MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO
mommared53
Posts: 9,543 Member
My younger sis just e-mailed this to me.
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's *kitten* and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's *kitten* and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
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Replies
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OMG You are amazing. You just made my day so much better, thank you!0
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pmsl ! well done !0
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lol : )0
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That is too funny!
But seriously, are you really not allowed to shop there anymore?0 -
Lol0
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Lol0
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Oh my goodness! Some people do ask the most ridiculous questions! Awesome job on your quick-witted answer! I'm still laughing!!0
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HAHA! Great!0
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LOL -- thanks for the laugh!0
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Best story ever!!! If you don't mind, I'll be printing it and telling more people haha!!!0
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OMG..THAT IS HILARIOUS!!!0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
You are astounding. Standing ovation! I wish I was at the Costco you were at, that day. I would've given you the high five of a lifetime.0 -
haha I've read that before and the ending still makes me smile so hard!0
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Ha!!! Too funny!0
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i just laughed out tears..
OMG too freaking funny..
since I do buy dog food like that..0 -
This just made my day! I love your sense of humor!0
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I LOVE that joke! I got it from my Retired father-in-law last month....sooo funny!!0
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I am also retired - so no spring chick. Never before in MY life have I laughed until I cried - always thought it was just a saying until I read your sister's e-mail. Thanks for a GREAT LAUGH!!!!! Too good to not share - hope you don't mind. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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I tip my hat to you! That was WONDERFUL!!!0
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Thanks for this, I needed a good laugh today. lmao0
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That was hilarious....Thanks for sharing it ; )0
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OMG! I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard. Thank you for sharing this.0
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OMG, That's funny!!! She's properly still thinking if that was true or if you just made that up...0
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lol too funny0
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That is classic!
*Scratches head*,,, I wonder if that diet would work :huh:0 -
OMG I should log this as ab work, I am laughing so hard! LOL!!!0
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That is freakin hilarious :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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Nice:laugh:0
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:laugh: ROFL0
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Your sense of humor is absolutely PRICELESS. Shame on Costco for banning you from shopping there. They should have rewarded you for being so entertaining.
Claire0
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