Weightloss and Dating

In my personal opinon, though I admit I am not very experienced with the whole dating thing, I say just be yourself and that's all that matters! If he urges you to eat something that you don't think is a good idea, just tell him you prefer to eat a little healthier and maybe make a suggestion for something yummy and healthy.

And I think if a guy gives you the evil eye for wanting to take care of yourself then he's not worth dating in the first place! It's your right to chose what you eat and no one should make you feel bad about chosing not to eat something you decide is unhealthy.

Sorry if this was absolutly no help. :ohwell:

If you are dating someone who is easily annoyed when you are making positive lifestyle changes for your health, then you shouldn't be dating them!

I think that a supportive relationship will actually help you stay on track--I know I couldn't have come this far without the most wonderful husband on earth. Not someone who calls you fat or anything--but someone who is willing to skip a night of beers and wings in order to eat grilled salmon with you--because they know it is important!

I am struggling with understanding what it must be like for others to watch me lose weight--even those who know how hard it is/how much I have struggled--some still seem intent on getting me to fail! I would say that you just have to remember why you are doing this--for you!--and the rest of the people be damned. Easier said than done, right?

this is how you find your true "match" for lack of better words. If they like you when you are losing then they really like YOU instead of a number on a scale. Just be careful at what you eat and live it up

When I first started dating my husband, I gained back a ton of weight, but with that being said, he saved me from worse things than bad eating habits, and he made me really happy. So my advice is to do what makes you happy!!!!! Talk to him about your new lifestyle change, and you never know he may have the same views as you do on health and fitness, making him a huge support system!!

Thats a toughy:
on one hand everyone wants that special someone or at least date - it makes you feel better about yourself
then you are right - it really hurts going out and either resisting temptation or giving in, either way its no fun.

My bf is supportive in a way. Like he knows I want to do this and will help me but at the same time he is still eating delicious stuff I wish I had plus he won't eat fruit or veggies so he's not a great role model (although I love him dearly) Which makes cooking for the both of us hard.

As for advice - personally, I think you should date have fun. It can't be any worst than my experiences. (I vomit on first, second, and if we get there third dates) I have anxiety issues Finally got medicine for it .. but like I said .. it can't get worst than that plus I have some dating horror stories

I think the hardest part is friends/family/workmates giving you looks or making comments on what you eat. In some ways your success can highlight their failure if they have weight/food issues themselves. In addition, change is scary...they know you as the you you have always been and this new you, well, they don't know that you yet , and that that you will still love them and enjoy their company.

Like today I was at a meeting, and the hosts had provided lemon pound cake, coffee with half and half, and red seedless grapes. I took a few grapes, and this woman pushed the pound cake at me. I told her no thank you, politely, saying I had oatmeal and flaxseed for breakfast so I wasn't very hungry. Instead of saying, oh okay, and leaving it at that, she says oh you are so goood. She is a very nice lady and good at what she does but it was the way in which she said it, you know? I had to remind myself that she might not even know how she is coming across. Or my mom will immediately ask me if I am anorexic, because I make an effort to eat healthy foods. Of course I get upset, because it is completely ridiculous and anorexia is a serious issue and not one should take so lightly (but that is another topic).

When it comes to guys and dating, well, I have never had a guy comment negatively on what I eat. And I have abstained from Alchol and eaten salads and/or grilled chicken on dates. I just order, you know, without making a big deal about it and without apologies/explanations. I think it is when we "preach" or not do something (like not go out because you don't know what's on the menu) or talk about calories and fat grams constantly that ruins it. Just relax and act confident (even if you aren't). A confident girl (or guy) who can laugh and be silly are always fun-no matter if they have the wings or the salad!

I bought this book Secrets of a Former Fat Girl...by Lisa Delaney. Now, this isn't something I would normally pick-up, but someone had mentioned it on this site they day I was at Barnes and Noble. This author talks about her journey to lose 70lbs (and she does talk about how to deal with the unsupportive people-the "pusher" as she calls them and the dating. she does a great job with this). She doesn't talk about dieting very much.(she lost weight initally by attending Jazzercise and then running. A few years after taking up running, she goes to Weight Watchers and eventally meets her goal weight. Through exercise and healthy eating she has kept it off for 20 years).

This is what makes the book so great: Losing weight becomes a metaphor for her process of self-actualization.

Anyway that was a long-winded approach to giving you my two cents worth :laugh:

I have enclosed her website. http://www.formerfatgirl.com/

If you think of it as a lifestyle change, not a diet, it will seem much easier. Instead of saying "I cant eat that, Im on a diet" say "I like to eat healthy" or something along those lines. It's ok to treat yourself once in a while, but if you date someone who keeps pushing and pushing even after you say no thank you, then they arent showing to be a very understanding person.