Black and White thinking :(

Skinny100
Skinny100 Posts: 77
edited September 24 in Health and Weight Loss
Does anyone have advice for "black and white" thinking? Either I'm on a very good diet - super clean and healthy, or I am on an "all you can eat" diet. I have gained almost 20 lbs in the last 4 years. I used to be in very good shape since I was very disciplined with my diet, but ever since I got married, I can't seem to stick to a moderate diet. I seem to just give up as soon as I venture outside of what I consider to be my healthy diet. I think I used to be overly strict on myself in the past, and now it seems like my body just wants to take advantage of all the food that's in front of it. I need some tough love!! My husband is very kind and loving, but I know my body isn't the same anymore and I'm starting to lack confidence (on top of being unhealthy). How can I find some balance? It feels like my willpower is so weak.
Any advice?

Replies

  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
    For me it has a lot to do with finding the balance between motivating yourself and letting yourself slide. I try to think a bit more logically when I'm wondering about these things. If you make a mistake it does not doom you for eternity by god! No need to let yourself fall into a downward spiral that reinforces itself with guilt, recrimination, poor eating. Try focusing on better things like goals other than weight that you want to experience and envision them when you are tempted to allow yourself to essentially wallow in self hatred for not being a woman with 100% perfection 247.
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
    I'm a very all-or-nothing kind of person. I had to step back and re-evaluate how I did it. I started REALLY slow, one step at a time. I started with more water and less food on my plate. Then I started caring about what I put on my plate. Then I added a walk around the block. Finally, I have started adding circuit training. This has taken me a month and a half.
  • halphord
    halphord Posts: 379 Member
    and worry more about moderation than only eating clean and healthy. don't force yourself into being deprived of other things. maybe give yourself a once a week day where you can go eat out...but, only order a half order or something like that...focus on being healthier and not so much the "diet"
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
    I am the same way in a manner of speaking and have yo yo'd bec of it. It took me a few years to realize I am an all or nothing type of person. If I give myself a cheat day I will have trouble going back to structure. I keep my self very structured and I am happy with that. I know my boundries. This will not work for everyone. Some people can have 5 M&M'S and be happy, me I will eat the whole bag , get disgusted that I did so then I will have another one and say what the he** I have already screwed up. You have to find what works for you and when you do you will power will kick in.
  • Brannyrocks
    Brannyrocks Posts: 11
    In the past I've tended to do the same thing. This time around, I am taking things one day at a time, so if I have a bad day, I just start fresh the next day and try not to make the same bad choices. I also plan when I am going to have some that is "bad" and limit myself to a pre-determined amount. It may sound silly, but just telling myself that its okay to slide once in while, makes it easier, to get back on track.
  • CricketKate
    CricketKate Posts: 3,657 Member
    I tend to think very all or nothing as well. Take it one day at a time. If you feel like you've slipped up, pick yourself up and start again. I heard a really good analogy today: If you drive your family to Disneyland (About a 12 hour drive from where I live), and you get off on the wrong exit, you wouldn't turn around and drive back home, you would get yourself back on the correct street and keep going.:happy:
  • atomdraco
    atomdraco Posts: 1,083 Member
    Even eating good healthy food, you need to learn portion size, if you haven't. Check out this guide, and I print out the wallet size version and carried around, especially help if I go out to eat without any measuring stuffs with me:

    http://www.webmd.com/diet/healthtool-portion-size-plate
  • CarterGrt
    CarterGrt Posts: 289 Member
    It might help to start thinking of every day as a separate challenge/accomplishment. Voltaire said, "The Perfect is the enemy of the good." I think the quest and expectation of perfection leads to a constant state of disappointment. I think the great thing about MFP is that it allows you to track the good days, the great days, and the not so great days. It also allows you to see how you are doing on a net weekly basis. I think that one day's failings, at worst, should be recognized as a failure for THAT DAY. The next day is a clean slate, a new opportunity, a new challenge.

    I wish you luck in finding a more nuanced view of your journey in shades of grey.

    --Carter
  • Skinny100
    Skinny100 Posts: 77
    Wow thank you all so much for your advice!! I really didn't expect so many responses. I love the "driving to disneyland" analogy.
    I really believe your advice will help. Thank you so, so much everyone!
  • appleofmyeye
    appleofmyeye Posts: 94
    I heard a really good analogy today: If you drive your family to Disneyland (About a 12 hour drive from where I live), and you get off on the wrong exit, you wouldn't turn around and drive back home, you would get yourself back on the correct street and keep going.:happy:

    Love it! This is a great mindset for staying motivated. :)
This discussion has been closed.

Categories