MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

mommared53
mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
edited September 24 in Chit-Chat
My younger sis just e-mailed this to me.

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's *kitten* and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
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Replies

  • sweetheart03622
    sweetheart03622 Posts: 928 Member
    OMG You are amazing. You just made my day so much better, thank you!
  • lotty1987
    lotty1987 Posts: 176 Member
    pmsl ! well done !
  • marathonmom1
    marathonmom1 Posts: 1 Member
    lol : )
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    That is too funny!

    But seriously, are you really not allowed to shop there anymore?
  • Dencrossgirl
    Dencrossgirl Posts: 501 Member
    Lol
  • Dencrossgirl
    Dencrossgirl Posts: 501 Member
    Lol
  • missmmaynes
    missmmaynes Posts: 79 Member
    Oh my goodness! Some people do ask the most ridiculous questions! Awesome job on your quick-witted answer! I'm still laughing!!
  • AggieCass09
    AggieCass09 Posts: 1,867 Member
    HAHA! Great!
  • up2me2lose20
    up2me2lose20 Posts: 360 Member
    LOL -- thanks for the laugh!
  • Best story ever!!! If you don't mind, I'll be printing it and telling more people haha!!!
  • boobee32
    boobee32 Posts: 450 Member
    OMG..THAT IS HILARIOUS!!!
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    You are astounding. Standing ovation! I wish I was at the Costco you were at, that day. I would've given you the high five of a lifetime.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    haha I've read that before and the ending still makes me smile so hard!
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
    Ha!!! Too funny!
  • ChefJenn
    ChefJenn Posts: 350 Member
    i just laughed out tears..
    OMG too freaking funny..
    since I do buy dog food like that..
  • Tiffany1111
    Tiffany1111 Posts: 17 Member
    This just made my day! I love your sense of humor!
  • andreae13
    andreae13 Posts: 239 Member
    I LOVE that joke! I got it from my Retired father-in-law last month....sooo funny!!
  • MGBeebe
    MGBeebe Posts: 1
    I am also retired - so no spring chick. Never before in MY life have I laughed until I cried - always thought it was just a saying until I read your sister's e-mail. Thanks for a GREAT LAUGH!!!!! Too good to not share - hope you don't mind. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Live_To_Win
    Live_To_Win Posts: 340 Member
    I tip my hat to you! That was WONDERFUL!!!
  • Fesse
    Fesse Posts: 611
    Thanks for this, I needed a good laugh today. lmao
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
    That was hilarious....Thanks for sharing it ; )
  • OMG! I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard. Thank you for sharing this.
  • EmelyJ
    EmelyJ Posts: 208
    OMG, That's funny!!! She's properly still thinking if that was true or if you just made that up...
  • tmogs
    tmogs Posts: 287 Member
    lol too funny
  • That is classic!

    *Scratches head*,,, I wonder if that diet would work :huh:
  • OMG I should log this as ab work, I am laughing so hard! LOL!!!
  • That is freakin hilarious :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • qtwells82
    qtwells82 Posts: 352
    Nice:laugh:
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    :laugh: ROFL
  • fitzie63
    fitzie63 Posts: 508 Member
    Your sense of humor is absolutely PRICELESS. Shame on Costco for banning you from shopping there. They should have rewarded you for being so entertaining.
    Claire :)
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