Unsupportive Facebook friends
PepsiGal
Posts: 85 Member
I have been sharing my MFP goals and progress on Facebook and I'm thinking I'll stop doing that. Why? Either my FB friends don't comment or they say things like "Are you starving yourself?", "1600 calories are too low!", blah-blah. I started MFP with a modest goal of losing 10 lbs. Maybe my FB friends think I'm nuts because they don't view me as overweight. But, they don't know or remember that I used to be nearly obese 10 years ago and lost 50 lbs in 9 months. Gaining 10-12 lbs after 8 years of relatively successful maintenance is kind of troubling. So, I'm taking control and striving to improve my eating and fitness.
I'm not pissed at my FB friends, just a little disappointed. However, people on MFP are amazing and supportive! Thank God for this site! I love how there's support for all kinds of people, no matter how little or big their goals are.
I'm not pissed at my FB friends, just a little disappointed. However, people on MFP are amazing and supportive! Thank God for this site! I love how there's support for all kinds of people, no matter how little or big their goals are.
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Replies
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I get much the same from my FB friends. Everytime I update my weight loss, I get somethinig like "You are going to wither away to nothing" or something like that.
I stopped sharing my MFP information with FB friends as well.0 -
I don't share my MFP stuff on Facebook. Most of my "real life" friends know that I'm exercising and watching what I'm eating anyways and when I meet a big goal I mention it, but I don't update all of my exercise stuff or when I'm under on calories, etc.0
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You can limit what MFP posts to facebook. Mine only posts when I've lost weight or make a 'status' update on here. I have refrained from sharing my food or exercise diary because of the same concerns. I have FB friends that would either think I'm starving myself or feel like I'm rubbing it in because they are much larger than I. Good thing we can find great support here. Keep up the good work!0
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I know how that is! I decided NOT to link mfp to fb because of people opinions! I get the same crap at work, I work in a kitchen at a school, and they laugh at me for not eating what they eat. I will have some fruit and veggies but I can't have what they have. So, I would do the same, don't let this get you down! You know what you need...take care!!! Melissa0
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The sad truth is...Misery loves company. They are jealous that you are taking steps and sacrifices to better your health. Instead of rising up to join you it's easier to try and tear you down. It's not that they don't care about you, it's just you make them feel bad about themselves.
I've been there hundreds of times with my friends and family, don't let them get to you.0 -
I get the - how long are you going to stick with it this time Wendi? from my FB friends...... I want to say F/U!!
Sadly most of my FB friends are real life family and friends!!!!! JERKS!!0 -
I dont share on Facebook! Its personal for me but I dont want everyone to my battles with weight! I have my support system on MFP!0
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I know exactly what you mean! I have not even tried posting any of my goals on my Facebook because I know I will get mixed replies from my friends. They don't mean any harm but sometimes I just want to do things for myself without worrying about other people's opinions. BUt at the same time it doesn't hurt to have some motivation and support, and I've found that here with MFP. We're all going through the same process and using the same tool to get us to our goal. Sometimes people on the outside looking in just won't understand the details that we get excited about such as having extra calories or going below our calorie goal.
But i'm glad you MFP just as much as me, and once you reach that goal all your fb friends will be like ooooh so it did work out for you the way, your way. lol
good luck0 -
I am so sorry to hear that they aren't really being supportive. That can be really frustrating to try to better yourself and have people not understand that you are just trying to get in to shape. I hope everything goes better. Good luck.0
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I don't put mine up on Facebook because it seems that many of my friends want me to just stay the same as I have always been and even though I am still a "big" girl they think I am too skinny0
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the same happens with mine! if i ever said anything about eating better or working out, they'd be like you dont need to do that you look fine! no motivation what so ever, but they don't realize i am also in it for the health. it seems a lil selfish of them, i just dont think they understand.0
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I feel the same way when I lost 10 pounds I posted about it, I was so happy about it. I got back some mean comments or nothing, I was hurt. I just quit sharing on facebook, I don't need the negative. I was never overweigh just carried around about 20 extra pounds after having kids, so people are always telling me that I have unreal goals of loosing that weigh. I'm not just trying to loose the weigh but get healthy. I agree with people on here being supportive so this is now where I post.0
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i have gotten the opposite reaction. i have people come into where i work to tell me that they hope i keep it up and that i look great. they just keep me positive0
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Other then my two gym buddies I can't talk to any of my friends about weight loss or health. Even my gym friends aren't interested about anything on the nutritional side. I have my mom and sister on my MFP and thats all the outside support I get. I wouldn't even bother putting it on facebook,I only have about 15 lbs to lose and a lot of my friends are overweight or obese and get angry when I mention anything about myself losing weight.0
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I personally feel that Facebook isn't the best forum for posting about weight loss efforts. MFP is a much better place to make those posts, and a much more supportive audience.0
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I DO NOT update on facebook...I would say most of those people are in a different place than me. And, typically, like you said, they think that I am okay the way I am, that I am going to wither away with that few calories, that I am wasting my time.
MFP is for support with the facebook-like features...Now, I have made some pretty good "friends" on here, and may even meet a couple of them some day. I also am pretty selective on my MFP friends. I don't just friend anyone, and if I un-friend someone, it is not generally a personal thing. I am not trying to offend anyone, I just have different goals and ideals. I look for supportive people who do the same activities as me. I also only "friend" females in my general age range...that's just me.0 -
I don't post to FB for that same reason, Others do not realize that my health and goals are not about them its about me. So Those who know me as a health nut or exercise freak don't deserve to share in my journey. I just keep it to MFP, this site is a blessing in more ways than one. Keep up the good work and know that there are many people on this site that are going through the same thing and support you in your efforts.0
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Par for the course, I suppose.
Most peoe just don't get it. Whether they don't want you to succeed, or are playing keyboard commando, I don't know. I get the same thing. I eat my meals at specific times, usually before and after lunch during the work week. So few people see me eat. They ask if i am starving myself. But when I do eat, they comment how nice it would be if they could eat all they want and not put weight on... not having a clue how much time and energy i put into myself. I find it best to just let it slide.
But; when boating weather gets here, I'll be the one with out a shirt on.0 -
I have 2 facebooks. 1 is for friends and family and the other 1 I created when I started my fitness journey and just added people who were fitness minded. I did get a lot of BB coaches but I have deleted them now as there post bother me.0
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i know if i start posting mfp stuff on face book, i'll get some randoms that i knew in high school saying, oh hun, you don't need to lose weight, but i don't think they realize that i've gained 10 pounds since we graduated and its a never ending spiral if i don't get it under control. I think once i get to my goal of loosing 40 pounds and there will be an obvious difference i might post a side by side picture of myself like people do here on mfp and so people can just congratulate me. i know there will be people who will want to see that or will get inspiration from it, so at that point i think its worth it to post on face book.
But for now, i don't think any of my face book friends will appreciate me posting every week that i've lost 2 pounds or whatever lol.0 -
I feel the same exact way you do! I just chalked it up to one of my favorite sayings "haters are gonna hate"0
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I agree. I have not put this on my FB yet and probably won't...at least untill I lose quite a bit. I have lots of friend who would be supportive but there are a lot of aquantises ( now you know my dirty little secret...i'm a horrible speller!) who just would not 'get' it. And lets face it we all have those 'friends' who would secretly like to see us fail. At least at this site we are ALL here to improve our fitness and health and with that is losing weight. So don't feel bad about not sharing this part of your life with your FB family!
Keep up the good work! And if I would have stopped and done something about my weight whe I gained that FIRST 10 lbs, I wouldn't need to lose 100 now!! So kudos to you for getting on top of it before it gets on top of you!!! Those young girls that are closest to me I always tell them "The best advice I can give you is to not let those 5 lbs turn into 10, keep on top of your health/weight, do what ever it takes to stay in your healthy range."
Best of luck to you!:bigsmile:0 -
I have it set up where FB only updates if I make a blog post. A blog post is something I throw out there for the public so I have no qualms about FB showing the blog. The rest of it I'd rather not announce to the rest of my social circle.
I have received some good feedback from my blog posts on FB. Of course, the people I'm really want to get the message probably aren't going to comment for their own reasons. I just want people to know that if they want some help, want to talk about weight loss/fitness issues that I'm open to it, and won't shy away from it.
You never know. You may find out that that someone you know actually shares your interest, and can begin new dialouge. I found out one of my freinds from college actually started a gym of his own, and teaches BootCamp and other classes.0 -
Most people that have not made an effort to analyze or really consider how many calories they are consuming or what they are eating would have a reaction to the 1600 calorie number. Even if you're the type that goes around reading nutritional labels often you might be thinking constantly that '2000' is the magic number for any living adult vs those people that really focus on finding out a lot of details about nutrition etc.
Also as you mention you want to lose 10 lbs- they might think you're being extreme. Or they might just not even care? People like to be entertained on FB by funny or unusual drama and make jokes and argue.
One of the reasons why MFP is so awesome is that we're all trying to do the same thing relatively speaking. So it's easier for the MFP crew you have on here to focus on that AND have fun (at least, for me, in my case, and my friends) and throw around caloric and GW encouragement.0 -
Wow.. I feel so bad for the people who don't have that support from friends or family!!!
I do post some of my information on FB From workouts to recipes.. etc etc..... (some even want me to make them a recipe book)
And so far no one ever said anything bad.....
I am very lucky that I have motivated some to make this change with me!! And I have Inspired them to workout as well... Thats crazy I never inspired anyone to make any change....
But they see how hard I work and Motivated I am!!!! I wish you all the best with journey!!0 -
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I feel the same exact way you do! I just chalked it up to one of my favorite sayings "haters are gonna hate"
I agree with this.
I too have friends that "question" why I worry about what I eat and show no support in my commitment to exercise. I think people are jealous and it makes THEM feel better to downgrade what we're doing.
Hells Bells-- even if we didn't need to lose weight, we need to maintain a healthy weight and exercise to not become feeble as we age.0 -
I don't want my RL friends and family (with the exception of my husband) knowing all of the details of my ups and downs and how many calories I'm taking in and if I work out or not. This is just the way I am, not an explanation of how anyone else should view their own journey.
Then again- I dislike FB and don't use it with the same intensity that others do. Even when I see people in my family IRL, I don't talk about this process at all. I'll just know I have all of the support I'll ever need when they see me in a miniskirt.0 -
Main reason I don't use Facebook is stuff like that. I'd rather go about my business without everyone knowing. Had a profile once, deleted it and never looked back.0
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I used to have my MFP linked to FB too and unlinked it! I got all kinds of weird comments too. :huh: I just chalked it up to the fact that I must be making some people feel lazy :laugh: ! Luckily I have a very supportive family and, of course, my MFP family that just rocks beyond words!! You just do what you need to do for yourself and keep up the good work! There are a lot more benefits to this than losing pounds. A person can be "skinny" and unhealthy. Kudos to you wanting to be healthy! :drinker:0
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