Bad Days

fontaine3b · February 2011

How does everyone deal with a bad day? Mine seem to come more often than I would like. Yesterday was my middle son's 15th birthday and I am taking a nose-dive, we lost their Dad 4 years ago this March and I am still reeling from his death, I started MFP about 3 weeks ago as I joined a 90 challenge with my girlfriends. I don't know if its because I got my "visitor" for the 1st time since starting, or what, but my God some days I feel like I am making such progress, I have lost 4 lbs but have 46 to go and some days feel like there is no end in sight!!!

I have most definitely, or so I thought, noticed a change in my appearance, but today I decided to bite the bullet and take my measurements, and oh boy!!! not what I thought they would be!!!

I don't feel like eating (at the moment) but just wondered how everyone deals with the daily stress of taking care of yourself and in my case, 3 boys on my own. Everything that is going on the world is enough to make me want to hid under the covers and wish the world away, top on dealing with boys who are growing up without their Dad, me without a 2nd adult for support and the ever-looming scale!!!

Anyhow, I wish all on MFP the most sucess on their journey, and thanks for listening!!!

USCErin · February 2011

Give yourself some credit! Look at all you are doing! You're taking care of 3 boys on your own, you have taken charge of your fitness and weight! Lean on those girlfriends too. I have an exercise buddy girlfriend and I must say going to the gym is something I almost look forward to because I know we can talk (between huffing and puffing) on the bike or elliptical.

Speaking from experience, it also sounds like there is some 'situational' depression going on here. Nothing to be embarrassed about, so see your doctor for a little extra help. Also, if you can make time for cardio, any type of cardio (up/down stairs, short walk at lunch, etc.) it acts as a natural antidepressant.

If your insurance covers it regular visits to a therapist will help you learn how to cope better.

Take it from one who has been around the block on medication and exercise benefits, ask for help if you need it.

lisabennsky · February 2011

My only suggestion (and I try to practice the same) is to forgive yourself and know that every second you can be washed anew; a chance to make a better decision. (But be careful of being too forgiving sometimes... an entire box of oreos laid claim to my easy forgiveness once!).

I, too, understand the pain of loss, though nothing like a spouse. My husband's father was killed during a work accident right before we were married last year, we lost his mother to cancer, and my father 3 years before that. It's hard not to feel like the world is exploding around you, but you can't solve the big picture - of this I have to remind myself everytime I get overwhelmed. ONE STEP AT A TIME and once that instance is gone there's a new one to tackle and a new one to cleanse. You can do it! :flowerforyou:

megpiemac12 · February 2011

Everyone has bad days. The key is to start fresh the next day. It is not easy...it's definitly a journey. The cool thing is...if you have a bad day, you can log on the next day and get a fresh start. Keep the faith. We all stumble, there are so many daily struggles in life, you just have to pick yourself up and keep on keeping on!

fontaine3b · February 2011

Thanks everyone!!! Just one of those days I guess, nice to have some "new" people to talk to!!!

Leannek74 · February 2011

Wow, you've got a lot on your plate!!!!
Stick with the MFP, it really does work and there is nothing wrong with 1-2 pounds per week... that adds up!!
And I've begun looking at the monthly visitor gladly if only for the slight drop on the scale after!!!

Xandi · February 2011

Big Deep Breaths!
Relax, Life happens... you just pick yourself up and move on!!!
Sometimes breaking down is good for you!

Better than bottling it up!
Good Luck

Carissa83 · February 2011

You know what you just keep doing what you've been doing! All of us have bad days. I have at least one a week. It's so amazing that you are working on taking care of yourself - most wouldn't. You fall, you get back up. Sometimes its three steps forward, two back. This site will give you great support. And, Dang! What an accomplishment, working on raising three boys to be good men! I bet you are really loved (even if they don't always show it!) NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP! - Winston Churchill

sauza · February 2011

depending on your body type, a tape measure may not be of any more help to you than a set of scales. The scales are no good because you can actually be shrinking (muscle weighing more than fat taking up less space) but you could see a gain & get discouraged. I've got the weirdo body type where - well I actually just dropped two pant sizes with no change in weight or measurements - that is the absolute truth. My fat shifted around so much in my mid section that I could wear smaller pants but my waist & hip measurements were the same. My "belly" and "love handles" were what shrunk. So if you are feeling better and able to do more each day, well.... there you go! It is the ability to move and accomplish things that you are building & that is obviously happening.

pinkgigi · February 2011

I know where you are coming from as I am a widow also, raising a daughter and a son who went through secondary cancer last year. I was close to my goal weight and went back to old habits when he was having treatment and put on 1/2 the weight I had lost.

I hope you are getting help with going through the grief process, I am still having therapy and finally gave in and started on anti-depressants last year. I can say that the first step for me to get my life back was action, I didn't wait until I felt I was in the right place, but just acted like someone who has their life together. Meeting a friend at the gym was the first step, and then other positive, healthy attitudes followed.

Be kind to yourself and acknowledge the wonderful job you are doing. Nurture yourself when you are low (in healthy ways) and reach out for help when you need to.

GG

Bad Days

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