trouble with my crush HAHA so high school

Options
gertrude13
gertrude13 Posts: 64
in Chit-Chat
i really do not know if this is the right place for this but i want to ask something really badly that i can't really ask anybody about. well, there is this guy that i really like and i have a pretty good feeling that he likes me back but he has a girl friend. i try to keep things innocent but you know that high school jitters you get, well i get them a lot. so i try to distance myself with him but he keeps coming closer to me. and to me that is really a turn off because DUH he has a girl.

my problem is i'm not good with confrontations, i really suck at it, how do i tell him to back off? (remember, no profession has been done so technically we are "friends")

i'm really sorry for this petty post (and i know this is not the place for this kinds of things) but i can't tell my friends because i'm too ashamed that i'm at risk of being the "third girl"? thank you for the help :)

Replies

  • JesaGrace
    JesaGrace Posts: 799 Member
    Options
    You can try to be subtle about telling him to back off, but some guys don't get it....you might have to point blank tell him to keep his distance....
  • OLP76
    OLP76 Posts: 768 Member
    Options
    He has a GF already...He probably knows that you like him, and he's lovin' the attention from you....

    Now, if you two ever should get together - what makes you think he won't be doin' the same to another girl behind your back...

    Your a pretty lady, I'm sure there is someone out there admirin' you from a far :smile:
  • starboardzor
    starboardzor Posts: 312
    Options
    It's not that hard to tell a guy to leave you alone. My guess is subconciously you don't want him to leave you alone though. I know how it is. It's exciting, but the only thing that will come of this is drama, drama, drama... but life can get boring, so why not?

    But if you want him to back off with as little confrontation as possible, just give him the cold shoulder. Ignore his advances and don't encourage him. Act extremely disinterested. Most guys lose their steam when they really see a girl is blowing them off. He'll get the idea.
  • promiseskept
    promiseskept Posts: 119
    Options
    I would hint that you find it repulsive when a guy with a girlfriend flirts with another girl. Make it as if you are speaking of another acquaintance, and he should get the hint. If not, then just come out and say, "Look, I feel we are crossing some kind of line where I wouldn't feel good if your girlfriend walked in right now."
    Looks like you have a different kind of weight loss need. Hee hee!!
  • Wolffeathers
    Wolffeathers Posts: 38
    Options
    If he's anything like me, you'll need to tell him directly. Now, he may be just a huge flirt (like I am), so he may not be seeing anything wrong with flirting, nor may his girl friend.
  • SSampley
    SSampley Posts: 153 Member
    Options
    I say if your friends then next time you talk and he gets kinda to close or the situation gets uncomfortable, ask hows his girlfriend doing...it just breaks the moment up and puts her in the front of his mind. Also just lets him know that you are aware of the situation and it is making you a little uncomfortable.
  • ChRiStA_1983
    ChRiStA_1983 Posts: 380 Member
    Options
    "If he'll do it with you, he'll do it TO you"....

    Just remember that! If you TRULY want him to back off, you may have to be blunt about it....

    And if you secretly love the attention, and DON'T want him to back off, just keep in mind that the chances are pretty high that he'll be flirting with other girls behind your back, while you two are dating, just like he's doing to his current gf...

    You deserve more than that!
  • gertrude13
    gertrude13 Posts: 64
    Options
    thank you guys for the encouragement and practical suggestions! (those are really good, believe me i'll do it)

    i don't want to come out of this situation as a flirt, thank you for that eye opener. love you guys!
  • ShunkyDave
    ShunkyDave Posts: 190 Member
    Options
    My advice: confront him, and say you like him and would like to spend time with him. But he has to choose to leave the GF and be with you, or stay with the GF and quit with the attention. He can choose and will, if he wants to. Don't hang with him 'like that' if he's got a GF. Just because he's not strong enough to uphold decency doesn't mean that you aren't too.
  • jmabley
    jmabley Posts: 20
    Options
    Maybe the next time he gets to close just remind him that he has a girlfriend and that it bothers you that he behaving this way because you know it can't go any farther then the flirting.

    This happen to myself in grade 12. This guy I had a crush on for years but I was never really able to do anything about it if he wasn't dating someone, then I was so I just stayed away from him and only hung out with him with a big group of friends. One night he called me out of the blue to invite me out to his 19th birthday, I figured all his friends and his girlfriend would be there so I went.

    His girlfriend wasn't there, but a bunch of his friends were so we partied and danced all night. After last call I friend of my called and invited me to a house party so I invited everyone but my crush was the only one that wanted to go. I figured my friends would be there so it should be OK. We all got pretty drunk playing card games for shots and when the party was done, we had started to kiss when I pushed him back and reminded him that he had a girlfriend. We stop what we were doing and went to sleep.

    The next day I dropped him off at home and we didn't really speak for about a week when he called me up to go play some pool with his best friend. After we were done playing pool we walk around a talk and he told me that the only reason he kissed me was because he knew things would never work with his current girlfriend and that he had told her everything and she got really mad but forgiven him and then he explained to her that if things were really going that well between them, then the kissing me would have never happened in the first place and they broke up and we started dating. I was so excited and happy, I mean I had a crush on this guy through elementary school and high school.

    And now we have been together for 8 years, 5 of those years we have now been married. I am not saying that this will or will not happen for you but just be honest with yourself and him and you should be just fine. You don't know what your future is with this guy but I have high hopes for you if not with this guy, then with the next!

    By the way he still hung out with his ex from time to time be cause he has always stayed friends with his ex's, which made things a little hard because she HATED me, so I got his best friend to ask her out and now they have been together for 6 years.

Categories