You look "too thin?"

KittMahan
KittMahan Posts: 106
edited September 24 in Motivation and Support
Last night I went to a charity dinner. An old acquaintance told me that I look "too thin." I told her that I was ten pounds away from my goal and that I felt great, healthier than I had in a long time. She repeated "you look too thin to me, I don't see where the ten pounds is going to come from.

Do you guys get comments like that? How do you handle them?
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Replies

  • CassieH818
    CassieH818 Posts: 221 Member
    She is just jealous :wink:
  • ashers1819
    ashers1819 Posts: 160
    No not yet, but I am holding on to the day when that is possible!
  • gregbott
    gregbott Posts: 2 Member
    Check your clothing. I lost a significant amount of weight, but like you, was shy of my goal and people repeatedly said I looked too thin. At least part of the problem was some of my clothing was now too big on me. After I purchased clothing that fit me better, I heard fewer "too thin" comments. Also, find your healthy weight and go to it, no matter what anyone says. That's my 2c anyway.
  • Belle_Fille
    Belle_Fille Posts: 469
    nope. i dont get those comments. but im going to say "shes just jealous" without seeing what you look like either.
  • JillyCornwall
    JillyCornwall Posts: 376 Member
    I wish LOL.....anyway don't let it get to you...anyone that says that is usually just jealous....otherwise if genuinely concerned they'd phrase it in a more concerned manner!
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
    Yea, I get them types of comments. Gotta love goin to the doctors office and get questioned over and over agian askin me if I am anerxic or if I throw up after eating. Hmmm, do I really look that sick??? Sorry, I love working out and at one point in time 3 times a day just didn't seem like enough but no I always fed myself plenty.

    Also, if I talk to certain ppl they will say OMG seriously, why do you want to lose anymore weight.... First of all, I didn't mention anything bout losing anymore weight and Second: since when does workin out at the gym have anything to do with losing weight???

    Geez! But usually I get really great compliments especially from ppl I haven't seen for a long time. Like omg you look great!. My mom often says I look too thin and that if i lose anymore weight then I will look sick.

    Umm, once again, not tryin to lose anymore weight. My weight bounces between 142 and 148 so I never stress out anymore if I step on the scale and it says 147.5 I just know that it'll drop back down to 142 eventually.
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
    hmmm...I think maybe a case of us girls expecting a thicker set bloke. You say you're aiming for a 34 inch waist and at only 10lbs to go you have to be pretty close to that, you dont say how tall you are but my son is 6ft1 and has a 33 inch waist and he is rakishly thin...although his bmi is just on the healthy line.

    If you're happy when you get to your goal and you don't keep pushing for that extra lb/inch etc then ignore what she says, doubtful that its jealousy as such being a different sex but it could well be just her preference of how she likes her blokes built speaking.
  • RachelHancock
    RachelHancock Posts: 74
    It is so difficult!

    Being overweight is so normalised now that people don't think a roll of fat or an arm wobble is a problem but part of being healthy means having a low body fat percentage.

    I would explain that you see your doctor regularly and they are satisfied that losing another 10lbs would get you into optimum shape for achieving your fitness and health needs., reassure them that if you start to feel unwell or lacking in energy then you'll eat more to meet your body's needs.

    Quite often comments like that come from people that are not interested in fitness and so depending on how well you know them perhaps lending a book to help educate them may be an option.

    Just don't let it get you down and listen to your body as regards to what feels good, not just looks good.
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
    She is SOO jealous.

    I think people are just used to seeing fat people these days. Most people are overweight so that becomes the "normal".

    You look great. Screw her.
  • sturgill
    sturgill Posts: 118
    people that don't see you often normally say that- they did not see the slow weight loss- I think you answered her the way I would have -
  • OLP76
    OLP76 Posts: 768 Member
    Just remember you're doin' it for YOU...Let them say 'You look to thin' - maybe that's their way to say 'Yes, I'm jealous'...

    Just the other day I told my MUM IN LAW - I lost 20 lbs with Power90 on DAY 79 - and she said ' I didn't know you wanted to lose that much' ...I told her my Ulimate Goal weight is to be '120' - her comment was 'That is unhealthy for your age'...

    Sure, I may be thin once I reach 120 - but I will thin and toned with muscle....not like back in highschool at 115-120 - where I was just skin and bones lol

    Do what makes you feel and look happy...don't mind the rest :) xo
  • wiggleroom
    wiggleroom Posts: 322 Member
    My mom constantly tells me I look "gaunt." Yeah, thanks, Mom. Lovely! In order to get her to settle down, I have to tell her my weight -- and once, when she was convinced that I must be "weak," I actually picked up my husband to prove her wrong. =D

    I think people get used to seeing us the way we were, and when we lose weight, our actual frame size is probably smaller than they (or we!) realized. My whole family, including me, believed that I was "big boned." Well, guess what? I am seriously small-framed. So I can understand that it looks weird to her to see me smaller than she thought I could be.

    Seven pounds to go -- we'll see how much flak I get when I get there! Hey, maybe then I can pick HER up (she's heavier than my skinny husband!). =)
  • atrayubrandy
    atrayubrandy Posts: 188 Member
    I would have answered the same way. On of my best friends used to say that to me back when I was 15 lbs thinner than I am right now. I certainly wasn't "too thin." I still had PLENTY of wobble. But I think she was jealous because she's always struggled with her weight and hasn't managed to lose the extra lbs. I think she was trying to sabotage my mindset so I would gain back some of the weight. She also refused to shop with me for clothes because she didn't like that I could fit in to the cute clothes. Hmm...

    I don't know why she would have said it to you, though. I don't feel like women are typically jealous of men...at least not their weight.
  • sincitylulu
    sincitylulu Posts: 22
    Certainly. There are some people who will be uncomfortable with your weight loss. I think it's more of her personal issue than yours. The best thing to do is disregard her comment and remember that you are doing this for you and not satisfy anyone else.
  • mrssparkle
    mrssparkle Posts: 47
    No one ever tells me I look too thin - I wish! But I have had "oh, you wouldn't look right thin or you don't want to be thin you'll only be cold in winter??????? Ok I will wear another jumper!

    I think for someone to say that must feel threatened by your weight loss! Just carry on what you are doing and take no notice. Good luck
  • mrssparkle
    mrssparkle Posts: 47
    No one ever tells me I look too thin - I wish! But I have had "oh, you wouldn't look right thin or you don't want to be thin you'll only be cold in winter??????? Ok I will wear another jumper!

    I think for someone to say that must feel threatened by your weight loss! Just carry on what you are doing and take no notice. Good luck
  • lukimakamai
    lukimakamai Posts: 498 Member
    Being overweight/obese is so normal in our society these days that being a normal healthy weight is now viewed as "thin"
  • _CowgirlUp_
    _CowgirlUp_ Posts: 585 Member
    I agree with the others in that fat is normal these days. If you're thin, you're "not right." Thin and skin and bones is not right (cover models) but thin with tone muscles is what we're all striving for here. Don't let it bother you and keep doing what you're doing.

    I lost a bunch of weight way back when and was about 5-10 lbs short of my goal but I really started to notice the weight loss in my face was making me look "sunken" and shallow so I let myself slowly add 5 lbs and let that be my goal weight at the time. I'm aiming for that weight again now.
  • cardbucfan
    cardbucfan Posts: 10,571 Member
    Yes, I get this and the variation of "don't lose anymore weight-you'll look sick". My response is either I'm focusing on toning (somewhat true, I only have 1 more lb. to go to hit my goal weight but that is a weight I pulled out of the air) or "you've never seen me naked" because I'm at that point where I still have jiggle. One thing I try to remember is I have a friend in my golf foursome (female 5'7") who lost about 18 lbs. a year ago. While she was losing, the rest of us kept talking amongst ourselves that we thought she was looking too thin and it wasn't a good look. Now, though, it looks normal and not unhealthy. She looks really good and I'm trying to keep that in mind. People tend to associate a lot of weight loss with illness and when you lose weight in your face (the first place for me besides the girls) it's really noticeable. They're not looking at my butt or tummy!
  • oldtyke
    oldtyke Posts: 149 Member
    Could I just ask, was she overweight herself? When I was at target I only got this sort of remark from people who needed to lose weight.
  • KittMahan
    KittMahan Posts: 106
    She might be just a touch, not much, overweight.

    You've all hit it right i think, equal measures of jealousy, swimming in my clothes, this is so different from how I used to look, and society's acceptance of obesity as the normal condition.

    Thank you all, this was very helpful :)
  • KittMahan
    KittMahan Posts: 106
    Going to pick up a few new shirts by the way :p
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
    That's great.

    Sometimes people don't know what to do when their "fat friend" is no longer fat. lol.
  • jymalfonzo
    jymalfonzo Posts: 37
    In my dreams I get comments like that LOL! Soon very soon people will be saying that to me.
  • AmberElaine84
    AmberElaine84 Posts: 964 Member
    I had that comment many times along the way to my goal weight. It seems like I had people tell me at 160, 155, 150, and 145. Right when I hit a big goal. Right now I am debating on another 5 or 10, and I have people say that there isn't 10 more pounds to lose! As much as I'd like to say, "OH, ok, thanks, you're right!" lol, I know myself, and I know what will make me happy!! Keep on doing an awesome job!!
  • ababygrace
    ababygrace Posts: 123
    All I got to say is take it in. Good for you for feeling great about yourself. I have had people tell me when I was 140 that I looked too skinny. Really? I think it was just jealousy.
  • LewisBirchenough
    LewisBirchenough Posts: 22
    The last time I was in decent shape was a couple of years ago when I got loads of comments about being too thin and looking unhealthy. The problem I have is that I lose off my face well before my stomach, so when I lose the stomach, I tend to look a bit emaciated in the face.

    It didn't bother me that much though as I knew I was in good shape.
  • zucena
    zucena Posts: 43
    Ignore and keep to your goal... You'll never be able to satisfy everybody, remember there will always be that one person that feels they are the one to let you know, the question is are they truely happy with themselves? Think about what you want and what makes you happy. You have to live with yourself. Now if you are underweight and that person telling you is your doctor then maybe take it into consideration. :wink:
  • elloradannon
    elloradannon Posts: 111
    Yeah- I've had the same problem. I also have about 10 more pounds to lose. I had a husband and wife tell me that if I lost any more weight I would look sick and that people would start talking about how "OMG did you see Katrina? She's too skinny". They are both overweight though and I think the perception of average weight is a lot heavier than it really should be. I would try not to worry about it~ As long as you know that you look good, that's what counts. People just may not be used to seeing you like that!
  • jlcghs27408
    jlcghs27408 Posts: 37 Member
    Yep, I get that sometimes. Even when I was wearing size 10 jeans. For me (personally), that is not TOO thin. I think people just say that because they aren't sure what else to say & maybe they think it's complimentary?
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