ... I'm 47 and avoided exercise my whole life like the plague, and ate whatever my inner child screamed for. I ended up over 50 lbs overweight, tired and with all kinds of aches and pains.. Watch out for that! Last March I commited to making myself healthier because I didn't want to end up one of those old ladies stuck in a wheelchair because her body is too weak. I have lost that 50 lbs and and am in better shape than I ever have been.

    Decide what it is you really want and go for it!
  • amandalc980
    amandalc980 Posts: 383 Member
    Ok, I have to be honest with myself (and you all) here. I have been half-@$$ing my efforts at losing weight. It comes down to three things:

    Mental obstacle #!: I am a lot smaller than I used to be, so I'm very happy with my body and I have gotten complacent about making it EVEN BETTER!
    Response: I have to remember that just because I feel good at 170lbs doesn't mean it's a HEALTHY weight for me. 130 is a healthy weight for my height and I WILL get there!

    Mental obstacle #2: I work two jobs and I feel like I never have time to plan out good food choices or go to the gym.
    Response: While I do work a lot, I also spend a lot of time hanging out with my boyfriend or watching TV and if it's 8:00 or 9:00 I pretend it's too late to go to the gym even if I'm going to be up another two hours anyway! I love my boyfriend but he will understand if I need to take some time for myself. And there are TVs at the gym too, I can just watch stuff there!

    Mental obstacle #3: I'm young and happy, (etc, etc) so I DESERVE to eat delicious, decadent things and go out to dinner all the time.
    Response: It doesn't matter what age you are or what mood you're in. You need to do what's best for your body and put that before what looks yummy right this moment. You DESERVE to be thin and healthy for the rest of your life, not to be forever a slave to temptation.


    Can anyone give me some more ideas to help reverse these mental obstacles? For example, taking X minutes to think about the consequences before I decide to eat something bad for me?

    I don't know, your three are pretty much what I needed to hear! You are totally right! If its 8 or 9 and I am watching tv I could just as easily pop in one of my Jillian Michaels and workout while I watch tv. There is no reason not to! As for obstacle #3, I love going out to dinner, but I also love finding a way to go out and keep it under 600 calories. Hello sashimi and seaweed salad instead of the rolls!
  • janesmith1
    janesmith1 Posts: 1,511 Member
    1. work out at home, there are exergames out there like EA Sports Active 2 on the xbox that are fantastic & you won't be bored.

    2. You don't have a lot to lose....you can do this. You only have 40 to lose!!! If you lost like 5 lbs a month, in 8 months you'll be at your goal weight.

    3. So, you don't like to plan your food. MISTAKE. Do it BEFORE you go bed every night, write it all down....and you can do this. If I only had 40 lbs to lose I'd be so much happier, frankly I wish I knew about MFP YEARS ago when I started to gain weight. Make that DECADES ago.

    4. You can still eat your decadent stuff, you just have to PLAN IT OUT. Losing weight is a lifestyle...you have to learn good habits and stick by them.

    5. This website works for many of us, there's always other sites out there, like SP, etc.....find what WORKS for you. (This one works for me, look at my ticker!!)
  • defygravity531
    defygravity531 Posts: 289 Member
    Well, it looks like you’re starting to have a conversation with yourself, but I’m not positive you’re asking the right questions. Ask yourself why you’re okay with being 40 pounds away from your goal. What are you afraid would happen if you actually made it? And yes, I think when we start to play around with self sabotage that is 100% about fear. Yes, there is a part of you that has an easy time saying you deserve to be healthy and thin, but there is some other sabotaging belief that you have that makes you want to settle for not-quite-as-fat-as-before. I say it, because I have carried around these beliefs my entire life. And I recognize it when I see it in others. You need to get deep down in that ugly place and blow it up, before you blow up your plan for a healthier, smaller you. I am not saying that going there is easy. But I honestly believe that going there is essential. And that you were called to post this right now, because that scary self-sabotaging voice was asking you to confront it.

    YES!! Oh man, that was exactly what I needed. It's 100% fear. I've lost 60 pounds but I've been holding steady for a LONG time now and I'm so afraid about... what if 170 is the lowest I can get? What if I fail?

    I really need to confront that ugly self doubt and decide that I'm not GOING to fail, I'm GOING to get thin.

    I also think there may be some sort of internal belief going on where... since I've been obese since pretty much birth that I'm not supposed to be truly thin? Like... it's ok to be a smaller fat girl, but not a normal, healthy sized person? BULL! I have as much right as anyone else to be the skinny girl in the room. :)

    Thanks so much!
  • janesmith1
    janesmith1 Posts: 1,511 Member
    You are VERY pretty!!! DON'T THROW THE TOWEL IN NOW!!!! I don't know what your goal weight is, but YOU CAN DO IT!!!
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