I'm not sure if this is a vent...or a meltdown...but I just

Awww girl! I am sorry to hear this!

Its so true what they say about switching one habit for another, you aren't eating bad things now, but you are consumed with eating the right things.


My only advice is to add fun back into it. and to remove the stress... don't worry about the number so much.. but who am I to say anything! Im not expert.


I hope you find a solution.

Oh my goodness.. I'm so sorry.. it will be ok!
I was just thinking this the other day.. how I've become completely obsessed with calories, eating, working out.. the whole thing. It's frustrating and sometimes exhausting, both physically and mentally. I'm an all or nothing kinda gal so this is all I know. But I realize I need to temper and balance my desire to be healthier and fit with everyday life and the world around me. It is so hard, I know. If you think you would benefit from therapy, go for it. Many doctors offer a sliding scale fee type of deal so I'm willing to be you can do that without sacrificing your gym membership.

I wish I had more words of wisdom for you. Hang in there, it will get better, this too shall pass!

((HUGS))

Your name says it all!! Don't give up!!! Admitting that you have a problem is the most important and sometimes most difficult step. If you feel that therapy will help you, then you should do everything you can to get into see a therapist.

I wish I had something more helpful to say. Good luck!

Sounds to me like you are being really hard on yourself. Dont we all do this though? But what struck me the most in what you wrote was this one sentence. And to me, this could be what is the root of what you are going through... "That I shouldn't have kids until I lose a significant amount of weight."

You may want to check with your Employee Assistance Program through your job. They should have some sort of system in place for you to call and talk to people (for free). These programs usually have all sorts of assistance that they can help you with concerns over depression/anxiety/stree, relationships, parenting, legal, financial, substance abuse/issues, grief/loss, credit problems/concerns, dealing with change, workplace challenges, etc. They could also provide resources/referrals for child care, elder care, financial issues, legal issues, pet care, identity theft, educational opportunities, and a whole lot of personal services (reservations, car repairs, cleaning, entertainment, etc.) I took this from the flyer that I have from my job. I know of people who have called about their eating habits/frustrations and have found it very helpful (and confidential!!!) Good luck and keep your head about you!!!

You will figure it all out. Right now, you're making a HUGE change in yourself, so it's natural to want to learn as much as you can about it. Once you are well educated, you will be better equiped to make good decisions in the future. That being said,a therapist can work wonders. Let them know from the start that cost is an option. Sometimes something as simple as once a month can help tons. They can give you homework and you can track your progress with them on a monthly basis. If you cancel your membership try to ensure that you have other ways of working out. It's a great stress reliever and you will start to appreciate what your body is capable of. Best of luck, we're all here for you!

Most of us are here because we need help. Don't feel bad about that. We are looking up foods, logging and some even planning out days before they happened. I would think that is setting yourself up for success. From what I can tell you are pretty new at this and educating yourself. You can't learn how to do it if you don't educate yourself.

It takes some time but eventually it will consume less of your thoughts and time, but if you feel like it really is a problem then by all means go talk to someone, however I think what you are going through is something many of us do in the beginning. Eventually it does come more naturally.

In the beginning I would not put anything in my mouth unless I had logged it. I would take an hour in the grocery store cause I was reading labels. I had my husband saving labels when he cooked dinner so I could log it and would know exactly what I was eating. And now, I still read labels but it comes more naturally taking less time. I also know what it is alot of the foods already and have a better idea of what I am getting to not have to worry as much.

Good luck in your journey

I don't think you need therapy. You are doing the right thing. People tend to criticize that which they dont understand. We experience it as children and we tend to forget it as we get older. You are obsessing about food. The journaling, concentrating on eating healthy, the focus on you, it all shows an obsession. I have the same issue, but the obsession, if you can focus it makes you more equipped to do what needs to be done.

My internal mechanisms have me looking for comfort in food, deriving pleasure in its preparation and consumption, watching tv based on it, etc. Unchecked, that compulsion has me gaining 40 lbs, going from 155 to 195 inside 8 months to a year. Checked, however, that compulsion has me learning new recipes, focusing on healthy foods, recognizing what foods make me happy and what foods make me sad, and building a healthy lifestyle based on an obsession. Granted, extremism is sometime unhealthy, but if you are going to use it to craft a healthy lifestyle, one in which you can supersede expectation, than you are a winner.

Focusing on it, charting your progress, moving in the right circles, being fanatic, will help you to maintain a support structure to permit success. Nobody criticizes a sales guy who attends seminars to be a better salesperson. People don't stigmatize a doctor for loving medicine. You should recognize that your desire and drive to be healthy are a gift, not a burden.

I just got a Polar F7 HRM. A coworker criticized that I am to bent on this whole 'health kick.' She can keep talking her **** as I drop weight and get healthy and she sits on her lazy *kitten* eating 100 calorie snack packs of cheezits and oreos. I will talk to coworkers about healthy recipes Ive made and workouts that Ive accomplished and she will give an eye roll or a sigh...and then my brain goes back to the idea. People will criticize and try to bring you down. If your boss isnt healthy or trying to be healthy, then she doesnt understand...and maybe she is jealous....or feels guilty...maybe what she is really saying is...I wish I was healthier too, but I dont know how to get there or what it entails.

Sorry for rambling. I think that a good percentage of us have some type of 'disorder.' Being passionate shouldn't be considered so. Good luck.

I don't think you need therapy. You are doing the right thing. People tend to criticize that which they dont understand. We experience it as children and we tend to forget it as we get older. You are obsessing about food. The journaling, concentrating on eating healthy, the focus on you, it all shows an obsession. I have the same issue, but the obsession, if you can focus it makes you more equipped to do what needs to be done.

My internal mechanisms have me looking for comfort in food, deriving pleasure in its preparation and consumption, watching tv based on it, etc. Unchecked, that compulsion has me gaining 40 lbs, going from 155 to 195 inside 8 months to a year. Checked, however, that compulsion has me learning new recipes, focusing on healthy foods, recognizing what foods make me happy and what foods make me sad, and building a healthy lifestyle based on an obsession. Granted, extremism is sometime unhealthy, but if you are going to use it to craft a healthy lifestyle, one in which you can supersede expectation, than you are a winner.

Focusing on it, charting your progress, moving in the right circles, being fanatic, will help you to maintain a support structure to permit success. Nobody criticizes a sales guy who attends seminars to be a better salesperson. People don't stigmatize a doctor for loving medicine. You should recognize that your desire and drive to be healthy are a gift, not a burden.

I just got a Polar F7 HRM. A coworker criticized that I am to bent on this whole 'health kick.' She can keep talking her **** as I drop weight and get healthy and she sits on her lazy *kitten* eating 100 calorie snack packs of cheezits and oreos. I will talk to coworkers about healthy recipes Ive made and workouts that Ive accomplished and she will give an eye roll or a sigh...and then my brain goes back to the idea. People will criticize and try to bring you down. If your boss isnt healthy or trying to be healthy, then she doesnt understand...and maybe she is jealous....or feels guilty...maybe what she is really saying is...I wish I was healthier too, but I dont know how to get there or what it entails.

Sorry for rambling. I think that a good percentage of us have some type of 'disorder.' Being passionate shouldn't be considered so. Good luck.

Couldn't have said it any better myself!!

Sometimes I get so frustrated and overwhelmed with how much time and thought goes into trying to eat right and be healthy. It's not easy to do that's for sure. I have been accused of being obsessed as well, when I thought maybe they were right, and let go, I gained weight and lost control. We know what we need to do for ourselves to be successful and make it happen, and thats okay.

First off, you have to know that you're not alone, and I think you've made a huge step by admitting that your obsession is causing issues in your work life and personal life. That being said, your next step is to get help in some way. As Toni mentioned, your employer should have an Employee Assistance Program. Talk to your HR person to get more information. Most of the time the counseling is offered at no charge. Then start making little changes on your own. Only allow yourself x amount of minutes per day online looking up calories or researching food. If you're the type of person who likes to plan, sit down every Sunday (or whichever day works best for you) to play your week's menu and then enter it in online. Then it's already taken care of and you won't need to worry about researching.

Most importantly, don't be so hard on yourself. Just focus on making little changes so you're not so overwhelmed!

I wish you the best of luck!

First off, you have to know that you're not alone, and I think you've made a huge step by admitting that your obsession is causing issues in your work life and personal life. That being said, your next step is to get help in some way. As Toni mentioned, your employer should have an Employee Assistance Program. Talk to your HR person to get more information. Most of the time the counseling is offered at no charge. Then start making little changes on your own. Only allow yourself x amount of minutes per day online looking up calories or researching food. If you're the type of person who likes to plan, sit down every Sunday (or whichever day works best for you) to play your week's menu and then enter it in online. Then it's already taken care of and you won't need to worry about researching.

Most importantly, don't be so hard on yourself. Just focus on making little changes so you're not so overwhelmed!

I wish you the best of luck!

Wait a minute. I am on here ALL DAY LONG! I sit in front of a computer for work and I constantly look up stuff and try to figure out the right thing to do. The people who talk about losing weight and don't do it are the ones with problems. I know so many people who are unhappy with the way they look or feel but continue to eat garbage all day long. Their main reason is because they dont know any other way. Why? Because they never spent the time to learn. Eating cheesesticks and steamed dumplings and footlong subs and then asking, "What am I doing wrong?"

If you are going to be obsessed with a website, better here than facebook or TMZ or porn. This is productive. People who are alcoholics have a support structure in AA. Drug addicts have NA. Those guys can abstain from drinking and smoking crack. Food addicts have to eat...not saying she is a food addict. At AA and NA, they tell you that 7 days without a session makes one weak. Strength is in exposure, knowing other peoples' struggles, and making it a point to make conscious, well thought, structured positive decisions and to leave the garbage behind.

What are the issues that it is causing in her work and personal life? I might have misread, but I didnt see that. All I caught was that someone had issue with what she was doing. If I am correct in that, than that is someone else's problem, not hers.

Obsessing over food or anything is not good for you. Now fixing it is easier said than done. When I was anorexic many years ago I obsessed about food and exercising - it's all I ever thought about. It took years for me to get over that but hopefully you aren't as far gone as I was at that point.

Something that may help you in this area is prelogging your food and exercise. Once you know exactly what you can eat throughout the day and how many calories that will add up to you'll be able to free your mind up to concentrate on other things.

Get moving! When you find yourself obsessing about food take a walk - if you're at work take a lap around the office. Just walk away from the computer and focus on something else for a few minutes.

Allow yourself a limited time on the computer to be looking up recipes and dieting tips. Once that time is up go do something else. I love the internet but sometimes you just need to turn it off.

OK so speaking as a therapist there is a few things right off the bat.

1st do not beat yourself up. You are not just addicted to food but also you have the fear that if you do not pay really close attention to what you are eating and counting those calories you will gain more weight. You are beating yourself up and following the guilt cycle of see I am not good enough.

See I am not good enough to eat right, see I am not good enough to be a mom, see I am not good enough to be a good wife, see I am not good enough for support.

Here is the deal angel with everything new that we do we get all consumed! We do this because we allow our fear and lack of knowledge to get in the way. Yes you can go get therapy and depending where you live inexpensive too but then is it going to be see I am so messed up I take away money from my husband?

Cut yourself a break. It took you time to get this size and it is going to take time to get over this size. You do not need to obsess about what you are eating and how much so let that go. Learn everything you need to about the food you should eat, cut down the calories and work out..Simple really. All the stressing is going to do is make you gain weight.
You are sarcastic because you are unhappy. You are moody because you are depriving your body of something and you feel messed up because you are scared you are going to fail......

Take a deep breath, keep the gym, find a local place for over eaters anonymous love your husband. Tell him you are working on pulling your head out of your butt and let things go. Take an hour a day for you away from everything. When working out crank your tunes in your mp3 player!, enjoy your food take time eating it and allow yourself some slack.. If this was your child going through this what would you say or do for him or her? Do it for yourself....

Believe in the change angel.....You are going to be just fine.