New and needing help...my husband eats HORRIBLY~ How to resi

Options
ladynirvana
ladynirvana Posts: 4
in Introduce Yourself
Hi, all. I'm 28, mom to a 6 yr old...I stay at home most days and lead quite a sedentary life. I HATE exercising. The only thing I can do and get away with it is dancing! haha~ However, I've debated on getting a Kinect because it looks like a fun time. I'm 165 lbs (roughly...my scale is broken) and I want to lose 50 lbs. I'm only 5ft tall.
Here's one of my MAJOR challenges...my partner is extremely fit. He works out every single day (doing martial arts, running, hitting the heavy bag, etc.) But, he eats horribly. He comes home with fried chicken, ice cream, thai food, pizza, burgers from Five Guys, etc. Just horrible things. And he can eat them because he works it off so hard every day. I, however, sit most of my day but, I feel POWERLESS to those foods when he brings them home. Sometimes we'll eat them at like 9 or 10pm! Sigh.
Can anyone give me any advice on how to deal with this? I'm totally addicted to salty, fatty foods. Pizza is my weakness. I don't know how to say "no"
Thanks!

Replies

  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,238 Member
    Options
    The most important thing for you right now is to learn to say no. You cannot out exercise bad eating. You husband has been born with the genetics to eat that way and not put on weight along with his extensive exercise. You have not.

    Have you talked to your husband about this? He may not realize what he is doing because it sounds like your time together is marked by eating food. He needs to know what you want, why you want it, and how much you need his help.
  • Shaye85
    Shaye85 Posts: 107
    Options
    explain to him how important it is for you to have a healthier lifestyle and if he brings those things into the house hes an enabler and is setting you up to fail, if he has to eat those things, ask him to do so before he comes home. as for the workout, buy a wii fit, ea sports active, i have found them to be an amazing tool to get me off the couch, and its fun, u can always try some workout videos.
  • kimmiehale
    kimmiehale Posts: 3
    Options
    If you have a wii...the "Just Dance" is so much fun and what a work out...start by walking each day...even just 10 minutes and add 2 minutes each day!! You can only do this because it is about you...if you are ready to do this coz YOU matter then no matter how anyone else is it won't matter! Do this coz you are a value to YOU....and then it will all be worth it! Here if you need help! Have a great tomorrow!
  • bp1140
    bp1140 Posts: 24
    Options
    Wow... I almost skipped over this blog, but I am so glad I read it! Your guy sounds EXACTLY like my husband!!! He works out & always stays super hot--- but giving birth to our 4 kids I feel like a hippo!! You can do this!!! I am really working on my willpower. I also keep a lot of healthy foods around so when he is eatong something his body can handle, I eat something my body & mind enjoy. Find ways to play with your 6 year old & get active... You got this, girl!!
  • fnm101
    fnm101 Posts: 116 Member
    Options
    remind your hubby that although he may look good, those high-fat foods will damage his health internally over time (even if he's currently diabetes free, regulated blood pressure, etc.). also, maybe you can gradually wean yourself off of those foods. so, if he come's home with a double burger from Five Guys, remove one patty. then, next time remove both patties (give to hubby) and cook a turkey burger or veggie burger and use the same bun with the toppings. cut the fries in half and drink LOTS of water between bites. add a side salad...there are a lot of ways to gradually reduce your intake of unhealthy foods and increase healthier ones. going "cold turkey" is hard...
  • KerrWal
    KerrWal Posts: 10
    Options
    I can't help with the food problem other than what others have shared! I too deal with a salty food addiction and fast food addictions (I hate admitting that!) but I just try to eat my salt in other places- like steak and chicken with a good marinade or beef jerky instead of potato chips.

    I did want to suggest taking some Zumba classes or buying it for one of your gaming systems. If you love to dance, Zumba is definitely for you! I love dancing and find that I can do an hour of Zumba, burning 700 calories and enjoy it so much more than 30 minutes on the elliptical and burning 200 cals. If you can get out to a class- I think that's the best. The atmosphere at my local class is very club-esque, its kept darker with no mirrors and some fun lights. Give it a try if you can!
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
    Options
    In my house, it's reversed, my wife loves the horrible foods, but she needs to lose weight also. You can have some of this stuff, but in moderation. What I do is to eat half of what I could (it's worked wonders). If you are able to go to a gym, check out the group fitness exercises. They are a lot of fun and don't feel like exercise.
  • UcallMeJay
    UcallMeJay Posts: 96
    Options
    Communication! You gotta talk it out with him. Let him know you need his support, and the best way he can do that is to cut back the fast food.

    I had the same problem starting out with my wife. She is thin and in shape and eats what she wants.

    I had to learn to say NO at first. So she would be eating a burger and I would make myself a salad.

    She eventually caught on and supports my efforts. And now she has started to change some of her eating habits too.
  • elizwelshman
    elizwelshman Posts: 136
    Options
    The most important thing for you right now is to learn to say no. Have you talked to your husband about this? He may not realize what he is doing because it sounds like your time together is marked by eating food.

    That's true, learning to say no and eating better will be the first step. I know how you feel, my husband (Marine) pt's everyday so he can eat junky food all the time. We talked about it together though, as a couple. We are both foodies (big foodies, always trying new things), but for me to be healthier we needed to both agree on not eating junky food all the time. So we don't go out to eat as much (fast food is a "treat"), don't bring too many snacks into the home, and I give myself healthy portions when we eat dinner. Of course I make fried foods, tacos, meatloaf, anything you can think of. He eats what ever he wants, I give myself healthy portions and always include a some sort of vegetable or salad. His support was going half way with me, which was perfect because we are both happy.

    Talk to your husband, the greatest support you could receive is from your best friend. :smile:

    If you need any more motivation or support, feel free to add me. The more friends to motivate, the better!!
    Best wishes on your journey to a healthier you!!
  • jerseygirl777
    jerseygirl777 Posts: 148
    Options
    I can relate! My fiance eats crap... chips, little debbies, pot pies, etc. and still looks good. I make him hide the food from me lol. Its pathetic but I have a hard time if I have to see it all the time! Also, when he eats junk at night, he will wait until I am in bed so he's not stuffing his face in front of me. I think its something you should definitely discuss with your husband and you both can find what will work for you guys! I am sure he will be supportive knowing you are trying to become healthier :happy:
  • fooja
    fooja Posts: 451 Member
    Options
    I agree that you need to tell him to stop!! If he didnt bring the stuff home then u wouldnt be tempted to eat it. Maybe he can eat out by himself b4 he comes home if he needs it that bad! pizza is also my weakness....... i just cant say no either!! i just dont buy it. once in a while i think is fine, but not daily! good luck, and add me if ya need friends!! melissa
  • AllyS7
    AllyS7 Posts: 480 Member
    Options
    It is freaky how much this sounds like my husband and I. It drives me crazy how for breakfast he can eat a Zebra cake and an RC Cola and then eat at Hardee's everyday and still say slim and toned. UGH!

    I have actually just learned to eat when I want and not at the same time as my hubby. I also have begun to offer to cook a lot more. I need the practice and I can choose the ingredients.
  • ShannonE1978
    ShannonE1978 Posts: 13 Member
    Options
    Just tell your husband how you feel about what he eats. Just because he is burning those calories off does not mean that stuff is really good for him. He could end up with clogged arteries. I too am addicted to the salty, fatty foods like pizza, chips and dip and to make matters worse I like to drink quite a bit. My husband tries to be supportive but really as soon as I say should we get something bad he is all over it and sometimes he brings it home himself. What has helped me the most to curb some of that is this Fix it and Forget it Lightly cookbook. We make about one crockpot meal a week and I follow the serving sizes listed and portion it out right away. This way I can just grab one out of the refrigerator or freezer. Also, I like the De-lite pizza at Papa Murphys and have been eating baked tortilla chips with salsa when I really need chips. I have been finding myself using less salt now but it has been a slow process. Good Luck!
  • EvaiTryst
    EvaiTryst Posts: 695 Member
    Options
    Everyone's got some really great suggestions here and you have to learn how to eat healthy together. My husband is the same way and it's difficult for me to eat healthy when all he talks about is fast food. Right now we are trying to loss weight together and be healthy together. It's got to be a team effort.
    As for the Kinect. I have one and absolutely love it. The freedom of motion is awesome. I definately recommend Your Shape Fitness. There are a variety of workouts. It instructs you how to do the routines. It was cardio, strength training, kick boxing... and yoga. Plus it tracks your calories burned. I love it. Kinect Adventures is also a lot of fun and a great workout.
    My Xbox is broken right now though. :( The power brick broke. So I've been using some workout videos that I really like. Kickboxing and yoga. It's good fun.
  • ladynirvana
    ladynirvana Posts: 4
    Options
    Wow thanks so much for your replies!!
    I think if I talk to him about him bringing food home, he'll be likely to help out with it. A few months ago I said something about it and he started hiding the food and hiding in the kitchen eating it. He would go in the kitchen to throw something away and after 5 minutes of him being quiet I would catch him eating ice cream quietly so I wouldn't know ~ lol
    Maybe I can convince him to take a look at his own eating habits and make changes. One thing that has seemed to help just this week was planning out our dinners...that way I wouldn't get to the point where we're ordering food late at night. We do LOVE to eat food together. I mean, we like to do a lot of things together but, eating out at restaurants or take-out food is something we really love to do. I'm going to have to work on some willpower for sure. But, my mom is morbidly obese, my sister is morbidly obese and it has affected her fertility, my dad has Type II diabetes so, my weight is scaring me. I want to be fit and healthy and set a good example for our daughter.
    Thanks for all of your kind words...I've been dealing with my obsession with my weight gain and beating myself up for so long without having anyone to talk to about it who was also trying to lose weight.
  • eleonoreOU
    eleonoreOU Posts: 83 Member
    Options
    He definitely sounds like my boyfriend...
    I just cook for both of us so he knows he doesnt need to bring stuff home. And when he does it's because he's coming home late and I've already eaten.
    Every time I actually feel like I want some of his food, I think to myself how it will reflect on the scale the next day...
    sometimes I actually go ahead and enjoy a good pizza (but not the one with all the cheese, different kinda meats...) just a margherita... But I work out.

    Honestly, I don't think it's doable to try to lose weight and not work out. It's a whole, a combination of good eating and workout.
    I used to hate working out. And I did for a few weeks. But I swear....After a few weeks, you get hooked and can't live without it...

    If going to the gym seems boring to you, try to get a couple of your friends to go play tennis, racquetball, volleyball, walk around a lake at a fast pace... Kayak season is starting this weekend... I'll start next week. It's the kinda exercise that's fun and time flies by.... especially if you're with a friend.
    I also play golf with my friends on the weekends... I doesnt seem like it but man does it burn some calories!

    Just experience new things and try to find something you'll like. I guarantee you by the time you start working out and burning calories, you wont want to waste your calories on food that's bad for you and that you dont get a lot of for the amount of calories...

    Hope this helps....GOOD LUCK :)
  • cohollywood
    cohollywood Posts: 90
    Options
    I am in a similar situation as you - except my husband just has a metabolism most of us would die to have. He does not gain weight. Ever. He can eat whatever he wants, and do absolutely nothing active and never gain a pound. It's incredibly frustrating.

    For me - it's all about my willpower. For the most part, I've been able to say "no" to everything he eats. I make him dinner and usually while I am making his burger or pizza, I am eating my dinner, so by the time his dinner is done, I'm already full. Then, when he's eating I will snack on some veggies or something.

    I do think you need to start becoming a little bit active though. If you think the Kinect will help you, I would buy it! I hated working out - but I just made myself go because I knew I wanted to lose the weight and now I'm pretty much addicted. If I don't go to the gym one day I think about it all day and night and will crave going. I've woken up at 4AM before because I felt like I needed to go workout. It's crazy how it takes over your life, but it's a good thing. You have to start somewhere, so do something you think would be fun. Even taking a walk every day, or taking your daughter to the playground and playing with him is a start.

    Good lucki!
  • NoExcuseTina
    NoExcuseTina Posts: 506 Member
    Options
    I read your post and want to say, I have been and am still in a similar situation! For example...tonight, my hubby came home with a burger with bacon, french fries and chicken nuggets from Wendy's and I made a choice to eat a black bean burger with half an avocado (see my food journal). So, how can I say "no" to the french fries and the like (the other day I watched him eat a piece of cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory)...well, this site is helping me tremendously...it allows me to make educated decisions. For example...I could have eaten the cheesecake for 570 calories..".NOT"...that is 2 reasonable MEALS. I asked myself the whole drive to the restaurant...is it worth it? I decided it was NOT worth it...good healthy fuel was worth the 570 calories. I know that is not always the easiest thing to do...but what helps me is I do not want to gain back any of the weight I have lost so far! I have sat in a restaurant and watched him eat fresh chips, hamburger with bacon and french fries...while I drank an ice tea with Splenda...but I knew I had 210 calories of oatmeal waiting for me when I got home that night. I was not able to do this 6 months ago...but I am now...because I have figured out that I AM WORTH IT !!!!!!! Hope this makes some sense...I was just excited to share with someone that I can relate to!!!!!!



    4692665.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter
  • ladynirvana
    ladynirvana Posts: 4
    Options
    I'm happy to know I'm not alone in this! I'm glad I have you all to talk to and realize that this struggle is not of one person but, for every person that is trying to be healthy. I can relate with you all! I have faith in myself...I'm really going to make it my goal this week to say "no" to overeating and "no" to crappy food thats horrible for my weight loss. I AM worth it. Thank you so much for your words, everyone!
  • ashleycmullis
    ashleycmullis Posts: 1 Member
    Options
    I am new too with the same problem. I'm a SAHM with a 6 yr old and 10 month. I love pizza and have found that lean pockets are a good choice...just watch the sodium. I've been making alot of grilled chicken to replace the fried chicken that he loves so much. It has been a willpower thing for me to be able to say no and so far it is working. I do some of the things others on here are doing: eating my dinner while cooking his, spluring every now again and eating my pizza. Everything in moderation. You'll never stay on a healthy diet if you don't cheat every once in a while. Exercise is key though! I get on the treadmill for 30 mins everyday and walk briskly. I have also recently started the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred dvd and it is going great for me so far. You are constantly moving so you don't really have time to think about anything else. I hate to exercise but I hate having the extra weight more. GOOD LUCK! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Categories