I need a few words of encouragement.

irishpagan
irishpagan Posts: 30
edited September 24 in Motivation and Support
I am 25 and a certified herbalist. I have been trying to get in shape for several years, always off and on. Since my big step forward about 5 years ago I have lost 25 lbs. Lately things have been feeling rather rock bottom. I don't seem to have gained much weight back, it fluctuates between 135 and 138 but I just don't care any more. I just split with my fiance of four years and am in the process of moving out. Before the break up, I had picked up smoking again and was drinking every day (note not getting drunk, usually a maximum of two rum and cokes, but still incredibly unhealthy). As a health student I realize how drastic these actions are. But I just don't care. I don't have any friends here to help me along having just moved to a big city from a very small town. The most social activity I get is going to work. So I my situation is how do I get back to where I need to be?

Replies

  • gangstagirl625
    gangstagirl625 Posts: 187 Member
    honey your body is a temple treat it like one its the only one your gonna have. also no and i mean no man is worth al that.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    I can TOTALLY relate to being new somewhere and not having friends...it takes some time. Maybe try joining a gym? Or taking on a very part time fun job like bartending or waitressing? :) Add me if you'd like!
  • amyoliver85
    amyoliver85 Posts: 353 Member
    Hi, you know what? Right now, what you're doing doesn't seem all that bad. Maybe that's not what you want to hear. But it's the truth.

    Right now, hun, it seems like the world is upside down. And it might be like that for a bit.

    But you will be able to pick yourself up and dust yourself off down the road.

    Don't worry about it right now. Right now you are in the relationship abyss. You are moving out. You are trying to clear your head. You are trying to figure out where things went wrong (even if you know, you still don't KNOW) and you're trying to figure out what to do next.

    Give it time.
  • irishpagan
    irishpagan Posts: 30
    It wasn't the man that was leading me to take up all the bad habits, it was the stress of the failing relationship. We'd been trying to fix it for 4 years and nothing seemed to work. He is a good man, we're just not meant for each other. Thank you for the encouragement though. :)
  • A_New_Horizon
    A_New_Horizon Posts: 1,555 Member
    Don't be so hard on yourself. You are in an adjustment period. Give yourself some time to adjust to new things. I agree with joining the gym if you can; it will allow you to run off some energy and frustration. Exercising is a good way to just let go. We are your friends here!!!
  • nlewis22
    nlewis22 Posts: 107 Member
    Well, Irishpagan, I would take this time to take a step back and reflect on what YOU truly want out of your life. I had a semi-similar experience with a hurtful, horrible break up from a man I loved at the time. I thought I would never get over it. I ate when I was sad, I ate when I felt better and I also picked up on smikong, drinking and doing other activities that women with self respect just don't do. Then, I left and started over. It was hard, certainly not easy, but I did. I took time, I wrote a list of what I wanted out of MY life for ME and I wrote a mission statement and posted it on my bedroom wall, so that every morning when I woke up, I would see it. Even on dyas that I didnt' believe it, it was there reminding me that I had things to accomplish. I also became more reliant on prayer, but maybe meditation is more your style, either way find some time every day to just be. Let your thoughts become calm. After a few months of this new place, trying to rebuild what had been broken, trying to move on with my education and career, trying to go back to the body that had been so loved a year before, I finally found someone who didn't mind the extra pounds. He did mind the self destructive behavoir and encouraged me to stop it, he still does. So please believe me when I say that even in your darkest hour, there is hope.
    You want to know how I got out of bed each morning when I didn't think I would ever want to? When I prayed to not wake up and did? I got a dog. They are amazing little creatures and also have to be walked everyday. I suggest you do the same. If not a dog, something else then, so you do actually have to get up and face the day.
    Best of luck and I hope this helped. Feel free to add me as a friend.
  • amyoliver85
    amyoliver85 Posts: 353 Member
    Just like nlewis22, I also had a bad experience like that.

    And just like you...I knew he was a good man. I knew that we just didn't click and we just couldn't make it work. And that is soooo difficult. Because when you love someone you want to know what's wrong with you that you can't make it work. But it isn't you. Sometimes, it just doesn't work.

    Karma usually does prevail. I have also now found a man who encourages me to better myself and supports me through bettering myself.
  • irishpagan
    irishpagan Posts: 30
    Thank you, all of you, for so much encouragementt! Thank you so much for not just telling me I'm wrong and being overly emotional. I think what I really needed to hear was that I'm doing okay. It actually made me cry a little. :) With everything going on I forget how strong and supportive women can be for each other. Thank you. :heart:

    P.S. I do have one fabulous pain in the *kitten* cat. ;)
  • ladybu6205
    ladybu6205 Posts: 165 Member


    P.S. I do have one fabulous pain in the *kitten* cat. ;)

    OK, that just made me laugh! We had a dog, but unfortunately because I'm living with my grandfather while I go through my divorce, we do not have the dog with us. My daughter is devastated that we can't have her, as Lucy is her best friend and gives her comfort. but until I can get a full time job or at least another job to help me afford to get a place to rent, my husbands Aunt is keeping our dog.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories