SINGLE AND DATING

polo571 · March 2011

So what kind of people is evewryone picking now to date? Do you look for someone who is living a healthy lifestyle? Do you share your story with people you potentially might date? Im interested in what people are thinking and what they might be doing.

hollyknouse · March 2011

I rarely want to tell people that I have just met that I have lost 100 pounds. I am embarassed of how unhealthy I was. Guys always want to go out to eat on a date and that makes it difficult sometimes. I liked dates that didn't have to revolve around food

I do thinking sharing a healthy lifestyle is important when dating someone so it doesn't ruin/sabotoge what you are doing.

jewelzz · March 2011

I tell everone about my weight loss and my fiance is about 40lbs overweight.So for me it wasent a big deal I was more into the type of person he is and if he met what I was looking for and he does

♥Violette♥4Ever♥ · March 2011

I would not be embarrassed to tell my story. If anything, I think it would tell that other person that you care about yourself and how you look and I honestly think a lot of men like that.

I would like someone who likes the outdoors, likes sports, likes music, likes to be active.

ican♥and♥iwill · March 2011

Well... I've recently met an amazing man, so fortunately for me I'm no longer single.

BUT - I was single for quite some time. While I was dating, I mostly went for taller leaner men. It has always been my preference, for whatever reason, I find myself to be most attracted to men built that way. (Maybe it's my subconcious telling me they're healthier?! IDK!) I dated a "juicer" once, big muscles & in the gym for multiple hours in a day, and I found myself feeling completely inadequate because I wasn't on his fitness level. And for the record, in no way, did HE make me feel that way by words or gestures, it was just my own insecurities.

My boyfriend now does not lead a healthy lifestyle, and I'm perfectly okay with that. It definitely makes my eating choices a bit more difficult when we spend weekends together, but its also comforting to know that he won't judge me or think less of me if I decide to go for the potato chips one night instead of baby carrots. He knows where I've been, and where I want to be and he supports me and I find that matters most.

And I was always shared my story when I began seeing people. It's a big part of who I am and how I live my life. I'm not proud of the fact that I weighed 280 at one point in my life - in fact I'm quite embarrassed by it - but I am proud of the hardwork and dedication its taken to get where I am now. I like to think it's a statement of my character and what I have to offer someone.

Serenitytoo · March 2011

I have found myself hesitating to tell them (I have lost over 80lbs in the last 2 years) It is somewhat embarassing, and I feel that if I go into it now it is almost like trying to defend that I won't continue to be the size I am (I still have 70ish lbs to go). It almost makes it feel like I am not comfortable where I am, or confident in who I am aside from the package I am currently in. Yet I am proud of my accomplishment... so it is an odd duality at work there.

newDZ · March 2011

i didn't tell one guy i recently started dating last summer that i had lost 100lbs (at the time... by the way i am down another 31 since then)...

so back to the story...

i didn't say anything then one day out of the blue he told me something i had heard most of my life "you have such a nice face maybe you should lose some weight" immediately my mind went spinning, here i thought i had found something and after-all i was down 100lbs (and still losing)... my hurt immediately went to "see in people's eye's i'm still fat." then my soul (the same soul that kept me focused to losing the 100lbs in the first place) said "you have your own goal, not his goal for you but your goal for you."

i didn't stay in the hurt. and i didn't try to defend myself either or try to placate to his observation, by telling him "no no see i lost 100lbs"... i just said to him "if you are telling me this out of criticism i don't need it, if you are telling me this out of concern, just know i have my own private goals for myself" ... and i didn't mention it again. in fact we are now basically just friends, not dating, i figure my true mate will "see me" as i am not as he wants me to be.

DowntimeDesigns · March 2011

I have told a few women I have dated about my weight loss. However I hate is that I've dropped about 60lbs and I'm still a bigger guy at 185-190 and thats how girls see me. So while I feel great about what I have accomplished, its almost as if nothing has changed.

It has definitely changed what I'm looking for in a girl. I want someone committed to an active and healthy lifestyle who will push me to continue mine! I don't WANT to spend every night of the week sacked out in front of a TV getting fat again! I want someone who is going to hit the gym or the tennis court with me! Or just go for a jog/walk around the neighborhood and enjoy the weather and the company.

Kaye8395BTS · March 2011

I knew the man I am currently dating when I was heavy so he knew I had lost a considerable amount of weight...BUT I have been curious about whether to tell people I am romantically involved with, so great question!

msuflute · March 2011

I look for tall men who won't mind whatever my body looks like, because I'll always be smaller then them. It's just too awkward with short/skinny men. I also look for men who are interested in exercising together and being active together. My best relationship was the one where we went to the gym every day as a couple. We held each other accountable and were each other's biggest cheerleaders. We also never had that "comfortable" weight gain so many couples go through when they're happy. The relationship ended, but I learned that was something I really valued and needed in a relationship.

pammbroo · March 2011

I would have no problem sharing my journey with someone. Although I have not accomplished alot in numbers yet, I totally have in level of activity and commitment to working out and making healthy choices. Now finding someone to go to the gym with me before dawn might be a tad difficult....lol.

I would love to find someone who, whether they have their own weight issues or not, wants to participate in an active lifestyle. I would like to be able to share my frustrations and my victories with someone who is truly interested in hearing about them because it is a huge part of who I am.

Physically I prefer bigger/taller guys, but that's not a must. A kind heart, a sense of humor, a brain and a backbone are the "must haves"....oh and he needs to be crazy about me!

jkestens63 · March 2011

If it comes up in conversation, I always tell people what I lost. I worked hard, I damn well better get the credit. If the person I was dating didn't like the fact I was fat before, oh well, his loss. But I felt that way before I lost the weight too - if you wouldn't date me because I was fat then its your problem, not mine. Plenty of fish in the sea.

My hubby and I met 1/2 way through my journey and although he likes the chunky girls, he has been supportive. He doesn't tell me I'm too skinny or anything, just wants me to be healthy. That said, we have completely different lifestyles. I'm definitely a healthy eater with lots of exercise. He eats what he wants, exercises when the mood strikes, and has a bit of a pot belly. Even though I tell him I want him to have a healthier lifestyle because I want him around a long time, I don't nag. He respects my choices and I respect his. We are together not because of how we look or what we eat, but because of what we feel and our mutual goals.

The only person I would never date if I were single again is a smoker. Being a reformed smoker, that would be hard to handle. Plus I can't stand the smell anymore.

bode1all · March 2011

This is such a hard topic for me. I used to feel so ashamed of how fat I had let myself get. I've lost almost 60 pounds and still trying to lose more. But this is all on a 5'1" frame. I havent really dated anyone for more than a few weeks since I've been single which has been about 2.5 years. I still have a poor self image... i know i'm no longer "fat" but I still see myself as being so. I want to find someone who definetly works out, because it has become such a passion in my own personal life, and it is essential for being healthy. I want someone who supports what i'm trying to do for myself, but believes i'm perfect just the way i am. I havent gotten close enough with anyone to tel them about my story. But i'm finally to a place where I am truly proud of all the changes I have made in my life. And I know now this is the lifestyle I want to live. I've accepted that my weight gain, and loss has made me the person I am today and I like me and know I will eventually find someone who also likes me too.

mightymaiden · March 2011

I would have no problem telling a future date about my weight loss. Its something to be proud of isnt it!!. Its not a weakness to be fat.

I am fat due to the fact that I have never really appriciated the consequences of eating unhealthy and basically spent all my life eating what I wanted. I was never lazy just cause I was fat, just loved eating and eat way too much. Since finding this site I relise a chocolate bar requires a 30 min walk to work off lol. So instead of having 4, I just have half.

I have always been attracted to woman of a slightly larger nature. But for me its whats on the inside that matters more. I dont think I could ever see me seeing a really thin person thou lol. Im just not attracted to them, even if I was the same size. Obviously it would be nice if she had similar hobbies to myself but it isnt the bee all and end all.

Jess116 · March 2011

It definitely has to be someone with a similar lifestyle. I'm not ever going back to my old ways. I wouldn't have a problem telling someone I used to weigh more.

1113cw · March 2011

I absolutely look to people who will help me maintain my lifestyle and not drag it down. Plus I think it would be nice to have that in common with someone. I'm not sure that I would be attracted to someone who didn't have the same frame of mind and the same goals I do. Even though that's just a piece of the attraction, starting off dating that would be something that would have alot of weight (no pun intended).

kaymac1908 · March 2011

When my (new) husband and I started dating, one of the things that attracted us to each other is the fact that a perfectly satisfying "date" was a 90 minute trip to the gym followed by a home-prepared salad with fish or chicken. It was very exciting and liberating to find someone who shared my idea of a good time and my food preferences. We also occasionally did other things like dinner/movie nights but when I reflect on how we dated, the gym dates are my fondest memories.

Early on, he told me, "Weight is something we can change. Personality and habits are another thing... It is more important that we like each other." He didn't care that I was somewhat heavier than I would like to be. To me, he seemed slightly bigger than average, but he exercised and had good eating habits so I didn't mind the extra weight either. The more comfortable with each other we became, the more we started to share old photos. It turns out we BOTH have lost quite a bit of weight!

Now that we are married, we still value our 3-mile Saturday morning walks as a very precious and intimate part of our relationship. We still go to the gym, eat fairly healthy (most of the time) and support each other through our life-long journey toward healthier a weight and lifestyle. I hope we are still walking when we are 85.

For those who are dating, find someone who shares your values, goals and preferences first. Weight can (and will) change.

SINGLE AND DATING

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