Struggling to Stay Engaged

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bfrice1
bfrice1 Posts: 62
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm not accustomed to actually expecting anything of myself, so discipline is a real issue. I won't go into the details of the past two days, suffice to say, I fell off the wagon - hard; bumped my head, left myself in a daze. Seriously.

Anyway, I was tempted to simply skip entering what I ate - I didn't want anyone to know that I didn't make my calorie goals. I've been on this slippery slope before. When I stop talking about my weight loss plans, I give up on my weight loss plans. I figure everyone will see that I totally failed, and then make a point to mention that I failed (I'm lookin' at YOU, Mom).

I hate it when people point out my flaws and failure, it just compounds the feeling of failure, worthlessness, and what not. I HATE it.

And that's what I was thinking when I didn't want to do my food or exercise diary. I've kind of skated on exercising - I've only been walking my son to school and back (which I enjoy). Honestly, I only intended to take a day off because the tae bo leaves me kind of sore. And then I took another day off because, well...

So we're back to discipline - no pain, no gain, right? I don't want a fresh start, because that means I gave up and I'll have to start all over again from square one. I don't feel like I'm at square one. I Only feel like I've lost time, and that's what has me worried. I have set a vague deadline for myself (don't worry, it's not 60 or 90 days or anything scary like that) but I feel like I have to make up the lost ground.

I will say this, however...when I think of it like that - making up lost ground, I don't feel quite so bad. It makes me feel like a sprinter who stumbled a bit, then has to run like hell to make up what was lost.

So, I finished my food diary for yesterday. We'll see how today goes. It's hasn't started out with a bang, but for now, I'm still here.

Replies

  • sweetheart03622
    sweetheart03622 Posts: 928 Member
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    All that matters is you jump back on when you've fallen off. Don't be too hard on yourself. This is a daily struggle that we all are going through. Some days are easier than others and some days are a total fail. You'll get it figured out and figure out what works for you.
  • klmmoore
    klmmoore Posts: 98 Member
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    Its not easy to log everything, especially when you know your going to be way over your calories, but no one on here will judge you. We all have days, even weeks like that. Congratulations on being able to recognize these things. Having self discipline is a hard thing to learn but just stick with this and it will get better. Log your walks to school with your son, that counts too!
  • 1harleygal
    1harleygal Posts: 226 Member
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    :wink: Honestly you are way to hard on yourself! You are not the only who how has fallen off the wagon nor will you be the last one! Just say ok this is a bust but tomorrow will be better and go on! I can bet all of us on this site has or do feel the same as you about not wanting to be truthfull about what we ate but you have to be to make this work and by sticking to it and being honest it will work for you! You have to be happy in your own skin and love yourself NO MATTER WHAT!!!
  • juliana1977
    juliana1977 Posts: 153 Member
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    I will apoligize beforehand because I wont be too nice with you even tough I do fall off of the wagon and I do think it is normal, we are only humans.
    BUT, PLEASE, keep on being hard on yourself!!! PLEASE, keep on logging in everything that goes thru your mouth into you belly.

    Why am I being not too nice and not saying what most of people would say? Because if every single time I fall off of the wagon I am not hard to myself and I do not log in everything I ate I will be betraying myself. I need to see what I did wrong in orer to fix it. But we cannot think it is ok (although normal) to have bad days too often. Once I get in the habbit of saying it is ok, I will start tomorrow all over again, and if I dont see the damage of the high caloric day I would give up too easily by goign back to the way I was before.

    So yes, when I do have a not so good day (2 days in the past 50 days) I am hard on myself and I log in everything and make sure I know.

    For it works, it what keeps me on going and on track, bc I really dont want to see my cholesterol and triglicerides up in the sky again and i do enjoy losing my pants, lol! : )

    Keep on going and learn from the not so good days!
  • Darka
    Darka Posts: 24 Member
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    Accountability is important whether you have a great day or cheat. Accept that you had a bad day and get back on the wagon. We all have had the blips in the road and it doesn't have to take away from all the good we've accomplished. Best of luck to you on your journey!

    I, myself , am guilty of not wanting to fill out my food log on a "bad" day. But, I force myself, and learn from it. It's getting much easier for me these days. There are less off days for me.
  • steffilily
    steffilily Posts: 149
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    I knew for a long time that I really needed to stop making excuses and stop being ignornant about what i am eating. I knew I needed something to motivate me to actually start doing something. It took me few weeks to really think about how to reward myself, and that it has to be something I will really work towards to. I came up with rewards for every 5 pounds I lose from 5 to 150 pounds. Every 25 pounds and 50 pounds has a bigger reward then at the end of 150 has the biggest reward. Then i needed the motivation to stay on or under the calorie goal, so i "pay myself" 1 dollar a day for each day i did that. When I have enough money, i will treat myself to a pedicure or something i've been wanting to pamper myself with.

    Then seeing myself actually losing weight helped me be more motivated to keep going. It's only been 10 days for me using the MFP and i'm really hoping i can keep going till i lose all the 150 pounds.

    Hope you will be able to also find ideas of how to reward yourself.
  • bfrice1
    bfrice1 Posts: 62
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    @juliana1977: You make a good point - you didn't offend me or anything, I didn't take it the wrong way. I'm not looking for a reason to go lightly on myself, but sometimes it's just hard, and I'm not accustomed to doing what's hard. As for staying on track...

    @steffilily: I like your idea! I'm am going to reward myself by socking away for a manicure!

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