Why are some people just nasty???

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corsayre8
corsayre8 Posts: 551 Member
in Motivation and Support
So guess this post is half rant and half cry for support.

For the better part of the last two months, I have been using this site and working hard in the gym, the yoga room and out on the trails. While my efforts gave been successful, 21 pounds down, I gave been struggling with my body image. You know, that whole I can't see the difference, I want to loose from this part of my body. Usually I can rationalize with myself, and reach a point where I can accept that it is just going to take time.

Usually being the operative word. Today I nearly lost it with a co-worker. I was talking about how I had started running, and how good it made me feel. Her response, "yeah, it works too." Then went on to tell me that all my weight loss had been "here,"as she grabbed her chest. And "here," as she grabbed her rear.

And this is on top of her dismissive comment last week, that while I had list weight, "(I) had to work hard at it" while she had lost "six pounds just by eating better." The $@!? had the flu for a week and couldn't eat anyhow!

Now I know we are al supposed to be loosing for ourselves, and not for other people. But the whole thing just seemed really hateful. And while at first I just wanted to break her nose, it really left me feeling deflated.

Replies

  • Rdlm1001
    Rdlm1001 Posts: 47 Member
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    She sounds like a sad angry icky person. As my grandma always says, consider the source. Don't let some nasty b*tch deflate you. She is unhappy on her world and wants to bring others down to her level. Send her love and prayers (she needs them, believe me) and continue on your path. Be proud of what you have done and remember how good you feel!
  • loriefolk
    loriefolk Posts: 352
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    *hugs* I'm sorry some people are just ill-mannered :( I'm here to support you and I hope you know you have a lot of friends here!
  • naivenitara
    naivenitara Posts: 32
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    Don't listen to her! Haters are just jealous. Whenever someone else is bettering themselves, hateful people will give what I like to call "backhanded compliments" to make themselves feel better. It's just jealousy and that's what makes people nasty. With every rude comment you recieve, consider the source and know that you are gettting closer and closer to your personal goals and leaving people like that in the dust! Congrats on losing 21lbs! That is so awesome!! I've only lost five and if I worked with someone who'd lost that much weight, I'd be a little jealous too! Way to go! ;)
  • Marcellus_08
    Marcellus_08 Posts: 253
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    Man do I feel your pain!
    I have MANY days like that. Where ya just...wanna hit a ***** cause they brag. And your like....ya well, im trying so SUCK IT!
    Every pound is such a success. I bet you don't see the difference because you look at yourself EVERYDAY your co-workers see you everyday. Take a picture once a week or even month then compare wearing the SAME outfit. I bet your doing fantastic.

    I understand!! If you want, i can hit someone for you:)
    -Donna
  • goohan
    goohan Posts: 155
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    I wouldn't talk to people like her about it, shes not good for you and will bring you down. She doesn't deserve you, talk to us, we love you xx
  • us05
    us05 Posts: 54
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    Some people can be insensitive.... I would take it as a back handed compliment and move on.

    Im slow at loosing weight, I cant see a difference, but Hubby can. this is keeping me rolling, and the thought of fitting into size 12-14 clothes (im currently a 16-18) excites me too!

    You are doing really well.. I have only lost 8lbs in a month. I would of loved to to loose 21 pounds in two months!
  • shortylynn264
    shortylynn264 Posts: 13 Member
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    Thats when you have to say a prayer and count to 10. I know it,s hard but people like your co-worker is just one of those type of people that likes to dwell and point out the negative things, so if I were you I would try to ignore her and continue to be grateful of the success that I have accomplished. I to am like you, never seeing the results I want to see, but I just keep going because one day I know I will see the results that I want to see. Keep your head up and keep going sister, one day at a time.
  • kristinwalker
    kristinwalker Posts: 100 Member
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    Forget her! You have been doing great and what does she know? 21 lbs down in 2 months...that is great!!! I only lost 12 in 2 months. She lives in a world where she is the center. She is only focused on herself and doesn't even realize her effect on others. She is stuck on herself and was trying to be funny and get some sort of laughter and a response out of you. Don't let someone else who is stuck on themselves derail you. You are doing a wonderful job and who cares if you did lose it from your butt and boobs...great places to lose. Both getting smaller will make you healthier and look slimmer. Sounds to me like she has a "me focus." No matter how hard we try to reach for compliments, and gain support from "me" people we will never get anywhere. You know you are doing well. If not it would not have made you so upset she didn't see what you did. She was probably never taught to listen to others, be sensitive to others, or care for others and their emotions and well-being like you were. You are a much better person inside, and soon your outside will match! Keep working hard and keep your focus. You will reach your goal. It takes time and hard work. Steer clear of the "me" people and reach out to help others. Then you will see growth in yourself!
    Good luck!
  • HartJames
    HartJames Posts: 789 Member
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    JEALOUSY.
  • gp79
    gp79 Posts: 1,799 Member
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    She knew exactly what she was saying to you to make you feel insecure about your image.
  • corsayre8
    corsayre8 Posts: 551 Member
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    Wow, you are all so awesome! I really didn't expect that many responses so quickly. It definately made me smile and put me Ina much better head space for going to sleep.

    Thank you all and sweet dreams.
  • Sirenism
    Sirenism Posts: 100 Member
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    Some people truly have no class and don't understand how rude and hurtful they come across to others. Most of the time they think they are just being witty or humorous when in reality it's hurtful. Just ignore her or ask her to STFU before you round house kick her to the face.
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
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    Bottom line. MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!
  • janesmith1
    janesmith1 Posts: 1,511 Member
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    I actually think she's *not trying to be harmful*, she's just a *critical* type of person, KWIM? Yes it TOTALLY HURTS, she's probably a co-worker friend that you like and trust. Trust me, she doesn't even realize that what she said was being sh*tty, KWIM?

    I'm willing to bet she thought she was being HELPFUL....as absurd as it sounds.

    My unasked for advice is like what other people said on here:

    1. Don't EVER talk to her.....about weight loss....talk to US!

    2. Be friendly, but distant!

    3. We're actually your REAL SUPPORT NETWORK not real life people because people in REAL LIFE that you know, even FRIENDS ON FB - they do NOT understand, and WOMEN ESP are jealous creatures (we women all know this). So stick to talking to US, your real SUPPORT PEOPLE & not to the people in REAL LIFE - as hard as that sounds.

    For instance, and I posted about it, a "friend of mine" when she heard I wanted to get down the scale to 110 -115 she said "oh you'll look HORRIBLE, you should stick to being 150. Then I found out she weighs 140. See her logic? I must never be SKINNIER than her, because to her, I am a FAT LOOKING PERSON, I must never look better than her. I'm sure when I finally get down to goal weights she will tell me that I look TERRIBLE....again, this is a GOOD FRIEND.....

    I posted about it here, and you know, she is just really jealous. She was like "When I was 120, I looked awful!", right I said but you had an ongoing ILLNESS that put you down to that weight, how else are you supposed to look when you're ill? Uhhhhhh.....

    So right, pay no attention to your coworker, just exchange pleasantries. Oh and to show you what a d*mn fool I am, I posted to her today that I lost 12 lbs.......guess what? NO RESPONSE.....

    I have a long way to go to 140 (her weight), but I will get there, just like you will get to where you want to go. We have to stop trying to get people that are not TRULY SUPPORTIVE to LOVE US and APPROVE of US....because it's not going to happen.

    We love you here at MFP...21 pounds is AWESOME and I'm sure you look AMAZING!!!
  • Staceslim
    Staceslim Posts: 100 Member
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    you are amazing by being on here & she needs to learn the saying if I can't say anything nice to not say anything at all. Way to go, 21 lbs is great. I believe & agree with the post about taking pictures of yourself in the same outfit, that way you can see your success.
  • tross0924
    tross0924 Posts: 909 Member
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    My vote is to challenge her. She lost 6 lbs by hardly working? Lets see what happens when she tries. See who can loose 10% of thier weight first, and then sit back and laugh as she flounders, yo-yos, and gains her 6 lbs back and some while you continue to loose. Mwhahaha mwhahaha mwhahahahaha :-)
  • muth3rluvx2
    muth3rluvx2 Posts: 1,156 Member
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    She sounds jealous and insecure.

    Although everyone here is saying alot of negative things, *maybe* if you did the opposite and offered compliments to boost HER esteem, you might something in her to be valued. Sometimes people hide behind meanness or anger to cover up pain or fear. It's where the whole concept of bullies comes from.

    Mostly, just try not to let her negativity get to you. You know what you've done and what you're worth. If she doesn't want to recognize that, then she's missing out on knowing a great person with strong convictions.
  • hlmpyar
    hlmpyar Posts: 7
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    She's probably jealous, because she sees that you are feeling good about yourself and have goals. I believe it's like previously stated by others.... She's trying to bring you down to her level. Maybe because she has no self esteem and/or her self image is very bad and she's jealous of your confidence.

    Keep going with your goals. I'm sure you'll do great!
  • kbloodworth
    kbloodworth Posts: 107 Member
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    I'm not sure where these people come from...but with that type of attitude it is unlikely that she has endeared herself to many people. I am so glad most of my friends and co-workers are men. They typically tell me when I look good, and know to shut their traps when I don't.

    If she actually has a heart, and she is someone you consider a friend, I would be direct and tell her that her comments are inappropriate and not appreciated, and then explain to her how you expect a friend to behave. Then she can decide if she is capable of acting like a friend.

    If, on the other hand, she is just an irritating co-worker, a one-upper, or a frenemy... I would avoid having any unnecessary interactions with her and take solace in the fact that she will probably gain those 6 lbs back next week when the flu symptoms wear off, but she still won't have gained any class.
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
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    never ever allow another person's ideas determine your self worth.


    ever.

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