Everything to lose, literally and otherwise - Night eater t

mrjason · February 2011

Hi

I'm here on this site, downloaded the app and am trying to make an honest attempt at this I'm a 35 year old guy . At my heaviest, I weighted 360. I weigh 320 now. I had lap band surgery in December 2009 and have gained close to 75 pounds SINCE THE SURGERY. I lost my job before the band could ever be adjusted correctly and my new insurance doesn't cover adjustments. I'm really at the end of my rope. I'm part of this Biggest Loser contest at work but still, hard to get motivated. I've got a daughter who's almost 3 and would love to have another kid soon. All of my clothes that I bought after the weight loss don't fit and I gave away the big stuff so I had to by new big clothes. I find comfort in food, I find it hard to excercise. I've got apena and diabetes and really have to get to an understanding that I have to lose somewhere around 150 pounds in the next couple of years if I want to have a future. As much as that SHOULD motivate me, it's not really working. I've been getting fatter and life is starting to take its toll.

I lost most of the 75 before by staying away from most carbs, and limiting myself to 20-30 grams a day or less. Once I ate my first "regular" meal last February, I completely fell off the wagon. I get up early as it is and work a lot. I literally don't know where to find time for working out.

So, I had surgery and failed. I've been on every diet plan in the world and failed. Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Optifast. Did I mention SURGERY? My biggest issue is that I'm a compulsive night eater. Much like a drug addict, I have to make sure I have a "stash" of something sweet under the bed. Chocolate, Cookies, etc. I wake up in the middle of the night like clockwork and eat. In the rare occasions I don't have a stash, I raid the kitchen. I'm awake and somewhat aware of what I'm doing, but the consequences of my actions are irrelevant when I'm doing this. I've seen a shrink, she doesn't know what to do except for sleeping pills...I wake up through those too.

I sort of feel like I'm screwed before I even start. I have no willpower yet I have tons. I know what to do, just having so much trouble actually doing it. I can't get over the fact that I was losing and lost weight, and I let it all come back in under a year.

Not sure if this is going to help me, or if I'm just writing it because I needed to say this "out loud", but I need help and will try really heard to use this website and app to give me that help. My wife is giving me pressure to start weight watchers again, but I really don't see how it's different than this.

Thanks for reading. Hopefully we'll all come out the other end as success stories.

karljp · February 2011

Thanks for sharing Jason! The only thing I can say is focus on that 3-year daughter of yours and future children. Think about them and use that to change your behaviors. You have future goals to be there for them! You are 35 and you have so much time left, but only if you commit yourself to changing your behaviors and fighting your addiction to food. Only you can make a change and there is no quick fix, just hard work and a different lifestyle. We all have our issues/demons/addictions, you are not alone or the exception and it is very difficult to stop and make a change when it is so much easier to stay the same. BUT, it is possible with the right incentive, you have that in your life. Look at her, keep her picture with you and when you want to eat crap, pull it out, and choose something else. Teach her, and show her the way she should, live, eat, excercise and set her up for success to not go down the same path. You are her Daddy, and it is your job remain here for her and give her the gift of you for as long as possible. Now do it!

catcrazy · February 2011

Hi and welcome

Firstly I think you need to stop saying CAN'T and DON'T. You can do this but only if you stop the negatives from the start.

If you are munching on crap stop buying crap. You have a child that looks to you for guidance and is at the age where what she is seeing is being absorbed like a sponge. Its fair enough to let a child have a cookie or candy etc but not daily so make those a once or twice a week treat bought singularly, NO multipacks!...if you dont keep it in the house you cannot eat it.

Aim to change one thing a week...just one. So this week stop buying the things you are bingeing on. Next week you could get up just 10 minutes earlier to run up your stairs a few times before getting ready for work...start small. trying to change everything all at once WILL lead to failure for most people, why set yourself up for failure.

I'd suggest adding people on here, when asking for adds state that you want people to view your diary and keep you accountable. For this you do have to be 100% honest in your logging and only you can do this but if you are honest and give it 100% then you'll get lots of support thru the good and the bad

Good luck

cris12 · February 2011

Hi mrjason,

What you wrote hits close to home, my dad weighs around 320 right now also, but he's 57. Once I joined this site and started reading on weight loss (for myself) I started passing on the knowledge and have at least got him to work out every morning. I will soon try to get him to join, or at least start logging calories for him, so he can see what he needs to improve in his diet.

Don't think about the failures you've had but the successes you're about to have. Really, it's all about knowledge. The more I read the more I understand why my body reacts in certain ways. Start by calculating the calories you as a maintenance level (meaning the calorie intake you need to neither lose nor gain weight) and start cutting back on those by around 30%. Really be faithful about logging everything you eat on your diary, and see how it goes for a week or so. If it went well, keep at it, if not, see what you need to improve or if you need to cut on your calories a bit more.

Feel free to add me as a friend, I'd be glad to share anything I know, and don't get discouraged, there's SO many people on this site in it for the same thing

rileysowner · February 2011

First of all welcome to the site. It can be a great tool to help losing weight, however, from your post it strikes me that you have other issues that are causing you to eat, even when you know you shouldn't. By that I am not saying that you should not eat at night, because it really doesn't matter if you eat at night as long as you can keep within you calorie budget for the day. I mean you know you have to lose weight, and your weight is likely the cause of much of your health problems causing you to feel sick and tired, yet the very thing that causes that, you consumption of food, is what you say gives you comfort. Losing weight is as much learning different mental patterns as much as it is controlling calories.

I didn't really find comfort in food, but I did enjoy eating and was up to 255 or more when I got pneumonia. Ironically it was right when I started to think I was tired of being sick and tired and started working out. The pneumonia would not go away and my blood pressure was sky high 220/180. My doctor booked a CT scan and added some meds to help the blood pressure, but the blood pressure stayed high, and due to infection caught while I had the pneumonia my heart function was compromised and the strength is pumped went down about 30%. Due to that decrease in heart function (it took about 6 months for specialists to figure this out) I had a stroke and was in hospital for almost a week near the end of January. When I got home I resolved I would take control of the factors of my health I could. I had already lost 20 pounds (10 from water weight when I was put on a diuretic for my blood pressure and 10 due to the stroke) but knew I needed to get down to 160-165 pounds. I started working out and eating healthy food, but didn't really lose anything again until June when I took a careful look at what I was eating and realized that as healthy as the food was, it was still too many calories. I cut back the calories and started losing and continue to do so to this day. I have a 5 year old boy who I want to see grow up. Having a stroke, even one that the doctors say is very unlikely will ever happen again, at 43 was my wake up call and I listened.

The good news is I have lost a lot of the weight I need to. My blood pressure is good, and I have been taken off of several of the meds I was on. Better yet, my heart function is back to normal, and the tests they did of my neck arteries shows no blockages and only minimal plaquing. I am in some ways still recovering from the stroke although the effects are pretty much gone except my energy levels when drained take a lot longer to recover than most people. The neurologist says that will pass as well.

You can do this. You need to consider your view of food and I would suggest you find a different and better comfort, because while food may help for a moment, it will result in your health getting increasingly worse and your need for comfort will increase only to turn to food more and continue the cycle. Food is not a good comfort in any way, just a lying comfort that will increase your misery.

lloydrt · February 2011

Jason, I ve come to realize one thing when it comes to addiction. Food most certainly is a drug. Like alcohol, marijuna, speed, coke, its all the same, only thing, food isnt so ugly like heroin but I think it destroys the body just like drugs

but think about this.........food is an addiction ,but you need it to survive

when an alcholic goes thru rehab, and hes dried out, they dont give him alcohol after he gets out "in moderation" ....Same with drug addicts, they dont then let them use in"moderatio"

But you have to eat food. You dont have to drink or get high to survive, but you need food as fuel..........thats the rough part.

The only thing that saved me was staying focused and knowing that food was in the process of killing me if I didnt get a handle on it.........

You may want to talk to your cousellor and let him know how out of control it is, as well as solutions for this, ie., not having food in the house and working with your wife in regards to eating.......

Were here for you, thanks for adding me as your friend. Im not a professional or an expert, Im just some one who didnt give up........Lloyd

cmriverside · February 2011

Food addiction is difficult to overcome. Not impossible.

I'd find another "shrink" (your word). If all she offered was sleeping pills, she did you a great disservice.

I've seen a few different counsellors over the years for various acute situations I needed help with. Some of them are good, some of them are terrible, and a very few ask great questions and are willing to actually help. But in general, I don't trust them. They can't possibly know you as well as you do. None of them can do it for you. This is up to you to sort out.

You could look into Over Eaters Anonymous. It is a program similar to AA. It may or may not help you, but overeating is related to and often starts with a psychological trigger. Then once you have become a food abuser, it changes your biological systems and you react differently to food than you did before you created this "habit".

I've found my best solutions come from a journal. Every day spend 30 minutes to an hour writing about your problem. Just start typing and let whatever comes out go into your journal. You'll be surprised at the things you will learn about yourself - and at your own ability to heal yourself. You already touched on this when you said you wanted to get it all out. Trust me, it isn't out yet. The last issue I dealt with was the loss of a man (we stopped seeing each other.) It took me pages and pages of anger before I began the real work of how to get well again.

You can do this for yourself. You are worth it, and there are many stories to read here on MFP. Stay with it this time. Live your life.

Good luck :flowerforyou:

Everything to lose, literally and otherwise - Night eater t

Replies

Categories