In need of a eenie rant

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Shofie_1910
Shofie_1910 Posts: 39
in Chit-Chat
This is more of a rant then anything and i apologise for that i'm just really frustrated!

I've been on this diet for almost a month now (I had to stop part way through because i did some tendon damage in my foot, so this week is my first proper week) and my OH has been so amazingly supportive. Minus one thing.

I have a 17 month old little boy and as any parents out there will tell you, trying to do exercise AND look after a child is just not possible. He sits on my stomach when i try to do crunches, throws his toys at the telly and his favourite thing (which is so adorable) joins it doing the marches and hand waves. I love him for it, but it makes doing my DVDs a million times harder. So, and i really don't think i'm being out of order in doing this. Over the weekends, and the weekends only since my OH works, i ask him to look after our son for a maximum of 2 and a half hours so i can work out and shower.

My OH can't even manage to do that. When my son wakes up at about 7 and i get up to start warming up, he will simply go into my sons room shove a dummy in his mouth and crawl back into bed. Then, when our son is still awake and crying to be got up, come storming into the living room asking why he has to deal with our son when i'm all ready awake. And he plays the famous "I work 5 days a week" card. As if y'know i sit on my backside all day everyday eating choccie and cake (I wish!).

Usually after 5/10 minutes of letting our son scream himself hoarse he'll go get him up, bring him in the living room, change his nappy, make his breakfast etc. He will then put our son in the high chair and either go back to bed or go shut himself in his office. I am then stuck with a crying baby, throwing toys at me because he doesn't like being stuck in his highchair when its not meal time (Can you blame him?).

Eventually i have to stop working out (I probably should have stopped earlier but i really don't see why its such an issue for my OH to look after him for a while) to let our son out of the highchair and/or drag my OH out of bed or his office. And by the time i get back to doing my DVD i've cooled down and have to start all over again!

Am i being unreasonable? I get up an hour or two BEFORE my son and OH in the week so i can work out without distractions is it wrong of me not to do the same over the weekend?

Anyone else have a similar problem with children who want to be too involved and make it difficult for you to exercise? Any tips welcome!

Replies

  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
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    You're not unreasonable.
    Your hubby is being selfish.
    Being a mom IS a full time job, so you work every day too.
    It's his son too, so NO, it is NOT unreasonable for you to want him to spend 2 hours playing with and occupying him.

    Perhaps on weekends you could wait until the afternoon when everyone is up, eaten, dressed and then have him TAKE the baby out of the house for daddy-time with him for 2 hours?
  • Shofie_1910
    Shofie_1910 Posts: 39
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    Perhaps on weekends you could wait until the afternoon when everyone is up, eaten, dressed and then have him TAKE the baby out of the house for daddy-time with him for 2 hours?

    I had considered this, but i find it so hard to work out in the afternoon/ evening i much prefer to work out straight away after getting up, so all that in my tummy is a glass of water.

    I think i may have to suck it up and deal with doing it in the afternoon.
  • sgha
    sgha Posts: 225
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    Since you didn't MAKE your son alone, you shouldn't have to take care of him alone. I was blessed with a husband that loved to
    help take care of our kids, so I really can't relate. My suggestion, is get a playpen to put him in while you are working out.. He can
    watch you and play with his toys and not be confined to a high chair. Don't let it discourage you. You are doing this for them as
    well as yourself. Good luck and keep us posted.
  • Amandac6772
    Amandac6772 Posts: 1,311 Member
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    That is one of the reasons I get up at 4:15 am to work out. There is also nap time. You can get a good 20 minute workout in with something like 30 Day Shred while he is sleeping.
  • flttumee
    flttumee Posts: 16
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    How come when us Mothers have the kids it is "our job" or what we do? How come when the Father has the kids . . He is babysitting??? It is their job just as much as ours so don't ask him. . . Did he ask you? tell him "I'm working out. . keep an eye on the kids!"
    You are worth it and need time to charge your own batteries!!!! and btw . . . you work 7 days a weeks 24hours a day for as long as you are a mother (a lifetime). . . he gets 2 days off a week. . you can't have 2 hours???????
  • Luckymam
    Luckymam Posts: 300
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    Yeah, he's being unreasonable.

    I'm lucky that my hubby is supportive but I still find it hard to fit in exercise around full-time shift work, a husband, a disabled 9 year-old, a 6 year-old and a 14 month-old baby who has just discovered climbing!

    Why not try walking or jogging with your son? Strap him in the buggy and off you go. It's frustrating not being able to do exactly the type of work-out you'd like to do, so just try and fit anything around your child. Any exercise is better than none. I'd love to be able to visit a gym or attend fitness classes but time and financial restraints mean that it's just not possible so it's pointless getting stressed about it. I walk everywhere. If I go to get the shopping, I take my son and walk there and back. I walk to and from work. Sometimes I fit in Jillian Michaels 25 minute workout before work at 5 am. Occasionally I can fit in a quick dvd work-out if the baby is asleep, but that's not that often!

    Sometimes you just can't do it all. Accept it and know that as baby gets older, it'll be easier.
  • StephanieConnelly
    StephanieConnelly Posts: 14
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    Hi I have had similar problems with my partner but he is getting better maybe at the weekends you could suggest he get up with your son one morning so you can workout then the other morning he could sleep in longer and look after your son in the afternoon for you to work out? I've had problems even shopping and trying clothes on for example my partner would expect me to take our daughter in with me and struggle rather than just watch her for 5 minutes! Men! Luckily she has just started nursery school in the mornings so I can do a bit of a workout before going to pick her up! Hope you work something out :-)
  • cerysrhi
    cerysrhi Posts: 262
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    I think if you are up in the morning during the week to work out then on the weekend you don't necessarily have to work out in the conventional way maybe you could all get up together and go for a nice long walk take a picnic with you and a football if the weather is bad put the music on the telly and have a disco or go to a soft play center I look after 6 children one of whom is my own and they enjoy all of this as well as playing on the wii fit games maybe your son would enjoy that.
    As for your OH he seems to be quite selfish my husband works away all week my son and I only see him on the weekends but I have a lie in on sat and he has a lie in on sun maybe you could compromise with him say if he gets up with your son on one day so you can work out and on the other you let him lie in. also if you want to give him a little bit of tough justice then look after your son and yourself in the week and make him realise how much you do for him whilst he is at work I.e don't do his washing, the cooking and the cleaning etc he will soon see how under appreciated you are!
  • Shofie_1910
    Shofie_1910 Posts: 39
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    Thanks for all your replies!

    I think the best option will be a compromise like many of you have suggested. I do need to have a day or two a week where i don't work out so i could use either Saturday or Sunday as one.

    As for the playpen idea, i have looked into that but most playpens are rather far out of my price range! I'm hoping to pick up a little exercise bike so i can start using that while he naps.
  • mainey65
    mainey65 Posts: 342 Member
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    My boys are grown now, but when they were babies I bought a jogging stroller. (They can be kind of expensive but I bought mine second-hand). My son used to love it. I'd strap him in and off we'd go! He'd get some fresh air and I'd get some exercise.
    Just an idea.
  • FemininGuns
    FemininGuns Posts: 605 Member
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    I would also suggest talking with your OH and ask him why is not supportive of exercising and why his behavior demonstrates that he doesn't want to care for his child?

    Yes, these may be serious questions - but I could NEVER imagine my husband doing those things to his children... It's pretty close to neglecting the child and that concerns me...
  • Shofie_1910
    Shofie_1910 Posts: 39
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    I would also suggest talking with your OH and ask him why is not supportive of exercising and why his behavior demonstrates that he doesn't want to care for his child?

    Yes, these may be serious questions - but I could NEVER imagine my husband doing those things to his children... It's pretty close to neglecting the child and that concerns me...

    He's not a bad dad, on a usual basis when it isn't 7am he's amazing with our son. And he's so supportive of my weight loss coming up with load of low cal healthy recipes for me to try. Its just early mornings over weekends that he turns into mister Hyde.

    Is it a man thing? Or is it just him that turns into a beast in the am?

    I think next weekend i'll try letting him lay in on Saturday and asking him to get up Sunday so i can workout, see how he handles that.

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