HOW TO SHOWER
icandoit
Posts: 4,163 Member
Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry Hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you See husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make Mental note to do : more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body! with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off - Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was Hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo Sound again.
Throw wet towel on her pillow.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth there is something SO very wrong with you. :-)
Have a great day!
Oh, and... Woo-woo!!!)
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry Hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you See husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make Mental note to do : more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body! with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off - Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was Hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo Sound again.
Throw wet towel on her pillow.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth there is something SO very wrong with you. :-)
Have a great day!
Oh, and... Woo-woo!!!)
0
Replies
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Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry Hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you See husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make Mental note to do : more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body! with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off - Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was Hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo Sound again.
Throw wet towel on her pillow.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth there is something SO very wrong with you. :-)
Have a great day!
Oh, and... Woo-woo!!!)0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: HILARIOUS!!0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost peed myself :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I lovin this:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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LOL, do you have a camera in my house : O0
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Ha ha I was thinking the same thing.....LOL, do you have a camera in my house : O0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :happy: WOW!!!!!!!!! I laughed so hard i woke my husband up :ohwell: and my 14 yr old got out of bed to see what was so funny(and that takes alot for both) HOLY CRAP that was funny and yes I will be passing it on to a few co-workers that will find it as funny as I did. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Thanks for the laugh I needed it.0 -
That's what I am here for:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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Sooo true! That is too funny- LOL!0
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Nothing Wrong with how a man showers.....
hey, all the essentails are covered while showering.... and, does a shower not have a drain? the pee ends up in the same place, it just has a different starting point...no biggie....and the bathroom is the one place equipped with a fart fan....heck...were doing you women a favor, and we still get no respect...
lol0 -
LMAO!!!! That was so funny! Thanks for sharing!!0
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LOVE IT! ahahaha everyone thought i was crazy when i suddenly started to laugh outloud!!!
the weiner hake with the woo woo sound got me because its soooo true!!
hahaahaahhahahaha, thanks for the good laugh0 -
Nothing Wrong with how a man showers.....
hey, all the essentails are covered while showering.... and, does a shower not have a drain? the pee ends up in the same place, it just has a different starting point...no biggie....and the bathroom is the one place equipped with a fart fan....heck...were doing you women a favor, and we still get no respect...
lol
Men, never look at it from our point of view. To me it not what you do in the shower that is disgusting it is the way you go about it. Peeing in the shower wouldn't bother me but I AM THE ONE WASHING THAT SHOWER AT THE END OF THE WEEK, I wouldn't have to work so hard if you would think before you pee. Don't most showers come right next to the stool. Most men by now are good enough shots that you can, Open shower curtain, lift lid AND seat, AIM, and PEE. I am the one that has to walk in the after you have farted and not once do you guys warn us so we wait til the fan has a chance to work, no, you just let us walk in and then laugh while we are gagging and vomiting because of the smell. Now I know some women that have bad gas but be considerate, WARN US PLEASE and don't pee in the shower.
Hey thanks for letting me get that out :blushing:0 -
Nothing Wrong with how a man showers.....
hey, all the essentails are covered while showering.... and, does a shower not have a drain? the pee ends up in the same place, it just has a different starting point...no biggie....and the bathroom is the one place equipped with a fart fan....heck...were doing you women a favor, and we still get no respect...
lol
amen brother i feel your pain..lol no respect0 -
:bigsmile:0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
That is so true it has to make you laugh!!
Thanks icandoit!!0 -
Okay, so let me get this straight...you want us to put our clothes into a sectioned hamper????
(the rest went by in a blur of giggles from my wife).
Cowboy0 -
OMG! Is there a camera in my house!!!!!!!!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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Nothing Wrong with how a man showers.....
hey, all the essentails are covered while showering.... and, does a shower not have a drain? the pee ends up in the same place, it just has a different starting point...no biggie....and the bathroom is the one place equipped with a fart fan....heck...were doing you women a favor, and we still get no respect...
lol
:laugh:
My husband calls it a fart fan too.0 -
LMAO!!! That was great!!! Now if I could only get my husband to use the Fart FAn!!!!:laugh:0
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My God no wonder it takes y'all so long to shower.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Walk towards bathroom stripping as you go, allow clothes to fall where they will, someone will pick them up, clean and put away, turn on shower allowing temp to adjust while you scratch. get in soap down wash hair rinse of climb out twoel off drop towel grab clothes and put on as you walk through house, repeat every saturday as needed.0 -
I'm crying! :bigsmile: You almost triggered an asthma attack (not kidding, definitely intrigued my husband), need to blow my nose, and yeah, I'll join the "almost peed" club too! :laugh:
For all they guys out there, my husband has your back, but defends every step previously mentioned! (except the wet towel ends up on my side of the bed rather than my pillow):drinker:0 -
You mean it's not called a fart fan? I'll bet you can ask any guy at your local Home Depot and if you ask for a "fart fan" they'll know what aisle to point you down. We can't help it if you guys don't know what the fan is called and what it's for.....geez
Cowboy:laugh:0 -
I'm forwarding this!
Woo-woo!!!:laugh:
~Joanna:flowerforyou:0 -
You mean it's not called a fart fan? I'll bet you can ask any guy at your local Home Depot and if you ask for a "fart fan" they'll know what aisle to point you down. We can't help it if you guys don't know what the fan is called and what it's for.....geez
Cowboy:laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
LMOA!!! TY haven't laughed out loud like that in a long time. I gotta copy that, and give it to my husband, fits him 2 a T.0
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I don't know how many times I have had to mop up the floor because my boyfriend didn't notice the shower curtain half in and half out! Good thing our mirror is to high to admire certain features!0
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