Unsupportive Friends...

ExerciseGeek · March 2011

Hi all,

First of all, im a student nurse, age 20, 5'8 and 9stone 10. Im living with 4 girls and 3 guys in a student house.Lastyear, living in halls of residences, my weight crept up and I ended up been 11stone 2pounds, doing no exercise and eating alot of fast food.

I decided it was time for change, so started a low carb diet, and started to run, to get my fitness up, around this time I had alot of friends who were supportive, and all complimented me on how well I was doing after losing a stone and a half. I joined the gym in september 2010, and have been going nearly everyday, including classes, also I joined the football team, for a chance to meet new people. I still had a social life, dispite all the exercise, and used to go out with my house mates alot. Thing is, as I started to look better, feel better, my house mates seemed to be different with me...

Almost as if I had done something wrong, they wouldnt walk with me to uni, or ask me to go out clubbing with them. But me been me, I plodded on, and just hung and went out with my boyfriend and the football girls. One of my housemates who I used to be close with started been really off with me, so I text and asked her what was going on, so admitted shes jealous because I do so well, and I achieve alot etc, and sorry for been like that, said she'l try harder. Yet she hasent and they are all the same. I know I have not changed as a person, but im finiding it hard to accept that they are not happy for me?

Help?? Does anyone else have this problem?

xxx

osram34 · March 2011

Yup that happens... most humans are jelouse by nature so at first they are happy for you then when they see that you stick to your goals and enjoy it to the point where its a satisfaction. You start to represent what they should be doing and it start to bother them...

but dont worry they are the onces that are loosing out, Fitness is the future keep it up and remember.... only the strong survive LOL

Wouldn't it all be easyer if they would just jump on the fitness wagon with us?? Rarely does that happen they are bunch of couch patattos...

Deszare · March 2011

Well its never going to get better! You should probably be thinking of moving out of there. I know it hurts but you don't need to be around negativity like that. It will just jump start you back to were you were. Jealous women don't change even if they claim to be your best friend. Sorry but thats how life is sometimes. I've delt with that and I finally decided not to put myself around that anymore. It was bad and it became worse. Not only will they bejealous of you, they will start resenting you. if they are truely your friends then hey maybe they will change because sometimes friends get jealous of one another every now and then they get over it and move on. In your case it doesn't look like thats gonna happen. Stay strong and know that nothing you did was wrong!

Atlantique · March 2011

I really don't think it is 'jealousy' or 'envy'.

Whenever someone in a social group (family, friends, work colleagues, etc.) makes a major life change, it threatens other people. Nearly everyone would LIKE to eat healthier and be in better shape. Nearly no one ever does a thing to make it happen, instead plying themselves with numerous excuses as to why they 'can't'.

But when you do take the initiative and make the commitment to change, the very fact that you have done so effectively nullifies all of their excuses. So now they have to look at themselves and the REAL reasons they won't make any changes, and that is EXTREMELY uncomfortable. (It was for all of us as we began our journeys as well.) You are a constant reminder that they are drifting through their lives and kidding themselves, and some people simply can't handle it.

With the friends who have reached out: remind them that you love them as they are, and that you made choices for yourself ONLY.

Some of them may come around, but some of them will wander off with people who validate their choices.

Unsupportive Friends...

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