8 year old daughter.

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mablesyrup
mablesyrup Posts: 286 Member
in Food and Nutrition
My oldest is 8 years old. We moved in with my grandparents about 3 years ago. We never had a problem with her weight until then. At the time we first moved in, I was working and they would watch her. Often I would come home and they would rave about how she had eaten 2+ cans of Ravioli or spaghettie-o's. You can imagine my horror! Sheesh. BUt they still think- that growing kids eat a lot- and therefor it's a good sign if she eats her dinner and then finishes off their dinners too. Well this had caused my daughter to go from "normal for her size" at age 5- to age 8 and now she weighs 110lbs! Granted- she is very tall for her age- but this is still too much. She has NEVER liked fruit (even when she was a baby).. but every few weeks i make her try a different fruit- hoping SOME DAY she will like it! She used to LOVE vegatables.. but now will only eat Green Beans or my grandma's butter/brownsugar coated cooked carrots! I realize I should have stepped in a long time ago and put my foot down- but i don't know there are lots of emotional issues there (ie.. they are letting us live here rent free etc.. so i feel like i can't say anything). How can I make sure she eats healthy??? I don't want to freak her out about her weight or say anything- and i dont want to put her on a diet (i went through that when i was little)... but I at least would like to be able to maintain her weight (at the least) so that she gets good eating habits and then someday "grows" into 100lbs. I can't believe I let this get so out of control. When she was younger I really made sure she ate healthy foods and portions etc- because I knew of my weight- i didn't want her to ever go through what i went through- but i didnt want her to know what I was doing- it worked for 5 years- haha! I just need some suggestions/ideas/encouragement.. anything! I'm really feeling at a loss! I want to put a stop to this now!

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  • mablesyrup
    mablesyrup Posts: 286 Member
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    My oldest is 8 years old. We moved in with my grandparents about 3 years ago. We never had a problem with her weight until then. At the time we first moved in, I was working and they would watch her. Often I would come home and they would rave about how she had eaten 2+ cans of Ravioli or spaghettie-o's. You can imagine my horror! Sheesh. BUt they still think- that growing kids eat a lot- and therefor it's a good sign if she eats her dinner and then finishes off their dinners too. Well this had caused my daughter to go from "normal for her size" at age 5- to age 8 and now she weighs 110lbs! Granted- she is very tall for her age- but this is still too much. She has NEVER liked fruit (even when she was a baby).. but every few weeks i make her try a different fruit- hoping SOME DAY she will like it! She used to LOVE vegatables.. but now will only eat Green Beans or my grandma's butter/brownsugar coated cooked carrots! I realize I should have stepped in a long time ago and put my foot down- but i don't know there are lots of emotional issues there (ie.. they are letting us live here rent free etc.. so i feel like i can't say anything). How can I make sure she eats healthy??? I don't want to freak her out about her weight or say anything- and i dont want to put her on a diet (i went through that when i was little)... but I at least would like to be able to maintain her weight (at the least) so that she gets good eating habits and then someday "grows" into 100lbs. I can't believe I let this get so out of control. When she was younger I really made sure she ate healthy foods and portions etc- because I knew of my weight- i didn't want her to ever go through what i went through- but i didnt want her to know what I was doing- it worked for 5 years- haha! I just need some suggestions/ideas/encouragement.. anything! I'm really feeling at a loss! I want to put a stop to this now!
  • winwin
    winwin Posts: 134 Member
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    this is a very tricky situation. She is still very young. When my daughter (now 18) was in her early teens she decided to become vegetarian, but on her conditions. She didn't like many vegetables and ate fruit with lots of sugar on it, no eggs, or other protein, so I had to be pretty sneaky and make some foods when she wasn't around. . She had one friend she hung around with and every time I saw them together they had pockets full of candy, once they even had kool aid powder that had the sugar added and they ate the whole container. Of course, they don't listen to mom, and don't know the harm they are causing to their bodies.

    She just turned 18 and is going to her boyfriend's prom in June and decided last Jan. to do something about her weight. She found this site and actually that's why I started on it. I was gaining weight and couldn't figure out why when I didn't eat very much and considered myself active. When you actually see where your food control is (or lack of it) and see how many calories you are eating over what you need) it really opens your eyes. My daughter has lost twenty pounds since January. I have lost twelve.

    Your daughter may be too young for my suggestion, but it might be worth a shot.

    Let her see you figuring your food and nutrition information when you are on this site, and set up a site for her so she can track what she eats and her excercise. Maybe having control of it and seeing what her day looks like may entice her to eat healthier herself. It might be a couple of years yet before she really cares. But if you treat it like a game or as helping you, it could work.

    Good luck! my thoughts are with you. Let us know how you progress. :flowerforyou:
  • Eve23
    Eve23 Posts: 2,352 Member
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    I like winwins idea.
    But I would also suggest trying to make it a whole family thing. When you whole family is making healthy choices it makes it easier to follow along specially for an 8 year old. Try getting out and doing new things she would like to do. Let her know she is helping you and you need her. I do that with my 6 and 12 year old. But maybe talk to your parents and let them know it is important that you all are on the same page. Not easy I am sure but you might be surprised.
  • mkeithley
    mkeithley Posts: 399
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    I had my kids go with me to the garden store and pick out vegetable palnats they wanted to plant in a garden. I had them take care of the garden and enrolled thme in a gardening class for kids.I was a single mom at the time and money was tight, the payoff was so worth it. As the garden began to grow they became more excited and when the veggies were ready they actually ate them.

    I have also heard that when introducing kids to knew foods it takes something like 15 times before they develop a taste for it. I always introduce a new fruit or veggie with a food I know they like and make them eat 3 bites(even if tiny) of the new food, then I will wait a couple of weeks before I introduce it again.

    My grandparents are the same way. I use to bag up a weekend's worth of healthy food and send it with them when they visited because it got so bad. They just thought I was nuts, but soon got over it and by the 3rd time they gave in and started buying/cooking more healthy for the kids. I also put a huge emphasis on trying to prevent diabetes as it runs in our family.

    I know living there might make you feel like you can't have a say in anything, however this is YOUR child and it's her health, if you can't stand up for her health who else will? Your grandparents love you and will continue to love you regardless of if you have a talk with them. I don't think they will kick you out because you don't want her to eat green beans with brown sugar:happy:
  • mablesyrup
    mablesyrup Posts: 286 Member
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    Thank you so much for your replies!!!! You all gave EXCELLENT suggestions and at the same time were supportive! (I asked this question on Yahoo Answers once and all I got were replies along the lines of, "OMG YOU NEED TO MOVE NOW FOR THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILDREN!!!" I was like are you kidding me? Anyways though- thanks again for the support! My daughter is def. very active and I have a sister who was "chubby" when she got into elementary school and then once she reached puberty she completely thinned out- so my mom thinks it might just be that. I want to teach healthy eating habits though no matter what and I find i'm constantly on her case about portions and how she's really had enough to eat and doesn't need more! Maybe having her do MFP would help because I could do it as an educational game/fun thing to do- a science experiment of sorts! She would love that!
  • abbychelle07
    abbychelle07 Posts: 656 Member
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    My daughter is def. very active and I have a sister who was "chubby" when she got into elementary school and then once she reached puberty she completely thinned out- so my mom thinks it might just be that.

    That could be the case. I know a lot of kids that get chunky right before a height growth spurt. That being said, I would just talk to the grandparents and explain (calmly) your concerns. Only you know them, so you can say you would like her to start eating more _____ or less _____ or she is no longer allowed to eat ______. Also, you could not buy certain foods/snacks anymore or offer to make more meals yourself? It all depends on the dynamics of the house.

    I wish you luck. Family is sometimes a hard barrier to overcome.
  • DBranchaud
    DBranchaud Posts: 827 Member
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    I remember I was pretty chucky when I was a kid ( actually i was always kinda chunky). I kinda have a problem along the same lines.

    My niece(10) and older sister live with my parents and I . I've seen that kid eat an entire jumbo bag of chips by HERSELF. And she doesn't eat my healthy stuff. When she comes home from school she'll make herself a GIANT mug of hot chocolate (one of the giant mugs equals about 2.5 regular mugs) and try to hunt down the junkfood in the pantry. I have to be in the kitchen when she gets home. And of course if I'm in the kitchen "AUNTIE DD HAS TO MAKE ME A SNACK" and she's such a darn picky eater too.
  • HustleRose
    HustleRose Posts: 88
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    It wasn't Kool-Aid powder, Mom. It was just regular fruit punch, thank you very much. I hate Kool-Aid. :smile:
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    I think the key is to talk to your parents. It seems like your daughter is receiving positive attention for overeating, and that is the root of her weight problem. If you can get your parents on board, even if it takes them hearing a doctor explain the problems of childhood obesity, steps can be made to correct the problem.

    I'd suggest slowly reducing her portions and changing her meals up. I suggest that only so she doesn't suddenly realize her diet is changing due to her weight. However, I can tell you, kids aren't dumb and they aren't sheltered from weight issues. I'm sure others at school have poked fun of her about her weight. I remember it myself, being made fun of, as well as hear it from my little brother (who just turned 10 today). She might even want to lose weight, but not know how to approach it, as Grammy and Grampy think it great that she cleans her plate. But whereas she eats two cans of spaghetti-o's now, maybe reduce that to 1.5 cans and add a side of green beans (if that is all she will eat). Slowly move it back to 1 can of spaghetti-os, green beans and a yogurt/fruit. Slowly switch it up is what I am suggesting.

    I wish you luck with taking care of your daughter. It's hard to be healthy in a household where others eat junk. :flowerforyou:
  • Anna_Banana
    Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
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    Sorry about your situation, but what ever you decide to do you need to do it soon. My cousin was an over weight kid and grew up to be an over weight adult, and life isn't hasn't been easy for her. In school kids made fun of her, even in high school. Adn she never dated until after she was in college a while, so she missed out on tons of the everyday stuff other highschool girls go through.

    I would by tons of fresh fruit and make her try some every day. Eventually she will aquire a taste for it. I would just tell her every Monday you will have to eat 1/2 and apple at supper, Tuesday 1/2 a banana, Wednesday 2 strawberries. Set up a schedule and stick with it. I would also do the same with veggies. By week 4 she will stop complaining and start enjoying.
  • DBranchaud
    DBranchaud Posts: 827 Member
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    I agree with the introduction of fruits... Fruits are a great thing that I love. The best season of the year ( in my opinion) is summer when all the farm fresh local fruits and veggies come out...... I could eat a tomato like an apple....so sad it's fall now.


    Try to introduce a lovely wide variety of fruits. If the kid has cereal for breakfast try putting some on top^_^
  • andtckrtoo
    andtckrtoo Posts: 27 Member
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    I'd sit down with mom and dad and have a nice long talk. I understand that this situation is a little dicey, but seriously - you don't want your daughter eating that stuff on a daily basis(occasionally is fine - I'm a big believer in "All things in moderation"). It's just not healthy. Studies are showing more and more that bad eating habits as child, even if corrected as an adult, can still lead to problems down the line. Sit down with your parents, point out your concerns, and offer to take a more active role in the preperation of family meals, grocery shopping, etc. Look for Kid Friendly healthy recipes (there are quite a few) and start preparing them. Look at her favorites and figure out how to prepare these dishes in a different, healthier way - chicken nuggets for example can be made with shake and bake and chicken breast - my kids love that.

    Good luck to you.

    Christine
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    I would by tons of fresh fruit and make her try some every day. Eventually she will aquire a taste for it. I would just tell her every Monday you will have to eat 1/2 and apple at supper, Tuesday 1/2 a banana, Wednesday 2 strawberries. Set up a schedule and stick with it. I would also do the same with veggies. By week 4 she will stop complaining and start enjoying.

    If you take her to the store and let HER pick out the fresh veggie and the fresh fruit to eat with that night's dinner, maybe she'd be more inclined to eat it.

    It might even help to lead by example, so when she picks out something you don't like, you force it down anyhow, letting her know you don't like it but are eating it because it's healthy. Showing her that you are willing to eat veggies and fruits you don't enjoy might encourage her to keep eating healthy too.

    Just a thought. I know kids like to have a little control in situations like this.
  • Starlightdusk
    Starlightdusk Posts: 106 Member
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    you should also be aware that there are disorders like PCOS and thyrod problems that can start to affect kids at this age. 8 was when i started gaining weight b/c of PCOS and it didn't matter what i was eating (always healthy still gained) it doesn't sound like this is your issue but i always want to remind people with kids that it might not be anyones fault, just their bodies.

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