Anybody feeling threatened by your new healthy lifestyle?

brittanymonster
brittanymonster Posts: 58
edited September 24 in Motivation and Support
Hey all, I'm wondering if anyone else is experiencing something similar to this...

I've been doing great so far and have lost about 6.5 lbs. It really shows around my middle and I'm super proud of it.
I told this to my boyfriend's stepmom, and also told her my goal weight of 125 lbs (I'm a little over 5'3"). She was very concerned and told me that I should not have this goal, that would be WAY to skinny, etc. She has been struggling with weight loss for some time, and while she is very active, she has no self control. She also seems upset when we come over for dinner and I have a small portion of dessert or none.
ALSO, my boyfriend's stepsister has behaved similarly. When I mention my weight loss, she goes "Oh...that's great..." and quickly changes the subject. She too has a small amount of weight that she could lose. It wasn't long ago that I was her size, now I look so much better and she's still the same, despite claims that she has been trying her best (which seems pretty untrue, she will open the fridge after dinner and eat leftover pizza AFTER eating dinner, and she will press her sisters hard to EAT THEIR DESERT, OH COME ON WHY WON'T YOU EAT IT?")

I guess I feel like other ladies who are in my situation are having a hard time being happy for me. I can understand why, it's just kind of disheartening. Is anyone else experiencing something like this? I'd love to know I'm not alone in this.

(PS: Another one of my boyfriend's sisters has been VERY supportive; she says I look amazing, I must feel so much better and have so much energy, etc. So the whole family isn't having problems with my progress. :D )

Replies

  • idahogirl71
    idahogirl71 Posts: 1,110 Member
    I deal with the exact thing with my mother. She says I am setting myself up for failure because I won't eat things that I used too and according to her I am depriving myself and will just gorge on them later. This is kind of funny considering I am not depriving myself, I am making healthy choices now. Now I eat under 1200 calories daily and exercise rather than being sedentary and consuming like 3000 calories daily. She also says that I am losing it too fast because I lost 26 pounds in 5 1/2 weeks. I did not starve myself to do this, I did not take pills to do this. I eliminated approximately 2000 calories or more a day and exercised to do this.

    Keep doing what you are doing and accept the compliments and support from those who give them and remember that those who are not supportive or who judge are dealing with issues themselves that they either are afraid to face or are choosing not to because they don't want to make the change in their own life.

    Best of luck to you in your journey.
  • Trishkit
    Trishkit Posts: 290 Member
    I totally feel you on this! My in-laws are pretty much that way. They have no concept of what it takes to lose weight and no idea what kind of mindset you need to be in. They've never succeeded, so they assume I will fail as well. Not going to happen!

    My sister-in-law has recently been remarking about how she's been losing weight here and there, and "Imagine what I could do if I tried!" I keep wanting to say, "Well, maybe you SHOULD try, instead of sitting around all the time, expecting the weight to just fall off." Naturally, I keep that to myself.

    My mother-in-law is also always like, "Oh, you probably can't eat this because you're on a diet." And I always have to remind her that I can really eat whatever I want, but yes, I will probably choose not to eat that. It helps that I'm vegan now, so I pretty much can't eat anything at her house, anyway. That gives me an easy out. :-)

    Good luck to you, and don't forget that there are a ton of ladies here on MFP who totally support you, even when those close to you don't! *hugs*
  • happy_vegan
    happy_vegan Posts: 200 Member
    Today I grabbed some peanuts from the snack bar at school and joked about the sodium intake with a friend and she accused me of being on some 'weird diet' where you can only eat peanuts on thursdays and bags of cauliflower on tuesdays and soup on wednesdays (i eat all these foods, and it's in a public setting because i'm always at school and we have a kitchen).

    yes i've changed but i felt kind of weird having to deny that yes i limit my food intake and i didnt want to say i have been trying to lose weight because it makes me feel like a fatty, to be frank (even if i am :D )

    btw, i don't think its a jealousy thing, she herself is very skinny. but i dont know why it should be weird that i've been opting for lower calorie HEALTHY alternatives..... :(
    anyway i took it in stride and laughed it off and so did she. i think that's all we can really do.
  • ashleyjea1985
    ashleyjea1985 Posts: 190
    haha im 5'3.. im currently 125 noone tells me im TOO thin. my goal is 115.

    125 is a HEALTHY weight for 5'3.

    unfortunetly some people are jealous and will try to bring you down. ignore them
  • atomdraco
    atomdraco Posts: 1,083 Member
    FYI, 125 for 5'3 is not unrealistic goal. I am same height, goal 108, or 110, doesn't matter, as long as I can get 18% or less body fat.
  • dr1981
    dr1981 Posts: 76 Member
    It is a challenge! Everyone is always asking me if I'm still on a diet..etc..and when I tell them I have another 20lbs or so to go they act so surprised and tell me that I look great and that I'll be too skinny by then. It is disappointing to hear that but I already know that I will never hear the truth from anyone. They are either too scared to hurt my feelings or actually do believe I'm not over weight. But I do know I'm still over weight and I have more weight to lose despite losing 60lbs so far. I just think about the time when I was at 265lbs and people would tell me how I don't look that big, or that I carry my weight well or that I'm really not all that bad *rolls eyes*... riiiiiiiight!
  • LovelySnugs
    LovelySnugs Posts: 389
    wow. just. . .wow. actually, i kinda feel like my in-laws might try this stuff, too, if i ever saw them - and if they weren't too self-absorbed to notice my weight loss. but they're all overweight, and none of them has the sense or the willpower to correct the problem. people like us just gotta learn to stay strong, all on our own.

    i, personally, have gotten only love and support and adoring encouragement with regards to my diet. but that may be because half the people who know about it are either right here on MFP or are biologically inclined to love, support, and encourage me under any circumstances.

    lol i'll let you know how the rest goes next month when i get a chance to see the fam!
  • brittanymonster
    brittanymonster Posts: 58
    Thanks for the encouragement guys, you're all wonderful! :D
  • LadyPersia
    LadyPersia Posts: 1,445 Member
    bump
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