How many MFP friends can you handle??

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Celo24
Celo24 Posts: 566 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've been thinking about this as my friend list grows (I'm at 121). I accept anyone and love meeting new people. However, I also purge my friend list regularly and if the relationship isn't reciprocal or if they wind up not being a good fit for me or they aren't active, I defriend them. I hope no one I have defriended takes that personally, but this is my journey and I have to be comfortable with the people I choose as my support system. No offense intended.

The reason I like the manage my friend list so closely is that I really want to feel like I can support all my friends. I know 250 would be VERY difficult for me to feel like I know them all and quite frankly, I wouldn't have time to respond to 250 people daily. So where is the cutoff? What do the rest of y'all do?

Replies

  • ChefJenn
    ChefJenn Posts: 350 Member
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    I tend to check out the profile of who I am adding before really adding them.
    like you I cant give response to everyone since we are all on different time zones, countries , etc...
  • hummzz
    hummzz Posts: 384 Member
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    I add whoever requests! I have tons too. Not sure how many. Maybe upwards to 150 plus. I support everyone even if they don't reciprocate. I feel that karma will be on my side. LOL...Guess I could purge, but really whats the point! I might post that one thing that comes across their page that motivates them to do better!
  • qtwells82
    qtwells82 Posts: 352
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    I have about 230 friends and i just dont have the heart to defriend any of them. I basically wait until im at 250 and delete some. Mainly because they arnt active anymore or they dont talk with me often. I think 100 friends would be good for me...but like I said, i cant let them go :smile:

    But i agree with you completely...this is YOUR journey.
    I wont feel offended if you would ever defriend me...just wish you luck on your journey :drinker:
  • countrymom75
    countrymom75 Posts: 32 Member
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    I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT TODAY. I ONLY HAVE A FEW FRIENDS ON HERE AND I FEEL BAD BECAUSE THERE ARE ALOT OF PEOPLE ON HERE WHO SAY THEY ARE WELCOMING NEW FRIENDS AND I WAS AFRAID TO TAKE ON A BUNCH AND NOT BE ABLE TO BE "A FRIEND" TO THEM ALL. SO I DECIDED TO JUST STICK WITH THE ONES I HAVE AT THE MOMENT.
    SO, NO IF YOU DEFRIEND SOMEONE CAUSE THERE ISN'T A CONNECTION THERE I DON'T THINK THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT. I WANT TO BE AN ENCOURAGEMENT TO PEOPLE AND HOPEFULLY RECIEVE SOME BACK. IF YOU HAVE TOO MANY THEY JUST ALL GET LOST AMONGST EACH OTHER. RIGHT? THAN WHAT IS THE POINT IF YOU CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF THEM ALL?
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
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    I have been up to around 250, but the problem is, when you have that many, the news feed cannot keep up, so I start to miss a lot of comments some are leaving....so I have to go in and delete, just to clear it up a bit......I think I am down to like 200 or so now, and just can't delete any more!
  • MaryDreamer
    MaryDreamer Posts: 439
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    Great topic! I'm down to 89 right now. I had over 100 something. I deleted about 20 "inactives" this morning. So I basically do the same as you. I accept almost anyone and if they're an avid user who I come to communicate with fine, if not, then I remove them. Some people add you and never use the program.
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    I usually accept everyone. We all joined this site for the same reason. I can always tell the ones who are truly dedicated because I recognize them and they show up often on my homepage. Plus they support me so I support them. So far, I've made a few friends which I talk to often and have helped me more so than the others.
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
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    i accept everyone, because you cant always completely judge a person by their profile. i think i would weed out people i just dont have anything in common with after a while, because we obviously aren't the best fit to each other if we arent communicating.
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    depends for me. Since there's no "follow" option on MFP, in order for people to see some of the stuff you are doing, they have to be a friend. So since I post so many informational posts, I receive a lot of friend requests, which is fine, first come first serve. while I wouldn't consider all 250 CLOSE friends, that doesn't stop me from friending them. Ultimately the choice is up to you. And for me, it's a matter of allowing as many as I can to follow the things I write upon their request.
  • CaraRadz
    CaraRadz Posts: 169 Member
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    I accept everyone who sends me a request.

    I am someone who logs on every morning and makes sure to comment on everyone's successful under-calorie day and weight loss that was posted to my newsfeed overnight. Throughout the day I make sure to check in and see how great my friends are doing. I try to be as supportive of my friends as I can. I only have 42 friends at the moment, so it's manageable. Of course I miss things since I can't be on MFP 24/7, but I really do my best to stay involved.

    That said, every now and then I go through and re-evaluate my friends list. Because I am someone who goes out of my way to support those around me, I would in turn like to be supported. I totally understand that everyone isn't going to comment on every single one of my status updates, but I don't think it's unrealistic to think that I should get feedback at least once a week. It's frustrating to congratulate someone every single day on their success and then never hear anything back from them. I will be a bit more flexible with people I've been friends with longer, but I will delete friends if I feel like the friendship is completely one-sided.

    The same goes for people who don't log-in consistently. Seeing "So-and-So has not logged in for XX days" on my newsfeed is disheartening, and frankly it bums me out. I will always give people the benefit of the doubt, especially if I've been friends with them for a while, and I'm not going to freak out if someone's only been gone for like three days. At the same time, seeing people giving up or not being as committed as they should be is upsetting to me, and I don't want it on my newsfeed.

    Then there are some people that I could just never delete. A bunch of my friends have been with me from my first week at MFP, and I feel a certain level of allegiance to that group. So no matter how infrequently they comment or how many days they don't log-in, I just can't bring myself to get rid of them.

    Maybe all of that makes me sound terrible, but so be it. I think I'm pretty darn good MFP friend, and I want to be friends with other supportive, committed people. I should also note that if someone I un-friended tried to re-friend me, I would absolutely give them a second chance. Everyone on this site has fallen off of the weight loss wagon at some point in their life, so I'm not here to judge.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    I've been deleting a few everyday. I generally accept everyone and see how they pan out. I def accept if they include a message. I delete inactive people. I threatened my HUSBAND with deletion yesterday if he didn't get his *kitten* back here and log his food. So, we'll see if he makes the next cut :devil:
  • Losing2Live69
    Losing2Live69 Posts: 743 Member
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    I do the same thing. If someone doesn't have anything at all filled out on their profile I won't friend them. If they stop logging in and tracking their food, continually make unhealthy choices (like fried chicken, McDonalds, and Cheesecake Factory), or never interact with me when I do with them...I use my magic wand and make them disappear. I know this may sound wrong, but I have certain "criteria" that most of my friends fall in to....my age, women, have about the same amount of weight to lose as me, consistently fill out their food diaries, check in most days, and have completed their profiles. I just feel the need to surround myself with only positive and supportive people.
  • hpygirl64ColleenLinder
    hpygirl64ColleenLinder Posts: 146 Member
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    I agree on this part: the more friends you have the more support you'll have = success! I don't concern myself with who is active or inactive as I prefer to spend my time posting motivational "food for thought" and keeping people inspired, growing, and helping them on their journey. To think that If even one person that may revisit this site stumbles back and something I may have said had influenced them to do whatever it takes to succeed this time is what moves, touches, and inspires me to keep going. We've all had times that we've let go of our goals and let life and our selves "stop" us. It just takes one person to reach out and believe in us....

    Challenge: I encourage you to keep all the friends active or inactive and maybe even reach out to those that haven't been online & see if you can show that someone out there that someone cares enough about them & misses them. Ask them to get
    back connected, maybe even be there accountability partner?? They may just need that nudge or some love!!

    Happy Friending everyone and PAY IT FORWARD!!! Colleen in Seattle
  • ashleyplus3
    ashleyplus3 Posts: 284 Member
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    I agree with everything FutureMrsR said - that's exactly what I was going to say! I only have 11 friends right now so I think I could handle more - 50 sounds like a good number. :smile:
  • CoachsWife4
    CoachsWife4 Posts: 79 Member
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    All I can say is JUST DON'T DELETE ME! :laugh:
  • SuzanneRogers
    SuzanneRogers Posts: 250 Member
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    I don't have a cutoff. I have friends I know personally, other I've met here, and others that have followed me here form Twitter and Facebook.

    I respond to friends friends workout, food diaries and weight loss when I can, some days are easier than others with 3 children some days I'm lucky to just post log my food. We have to remember to put ourselves first then help support others when they need us.. I love all the encouragement from everyone here. I try to return the favor regularly, so if I don't respond daily, it is not because I don't care, I just run out of time.

    The summer is hardest for me, we are never home and travel all over the country visiting family and getting online is not a priority.. So I will be MIA off and on during kids summer break.

    Don't delete me! :-)
  • Rinny_D
    Rinny_D Posts: 80 Member
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    Wow, you are all so keen. I was honestly going to say that I thought having 30 friends was almost too many. I like to be able to have a personal relationship, so to speak, with my MFP friends, know who each of them are and actually remember things about them, like who like certain sports, who to ask about specific diets or physical activities. I delete most "in-actives" once they have been inactive for 2-3 months.


    Also I generally Only add people with realistic goals. It sounds mean but I have so many battles of my own that I just don't want to have to fight more.


    Also, when I look for people to add I usually add only those who have a lot of weight to lose who seem to have the right idea that weight loss is a lifetime commitments, people who are the same size as me with a similar weight, as I know I am small, and 'bigger' people so to speak seem to get angry at me that I "feel fat", when, yes, I know that I am not, BUT I do have fat and a need to fulfill my wishes to be happy about the way I look too. And 3rd of all, and most importantly- I add people who LOVE to workout, because my ultimate goal, above being 48 kg on the scales, is to LOOK GOOD and BE FIT!

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