I need some tough love. Give it to me straight.

Talk to BirdsofaFeather.

I know what you mean, cookies are amazing! I snack on them all the time. A year ago I was training to run a mini marathon. I needed to lose a couple pounds so I'd be able to run faster. The main thing I did was to cut cookies from my diet. Instead of cookies, I ate celery and peanut butter. You are probably thinking that peanut butter has just as many calories as cookies. That may be so, but the proteins help burn fat. So my advice to you is to find healthy snack foods. Carrots, celery, whatever. Also, get lots of proteins. When you mix proteins with exercise you burn fat. And another thing, it isn't what you eat, it is how much you eat. Eating a cookie everyonce in a while is not going to hurt your progress. If you eat 20 a day it obviously will. But one or two probably won't do much harm. Maybe you could reward yourself for sticking to your diet plan. Eat healthy 6 days out of the week, and on the seventh, if you made your goal, have 6 or 7 cookies!

Well, I am pretty blunt, so here goes! This site, as you know is wonderful, but you have to get off your lazy butt and do it! Make your schedule and stick to it. Stop beating yourself up and just do it. Everyday, do it. Eat with intention..and when you over come a temptation...tell yourself you are proud of YOU! No one can do this for you...so just do it. If its your time to shut up and stop damning yourself, then you will.

I am sick and tired of ME, my reflection...my crap, my Monday decisions and Fridays failures! So with Gods help, and me being mad enough, which I am...but my committment, my life committment to health is more importatant!!! Is it like that with you? Are you ready to give yourself THIS!!!????

I'd love to be your friend and help to encourage, but honestly, if you don't want this, this will be like everything else..right?
Add me as a friend, and we can do this together, but if not I wish you the very best regardless.
God bless....and from me, Melissa....JUST DO IT!

I know the vicious cycles all too well and the hopelessness they can make me feel. And I totally get the cravings & cavings you talked about. The thing that sucks is that you're not going to change until you're ready for it. And maybe you are just not ready. Or, maybe you are and you're just a hair away from a breakthrough.

Losing weight is more than just getting to a goal. It's a process and for some (like myself and you) it's some steps forward and some steps back. The worst thing you can do is beat yourself up over it. I'm not saying that I co-sign on bullsh*t and would feed you lines of "one day at a time" or "that's okay we all have bad days" (both true but won't do you any good at this point) but attitude and self respect is a huge part of getting to the end goal.

As for the cravings and cavings... The only thing I have found that works for me is abstinence. Yes, the word is scary but it's the only way I have found to stay away from the foods that cause that vicious cycle. Sugar is my enemy. I eat it and there's no stopping me. I have to have dessert every night, then a sweet treat after lunch too and then the next thing I know I'm eating sugar for every meal. So, I stay away. It sucks, it's hard especially for the first few weeks. BUT it doesn't suck as bad as being severely overweight, overcome by cravings, giving in to the cravings and feeling emotionally weak, with a face full of acne and low energy.

I heard or read somewhere that it takes 21 days to form a good habit. So try to set some goals to follow for the next 21 days and then take it from there.

The only reason I write so much is because I totally relate and feel for you and the spot you are in. I hope I said something that was helpful.

Best of luck.

A few things:

--If you know you can't help but eat the cookie, why are they anywhere near you? This goes for other crappy food in your house. If you're stuck eating crap, you will eat crap. If you have fresh berries, fruits, veggies, even microwave meals, you will eat them. Get yummy, healthy snacks, and you won't be craving cookies.

--In addition, stop trying to quit food. You shouldn't deprive yourself to the point where you get hungry enough to NEED a certain food. There will be times when you would like a certain food, and that's okay, just know that it needs to be accounted for in your calorie intake. I'm still losing weight eating the occasional [ONE] cookie or [1/2 cup] ice cream.

--Honestly, I think you look good. I understand wanting to tone up or lose weight, but it's hard to do if you don't have much to lose. You will probably lose weight at a slower rate than someone who has 200 pounds to lose. Your lifestyle is probably somewhat healthy, just needs a few little tweaks.

--If you aren't already tracking, track all of your food and exercise. If you don't measure your food's portions, start. If you're not drinking water, drink. Travel by foot or bike whenever you can. Take the stairs. Increase your fiber intake, it makes you feel fuller longer. Set mini-goals, and look at your goals as milestones. Good luck. Stay motivated.

Put down the cookie and pick up some weights. It sounds like you're concentrating on running, some yoga, and pilates, but no weights. If you really want to lose weight and get toned, then you are going to have to lift some weights (unless you are doing some pretty advanced yoga, and with your focus on running I'm guessing you are not). I would suggest reading Oxygen magazine (yes, I always suggest that). There are several fitness and figure competitors who made their way from obsession with food and eating disorders to where it sounds like you want to be. A figure competitor in the off-season is probably what you want to shoot for - not too big or bulky, and sexy as hell.

Also, your next goal weight should be maybe 170. Mini-rewards of 3-5 pounds can be continued in the beginning, and later on if still needed. Reward yourself with a massage, new CD, or something non-food related. Also non-exercise related works well if you like (for example, a CD that is not for working out to). I would say that you need to get a notebook and plan out your meals for the week. 5-6 small meals a day, along with your grocery list, and stick to it. Carry it with you everywhere. When you are tempted, open up your notebook, tsk, tsk, and say, "Well, that's not on the menu today - I'm having ___fill in the blank___." By eating 5-6 times a day you will never feel like you are hungry. In fact, some people get sick of eating so often at the beginning that they say they "can't" finish what's planned for the day. That is the ultimate mistake. Plan what to eat, when to eat it, and eat it. Your body will adjust quickly, and you'll be glad that food is never far away.

The question I used to ask myself when I wanted to pick up a cookie or order a pizza (back when I was losing 100 pounds) was: is this worth dying for? That's one of the only things that would get me to break the cycle. Your thoughts can be modified to be less extreme over time, of course. If you want a cookie, put it in your meal plan for the week, and then eat what's in the meal plan. With your history with food, it sounds like you need a month or two of extreme modification before you can start to relax things more. Sometimes that's just the way it is. I was there.

Oh, I just saw the 174. :drinker:

An article my Dad sent me a long time ago. It helps to put it in perspective:

One Meal to Good (or Bad) Health
Everyone knows a good diet is important for long-term well-being. But a new study shows that it's also crucial for good health today
By LAURA BLUE


Posted Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2008 Want to know how many cheeseburgers you'd have to eat before they start doing damage to your body? The answer, according to a review of new dietary research, is just one. Just one high-fat, high-sugar meal can trigger a biochemical cascade, causing inflammation of blood vessels and immediate, detrimental changes to the nervous system, according to the paper, published this week in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology. And just one healthy meal helps return your body to its optimal state. "Your health and vigor, at a very basic level, are as good as your last meal," says lead author James O'Keefe, head of preventive cardiology at the Mid America Heart Institute in Kansas City, Mo.

Here's how it works. When you eat, your body breaks down the food into a stream of nutrients, including glucose (sugar), lipids (fats), and amino acids (the building blocks of protein). If your meal happens to be junk food — say, a processed bun with a cheap beef patty, French fries and a Coke — the rush of sugar causes something called "post-prandial hyperglycemia": a big spike in blood-sugar levels. Poor diet in the long-term leads to hypertension and buildup of gunk in blood vessels that increases heart-attack risk. But there are short-term effects too. "People don't understand this, even most physicians," says O'Keefe. Tissue becomes inflamed, just as it does when infected. Blood vessels constrict. Free radicals, unstable molecules that cause cell damage and are thought to contribute to chronic disease and aging, are generated. The body's stress response has a bigger effect on blood pressure, raising it higher than normal. People may notice they feel crummy a few hours after eating junk food. And the sudden surge and drop in insulin — the hormone that spurs your body to store energy — also leaves them feeling hungry again soon after eating, despite having had plenty of calories.

The good news is that these blood-sugar spikes and crashes are easy to regulate. Blood sugar will rise and fall quickly if, for example, a person eats an easily digested meal of only white bread. Eat some vinegar with the bread, however, and the impact is dampened: The vinegar slows digestion, helping to keep blood-sugar levels more even. The same thing happens if a person takes his bread with nuts or with a glass of wine. (The dampening effect of alcohol reverses after more than a couple units, which may help to explain why moderate drinking, but not heavy drinking, is associated with long life.) The common denominator of all these slow-release foods, says O'Keefe, is a generally high nutritive value with low calories. The healthy foods are exactly the ones you would expect, all that stuff your mom (and your doctor) told you to eat: lots of fresh vegetables and fruits, lean proteins like fish and legumes, and high-fiber whole grains. All of them blunt the post-prandial spike. "To some degree it kind of highlights why some dietary components are healthy for you," says O'Keefe.

Regardless of its benefits, healthy food can leave you feeling unsatisfied if you're used to eating junk. Junk food distorts a person's hormonal profile, says O'Keefe. Note, for example, the previously mentioned drop in insulin that leaves a person hungry not long after eating a heavy meal. Studies suggest that fatty, sugary foods promote excretion of the stress hormone cortisol, which seems to further stimulate appetite for calorie-dense foods. And the big post-meal spikes in blood sugar are more likely in people who don't exercise or those who carry weight around their abdomen. All of it makes it tough for people to stop eating junk food once they're in the habit. "The more you eat it the more you crave it. It becomes a vicious cycle," says O'Keefe. The solution? "I tell people they should get a home glucose monitor," he says. Then you can see immediately what your meals are doing to your body. It may help you stick to your plan to eat well, too. "You can improve your health, basically, from hour to hour," he says.