I need Help

edinat · February 2011

I dont know whats wrong with me...i have started this Weight loss journey end of June beginning of July, and i have lost a good amount of weight about 30 lbs. which is good i had a lot of motivation and i just kept going and going, but the last couple of months, it has been a roller coaster drive. I started at 254lbs and came all the way down to 218. Then everyone started complimenting me how great i look, how much weight i have lost, and i started liking that, i started feeling good, and i liked all those comments, even my husband kept saying how good i am doing, which is great !!!! But then i started feeling comfortable in that zone, and i started going back to my old habits , i would stop exercising, etc. I feel bad about it , then i go exercise a few days, eat right a few days, eat good all day and mess up at night etc. I started eating more sweets, and i am up to 223lbs !!! I joined the Gym thinking i am going to go regularly, guess what i am skipping, i am not regular, each day i keep waking up and saying this is it , today i am starting over, i eat breakfast , lunch i mess up and then i keep messing cuz i feel like a failure, the weight is starting to creep up on me again, and i get upset when my husband told me this, even tough i know he is right, and i don't wanna go back where i was and then start all over. The good thing is i am around 223lbs i go down and then up , and its really like roller coaster i guess its a good thing because i am not going over so with eating all this junk and not exercising i really havent gained that much, the hard part is, picking up again, and continuing.

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO and how to get my motivation back, i signed up for the marathon and i want to do it, but i dont know how to motivate myself, i am alone i have no one, to help me, no one to understand, i wish i had a real gym buddy it would be so much fun going with someone to the gym rather then myself, i want someone to push me, i have online friends and MFP which is good,but i need a real friend...

I am not going to quit and i am not going to let myself be where i was in JUNE , at 254 but i am tired of this roller coaster ride, i need it to keep moving.

GOD I HOPE someone here can give me some advice.

Thanks.

Annie5859 · February 2011

I know exactly how you feel. I am a living example of where you don't want to be. I lost 40lbs and gained 50lbs back within a year. It's horrible.

When I taking my step class tonight it was quite disheartening. I was not at all happy with my reflection in the mirrors. It just emphasized my failure and the fact that I am starting over yet again. I kept saying to myself, "You look like a fat cow!". I know that this is not good self-talk but I am so angry with myself. Why can't I stay motivated to keep the weight off? It's like I make the effort to sabotage myself. I am determined to make this my last attempt to lose weight and keep it off! I am just not sure what I will do if there comes a point when I want to give up and resort to my old habits once the weight is off.

I need to remember how precious this body is, and how wonderfully it works. I've abused it very badly. But yet it still it provides me a fulfilling life. I can't even fathom what's going on inside me to ensure my brain is functioning with clarity and my immune system is fighting who knows what to keep me healthy and strong. I have an excellent quality of life and should always remember to be grateful for my body. I should respect my body by feeding it good healthy food, and exercising it regularly. I would never take my clothes, throw them in the washer and douse them with a bottle of bleach, nor would I walk all over the rugs with my outdoor shoes on, so why do I think it's okay to eat copious amounts of sugar and fat?

I weighed myself today and I am determined to make sure that this will be the last time I will weigh 190.8 in my life!!!

The only thing I can tell you, is you need to try and break out of your rut by using positive self-talk and reminding yourself how well you are doing and YOU DESERVE this. You don't want to be where I am. Trust me.

edinat · February 2011

Thank you,

I think i am making up excuses all the time, reading my post again, i am thinking i need a friend, but i need me to wake up, pick myself up dust myself and continue on this journey, and i need to fall in love with exercising, thats what i need to do..now how do i do that?

lisateachawa · February 2011

Sometimes I tend to sabotage myself because I am safe in my old habits. When I do good and start to get more attention, then the pressure is there to keep up with all of my work. This is hard, and No one is ever satisfied, so I always have to strive for more. Then I find myself re gaining or making excuses. I don't do this intentionally, but after years and years of losing then gaining then losing then gaining I had to take a hard look at my mistakes. I realized that it is hard to change and that to make my changes permanent I have to make the changes reguardless of my many failures, forget my old habits, and make new habits (good ones). Most importantly I need to remind myself to not t pay attention to the pressure - to just do it for myself.

Currently I am losing again after gaining 22 of my 54 lb loss back. Let's hope I can make permanent changes and keep my new habits .

I am pulling for you because I am in the same boat.

niclagi · February 2011

I understand, I am a self-saboteur. Once I lose a few pounds I feel like I deserve to eat some kind of junk. But the problem is that then I eat junk for the next few days. I can't stop at one little piece of anything. I am doing ok with the weight loss but I could've been down so much more if I could actually cut out fast food completely. It makes me feel like cr*p that I don't have the same dedication or willpower as others.

It might be easier if you found an exercise class you really actually enjoy. I started doing spin classes in January and I love them. The class is very intense and hard but the moment you are done you feel euphoric. Also, I hear Zumba classes are sooo much fun. I am trying to find one in my area.

Just remember it all takes time and we are all in the same boat. You can lean on us.

Feel free to friend me.

bosanka · February 2011

Thank you,

I think i am making up excuses all the time, reading my post again, i am thinking i need a friend, but i need me to wake up, pick myself up dust myself and continue on this journey, and i need to fall in love with exercising, thats what i need to do..now how do i do that?

Agree with that.. and i must say - after reading your post i have to say i'm disappointed - not for the fact that you lost motivation and that you are gaining weight again- i did that all 2 years ago went from 289 down to 220 , liked the compliments and stopped just like you did- said everything you just said.. and i went back ,little by little to 260 yes it did take me about a year to gain it all back but i did. . and i would even more but i stood up and stopped excusing myself- no .. the motivation didn't come on its own.. no i didn't " find " it .. and the more weight you gain, the less motivation you will have so you better pick yourself up because you are not done.. no .. you are not.. i know you like the compliments just like i did,.. but my dear here is my " lesson " out of all of that

- compliment " - oh my dear.. you look soooo good , look at you "

you need to understand- just like i did- " yes you look good - compared to how you used to look like- but don't forget you are still 218-223 lbs ! that is still -obese- so you don't look THAT good

that is the lesson i have learned.. i started " liking " the compliments way to early and stopped.. if you want the same - than just stay in bed- meet you at 250 again ..

Tough love my darling.

but that's not why i'm disappointed.

I'm really hurt that after all of this you have said you need a " real " friend- like i'm some type of fiction and not a human ? what is all the other forum representing ? those women that have been there for years with you and you know we are together for more than just weight loss.. we don't count ?

I'm sorry but yes you are just looking for excuses and you are asking for justification from others.. i won't give it to you .

You need to pick yourself up, figuring out what your goal is " WHY do you need this ? I know why you need it .. you know it .. so stop whining arround and do it .

ps. to mfp- members- i know many of you will disagree with me speaking this way- but we know each other for many years and i feel very close to her so i'm not " as polite " as a stranger would be . It's like you love your own sister and you don't always stay polite to your sister when she is doing harm to herself, sometimes you need to show tough love.. and that's what i'm doing. Justifying her excuses is not going to help her.

I love you like my sister- and i really hope you get mad soon and start fighting again, .. because 223 or 218 is not the # we are looking for .. neither one of us.. yes it's a " better # than 250 ..but not good enough to stop .

lessertess · February 2011

This is a journey. And it is one that will continue for the rest of your life. There will be times when you are excited and motivated and times when you're not. During those times you just need to push through it. No excuses, you just have to force yourself.

I understand wanting a friend to help you. It is great having someone on the journey with you to share in your wins and to help pick you up when you've fallen down. However, the only person you can really count on is yourself. You've got to do it for yourself, and motivate yourself.

At the gym or doing the marathon you should try to make friends with other people. Over the years, I've made a lot of friends in various classes at the gym. Sometimes we don't know much more about each other than a name but we share the comraderie of working out in the class together and it does help motivate me to get to the class to see them.

If you've joined a gym, think of taking some sessions with a personal trainer. There's a huge amount of accountability knowing that if you don't show up and work out, you will lose the money you paid for that session. A trainer will also push you to do things that you didn't dream you could do.

Also, compliments are great but you have to take them for what they are worth. People who knew me before refer to me as "skinny" but I am actually still considered "obese" by BMI standards. People who have just met me don't think of me as skinny. Someone said it earlier. Yes, if you weighed 250 pounds and are down to 225 then you look better but you are far from finished. I strongly suggest that you set HEALTH goals not just size and weight goals. Focus on being healthy and strong rather than just looking better.

As for falling in love with exercise......do it! Find something that you really love and doesn't feel like exercise. I love Zumba and Cardio Dance Classes. Used to swim a lot. These things are fun and social so don't feel like exercise. Your's might be walking or running or whatever, but make it something that you look forward to, not dread.

Good luck on just keep plugging away.

I need Help

Replies

Categories