38 going on 21? Am I starting my midlife crisis?

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SolidGoaled
SolidGoaled Posts: 504 Member
in Chit-Chat
I am a mother of 3 and married for 16 years. For the past few months, I have just felt like all I want to do is "party".... you know, socialize, go out, drink and be merry.... I have lost interest in staying home "for quiet nights in". I catch myself daydreaming a lot about the weekends, I find myself craving the music of my teen years.... I don't know - its not a BAD feeling, but slightly unsettling. I've only lost 6 lbs, and I already feel like a "new me" is being uncovered. Or maybe the new "old me". I suppose you can look at that a lot of different ways. I just feel restless. Like I am missing out on something "out there". I am happy in my marriage, but maybe a little bit bored, too. Maybe its just spring fever - I live in the Northeast. I feel guilty - like I should be perfectly content baking brownies and dusting all day with my little apron tied up each morning. What do y'all think?

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  • wriglucy
    wriglucy Posts: 1,064 Member
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    Sounds legit. You seem to have fallen into a routine. Shake it up a bit! I'm not saying go out and party all hours of the night, you do have a family and responsibilities. But, maybe you could have a "date night" or something with your husband, or take a mini weekend away trip.

    Just a thought, but it sounds normal.

    Good luck!
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    I am a mother of 3 and married for 16 years. For the past few months, I have just felt like all I want to do is "party".... you know, socialize, go out, drink and be merry.... I have lost interest in staying home "for quiet nights in". I catch myself daydreaming a lot about the weekends, I find myself craving the music of my teen years.... I don't know - its not a BAD feeling, but slightly unsettling. I've only lost 6 lbs, and I already feel like a "new me" is being uncovered. Or maybe the new "old me". I suppose you can look at that a lot of different ways. I just feel restless. Like I am missing out on something "out there". I am happy in my marriage, but maybe a little bit bored, too. Maybe its just spring fever - I live in the Northeast. I feel guilty - like I should be perfectly content baking brownies and dusting all day with my little apron tied up each morning. What do y'all think?

    There's nothing wrong with wanting more out of life than to just cook and clean. Go and have your fun, as long as it doesn't come at the expense of your healthy lifestyle or your marriage. Take it from someone who's been there- holding in that feeling of "missing something" will make you resent your life and those in it.
  • velix
    velix Posts: 437 Member
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    I agree with wriglucy - it might be a sign that you need to take care of yourself - and I don't just mean a spa day, but genuinely make time for your interests outside of the couple and family. I have two teenage daughters and have been in my couple for 16 years, and if I didn't have a life outside of them (my work is very social, and work with some really close friends), I think I might have gone a bit stir crazy... indulge in lunch dates with your girlfriends, a girls night out at the pub - that kind of stuff - and in turn, it might make you value what you have even more than you already do =)

    Good Luck!
  • murf19
    murf19 Posts: 453 Member
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    You gotta live too. Perhaps take your spouse out for a night on the town. Enjoy the time together to spice it up a bit. Just my 2 cents.
    We all go through these types of situations. It could be cabin fever too. I live in NE and all I think about is fun in the sun!

    A family vacation to the carribean is the next step! Go ut, have fun, suggest your spouse go too, It'll be fine!
  • jay586
    jay586 Posts: 133
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    its ok everyone i think everyone has a midlife crisis go blue
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
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    There is nothing wrong with how you feel it's how you act that could get you in trouble.
    I also go through spurts where I just want to go out, party, and have a great time. Sometimes my hubby is good with it and other times not so much.

    Plan some activities that including dancing to old rock, maybe a concert (boy have they gotten spendy) maybe a dance party where you have friends over and play a game and dance.

    I think it's awesome that you feel wonderful and want to fly. :) Just don't let your wings get you into trouble. :))))
  • sweetheart03622
    sweetheart03622 Posts: 928 Member
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    Play it up a bit, but in a positive way. Use your Spring fever and your college-aged attitude and plan a total teenager date. Go to a football game, wear his jacket, and make out under the bleachers =) have fun with it. You're feelin hot, and if you include him in on it you'll feel even hotter!
  • Lisamarie7574
    Lisamarie7574 Posts: 70 Member
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    Hey There!

    I feel like I have a lot in common with you! I'm in the Northeast, in my mid thirties, married for 10 years in March and have two kids.....and I totally long for the music of my teen and young adult years, and think about how much fun I used to have on the dance floor. I think about how hot I looked then, even though I thought i totally didn't (compared to how I feel now). I find myself missing the "old days" so much! I don't have the opportunity to go out often, either with my hubby or without him, but either way I always wish that, after going to dinner, we could go hit a dance floor. The depressing thing is, you know that unless you go on a "Thirty-something Night", they are NOT going to be playing anything good! Well, there's a few great dance songs out there today, but I'm sorry, I know I sound like a senior citiizen with I say this, but today's music just is heinous compared with the 80's and 90's.

    At least we're not buying red sports cars! Chin up! I think it's too young for a real mid life crisis but it's definitely a normal phase. You're not alone!

    :) Lisa
  • kimballtracy
    kimballtracy Posts: 94
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    i dont think there is anythingn wrong with you... i think that since you have seen some weight go you are starting to feel better about your self. i know i am and i have only lost 11 lbs.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    At least we're not buying red sports cars! Chin up! I think it's too young for a real mid life crisis but it's definitely a normal phase. You're not alone!

    :) Lisa

    Uh-oh...guess I'm one of those cliched types. But for me, the car came BEFORE the midlife crisis. I regard myself as middle-aged because my mom and grandma died in their 40s, and if you go by that, I'm well into middle age.
  • MsFitnFabulous
    MsFitnFabulous Posts: 432 Member
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    I'd say that you deserve some "me time". It sounds as though you don't get to enjoy time away. Maybe talk to your husband about being able to do a girls' night out and also having a date night with him on a monthly basis. When you are able to recharge your batteries it makes you a better wife, mother, and friend :o)
  • SolidGoaled
    SolidGoaled Posts: 504 Member
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    Oh my gosh - thank you guys so much for your words of encouragement - UGH! I guess I'm normal. You've inspired me - I'm going to start by asking my hubby if he wants to go do something we used to do when we were younger - go find a bar with a pool table and play! :)
  • bahrainbel
    bahrainbel Posts: 194
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    This is probably why I have never had a successful relationship, I'm crap at routine and domesticity.

    I think you can do both, 38 isn't old, there must be a way :)
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
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    Haha---
    As everyone has said you are completely normal. I'm 35 and a SAHM to 3 children..18 years with my husband. I've been restless since my first child was born.
    You just have to find something to be passionate about other than being a mother and wife. There is nothing wrong with wanting to reach out and have MORE life! Go for it.
    I'm probably going to get a sports car- and definitely a motorcycle LOL :] and a degree.
  • brwnsugababe
    brwnsugababe Posts: 102
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    Just because you are a wife and mother does not mean that YOU have ended. It just means that you have responsibilities and your way of thinking now must be that of a family woman as opposed to a single woman. I myself am 38, am a mother of 5 and I am married. However I really dont care to much about going out and party but since I've been losing weight, I definitely want others to see it. And what better way to show it off is in smaller party clothes.

    Even if that is not the case, Everyone needs time for themselves to do what makes them happy. I'm quite sure you know how to have fun and still be responsible. Sometimes we have to put ourselves first just to be ourselves even if its for one day. Family life is great, but yes it can sometimes be boring.

    Also congrats on the weight loss this far.
  • Voncreepy2
    Voncreepy2 Posts: 1,450 Member
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    Take up a hobby just for YOU. As a mom of 3 under 6 I know how you feel. it's easy to fall into a rut.

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