What are the reasons behind a private food diary?

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Replies

  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
    I also think that some people are more private than others. I don't use any social networking sites that are not professionally related, I don't want to get constant updates from friends either about what they are doing, I'd prefer to have a normal conversation in person. I just don't like having too much data accessible to people on the internet, even if it is just what I ate that day. I use MFP as a tool towards a goal and I like interesting forum posts, but that's about it.
  • MoM2LayLa09
    MoM2LayLa09 Posts: 152
    I am wondering why some people choose to keep their food diaries private? The only reason I can think of is that when you have a day you "overindulged" it may feel embarrassing to tell the whole world, yes, I ate 5 pieces of pizza and went over my calorie goal. We are all human and have "bad eating days" but aren't we here to support each other? If you can't be honest and open with those who are in the same boat and trying to help you achieve your goals, I highly doubt you are being honest with yourself. I love having mine to share with my friends so that I can get advice or just to keep me thinking during the day, "do I really want to put that I ate a huge bag of M&M's for dinner?". I also enjoy reading others for ideas to help my own meals and ways to keep my calories down. So, maybe it comes down to each individual person, and I respect that, I just feel it would do more good to make the food diaries public to keep you in check but maybe I'm missing something!? :)

    I agree... and mine is always open for anyone to see but i do get annoyed when people tell me i'm not eating enough or they say ARE YOU serious?? i'm like... thanks, i'm good.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    People have their reasons for privacy. Let's respect that.

    Mine is open. I keep it open as a public service to show what good eating looks like. LOL :laugh:
  • AmberElaine84
    AmberElaine84 Posts: 964 Member
    My profile is set completely private, my friends don't even have access. It has nothing to do with me being embarassed by what I ate or what I didn't eat, it has more to do with the fact that this is MY diet and I don't feel like I have to share it with anyone unless I want to.

    If I felt I needed advice on my eating habits, then sure - I'd definitely open it up and seek advice.


    My feelings exactly


    Also my feelings! It's a public site, but it doesn't have to be a public diary. I love everyone one here (mostly!), but I like my privacy as to what I eat and when. :wink:
  • Becky011
    Becky011 Posts: 384
    I made mine private after someone made some very rude comments to me about it. It's not that I'm not honest with myself, that's a pretty broad assumption to make. When I started to feel that I couldn't be honest in it because people would be mean, that is when i made it private.

    I have a great group of friends now, and yes I could probably make it public. But its just one of those things that when someone burns you so bad like that, you don't want to risk having that happen all over again.

    Some people are very adomant and rude about what others eat, I've seen a range of comments on other peoples pages telling people to learn how to cook for themeselves, and stop this and stop that - and yes if someone outright asks for a blunt (to the point of rude) critique of their diary, then sure I guess they asked for it - but I am not looking for that on here. I'm not a vegan, or perfectly organic eater, nor do i cook every bite I eat from scratch. I'm just one person, trying to be healthier and lose weight in the process.

    p.s. When the person wrote those horrible things to me I was so discouraged that long after I took a hiatus from MFP and from trying to lose weight. Because it made me feel that if I wasn't perfect in my eating then I wasn't good enough.

    I am good with out that. I appreciate my friends and fellow MFP'ers, its much easier for me not opening that can of worms. If there comes a time that I desire a critique of my diet and that feedback, I'll open it to my friends then, but only with the understanding that they will not be so mean about it as that person was. (Because THAT is not right - We should all be lifting eachother up.)

    Weight loss / healthy living is a journey, not a magical destination you reach simply by deciding to start. I wish people would calm down with their accusations about people with private diaries. geez if you want to see someones diary, just ASK. dont assume their motivation behind keeping it private. They might surprise you in how good they actually DO eat and how HONEST they actually are.

    Lots of emotion here, but its really how I feel.
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
    Mine was public, I shared it and welcomed advice. Until I started getting pm's about eating too many of the same items day after day, like the same Greek yogurt for breakfast. It is one thing to comment or to even offer suggestions it is another to start sending personal messages harassing you about your choices, I often was under cal too and new to mfp and not sure how to work everything and I got messages about being ana which I am not. I just was under the impression that being under was good and the cal amount given was the absolute max. I have learned differently thanks to good friends.
  • mikeyml
    mikeyml Posts: 568 Member
    If you can't be honest and open with those who are in the same boat and trying to help you achieve your goals, I highly doubt you are being honest with yourself.

    I thought this comment was a little over the top. The second half of the sentence is what really irks me. Just because someone has their diary set to private does not mean they aren't being honest with themselves. I get what you're trying to say: accountability equals honesty; but that's not 100% true. I don't have to let everyone on MFP see my diary just to be honest with myself. In the end it's all about me making the necessary changes because I want to, not because someone told me I need to.

    Anyway I originally had my diary set to public and I'm actually damn proud of my diary. I've come a long way in a short amount of time in my opinion. But I decided to make it private about 10 days ago after receiving a lot of unwelcome criticisms. Like I said, I've come a long way, but I'm not perfect by any means. There is a lot of room for improvement. It seemed like people would comment on the ONE day out of the week that I messed up and I found that it really hurt my motivation. If I have a day where I go over my sodium or I don't eat enough vegetables then I don't need someone to question me. I'm sure they're just trying to help me but I feel like unless I ask for a diary critique then I don't really want any feedback. I considered leaving MFP, deleting the friends or just making the diary private. I didn't want to give up on myself and I didn't want to seem rude to my "friends" so I just made it private. Before I can make it public again I need to be comfortable with the criticisms and I don't know how long it will be before I feel that way.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    Everybody is different. Everyone has different reasons for keeping their choices private or opening themselves up to scrutiny and/or advice.

    As for myself, I accept criticism and advice in the same spirit as they are given. It may provoke thought on my part, but in the end I always do exactly as I want to do. My diary is open.

    Other people are struggling and may not want to be scrutinized. I respect that also.

    Personally, I rarely open up someone's food diary anyway. With all the pretty women in here, I have barely enough time to go through their pictures in 8 hours, let alone find out which people are eating flax seed.
  • slimyfishy
    slimyfishy Posts: 114 Member
    Seriously? Someone was bashing another member because of their daily menu? Pleez! Just shows that there are still high school bullies in our adult years too. *sigh* These people need to GET A LIFE!

    I have mine open to friends. I have no problem with folks looking at what I had for the day. I KNOW when I've gone over. I KNOW when I didn't eat enough fruits/veg/fiber, or had too much sodium. I know folks read mine because they have commented on my "shot of tequila" or tons of veggies on a certain day. I also read my friend's daily menu. I see that many folks eat between 1300-1400 calories a day. I am an exercise junkie and need to eat more. What we are all doing seems to be working. I don't post negatively on anyone's daily menu. I encourage when they have gone over with: "Great job on keeping track", or WTG when they go under their daily calories. It is all about ENCOURAGEMENT.

    This site is just like life. Most of us are great, and want to encourage each other. We want to see others succeed, and be praised/encouraged ourselves. Then there are the ones that are bullies and try to make others feel inferior. We can't always avoid those folks. They are everywhere. We don't have to friend them though. :wink:

    Shan
  • rdy2begin
    rdy2begin Posts: 170
    Agreed.
    Agreed
  • eveunderground
    eveunderground Posts: 236 Member
    I don't even use the food diary on MFP, people may think I'm keeping it private, but I don't even use it...so there's nothing to share. I do track my intake in other places (I keep a spiral notebook, and recently started to post the info on my blog).

    This topic about keeping a public diary comes up a lot, and I guess I don't understand why other people think it's their business. I never even look at other people's food diaries unless they post a question asking for help...then obviously it makes sense for them to share their diaries to get constructive feedback.
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
    Interesting conversation. My diary is public, and has been for most of the time I’ve been using the forums. It has nothing to do with accountability. I am accountable to myself. If I am lying in my diary (either by omission or simply flat out falsehoods), I know the truth. And the ugliness of that truth will show up on my thighs.

    I opened my diary once I started forum posting, because it felt like the fair thing to do. I occasionally respond to posts where people are looking feedback on what they’re eating, or want recipe advice, etc. If I’m telling someone else what to cook and eat, having an open diary allows them to see whether I live my own advice.

    However, if I were receiving private messages from strangers questioning my breakfast choice, I’d shut it down in a heartbeat. That’s absurd.

    But, what I eat is not my identity. Over-personalizing my food has done nothing healthy for my body, so I work to be as detached from it as I can. I do look at my friends' diaries when they close them out, because I love knowing what else I could be eating. I *hope* I’ve never said something insulting about someone else’s food intake. If anything, I try to point out the success in each day.
  • jillbarnes
    jillbarnes Posts: 80
    I am wondering why some people choose to keep their food diaries private?
    I've only been using MFP for a month and didn't even realize this was an option! I guess the new member setting is automatically set to hide unless selected otherwise. Thanks for the knowledge. :)

    And the ugliness of that truth will show up on my thighs.
    LOVE THIS! I have the same issue.
  • MamaReebs
    MamaReebs Posts: 240 Member
    Interesting conversation. My diary is public, and has been for most of the time I’ve been using the forums. It has nothing to do with accountability. I am accountable to myself. If I am lying in my diary (either by omission or simply flat out falsehoods), I know the truth. And the ugliness of that truth will show up on my thighs.

    I opened my diary once I started forum posting, because it felt like the fair thing to do. I occasionally respond to posts where people are looking feedback on what they’re eating, or want recipe advice, etc. If I’m telling someone else what to cook and eat, having an open diary allows them to see whether I live my own advice.

    However, if I were receiving private messages from strangers questioning my breakfast choice, I’d shut it down in a heartbeat. That’s absurd.

    But, what I eat is not my identity. Over-personalizing my food has done nothing healthy for my body, so I work to be as detached from it as I can. I do look at my friends' diaries when they close them out, because I love knowing what else I could be eating. I *hope* I’ve never said something insulting about someone else’s food intake. If anything, I try to point out the success in each day.
    I totally agree with that last paragraph. I don't even look everyday. But when I have time and my friends close out their diaries, I like to look to get ideas for myself and also to encourage them for doing such a good job.
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
    Mainly because I'm very happy with what I'm doing and I'm not asking for other peoples opinions on it right now. Also, I'm not a person that needs other people to keep me honest. I am pretty self disciplined all on my own. I'm surely not embarrassed of my choices or "overindulging" I pretty much share the details with my friends list every time I do.
  • jconnon
    jconnon Posts: 427 Member
    I made my public, if it becomes an issue I will change it but I wanted it out there so I felt a little bit accountable.
  • kelligonzales
    kelligonzales Posts: 391
    Mine isn't private, but some people don't know how to stop talking and think its their place to correct something that they shouldn't
  • xecila
    xecila Posts: 99
    No... My profile isn't private because I'm lying to myself. It's private because I'm brutally honest about tracking my food. If I go over my calorie goal I write down every single thing that I ate. I have to look at it, and acknowledge my failure.

    If my diary was open.. I'd feel more pressure for it to be perfect every single day. That would lead to dishonesty much more quickly than keeping it private.
  • bjshooter
    bjshooter Posts: 1,174 Member
    I really don't care who sees mine, I have the odd day, I totally forget, a few days pretty darn good and the a KFC binge :D Meh I do like to have a life and really dont care what people think of my food choices. I have seen some terrible diaries and I dont feel the need to point it out to people, whatever suits the individual.
  • bahrainbel
    bahrainbel Posts: 194
    because it's no-one elses business what i eat?
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    my reason for keeping my diary private has more to do with cyberspace than it does with "sharing" with MFP'ers. I always opt for more security rather than less when it comes to anything on the web.
  • Green_Eyed_Girl88
    Green_Eyed_Girl88 Posts: 73 Member
    BUMP When i first joined MFP I didnt even know that I could make it public. It was automatically private. Then I saw other users "View Diary" on their profiles. It wasnt until a few weeks later that I figured out how to make it public :)
  • BlueEyedMomma88
    BlueEyedMomma88 Posts: 558 Member
    There was a topic floating around yesterday about someone bashing another girls food diary. This is why i want mine private. I'm not ashamed of what I eat...just too many trolls out there looking for drama

    Love this answer!! I keep mine private for that reason as well :smile:
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
    I copied this from my blog:

    I think that there is a lot of pressure to open up your food diaries. I think it's simply creepy. I do not need any lengthy explanations about how this contributes to camaraderie, adds support, is beneficial to all so we can get good ideas for healthier eating, or how it is an incentive to stay straight.

    I do not need anyone to keep me honest. I'm honest with myself. I log all of my foods scrupulously.
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
    My friends can see mine but I do not need anyone to keep me accountable.....it is actually one of my personal weaknesses.....it is so important to be to be accountable that I am very hard on myself.....I guess I don't check other's diary unless I have a specific reason and I guess it bugs me a little that others would be checking in on me without same reason
  • chelsea32291
    chelsea32291 Posts: 216
    I copied this from my blog:

    I think that there is a lot of pressure to open up your food diaries. I think it's simply creepy. I do not need any lengthy explanations about how this contributes to camaraderie, adds support, is beneficial to all so we can get good ideas for healthier eating, or how it is an incentive to stay straight.

    I do not need anyone to keep me honest. I'm honest with myself. I log all of my foods scrupulously.

    Agreed!
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    I dont need to be held accountable by anyone but myself:smile:
  • HelenTheKitchen
    HelenTheKitchen Posts: 383
    I agree with everyone that says that they don't want the advice when it isn't requested. I had mine set to public and someone randomly got on me about eating a cookie in the evening. Are you kidding me? I've lost 66lbs, and I give myself at least a tiny treat everyday. It really irked me so I switched it to private.
  • UmbraForzare
    UmbraForzare Posts: 137
    I understand what you are saying, but there are people who are extremely critical of other people's food diary and try to push their views (whether it's veganism, clean eating, etc, etc) at someone.


    Plus if I'm holding my own self accountable, why I do need someone else prying into my diary?

    ^ pretty much exactly what I think, in a nutshell :happy:
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    *Oh noes~!!1! Sumwun poyntid owt dat pryvisy iz badz fer yur oan goles... wee shud chainj it 2 pubic too B on-nest*

    GTFO. Seriously? Are you really going to eat for them and make sure a diary is absolutely pristine? Are you going to pump their little legs for them on that treadmill, bike, or elliptical to make sure they get some form of cardio? Does it really matter if you can't see their daily intake? If so, feed me. I welcome it. :devil:
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