Popped my bubble :(

SiltyPigeon
SiltyPigeon Posts: 920 Member
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
I woke up this morning feeling just GREAT! Over the past 5 weeks I have lost 20 pounds. TWENTY POUNDS!!!! I now weigh 147 which is the least amount t I have weighed in years! I was so happy. I looked in the mirror and thought to myself "You are looking really good! Good job, Me!" I mean goodness, it was just 5 weeks ago I weighed 167! So I decided to celebrate in my own little way. I took my daughters out to eat and then to get haircuts.

It was while at Cost Cutters that my bubble popped. :( One of the girls working there is an old school friend of mine I haven't seen in years and years. She and I were the best of friends for a long time... back when we were both the thinest girls in school. She's still thin. And tall. She must be 5' 8'' and 110 lbs. So looks SO GREAT! And she didn't even recognize me; or if she did, she didn't acknowledge me at all.

I wanted to go crawl under a rock. It's too bad I didn't because I was so depressed the rest of the day that I totally blew my diet. That was stupid, as if eating was going to make me feel better about not looking anywhere near as good as this other girl!!!

Just hours before I had felt so good about having lost that 20 pounds.

I know this was a horribly stupid way to react. How do you all react when seeing old friends who obviously don't have the same weight issues as we do?

Replies

  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
    Well, I don't compare myself any more to people...especially old friends. Yes, I get embarrassed, or DID before my 21 pound loss.

    Also, you just have to keep on keepin on...and then you'll look the way you want to. :smile:
  • strandedeyes
    strandedeyes Posts: 392 Member
    Just remind yourself of your accomplishments and also the fabulous life you are living.

    She may still be thin, but that doesn't meant her life is better than yours or more fabulous.

    There will always be someone thinner or someone fatter...but you just have to accept you and remind yourself that you are fabulous and are accomplishing a lot of tough goals. Losing weight isn't easy and you are doing amazing.
  • randi50
    randi50 Posts: 112
    I am sorry that bothered you so much. I have always been overweight, but not this much, but I still don't want people to see me that I went to school with. It is silly that we can't get past the stereotypes etc from school days. You have done AWESOME!!!! You don't know what her life is like, maybe she has a horrible homelife etc. You are taking charge and being healthy now and that is what matters!! So reinflate that bubble and tomorrow is a new day, start again!
  • sheshe32
    sheshe32 Posts: 195 Member
    If you feel like comparing, just compare yourself to yourself. Not others. I totally agree with the others on here. I know it can be hard, but keep at it, You are doing so amazingly. I WISH I WAS!
  • katbass
    katbass Posts: 351 Member
    Ugh, I can totallllly relate! Try to find some positive spin to put on the situation....aside from the fact tha tyou lost TWENTY pounds recently, maybe you have a happier life than she does. Maybe you have kids and she has always wanted kids. Maybe youre in a happy marriage and she is miserable. Try not to compare, but at the same time, realize that that girl might have that 5'8", 100 lbs body...but that might be the ONLY thing she has. Take note of the awesome things in your life, pat yourself on the back for the hard work and determination you have proven to yourself, and know that tomorrow is a new day. Get back on the wagon RIGHT NOW. Dont wait til the morning. Dont waste one more minute worrying about what youve already eaten. Focus on moving forward towards TWENTY-ONE pounds gone :)
    Good luck and keep reading the first paragraph you wrote over and over and over....you should be SOOO proud of yourself!!!
  • EvilMomma
    EvilMomma Posts: 70 Member
    You aren't losing weight for others, you are losing for yourself. Be proud of your accomplishment, enjoy your life. If you keep living it for others (who are too consumed by their own to pay any attention, anyway) you will never get the atta-girl you want. I just re-read why I'm doing this--its certainly not to make anyone else happy! Maybe you need to revisit why you are working so hard to lose weight--I'll bet old high school girlfriends aren't on the list.
  • kittytrix
    kittytrix Posts: 557 Member
    You aren't losing weight for others, you are losing for yourself. Be proud of your accomplishment, enjoy your life. If you keep living it for others (who are too consumed by their own to pay any attention, anyway) you will never get the atta-girl you want. I just re-read why I'm doing this--its certainly not to make anyone else happy! Maybe you need to revisit why you are working so hard to lose weight--I'll bet old high school girlfriends aren't on the list.

    Here, here! I agree. At first, when I first started to lose weight I kept looking to others to validate my good feelings and when they didn't say, "Hey, are you losing weight?" or "Wow you're looking good," I felt like I had somehow failed. But now I am becoming happier with myself. You have to allow those good feelings to come from within because when you go home you don't face old friends, you face yourself.

    You have done a great job and don't you forget it.
  • anniebnannie
    anniebnannie Posts: 85 Member
    Wow! Thank you for your honesty!!! It's really hard when we start to compare ourselves to how we looked years ago or even a week ago.... I woke up this morning thinking as I walked past the mirror that I was starting to see some changes (I've lost 10lbs in 7 weeks). I was so excited I got on the scale and found I had actually gained a few of those pounds BACK!! Then I got totally depressed. Noticed that while I didn't go over my calorie goal - I did keep grabbing the sweet tasting foods :-(

    Thank goodness tomorrow is a new day!
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
    OK I'm gonna let u in on a secret!! 110 LB's only looks cute on some one that is 5 feet tall!! That is waaayyyy too skinny!! Don't feel bad about that at all. Not a single guy I know finds that attractive. At least at 147 LBs u can fill the top of a dress and have flattering curves! Ur making choices for a healthier body! Don't let that get u down, EVER!! Keep it pushin'!!
  • Rurouni_Kou
    Rurouni_Kou Posts: 180 Member
    I don't mean to be mean or anything but I'm a little bit concerned for you. You mentioned 20 lbs in 5 weeks (a little under 4.25 lbs a week ) and it seemed like a lot so I looked at your diary. You seem to be eating FAR less than you should be- you range about 600 calories a day. That kind of fast weight loss is due to starvation is unhealthy and it makes me worried for you.

    Don't judge yourself by others. Just because someone is thin doesn't mean they are healthy. I'm 5' 3" and my healthy range is between 112 (at the VERY lowest) and 140- Ideally 125-130 range is about right. The old friend you mentioned is a good 5" taller than I am, her range should be higher than mine, but shes lower than mine by an unhealthy amount- so much so that I'd be concerned about eating disorders. I'm worried that your expectations are unhealthy for you and going to do you more harm than good- don't give yourself an eating disorder just to appear rail thin. I promise you, that kind of "skinny" is unhealthy and isn't attractive in the least. Please take care of yourself.
  • Levedi
    Levedi Posts: 290 Member
    Remember why you're doing this, honey. You're not losing weight to compete with other women - you're doing this to be healthy, to live a fuller life with your kids, to be able to do the things you've always wanted to do. The other thing is that you don't know why she didn't acknowledge you. I once completely dissed a woman I worked with. I stared right through her as she walked past me and didn't even smile. Days later she told me how hurt she was and asked why I had treated her so badly. My reason? I was having a migraine aura and could barely move, let alone talk. In other words, from her perspective it looked like a deliberate put down. But I genuinely didn't mean to hurt her. Your old friend might have been having a terrible day. She might have had a ton on her mind and just not reacted to your presence in time. Don't take it to heart too much. Finally, remember that what you have is good too. You can either spend time being miserable for what you don't have, or be happy because of the good things you do have. You have 2 beautiful kids. You have the stamina and guts to lose 20 lbs. Personally, I'd rather have children than weigh 110 lbs. Don't let one moment in one day steal your joy.
  • bellamia88
    bellamia88 Posts: 149 Member
    Ugh! I know just how you feel a few months ago I was doing this bootcamp class and an ex bestfriend of mine just happened to be there. We used to be very close in jr high and even when I moved to high school (she was a year younger) we still kept contact. I've always been a bigger girl and she was a little chubby as well, well I see her for the first time in about a year here she is with the body of Jennifer Aniston while i'm still looking like i've ate nothing but chocolate bars for a month and I had lost 30 pounds over the last two years. Does she acknowlege me? NOPE not even a smile or anything but instead I get the side eye.

    Anyways what I want to say is those people aren't worth it, maybe her life is sucking so much right now who knows. I agree with the other users that said you should only lose weight for yourself, I mean after all who are you trying to impress? Yourself or a now snobby ex bestfriend. At the end of the day you are responsible for your own happiness and you don't need toxic people that will bring you down. Keep your head high, focus on your beautiful family and good luck :) You have our support.
  • habibti
    habibti Posts: 56 Member
    I completely agree with what's already been said. Also, you made a really big assumption about the situation and let that bum you out in a major way. You don't know that your old friend didn't recognize you because you are heavier than you were when you were younger. Maybe she was having a hectic day, zoned out, just seeing people (more customers) but not *really * looking at people. I know in service industry/customer contact jobs I would sometimes just go on auto-pilot. Maybe she's wondering why you didn't seem to recognize her or say hi. Maybe she's wondering if she did or said something that offended you in the past since she feels like you ignored her. Maybe she's just really bad with recognizing faces.There could be any number of explanations for what happened. Try not to get so down on yourself! Keep yer chin up!!
  • EricInArlington
    EricInArlington Posts: 531 Member
    You aren't losing weight for others, you are losing for yourself. Be proud of your accomplishment, enjoy your life. If you keep living it for others (who are too consumed by their own to pay any attention, anyway) you will never get the atta-girl you want. I just re-read why I'm doing this--its certainly not to make anyone else happy! Maybe you need to revisit why you are working so hard to lose weight--I'll bet old high school girlfriends aren't on the list.


    you beat me to it...lol You did join MFP for her I bet it was for you, 20 Lbs is good keep it up don't beat yourself up, tomorrow is another day get back on track and kick yourself a goal!
  • SiltyPigeon
    SiltyPigeon Posts: 920 Member
    Thank you, Everyone, for your support! I feel so much better now. I don't know why I let it get to me so much. Today is a new day and I WILL get back on track... no, I AM back on track. :)) I am doing this for ME and MY FAMILY not for people who are no longer a part of my life.

    THANKS AGAIN!
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