y kids dont listed

nuttyrubs
nuttyrubs Posts: 95
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
my 3 year old daughter has started back answering for everything. if i tell her not to do a particular thing she says:"you also stop doing this and that". i never scolded her but tried to council her but she seems to be taking advantage..now if i scold her she starts scolding back..dont know how to handle

Replies

  • nuttyrubs
    nuttyrubs Posts: 95
    my 3 year old daughter has started back answering for everything. if i tell her not to do a particular thing she says:"you also stop doing this and that". i never scolded her but tried to council her but she seems to be taking advantage..now if i scold her she starts scolding back..dont know how to handle
  • nuttyrubs
    nuttyrubs Posts: 95
    y kids dont listen...sorry for the typo
  • Anna_Banana
    Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
    I'm a mean mom. She's old enough to not talk back. I would tell her it's wrong and not to do it any more. And explain to her you're the grown up, and it is wrong for kids to talk back to grown up. It drives me nuts when kids talk back to adults.
  • Clover51
    Clover51 Posts: 37
    The more attention you give it the worse it will get. I think it is a phase all kids go through to see how much you will let them get away with. The problem with letting it go in the beginning is that now she thinks it is ok. If it is to the point it is being disrespectful I would give her a warning and if she contiunes put her in time-out. After time-out make sure she understands why she was put there.
    I am no expert but that is what I would do. Good Luck!
    Stacy
  • jackeh
    jackeh Posts: 1,515 Member
    When my kids were younger i would sit themin the corner when they talked back to me... and wher they were ready to talk nicely they could come out.... worked for me !!! you just have to make sure you are consistent because if you give in then they will do it FOREVER!!!



    and apparently i spell like a 3 year old!!! sorry for the typos lol
  • newlywedbeth
    newlywedbeth Posts: 15
    Hi! As a veteran teacher, I have "raised" many children, although none of our own yet. I hope my advice can help you. It is very important that she knows who is the authority and that your desires for her are for her good. She may not understand all the whys and wherefores, but she should know that she should do exactly what you ask of her. It sounds like you try to reason with her, which is good, but make sure you don't do it as an equal. She must realize she is the daughter and you are the mother. Set up your expectations first. Make them clear, concise, and manageable. Let her know the consequences ahead of time. Make them hurt a little, and most importantly make them consistent. Follow up after the consequence with a hug and a refresher of the expectations. You are a great mom already. Keep up the good work.
  • Families_R_Forever
    Families_R_Forever Posts: 630
    You took the words out of my mouth. I was so good with my first two, but got kinda lax with my two youngest. CONSISTENCY IS EVERYTHING!!! Now my two older ones notice what the younger one get away with. I have been really getting back to the basics and trying to crack down on them. KIDS ARE WAY SMARTER THAN WE THINK. And they definently need rules and boundaries, or else we are not doing them any favors. Good luck and I feel your pain. Being a parent is the toughest job ever, but the most important as well.:flowerforyou:
    When my kids were younger i would sit themin the corner when they talked back to me... and wher they were ready to talk nicely they could come out.... worked for me !!! you just have to make sure you are consistent because if you give in then they will do it FOREVER!!!
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    My 3 year old talks back all the time.
    She is 3 going on 13...
    I get stern with her, I (lightly) pop her on the mouth, I put her in time out.
    The attitude is subsiding a little, but not much.
    I think she will always be this way -- stubborn, head strong, smart mouthed.


    GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OWN, NUTTY!
  • Fab140
    Fab140 Posts: 1,976 Member
    When my kids were younger i would sit themin the corner when they talked back to me... and wher they were ready to talk nicely they could come out.... worked for me !!! you just have to make sure you are consistent because if you give in then they will do it FOREVER!!!



    and apparently i spell like a 3 year old!!! sorry for the typos lol

    Any time I talked back to an adult, I got the belt. Pure and simple.

    I don't suggest this, because number one it can get out of hand real quick and number two it doesn't teach them.

    Whatever method you take, as stated above, consistency is the key.:flowerforyou:
  • latinmermaid
    latinmermaid Posts: 17
    Boy this topic made me feel better. And here I thought I was the only one that had a 3yr old with attitude (lol):laugh: Reading everyone's replys has given me some more insight on how to handle it. because let me tell you...sometimes I feel like banging my head against the wall:sad: My son loves to talk back and as soon as I tell him he is going on time out or as soon as he sees the look on my face he immediately says "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". It is so hard not to melt when he does that but I try to tell him thank you for saying sorry but explaining that he still has to go on his time out. Sometime its frustrating because even though I explain things to him it seems like he does not understand or just doesn't want to hear it. Oh well:ohwell: I'll just keep plugging away at it as best as I can.
    48687.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Online Calorie Counter
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    Boy this topic made me feel better. And here I thought I was the only one that had a 3yr old with attitude (lol):laugh: Reading everyone's replys has given me some more insight on how to handle it. because let me tell you...sometimes I feel like banging my head against the wall:sad: My son loves to talk back and as soon as I tell him he is going on time out or as soon as he sees the look on my face he immediately says "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". It is so hard not to melt when he does that but I try to tell him thank you for saying sorry but explaining that he still has to go on his time out. Sometime its frustrating because even though I explain things to him it seems like he does not understand or just doesn't want to hear it. Oh well:ohwell: I'll just keep plugging away at it as best as I can.

    Nope. Stick to your guns, Mom.
    Of course they are sorry when it's time for punishment.
    I tell my daughter, "I know you are sorry, but you CANNOT talk back anymore" as I put her in time out.
    Half the time, I don't even tell her she is going to time out. I scoop her up and place her in her time out chair and she starts wailing!!:sad: "I'M SORRY MOMMY!"
    A general rule too: one minute of time out for each year old the kid is.
    I can't follow that one though. One minute is hard for me. We set the kitchen timer. She can get up when she hears the timer go off.
  • Jules4506
    Jules4506 Posts: 29
    My husband and I send them to their room when they talk back or put them in time-out. We tell them that when they are ready to behave appropriately then they are allowed to come back downstairs. Dont' forget to go over what is appropriate behavior and what is inappropriate behavior!!
  • msarro
    msarro Posts: 2,748 Member
    I don't advocate this - when I spoke back to my mom I usually got smacked. If I said something really bad, I got a backhand. If I did something that injured another person, I got the crap kicked out of me.

    I'm a productive member of society, a pacifist, and completely respectful of other people. Looking around me at some of my peers, I'm wondering if the old phrase, "spare the rod, spoil the child" may actually be pretty close to the truth.
  • Fab140
    Fab140 Posts: 1,976 Member
    I don't advocate this - when I spoke back to my mom I usually got smacked. If I said something really bad, I got a backhand. If I did something that injured another person, I got the crap kicked out of me.

    I'm a productive member of society, a pacifist, and completely respectful of other people. Looking around me at some of my peers, I'm wondering if the old phrase, "spare the rod, spoil the child" may actually be pretty close to the truth.

    I basically had the same treatment. It keeps me from hurting other people's property (after having the hell beaten out of me for throwing a rock through a car window). It makes me more mindful of my words and saying "no" too often (spaghetti dumped on your head for refusing to eat is a great way to make a mess btw).

    BUT my knee jerk reaction is to smack now. I am trying very hard to keep my hands to myself, but being raised where hands flew when tempers flaired, it's ingrained.
  • Poison5119
    Poison5119 Posts: 1,460 Member
    It's been my experience that back talk comes when you turn a disciplinarian action into a round-table discussion. Talking to kids does not work well, especially that young. By 'talking' to them, you are giving them the impression that it's an open ended discussion, which to them means NEGOTIATION, which interprets to mean 'I may get my way if I keep the conversation going'. So you inadvertently are keeping a bargaining session open by replying every time. Silence is sometimes the only way to finalize anything with kids.

    When my kids opposed me verbally after I issued the discipline, I ignored it.
  • Fab140
    Fab140 Posts: 1,976 Member
    It's been my experience that back talk comes when you turn a disciplinarian action into a round-table discussion. Talking to kids does not work well, especially that young. By 'talking' to them, you are giving them the impression that it's an open ended discussion, which to them means NEGOTIATION, which interprets to mean 'I may get my way if I keep the conversation going'. So you inadvertently are keeping a bargaining session open by replying every time. Silence is sometimes the only way to finalize anything with kids.

    When my kids opposed me verbally after I issued the discipline, I ignored it.

    Much better than whacking your child. :flowerforyou:
  • Poison5119
    Poison5119 Posts: 1,460 Member
    Also, where corporal punishment is concerned, I am convinced of the adage 'spare the rod, spoil the child...'

    I had my kids and divorced my abusive husband 15 years ago, and raised them with almost no help, and I issued a whack on the behind from time to time, when things were out of control. When you don't have help, sometimes that may be the only option. But I also believe in the fact that adults have myriad ways of making up all kinds of torturous punishments that don't involve using ones hands or even cruelty - one only has to use ones imagination first before resorting to corporal. My mom had us kneel in a corner.

    Does corporal punishment work? I don't know, you tell me. I can tell you it works. My sons are now 17 and 19, and they DON'T DO DRUGS OR DRINK and aren't interested in that lifestyle, aren't in gangs, are not criminally inclined, the oldest is graduated, has a job and a girlfriend, the younger of the two is very popular, has a girlfriend, is a cartoon artist and plays bass guitar. They both have their welding certification. Their only downfall is they do swear when in the presence of their friends, and neither did more than average in high school.

    I'd say it works.
  • sindyb9
    sindyb9 Posts: 1,248 Member
    Consistency is the key. I never have to hit take what they want the most away or have a time out spot. But make sure you do it everytime. Worked everytime with my son who is now 17 and still listens. :flowerforyou:
  • nuttyrubs
    nuttyrubs Posts: 95
    :Boy this topic made me feel better. And here I thought I was the only one that had a 3yr old with attitude (lol) Reading everyone's replys has given me some more insight on how to handle it. because let me tell you...sometimes I feel like banging my head against the wall My son loves to talk back and as soon as I tell him he is going on time out or as soon as he sees the look on my face he immediately says "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". It is so hard not to melt when he does that but I try to tell him thank you for saying sorry but explaining that he still has to go on his time out. Sometime its frustrating because even though I explain things to him it seems like he does not understand or just doesn't want to hear it. Oh well I'll just keep plugging away at it as best :

    exactly how i fel ..banging the head against the wall. i once told her you will get a slap now..and she answered..do it mom..i want to c how it hurts..but thanks everybody..it at least made me feel i am not alone in this
  • Katy009
    Katy009 Posts: 579 Member
    Kids will always test their parents and see just how far they can get. I am not a believer in physical punishment of any kind.....I have always just gotten down to her level and explained why and/or why not something is good and/or bad, and luckily that has worked for me. I know all kids are different, but I believe in remaining calm and explaining things as best as you can. Even if they don't always listen.

    My daughter is now almost 7. She continually goes through stages of 'testing', but I have never had major behavior problems of any kind. What is most important is that you remain consistent in how you handle it.

    I did try one time to use the 'naughty chair' and the next day she said to me....mom, can we play the game where I do something bad and you make me sit in the chair? Needless to say, that really didn't work out for me :tongue:
This discussion has been closed.

Categories