I feel like such a failure

A Diet of Forgiveness
By diane_petrella on Feb 03, 2011 10:00 AM in Dieting & You

By Diane Petrella, MSW, CPCC
If you repeatedly overeat despite your best efforts, you may be using food to cope with underlying feelings of anger and resentment. While eating may seem to be a temporary fix, it perpetuates a self-destructive problem. To find a permanent solution, add a diet of forgiveness to your weight release program.

Forgiveness is Powerful

Opening to forgiveness frees you from energy draining thoughts and feelings that can prevent weight loss progress. By feeding yourself forgiving thoughts, you release the impulse to use food to manage feelings of shame, guilt, and resentment towards others. You literally lighten your mind and body with a calming energy that sets you free.

Forgiving Others

When you open to forgiveness, you purify your mind and body with loving energy. This helps you to love and respect your body because you become a more loving and respectful person. When you harbor resentment towards those who may have hurt you in the past, it’s as if you take out on your body the hurt and neglect you experienced earlier in your life. Research has shown a link between obesity and childhood abuse, especially sexual abuse. By releasing the pain associated with childhood trauma, and liberating yourself through forgiveness, you no longer need food to self-medicate.

Forgiving Yourself

Your body has a consciousness of its own and it really does respond to your every thought and feeling. By apologizing to your body for ways you may have abused it, you communicate genuine affection. It may seem strange to think of talking to your body, but you actually talk to your body all the time anyway. Think of all the times you tell yourself that you “hate” your body, or are “ashamed” of it. To release this pattern, apologize and let it go. When you have abused or neglected your body, either by your words or actions, simply say to your body, “I’m sorry”. This isn’t a hand-wringing, people pleasing kind of apology. And it’s not about inducing guilt. It’s about freedom from guilt and taking responsibility.

Likewise, when you make a slip in your weight release plan, forgive yourself and let it go. The difference between successfully releasing weight or not, is often due to a self-loving and accepting attitude. Set-backs need not interrupt your motivation. When you respond with self-love and self-compassion, you no longer are “weighed down” by self-blame. Your weight release efforts then become effortless.

How to Forgive

Forgiveness doesn’t always come naturally, especially in this often vengeful world. But the fact is it's a gift you give to yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re excusing bad behavior. What it does is release your toxic attachment to the behavior and to the person responsible.

Forgiveness is taught in most spiritual traditions. I personally use a forgiveness process based on the Hawaiian practice called Ho’oponopono. This process is useful when you have neglected your body in any way. Simply repeat to yourself, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you for all you do for me.” The soothing energy of these words is uplifting and opens the pathway for you to forgive yourself.

When upset with others who may have hurt you, use the following forgiveness process. Begin with a release affirmation, such as, “I release these feelings (or, this anger, etc.,) into the arms of Divine Love”, or simply, “I release these feelings”. Then add, “…and I open to the healing power of forgiveness.”


Your thoughts....

How do you forgive those who have wronged you?


Diane Petrella, MSW is a psychotherapist and life coach. She offers her clients a spiritual approach to weight loss and helps them develop a loving, respectful relationship with their bodies. Click here and enter your email address for a copy of Diane’s Seven Easy & Effortless Weight Loss Secrets and to receive her monthly e-newsletter, Living Lightly, for spiritual insights and tips to release weight with confidence and love. To contact Diane directly visit her website at www.dianepetrella.com.

I guess what you have to tell yourself is that you cannot deny the foods you want, but instead, should learn how to ensure portion sizes are correct and that what you are eating fits within your calories. I know it seems like a lot of things that need to change, and I understand how it is overwhelming at times as I have more than 100 pounds to lose. Don't beat yourself up for what you did yesterday, or even earlier today, you cannot change that. Look forward towards later today and tomorrow, and make those decisions one at a time when they come at you. Soon, your eating habits may change, and then you will begin to feel better and will then see the purpose behind better decisions.

Good luck:happy:

Take control. Just say no. Just do it

Why not buy an exercise bike, then if you over eat, force yourself to work the calories back off - I think after a while you'd think the food just wasn't worth it? Just an idea lol

Don't give up we all have times like this and all you can do is take it one day at a time. One advice is to plan you meals (lots of veggies and fruits) in the morning and everytime you eat something from you list check it off and you'll be surpise at the end of the day. This works for me when I fall off the wagon. Good luck

So far I have lost 40 pounds in about 6 months. I've lost most through this website. The first thing is you need a friend to keep you accountable. Then do not think of the big picture and the total amount of weight to lose. Yeah I wanted to lose 80 pounds when I first started out. But I concentrated on 10 pound increments. Once you lose that first 10 pounds you will start to feel better. I'm at a place now where it is really hard. I'm half way to where I want to be and find myself settling with the amount I've lost. Lastly, don't weigh yourself every day. I force myself to not weigh in for at least 4 days. Plus I would rather monitor my success in my clothes and how they fit. Hope this helps

I have been eating right for almost 3 weeks and the old body has not given up a single lb. I know it will at some point... without some reward of LBS off the scale its hard.

Give yourself small achievable goals. Don't try to do it all at once.

How to programme your mind:

1) Find a dark quiet room and relax (tense up first, then make yourself relax)
2) Count backwards from 10 to 1 and imagine yourself descending some stairs
3) Choose two words to describe what you want to do (eat less, avoid chocolate, etc)
4) Repeat these words several times and stay relaxed and focused on them
5) When you're ready, count back up to 10 and imagine yourself climbing back up the stairs

Carry on as normal. Repeat the above as necessary.

Best of luck with your journey.

I struggle every day so I don't know how much help I'll be, but some things that have worked for me is to make a list of why you want to lose the weight and how your life will improve once you do and what you'll do when you lose the weight. I carry the list with me and when I'm tempted to cheat or slack off on working out, I'll look at the list. Also, I like to look at weight loss in five pound goals so it doesn't seem so overwhelming. Just start with the first five pounds and move on from there. And when I'm really needing motivation I like to go to the mall or look online at clothes I want to wear once I've lost the weight and that usually keeps me going. Also, Bob Greene's book, "The Life You Want: Get Motivated, Lose Weight and Be Happy", has really helped me. Good luck!

Don't feel like a failure, it took me over a month to learn to walk away from bad foods. Once you get into the hang of saying no, it becomes easier. I try to not even start eating something that I know I'll mindlessly eat, and remind myself it will still be there after I hit my goal. I also like to have a day where I can eat just a little bad. I'm not perfect. I still find myself mindlessly eating from time to time but I just remind myself that I'm trying to change 30 years of habits, it's not gonna happen overnight.

Don't give up!

Why do you feel so unmotivated? How miserable will you have to allow yourself to get before you decide finally do this? What baby steps can you take in order to slowly but surely re-frame your thoughts about this?

Those are some of the many questions I ask myself; and have continued to ask myself when I allow things to get me off track. When I am off track I become a seriously emotional eater. When I become an emotional eater things get really bad. The food tastes really good; and is quite satisfying going down. However, the guilt I experience after wards just adds "salt to the wound" and makes me feel even worse. :grumble: I am convinced that I have some sort of addiction to food and am trying to find more productive ways of dealing with life things I am not happy with. Does this sound familiar? If so, there are so many tools and resources available to help you!

Please love yourself enough to truly examine the real sources of your issues. There are plenty of us out there doing it too and we want you to overcome the things that are bothering you! Keep us posted so we can cheer you on!

Be Well,
Mica

I wish I could relate and this probably isn't the answer your looking for but I believe when people want something bad enough they MAKE it happen.

you might want it, but not as bad as you think.

only you have the power to change your lifestyle

Ten years ago I decided to take my lifed back and stop eating my problems,I addressed it head on and shed 130 lbs but I was ready to make the change no matter the cost. You definitly have to be ready and have to understand what makes you eat and why,when you do this you take back the control that you feel you"ve lost.I remember feeling so liberated and strong and truly powerful as a women when I took me back.you can do this and your worth it!